Update on my par-ta (update requested by Paul):

Went into crooklyn, my new jeans are comfy and the perfect fit.Got to the party fashionably late (is there any other way to arrive?). There was tons of food, wine and my fave champagne! So in any case got there and Mimi forgot to tell me they had cats. I was kinda pissed because I hate cats (Sorry Mr. Mang). I am so fucking allergic to those fur balls and was not looking forward to another cat filled evening. I decided to just go with the flow and see if I started sneezing. I ended up being ok- well ok for 3 hours. So the usual hipsters were there. Im not a huge fan of the hipster crowd, but these ones ended up actually being coolio. I met this girl Jackie and she was a lot of fun. We had a ton of great conversations about:

1. Vermin in NYC- What nasty infestations we have had (scabies, bed bugs, carpet beattles, mice, roaches) and how you feel so gross that you have these things yet everyone has them. Then everyone went around the room and told what infestations they have had recently.

2. Central Park and the safety of it.

3. Neigborhood snobs. People have this thing about where you live and depending on your location it either adds value or detracts value to you as a person. Since Im in jersey I am not even on the radar. I actually found out guy #3 in my previous post couldn't handle dating a jersey girl.

4. How Seinfeld makes 100% more sense once you live here. It really is the best show ever and so like everyday life here in a way you just don't understand unless you are here.

5. The crazy people on the train that you see everyday and have you ever followed them to prove they aren't crazy.

6. Times you have been harassed by teenagers on the train (amount of time the harassment lasted, how embarassed you were, location/train it occured on).

7. Lastly and most importantly- Ability to spot celebs.

Topic not discussed but maybe should have been- Should I call the rocker from Friday night? Hmmm....

After my rantings yesterday I went out to drink my worries away. Yeah well I started drinking vodka on the rocks at 6pm and keep on going until around midnight when I switched it up and started on the PBR. thats when things went south. Liliho why didn't I read your journal before I went out?! Yeah I went home w another shady guy. He was all punk rock east village style. Who knows what that was all about. I did the walk of shame and got home at 8 am.I justgotup and now I have to gear up for crazy night #2. This time its a party in brooklyn. Im crossing my fingers and hoping I can remian slightly more in control this evening. The positive thing about this all is I have guy #3 (from m yprevious journal) 100% out of my system. For those of you interested in the exact details of my trist I'll give them later- I need some water and I need another shower- the east village is grimy ew....

Today I go and drink my irritation at men away. I just spoke with my g/f about this topic and she said Im not alone. Apparently the ny dating scene is awful for all women and thats why there are so many bitter women out there. You know I kept thinking I am going to get a dog or a b/f. I really thought ok I am going to try for the b/f. Now I know I am so getting a little dog. One that fits in a little purse that I can take everywhere with me as a stand in for a date. At least I can guarantee that the doggie will snuggle.

I just locked myself out and to top it off I left my vibrator in plain sight so when my landlord actually does come to let me in there it is for everyone to see.Fucking A.

Please never leave us again. This is what happens when you leaves us to our own devices. Now that you are back I feel .05 % better. Things are looking up!

So on my way to the train I spied Lizzie Grubman (ok so she is more like a b-list celeb but still who else saw a celeb today). She was running into Mickey D's. Firts of all she had on the silliest outfit ever. It was the flowy black backless number that was supposed to be a summer dress with these awful platform flip flops. She was so skinny you could see her ribs through her back. I know you can never be too rich or too skinny but if it makes you look old and used then maybe you can be too skinny. On a side note I would not mind starting out that skinny and then eating my way to some t and a.

is minutes away- mmmmm beer...

Taste of Buffalo should 100% not be on Main Street anymore. Don't you recall all those years of us eating lamb lollipops dodging people with SUV strollers and masses of humanity all trying to fit on that narrow street with train track divots?! Either way I'm coming home (and yes I will be staying at the mansion) for the fat ass feast and you had better be ready to live it up like its 1995 (our graduation year). It can be our very own special high school reunion.

[inlink]paul,3404[/inlink]

So when I first moved here this guy Peter couldn't get enough of me. He thought I was so sweet, and cool. He always used to say "Jess don't become like those New York bitches. all women in new york are such bitches". I really didn't know what he was talking about. I was like yeah OK Peter whatever.

Fast forward to this morning:

I wear an ipod pretty much anytime I am out in public. I do this for a reason. Here in nyc everyone wants to talk to you. They want to sell you something, ask you something, hit on you, ask you for money, or are just plain nuts and blabber at you- this is 100x worse if you are a woman. I quickly discovered that to avoid insanity when leaving my building I needed a way to tune it all out. In comes the ipod. For those of you who do not know the ipod is somewhat of a huge phenomenon here in nyc. Everyone knows what the white cord leading up to your ears means (for a while people were being targeted on the subway just on the basis of the white cord), it means I am listening to my ipod. If I am listening to music I can not hear you. So I am in the train station buying a card. I'm late to work as it is and the machine is not taking my money. As this is happening to me some guy is next to me. After a few minutes I figure out that he is asking me/telling me something or waiting for the machine. Well I'm not leaving the machine asshole till I get my new card so if you want me to hurry standing right next to me is not going to help. I look over at him and say "dude whatever you are saying i can't hear because I have head phones in" so he continues to stand there and I read his lips asking me to take them off. WTF?! Sure let me just put all my crap down, put buying my ticket on hold and remove my headphones for you. Get a fucking life. I just turned around and pretended he didn't exist. This crap happens all the time. Frequently it ends in me saying something like "fuck off" to the person. I am now a new york bitch and me and Peter aren't even friends anymore. I think its for the best...

After four days of non stop partying like its 1995 with all the epeeps I need a vacation. Things tend to get a bit out of control when you combine the Ho sisters, nyc, alcohol and various other people. Seriously I don't think I drank anything other than various forms of alcohol for four days straight. I am going to bed as soon as I get home from work- I hope I make it through the day. The only thing that would have made it better is little paulie.