I had a dream last night instead of having a cat named Jack, my parents had a bulldog and a chimpanzee named Chester.


And oh, the fun we had.

Flight attendants are important. They have to deal with people, which is euphanism to say they have to deal with retarded assholes. (This is ironic because retarded people pretty much can not be assholes.)


But most of what they do is distract you from the reality that you are stuck in a little aluminum tube with a lot of people who either breathe through their mouth too loud, or have sweaty hands, or don't realize how many people they are sharing their personal space with.

They distract you by handing out bags of pretzels, or animal crackers, etc. And its not about the pretzels, you can tell this because they only give you (3) pretzels. Its about waiting for the pretzels, then opening the bag, then using the little napkin to wipe of the pretzel dust. Then waiting for the garbage bag to come through.
Eating (3) pretzels only makes you a little thirsty, so you get a little can of pop. Sometimes, if you are a big enough roller, you get the entire can of HOT WET AMERICAN SODA POP.

Another tactic is the Warm Towel. You hand out a Warm Towel with a warm towel Tong.
I don't get that shit. I don't think I want a warm towel, even if it is lemon scented or something.
What I could really go for, actually right now, is a warm Q-tip.
Sometimes there is an itch only that Q-tip can scratch.
And the best would be if they made a little contest with it. They can weigh the Q-tip before and after.
"Congratulations Mr. City2000, you are all man at 35 grams! You may chose from the prize list: small liquor bottles or another Q-tip."

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My last day at the juice factory was Friday. It was really nice.
I was hoping to burn bridges, maybe be a dick about it but everyone was a gent about it.

Tomorrow I start working as a Fu el Ce ll T est En Gineer and I'm a little par anoid that google will lead people to estrip among other places.
Finally a halfway decent job, with halfway decent bank.

The job is in the Rochester area, so I'll be moving out there in a month or so.