Sigh...
I'm in yet another of those horrible "woe is me nobody loves me" moods and I hate it.

But I've also been told that it's "very unattractive" to whine about it...

So I'll spare you the details-

I'll just say that I jumped through many hoops, turned down invitations, and pissed off friends and family to get this weekend off to help my 'friend' with his charity event out of town. Not to mention it was his birthday and I was hoping to spend it with him.

And then he left without me, and wouldn't answer his phone for the rest of the day.

So I had this long-anticipated entire weekend off...

alone...

in Buffalo...

The glorious grand finale was when my friends had to escort me out of mother's at 1am in a full-blown crying jag. Blotch-faced, snot-nosed, blubbering tears. In the middle of Mother's.

LOVELY.

And the thing is, i'm not even sure what triggered it. Well I have a clue.

I fucking hate boys.
But I love them.
Or at least one of them.
And he couldn't care less.
And it hurts.
:(

So I just found this menu laying around for an all-vegetarian indian place-
Palace of Dosas, on 656 Millersport (between sheridan and eggert)

www.palaceofdosas.com

Menu sounds good... Figured I'd pass it on.

Ok guys, any opinions?

Photobucket vs flickr vs picasa

Flickr has a nice little iphoto plugin to upload easily.
I think picasa might too, but I haven't tried it yet
And I like how in photobucket it gives all the links for embedding pix in blogs, forums, websites etc- you just click and it automatically copies it.
I don't know if the others do that.

Does anyone use these?

Pros/cons?

Thanks

My 'maters are growing!

whew... what a night.

Since I am giving my pseudo-non-BF "space" [even though today would be our 3 month anniversary and I was hoping to go out with him last night since I have to work tomorrow so tonight isn't a good choice, but he had plans to go play board games with strangers which apparently is more important than me - whatev- so he's getting time to 'cool off'] I went out with some friends last night.

Apparently douchebag is everyone's favorite new word. I got some messages that they were at Mother's and to come meet them. And then I got a warning that it "looks like a douchebag kind of night". So, I met them at mothers. It was a bunch of lawyers talking law stuff which was entertaining and interesting for about 15 min and then I started to zone out. Then we went across the street to Scarlet. Which wasn't so great. But one of the lawyers from Mother's was suddenly chatting me up a little.... friend's BF later said "he was way into you... asking me all sorts of questions about you..." Which was flattering for a minute. Except that he had a wedding ring on, that he was very non-subtly trying to hide all night. I asked "well, isn't he married?" and everyone hemmed and hawed and finally admitted he is.

Ok that's great, I'm flattered he likes me, but I am SO not interested in a married man!!!!!! Skeevy!!
[instead i'm interested in guys who will jerk me around and not act interested at all, and be furious when I tell them that I'm jealous of my friends that have BFs that are actually willing to put in ANY effort to see them. woohoo! that's MUCH better!]

So then my friend and her BF wanted to go to the casino. I didn't really want to go. I'm not into gambling and it's kind of far away, and what if they wanted to stay late but I wanted to come home... But they twisted my arm.

This girl is a friend of mine... met through a friend... and she's dating this guy now.... he seems like a good guy. He's crazy about her, and super generous. he makes a lot of money, and throws it around like crazy. Now I am not used to being around people who spend money like crazy like that, and I'm always a little uncomfortable having a guy spend a lot on me- ESPECIALLY if he's not my bf. But, apparently that's how he rolls, so I'm just supposed to sit back and enjoy the ride.

So they convinced me to to go the casino. My friend made BF give us EACH $200 "douchebag insurance"- in case we wanted to go home but he wanted to keep gambling.

But so we get on our way... we went to Seneca Niagara. I've never been there. But I guess BF is quite the frequent flyer. In the car he showed me a postcard that he said makes him "king of the douchebags". Basically the casino is giving him a free room for every night in the month of august. Wow.

In the car on the way he called ahead to reserve a room (it was already like midnight) in case we wanted to just stay. They told him the rate was $275. He said "how about the comp rate?" and gave them his name, and they said they'd take care of it.

So we got there, and went to check in. The guy at the counter said 'do you need two queens? b/c we'd like to upgrade you to a Center Suite, sir'

So we got a center suite. it was freaking, well, SWEET. Huge. 2 bathrooms. A bar. A living room. A separate bedroom with a gigantic bed, and a giant jacuzzi tub like 2 feet from the bed in the middle of the bedroom. And the main bathroom was all crazy and marble with this awesome shower and stuff... Nicest hotel room I've ever been in. I took some pix but they suck b/c the light was too dim. Ok, but I'll post them anyway.

But so then we went down to the floor. They were playing blackjack. I just watched. I mean I guess I know how to play, but not fast like they do, and I felt nervous about it. Like I'd be the jerk who hits when I shouldn't and pisses everyone off b/c I messed up who got what card after me, etc. But Carl Palladino (sp?), who it turns out is a friend of the BF, was at our table, playing with lots of money. "we" (and by "we" i mean friend's BF) started with $500 and played anywhere from $25 - 200 per hand. My friend decided that the BF should win us massages for the next day. So we watched him, and drank, and went and got dessert, and watched him some more, and Carl flirted with us... Finally BF was up $2000. He gave us money to put aside for the spa in the morning. He had his initial $500 in his pocket. Things seemed great. We stayed while he finished that rack? (i don't know what it's called) of cards. And he lost what he'd won- except for what he'd given us. But he was even. We thought it seemed like a good time to go. But he didn't want to. So my friend and I went to our crazy suite and put on fancy robes and went to bed in the giant king size bed.

Well I woke up in the "morning" (it was like 11am but still pitch black b/c of the awesome curtains), and I was alone in the giant king size bed. My friend and BF were on the foldout bed in the other room. I felt like a jackass that I was the third wheel but they had to sleep on the sofabed. But they didn't seem to care. BF was not in such a great mood though... But he HAD been up $7k at one point. But in the end... I'll just say he should have stopped when we told him to. :(

So we skipped the massages. But ate some comp breakfast, and then came home.

It's just crazy. I've never seen money come and go so fast like that. and the crazy room upgrades and stuff... I guess I can see how people can become gambling addicts.

Oh- And my new landlords are going to let me have a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At this point I just want to do a temporary foster thing to help a dog in need until he can find his 'forever home'- but I'm so excited!!!!!!!!

Ok, pix of the room- and this is just the bedroom/bathroom part- I didn't even get any of the bar/living room part!


The tub, right next to the bed. And right next to the window on the other side. But NOT in the bathroom. Weird.


Monster king? size bed


One of the two giant plasma TVs in the room


part of the bathroom


more bathroom


shower

I just got an email with a bunch of old ads. how scary!
And, I included a picture of the WORST SHOES EVER.
I don't care how comfortable they are- they should not be allowed in public. Crocs are bad enough (but I love 'em).



Ok, there are supposed to be a bunch more pix (the scary old ads), but for some reason they won't upload. And then I had to go before I got to figure it out, so my post is sort of incomplete.

To answer questions- I don't know when those shoes first came out, but I saw a guy at work yesterday wearing them, and they were just horrible, so I had to come home and look them up.

Anyway... I have some funny pix, if I can ever get them to work...

Yep, vicious killers of the young and old (and apparently now child-rapists) they are....

I totally meant to post this yesterday, but forgot...

So yesterday I had a patient with 16 tattoos. I didn't see all of them, but some were pretty cool. And the newest ones were only 2 weeks old.

One was a quote, almost looked hand-written. On his right side, over the bottom of his ribs.
But the words were a little freaky...
It said:

When I was going up the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd go away.

But then I googled it, and it's a quote from a movie. Phew!


And then he had another one on his belly... cute little pink lips, like a lipstick kiss, and the words "Art of Suduction"

Yes, Suduction.

with a U.

I googled that too, just to see if it's a band or something... some pop culture reference that I'm missing...

But sadly, I think it's just a typo.

Jesus.

I mean, if you are going to have something permanently marked into your skin with a needle, wouldn't you at least make sure it's spelled right?! How embarrassing...

I think I was just dumped via text message.

I think that's kind of low.

Maybe it was overdue... maybe it's for the best... maybe I'll see that someday.

But for now I'm pretty sad, and just keep hoping I can 'work things out'. Why I want a guy who doesn't want me is beyond me, but I am beyond rational thought when it comes to this guy.

He has this thing where he doesn't like to go out on weeknights (unless it's me going to his house) since it's "too far" [it's a 24 minute drive]. I think that's stupid, but since I want to see him, I usually make the drive. he has not made the drive downtown ONCE in the 2 1/2 months we've been 'seeing each other', if I can call it that. But at the same time, he's taken me to his parents' several times. It's mixed messages if you ask me. he says one thing, then acts another way, and I just don't know where I stand.

But last night I was going to meet some friends out for a drink. So I sent him a text. I said something like "i know it's a weeknight, but i'm meeting people out and we'd love to have you if you're interested." he said 'awww, thanks'. Eventually I said 'ok, i'm leaving now. Talk to you soon. have a good night. And we'll be at cozumel if you change your mind.'
His reply 'thank god! no more texting!'
I said "that was mean"
and hour later got "haha - lighten up"

sent him a message later, something someone said... he replied "pls don't blow up my cell"
I said fuck you. but then we joked and went back and forth for a bit.

I spent some time with my friends, and it was nice. Both of them had their boyfriends stop by at one point. And it just made me think "THAT is how it's supposed to be." It reminded me what it's like when the guy actually LIKES the girl, and acts interested.

So when I got home I went to turn off the lights and saw that he was on IM.
Sent him a message saying goodnight. And I said 'i'm going to bed a little drunk, and jealous of my friends that have guys that are excited about them."

Maybe that was bitchy, maybe I shouldn't have said it, but I don't think it's unreasonable. he didn't reply.

So then this morning I got this:

"I got some overall fucked-up IMs from you last night and I think it's better we keep things at a friends angle for now - that is just too much."

And I think that's it.

I replied, but he hasn't said a word since.

I'm kind of heartbroken.

...sailors take warning.

The camera doesn't do it justice but the sky was amazing this morning.