7/6/2013

a week of vacation (mostly) with my beautiful fiancee... so sad to be heading back to reality, even tho I love my everyday life. this week we did a lot of work toward integrating our space and stuff. unfortunately, there is very little space so it was hard to add much of Dianne's stuff. what she does have is more present and I packed away some stuff. We also went to Canandaigua for Phish and ended the week camping at landrus and a 9am meeting today.

Dianne's first surgery was almost exactly a year ago. We took this leap of faith, a blind jump into each other's lives, because we both wanted and needed each other more than we could imagine being apart for an unknown, unpredictable amount of time. We thought she might be staying with me for a few months, and then in a couple of months, we realized that we wanted to live together. here it is July and we're just now able to implement the plan. We realized we can't get a bigger apartment right now, we're gonna be here a bit and Dianne's starting school in late August. and we have a wedding to plan!

We have a date, an officiant and a location! I love you, beautiful!

We've had the best day! We started with an excellent breakfast cooked by some cute boys, then gathered our gear for a ride to windmill point park in Fort Erie. The peace bridge inclines weren't as bad as I thought they'd be, but the non-path provided for bikers is CRAZY. with as many bikers as we saw crossing the bridge, you'd think we wouldn't feel like the first riders ever. It was incredibly dangerous crossing the traffic lanes. I'm glad we get to skip the lines tho.

however, friendship trail is amazing!!! The ghost park is so neat and I loved the interpretive signage. it's a beautiful, well maintained pathway that if you take it far enough, gets you to British Columbia. well before that, you get to windmill point park, a spring-fed flooded quarry. We swam and dove of the little cliff. so fun! The ride back seemed really quick and easy, even the huge peace bridge incline. my tummy doesn't like the bridge, or maybe seeing the moving water. I almost panicked on the way over, but on the way back I just focused on watching (e:Dianne)'s cute ass instead of trying to sightsee.

next, dinner!

I have defeated the ice machine! I made ice last for 24 hours!! The trick is to freeze fairly big blocks of ice - I used some ~20oz plastic food containers. The ice slips out with just a quick run under water. Then I filled the rest of the machine with some smaller blocks made from little soda cans and regular ice cubes. I don't recommend the little soda cans - the edges were too sharp after I cut off the top. The bottoms of half gallon milk jugs would probably work well but I like being able to close and stack the tupperwares.

(e:Dianne) is recovering well from surgery for the most part. She's able to make her own coffee already!

I am so grateful to Tanya, (e:bluevelvetjack), Mykal, (e:Terry) and (e:Yesthatcasey) for their visits and hostess gifts of ice, beer and mayonnaise.

I got a better night's sleep last night and I'm not so whiny. D's in a LOT of pain - she just weeps from it. She did one set of exercises yesterday, but she overdid it and tried to achieve what she's supposed to do by next Friday. Today, I wouldn't let her time the exercises, I made her listen to her body to determine what is "too much". She did two sets today. (e:bluevelvetjack) hung out with her today while I went to the office for a while.

(e:Dianne)'s surgery went well yesterday. There wasn't a partial rotator cuff tear, so it was a lot of clean up. They used words in this article to describe it to me: and said these words too but the recovery listed in the second article seems incompatible with what the nurses and doctor said after the surgery. So confusing. The staff at the surgical center were super nice and remembered us from the last surgery in July.

Tanya brought two huge bags of ice and sat with D for nearly three hours while I attempted to acquire the critical pain and anti-inflammation meds. I only partially succeeded and I'm very frustrated by that. (e:Terry) visited so we could talk about work - we've seen each other in the office two days in the past three weeks. (Really, three weeks??) Our associate (e:ejtower) had a new exciting job fall into his lap and is leaving Monday. We hired a replacement for him and they're hanging in the office transferring knowledge and skills. We're adding a part-time tax person and trying out a part-time admin/data entry person. Crazy growth this year!!

Keeping D's ice machine filled with ice is one of my biggest challenges in this process. The machine has no insulation, which is just idiotic. Very similar to this It needs refilled about every five hours, which means getting up in the middle of the night to fill it with ice and water. (Ones with insulation like a cooler exist, I don't know why we have this one.) I'm glad there's a bit of snow left because the freezer is full of food, so one of the big bags stayed out in a snowbank last night. Luckily this part only lasts three-four days, although she will need ice as she does her physical therapy exercises for the next several weeks.

My brain is fuzzy from worry, anxiety and lack of sleep and my eyes hurt from crying.

You are walking along Franklin and turn onto West Tupper. You almost run into a guy grabbing a woman by the hair, yelling at her that she shouldn't make him hit her. he hits her. what do you do?

I'll let (e:Dianne) tell her story...

pix are Sunday night, Monday morning, Tuesday morning.

Sunday, November 17, 2013, Dianne and I went to see War Horse at Shea's, thanks to tickets that a client gave (e:Terry) & me. We got all dressed up, heels & fancy dress, tie... we looked spiffy. We walked over, went in and admired the theater restoration progress, got in line for drinks, and D and I were giggling about being in love and together forever and she said, "Heidi, will you marry me?" "YES!"

It was so unexpected and yet expected - I had been daydreaming already about when I would ask her - I started with next summer (so she'd have time to fully recover from her 2nd surgery, which is scheduled for 1/13/14) at Sand Run Falls (e:dianne,57816) , and realized I couldn't wait that long, I wanted to know now! So I thought I'd wait till New Year's. She had been trying to wait until Christmas to give it new meaning for me. I love the spontaneity though :-) :-)

We walked out of the theater and it was just sprinkling a little. About halfway home it started pouring (and yes, I'm still wearing 3" heels). We paused in a doorway and laughed.... we continued walking - we wanted to go somewhere to have a drink to celebrate so we went to Nietszche's - jazz every sunday night. We happened upon a couple who are my clients and they were the first people we told. It was pretty awesome because they had gotten engaged not too long ago. So lots of giggling and kisses and shots. It was perfect. They told us that getting caught in the rain symbolized change and the washing away of the past.

When we got home, damp, giddy, pleasantly drunk, and hopelessly in love, we exchanged rings. It was so intense and meaningful. She gave me her Aunt Laura's ring that had been crafted out of stones from one of her great-grandmother's rings. How special!! It is absolutely beautiful. I gave her my grandmother's wedding band (e:heidi,54996). They both fit perfectly.







I didn't know what the stones were and (e:Dianne) couldn't remember. They were really dark so maybe onyx? A few days later, (e:Paul), (e:Terry) and I went out to lunch at Craving on Hertel and visited a client's jewelry store (for this purpose (e:joe,58354)). I asked the jeweler if my ring was sturdy enough to be worn all the time. He peered at it with his loupe and said it was sapphires! He asked if he could clean it, and of course I said yes. It came back GORGEOUS and sparkling, and very definitely sapphires. He tested the setting and it's all solid, so I can wear it all the time without worrying that I'm going to break it or lose the gems. He also described the style as an "eternity ring".

Since then, I think we've told everyone in person that needs to be told -besties, Uncle Dudley, my parents, her parents, my various (former) lovers, our close friends... Some oddly difficult conversations, some expected difficult conversations, and some wonderful celebratory conversations. A couple people said "About time!" - we've only been together a year so I don't think we should have discussed this sooner....?

I've never wanted to get married. It never felt real to me. I think the legalization of same-sex marriage in NYS and watching (e:Terry) & (e:Paul)'s wedding, then Cara & Barbara's wedding... plus law school where the benefits and risks of marriage are pretty clearly spelled out... finally changed its meaning for me.

We first kissed at the 24's 2012 Halloween party, but (e:Dianne) was supposed to leave... first in February, then April, and then June really definitely offered a position in Denver starting in July. I figured we'd have a lot of fun and she'd leave, we'd cry, and maybe she'd come visit every now and then while I'd go back to my regularly scheduled life. Her life exploded July 10th and we've been falling deeper and deeper in love despite a difficult surgery and recovery, and financial and emotional chaos. I completely did not expect to be sitting here telling everyone we're engaged. I didn't even expect to decide to live together (that happened in September, several months after she started staying with me). From some perspectives, it's quick/soon to be making such a big decision, she was leaving, we've only been clear that she's staying a while since July, but from other perspectives, it's been an intense year with some pretty difficult and stressful events and if we can confidently get through all that then we're solid for the future.

We're planning for a summer 2015 wedding. I'm REALLY REALLY hoping that same sex marriage will be legal in PA by then. Bloss' new mayor, Jill's husband, offered to officiate before we even got engaged but he can't officiate in NYS.

(e:Dianne), I LOVE YOU! I'm so excited to be building a future with you!! <3 Butterflies <3 Rainbows <3 Fireflies <3 Fireworks<3

(e:Dianne) and I were supposed to go to the Hotel Lafayette last night, but I drank too much flower power too soon so (e:Dianne) took me home. Today was a lazy and emotional day - she's not been away from family for Thanksgiving ever, and it was my first year in a long time being away from A's family. It's like this holiday got trampled in the transitions of our lives in the past 5 months. We have a plan for Christmas, tho, her favorite holiday. We're going to bed closer and stronger than when we woke up. A good day.

We went for a walk, made breakfast, chocolate chip cookies, kale chips, and baked marinated tofu and chicken with a cilantro pesto.

She called her mom and talked to a bunch of nieces, her brother and sister while prepping the kale.



Chocolate chip cookies


Kale chips


(e:Terry) and I had a working lunch at the 24 yesterday - the backyard is so beautiful!


This is the chaos I see when I wake up - three different patterns??

(e:Dianne) says she's multitasking: watching her beloved American football team and watching paint dry.