Category: funny

05/11/06 01:07 - 74ºF - ID#22765

Be careful

You may pee your pants a little from laughing hard when you see this:

Permalink: Be_careful.html
Words: 25
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: donkey punch

05/08/06 05:26 - ID#22764

Even the models like it

Paul, Sarah, Terry and I have an odd fascination with Donkey Punch. Or maybe we just like to say it a lot? Who knows. In any case it appears the the models like it too. Awesome:

On a similar note I recently met a senior writer for page six. Sigh. I told him I'd sleep with him on the spot just because he did celebrity gossip. I wasn't kidding. I regaled him with my (e:pageseven) stories. He loved it. I suppose it's not always easy being down with the gossip. That was a dream come true.

I went to a pickle party on Saturday (some dude is starting a gourmet pickled products company). A friend of a friend we ran into at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens invited us. So turns out one of the people we went to the party with was from good old B'lo. Awesome. He knew some of the peeps I knew and he worked for jetblue. I knew that i recognized him from somewhere. Then Sunday I ran into a girl from the party downtown while I was shopping. It's kinda rad that finally I know enough people here to just run into people and have various adventures.

As for my previous post. Anyone who has a younger brother/sister knows when people fuck with the sibling shit is going to hit the fan. That's all there is to it. Built up rage sure it's there. However it's due and directed at the tourists that fucking can't figure out how to walk on the sidewalk when I'm trying to get to work.

And with that folks- I'm outtie 2000

Permalink: Even_the_models_like_it.html
Words: 280
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: estrip

04/27/06 03:58 - 53ºF - ID#22762

Update on my life

I don't know why Ive been so opposed to updating my journal for so long. I guess that so much crap happens I never feel like typing it all.

So trip to B'lo:

Crazy man on the train to work. Kept buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt and counting all the buttons. On this train I had my suitcase for the trip. For some reason I needed to pack the most things ever and my suit case was huge. So get off the train and go to walk down the stairs. Homeless/train man is in front of me. All the sudden he turns around and is like let me carry that. So for any of you with any sort of street smarts rule number one is don't hand over anything you ever want to see again to a homeless person. Im like no im good. Then he starts to grab it. Meanwhile a line of angry commuters are forming behind us trying to be on their way. A struggle ensues for my suitcase. Mother fucker.

Then I'm at work all ready to go. It starts to pour. I predict I'll have a hard time getting a cab. Thus I leave 15 minutes early at 12:15 instead of 12:30. Actually I left early so I'd have enough time to get my nails done and catch a cab. Anyways I return to the following bitch email:

Jessica:
I was looking for you at noon today to go over some items for Karn's last day. However, I discovered that you've already left. I know you asked for a half day today but please note that you will get paid a full day only if you came in and worked until 12:30. Just a heads up for timesheet reporting purposes.
Thanks,
Maria

I hate my job.

Other than that the trip was pretty good. I love Paul and Mike and Terry- they are the best guys a girl could ask for.

Post b'lo the most exciting thing that has happened is I went out to brunch with my science crew and we actually got cut off at an "all you can drink" brunch. Um isint all you can drink- all you can drink. Meaning I'll let you know when I've had all I can drink. It worked out we took the party back to the UES and had a trader joe's fiesta till 3am.

Again i'd like to promote the zizzler's blog. If you don't choose to read it you are a fool. And yes I do mean that in the most insulting way possible :)

Permalink: Update_on_my_life.html
Words: 433
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: fake thin

04/15/06 06:24 - 50ºF - ID#22761

Photoshop Diet

In reference to (e:mike,483) I agree that I too have seen many a cute-a-fied picture. I feel like this presents an unfair advantage to those of us who choose to keep it real/old school and forego the photoshop corrective surgery. I mean I'm all for cropping a picture to edit out a ugly friend, but to use a picture to distort the body image is really not cool. I mean come on- no one wants to think youre hot only to discover upon meeting you in real life that your not. In the spirit of this me and (e:paul) have invented the photoshop or not game.

Permalink: Photoshop_Diet.html
Words: 109
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: lust or is that want

04/06/06 05:27 - 48ºF - ID#22760

OMG

I need to own this:

I can't even imagine how funny it is. Or maybe I should have invented it.

On a totally different note: I think I'm being a huge bitch today for no reason. Mea culpa to all those i've been a bi-atch to...

Permalink: OMG.html
Words: 64
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: the zizzler

04/06/06 11:04 - 42ºF - ID#22759

If you dont read this we are not friends

Permalink: If_you_dont_read_this_we_are_not_friends.html
Words: 5
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: rockstar

04/04/06 10:15 - 34ºF - ID#22758

My karaoke debut

This past weekend was the best ever. Hard to believe but I've never been to karaoke before. For my big premier I chose one of my all time favorite songs "Pour some sugar on me" By Def Leopard. You really can't go wrong with a song that encourages one to lick sugar off you.

The next day I spent at the beer garden in queens. Again totally awesome time.

Such a pleasant change from my last weekend of everything sucking.

Permalink: My_karaoke_debut.html
Words: 102
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: steak

04/03/06 04:43 - 53ºF - ID#22757

God heard my prayers

I love steak. I'm pretty much willing to whore myself out in order to get steak. The only two ways I normally get steak are:

1. Whore myself out to the man- aka sit through a business dinner. Sometimes those are fun, most times not.

2. Whore myself out to a man- aka go on a date with the premise that if I order a kobe beef steak most likely Im going to have to put out. Somtimes worth the steak, sometimes not. Thats always a gamble.

Just this very morning me and dear Mimi were musing how we could so go for a steak, yet neither of us had the means to obtain one (here a good steak dinner can easily go $150 a person with wine). Awesomely I got an invite to a business dinner- and Ms. Mimi will be my date. So I guess today Im a whore for the man. I'm so willing to put up with dull business talk for a steak!

Permalink: God_heard_my_prayers.html
Words: 164
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: buffalo

03/16/06 10:40 - 33ºF - ID#22755

I need some love

I can't wait for my trip to the Buff, I need some love Buffalo style. Most importantly I can't wait to eat at left bank on Friday! And drink beer. Steak and Beer, mmmm.

Permalink: I_need_some_love.html
Words: 34
Location: Jersey City, NJ

Category: gay

03/09/06 11:24 - 53ºF - ID#22752

Proving my theory..

I have a theory that if you are a gay man you pretty much have access to any women's boobage. It seems to hold true across the board. And here is more proof to back up my scientific research:

Missing Image ;(

Permalink: Proving_my_theory_.html
Words: 42
Location: Jersey City, NJ

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