So I don't know what's with me these days...
I just can't seem to get my mind around anything. Can't focus, can't concentrate, don't want to DO anything that I should do...
All I want to do is sleep and lounge around...
And it's not that i'm depressed, I don't think... I'm just... scatterbrained.
My thoughts are all over. Not sure what's right or wrong, what I can or can't do...
I feel like my mind is racing all over, but not really going anywhere...
People are in and out of my life, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about that... In fact I'm pretty sure I'm NOT happy about it.

I have so many good things going on right now, but there's still so much more that I want... And I don't even know if it's reasonable of me... I'm distracted all the time...
I don't know how to act... what to think... if I should talk or not talk.... act or not act... make a move or not... I wish people would just answer my questions and help me out... don't play games, my ass.

I hate feeling all jumbled up like this. Throw me a bone people, please... just a little guidance through this minefield... I feel like everything I do is stepping on SOMEone's toes, or else if I worry about everyone else, i'm not true to myself and MY desires/needs...

And, I'm eating too much and getting fat, and I just found out I have a cavity! I almost cried!! Well not quite, but I am quite dismayed!

nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i guess i'll go eat worms...
[that's a children's song before anyone gets too worried.]

Blah...

Distractedly,
-Eeyore

[this post is huge, I apologize.]

Wow. What a weekend. Seems to have taken a lot out of me, as I am now in a funk. Crying for no reason (well, no legitimate reason)- and worse than that- I just turned down (actually, didn't even answer the phone) an invite to dinner at India Gate. What is wrong with me?! I LOVE India Gate! And it's like two steps from my house. And I never turn down an invite for anything! But I don't feel like doing anything. So instead I am eating leftover thai noodles in my bathrobe. Sometimes I wish I could communicate/interact with others better... Too often my sarcasm/attempt at wit blows up in my face and fucks everything up and I end up with my foot in my mouth, wondering what happened, fearing I have blown my chance, and not knowing how to repair things. Boys don't play games, my ass. But enough on that.

Initial goals for this weekend: pay bills, wade through ridiculous inbox, take down christmas tree!!!!, sleep a lot. Goals accomplished: zero. New goals for the remainder of today: lay on couch, ignore huge mess, be anti-social, eat bad-for-me snacks and watch grey's anatomy, sleep. Sorry (e:Paul)- would have liked to cheer you on at the Geek Meet, but I can't bring myself to move.

But before I forget- I have a question for any mac people out there- Any recs for DVD-copying software? I found one called Fast DVD Copy. It's very easy (one click), but I'm not so sure about the 'fast' part- I used my trial and copied one DVD- 244 minutes. I know it's not a fast process, and granted, i've been doing a bunch of other shit on the computer so the processor has to share, but still. And it's $100. But if there's nothing else out there, I will continue my hunt for free serial numbers and cracks.

Ok, and now for the weekend play-by-play, and the pix you've all been waiting for. ;)

Fri- easy. Spent 30hr at work.
Saturday: came home to a nice surprise- a Valentine's Day present from my Dad: Scooba- the floor-washing robot. Brother of Roomba, the vacuuming robot. (and cousin of Woomba, the SNL joke). How lazy-geek-cool is that? Especially considering that I have about 10 square feet of non-carpeted floor.
I was hoping to get a little work done, and get a nice nap in. Instead I did... god I have no idea what, but the time passed quickly. Then met (e:Ladycroft) at spot for Spottie watching and yummy drinks. Then we migrated to Bullfeather's to meet Jen for dinner. If you haven't been there, it's worth a try. They have a lot more than typical bar food- including pumpkin ravioli with sage cream sauce and walnuts, and thai peanut salmon. Yum. Then I stopped by Cole's to say hi to some friends. Invited them to the Peep Show. Got a weird look, and they said 'you mean the huge S&M party?' and I said 'ummm as far as I know it's a bunch of art installations with a love/sex theme in a hotel.' They replied "yeah- it's a huge S&M party" and declined my invite. Not deterred, I left them behind and continued on with my evening. Met back up with Jen and (e:Ladycroft) at CowPok, where I succumbed to peer pressure and my long-standing curiosity, (e:Ladycroft) had her nose pierced without flinching (it's cute, see pix), and Jen had her anterior helix done. A triumvirate of piercing!
Then, to the Peep Show ((e:Peep) Show??), where I met (e:Robin) (a pleasure), and (e:Mike), (finally!) and we found (e:imk2). What an adventure. We wore PJs and boozed it up in bed with (e:Robin), (e:PMT), and a bunch of strangers. (e:Theecarey) and (e:pyrcedgrrl) showed up too. We played with giant paper dolls. We did NOT have our tits put on pins. We saw some hot firemen threatening to strip down to their boxers. At least, (e:Paul) claims he saw them. I never did. I think he imagined them. We played in a weird video room with red umbrellas. We saw a guy in a wrestling outfit, holding a pink case, waiting for the porno auditions. And best of all, we saw (e:PMT) get (re)married in the church of Julie. :) I heart (e:Paul)/(e:PMT). While there, (e:ladycroft), (e:imk) and I felt the love and "married" (e:strip). (fitting, since it seems to have taken over my life lately.)
All in all, a lot of fun, and rather surreal.
Then we migrated to the Pink for a bit, where a guy with a 'hawk seemed to dig (e:ladycroft) and her new jewelry. Then to Towne. I ate a giant bacon and cheese omelet. Delicious, and (not so) Nutritious!
Then I came home and slept til noon...
Sunday: utterly wasted. The best way for a sunday to be.

Weekends are way too short. I'm sick of working all the time. I want a vacation.

Here are the pix: (not sure what's up with the freaky redeye, but it was too much for iPhoto to fix!)


The lovely (e:imk2)- Saluti!


Our hostess with the mostest, (e:Robin)


"What the hell is THAT?!" Paul likes it, Terry isn't sure, and Timika looks scared.


Fun with Paper Dolls begins- first, a saucy little french maid.


Look what the (e:peepettes) have been reduced to... (and it took Paul to remind us that the balls go on the bottom.)


Bring out the gimp!


Wonder if Cardboard Man will show up in dreams next...


The Red Umbrella room


(no comment)


You may now kiss the husbands... Congrats PMT!


Do you, peepettes, take (e:strip) to be your lawfully wedded website?


Is this the one I'm not supposed to post?


You may now kiss the.... piece of paper.


Timika and Yvonne at the Pink. [Note cute new nose ring.]


C'mon... you didn't really think I could post a set of party pix without the requisite shot of Timika and Alex, did you??


Or was THIS the one I wasn't supposed to post?


Time to go home...


By far the best pic of the evening. Actually looks like Buffalo Winter, too!

oh yeah- new user song. Good stuff. Check it out.

Later peeps.
-J