So... I like what I do. I really do. But sometimes it's hard to remember that. And I hate that I bitch about it so much, and I apologize. But my hours suck.... suck suck suck. I get one day off every week or two, and have to (or rather, should but don't) spend much of it sleeping. I haven't had a whole weekend off since may. I never even know these long weekend holidays occur until i get home and realize I didn't get any mail. Last night I was just thinking "wow... peeps are hardcore tonight! going out at midnight on a sunday!" totally didn't realize today was a day off.

But it sounds like I missed a good time at OPM last night, not to mention meeting new peeps... must say I think I'm a little jealous.

But we did make it to rochester for ethiopian, though I think I may have had (e:imk) fearing for her life a few times (sorry!). And (e:leetee), gotta say I disagree. I love the bread (injera). Yum yum. And it's all yummy and tasty and spicy... Mmm. Hope everyone's tummies were ok today! (my god, am I five? yummy? tummies? haha.)

And just some thoughts on this whole hotel business....
First off, I agree with uncut. He said what I was thinking, more or less, and put it more eloquently.
Now, my house is not in danger of being demolished. But, I am still only a couple blocks away from the proposed site.
I would like to read the hotel's side of the story. I feel dragonfire's version is very one-sided and colored by the fact that his house is in danger.
I don't want to see thriving local businesses torn down for the Gap and Starbucks. Don't get me wrong. I like my neighborhood. But I have to say that those houses are not really wonderful pillars of Elmwood history. And I'm not sure trying to make the area more 'upper-class' is necessarily such a terrible thing... I'm not saying bring the suburbs and chain stores downtown, but a swanky boutique, cafe, etc- that would be cool. And would probably contribute more to the local economy than a video shop... And no, I do not need a hotel since I live in the area. But that's the point of a hotel- for people who do NOT live in the are, am I wrong? So I think that argument is flawed logic...

Hmm. I think I will shut up. I don't know both sides of the story and thus should not go off on a rant about it. I don't like arguing points that I can't defend very well. And at the risk of voicing an unpopular opinion, it's just sort of sitting wrong with me to see (e:strip) used as a means to promote an agenda.

On that note,
later peeps.

-cranky jenks

So I was at work last night and we had to take a kid to the OR. And in the little holding area outside of the OR there's this machine that keeps all the drugs locked up. It's very tightly monitored. Usually before each case, the anesthesiologist goes and signs out all his drugs (morphine, fentanyl, versed- heavy duty stuff.) So last night I'm waiting for something, and next to the machine was a big pile of empty drug boxes. Not exactly something you see every day- so I took one. (** for the record, before you get all excited, it is just an EMPTY box**):



And issue two-
I've been craving ethiopian food for ages. I miss having a place locally. I guess there are two in rochester- Dashen and Abyssinia. And I suddenly want to go, like RIGHT NOW.
Anyone interested?
Check it out:

(Abyssinia)
(Dashen)

whew, not sure what came over me last night...
sorry for putting you all through that.
feeling back to myself today.

Boys don't suck.
I take it back.

So I might be a little drunky and a little buzzed, and it's a LOT past-my-bedtime since I need to be at work in like 4 hours, and I will probably regret this post in the AM and delete it, but what the fuck, this is 'my journal', right?

So (e:jason)'s post tonight (sorry, you'll have to look it up, I'm incapable of figuring out the link right now) plus some chat plus long talks with friends, have sent me through the gamut of emotions. Starting with 'poor jason'. That raw emotion just breaks my heart. It sucks, it hurts, I can feel it, and I wish I could help, but I fear only time can cure a broken heart. There are tons of people here for you bro. But YOU have to make the decision to actively try to feel better, then open your eyes and let them in... You're only alone if you let yourself be, and we can't help you unless you let us. Then talk turned to 'boys are confusing' 'no girls are confusing' 'men suck' 'no, women suck' etc etc. And then thoughts turned to sad and lonely and 'why doesn't anyone ever like me' depressing kind of shit. So yeah, thanks for that Jason! ;) I start out feeling bad for you and wanting to cheer you up, but I end up all depressed and sad, and needing cheering up myself (so what do I do? I drink beer. Strong work!)

But anyway, it got me thinking of the age-old topic. Yes, I know women can be hard to understand. I like to think that I, personally, am pretty much an open book. Perhaps to my detriment. I am super trusting, and loyal to a fault. And I can be totally gullible and naive when it comes to guys. Like, I actually think 'yeah I'll call you' actually MEANS 'i'll call you.' Silly me... Sure, sometimes it does mean that, but more often it means 'no way in hell will i call you, but I'm "afraid of hurting you" so I won't just tell you no- I'll lead you on for a while, and make it even worse."

And that is what I'm talking about... Guys like to claim that they are so easy to read and so straightforward- but that's so not true.... You play games with the best of 'em. I think the most common being the one above. I would SOOOOOOO much rather be hurt by the honest truth now, than deceived with lies and more hurt later... The "i think you're cool, but I just don't feel it" is so much better.... Yeah sure, no one wants to have to tell someone that. But they "yeah yeah we'll hang out next week" and then coming up with some excuse at the last second... that is so chicken-shit, and SO much worse.

Haha, I'm not really as bitter as this sounds.... I'm just sick of trying to interpret boys and their actions and non-actions.

[edited for content- personal details of current mini-semi-quasi-crush situation deleted. Gist of story- I'm not sure where things stand.]

So my rational side thinks it's probably a no, take the hint, move on.... But my emotional side can make so many excuses... didn't get the message, lost my number, etc etc etc. So I think 'ok, that's it. I've made my move. I'll just play it cool. See what happens, take no further action"

But I hate that. That even has the word 'play' in it and I am so not about "playing" any sort of BS games with people... I mean c'mon, we're adults here. Why can't we talk maturely about emotions? 'hey, you're cool. I think maybe I could like you." "awesome, i think you're cool too- let's hang out!" Or "yeah I'm just not feeling it, but thanks!"

That sort of honest communication could spare SO much heartache.... I try to be straightforward, and I just don't bet it back...
Such a bummer...
Yeah I could stand to lose a few pounds... But all in all, I'm a sane, down-to-earth, smart, funny, reasonably attractive chick. With a decent job and a decent head on my shoulders. I've got my shit together. I don't "need" a boy. But I'm always down with making new friends. And if something comes if it- great! And if it doesn't- that's fine too. No harm no foul. Never hurts to meet new people... I would do anything for my friends/family, without thinking twice. Just because I like to do things for people. I won't blow smoke up your ass, and all I want is for you do the same...

So why does that always backfire on me?
Guys claim they don't play games, they say they want a girl who doesn't. I don't, and it freaks people out. At least, something freaks 'em out. Maybe "straightforward" comes across as desperate? Which I'm so not...

Bah... it's past my bedtime. I'm not looking for you all to tell me how great I am, and stroke my ego. I *know* I'm a cool fuckin chick. ;)
I'm just venting my confusion, and wondering if anyone out there feels the same...

Ok. Thanks for listening. 'Night peeps.

-J

What the fuck is up with this town? Cancelling school for WIND? That is about the pussiest thing I have ever heard.

Work sucked today. Seems to happen on full moons... So I had to stay late, and miss tubing. But maybe it's a blessing in disguise... maybe I can finally take down my tree and get some sleep. (must say, I was relieved to see a tree on the curb this morning- at least I am not the only one!) Though what will probably actually happen is I will have a beer(s) and watch tv and still stay up too late.
I don't sleep enough. And I LOVE sleeping. But I hate missing out on things.
I have been known to answer the phone when sound asleep in bed, and then put on clothes and go out b/c a friend doesn't want to stay home, etc. I.e. my arm is very easy to twist. So every night I think "ok, staying in, nice quiet night, get some shit done, go to bed early" I end up getting a call and going out. See a movie, throw some darts, drink some beers, eat dinner, pull uninvited stop-by's at people's houses...
But it's worth it. Friends are cooler than sleep. :)

But on that note, I think I will go reheat some leftovers and watch Lost from the other day.

Have a good weekend kids!

-J

not to be a 'bitter-single-on-v-day-girl', but...

I thought I was over him...
Then saw him in the "who's checked me out" section on Friendster, and it made my heart skip a beat.
Damn you ex boyfriend!
I worked hard to get you out of my head, now stay out!

Bleh...

At least I have cupcakes. :)

So, since it's looking like my chances at food+drinks+sex for v-day are slim to none, I'm thinking the next best thing is food+drinks+friends. So I just wanted to send a little message to gauge interest in some sort of hanging-out-time tues night... Wine and cheese, popcorn and a DVD, whatever. Maybe even a pillowfight for (e:ajay). Not a 'bitter single girls bitch-session' thing- just quality time with cool peeps. I may be able to offer my place, depending on numbers... I won't get off til 6 or 7 (get off WORK that is, you cheeky monkeys)- but after that will be free.

Any takers?

-J

Grr, this is a redo after crashing, but here goes...

So last night we had a Girls' Night Out in honor of Yvonne/imk2 (who, for those of you who don't know her, is a knockout, and a Cool Chick. Fuck that ex! He's a loser and an idiot for letting her go). In attendence were (e:imk2), (e:ladycroft), (e:theecarey), (e:me), and non-(e:) Jen, Miranda, Julie, and Lynne. We went to Voelker's, which is a weird semi-seedy place. There is a bar up front, where it is very complicated to pay for your food, which the bartender orders over the phone. It is also non-smoking, except that you can smoke if you pay a dollar towards the fine. (I wonder if that's how the Pink gets around the rules too...) We were just about the only girls there, and apparently we were being leered at, though I am always oblivious, and was too busy eating my (bad) fries to notice. But we did come up with some story about this being our last night out before leaving for the convent, in an attempt to fend off one especially persistent little guy. Though I think the amount of collective cleavage showing tipped him off. But so then we moved to the actual lanes, where I was reminded of just how badly I suck at bowling. But I'm ok with that. We bowled, with varying degrees of success, drank beer, and garnered some gawks as we posed for pix.
Then it was off to OPM lounge, where we did NOT find PMT. But the beats were kickin' so we shook our rumps for a while...

And without further ado, the pictorial evidence:


(hot!)


Jen, who does a cute little "go that way go that way!" dance.


"ONE! One lousy pin?! But I have mad skillz! Damn you bowling gods!!"


Nice jugs, ladies.


Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!


(How could I resist?)


How come everyone else can make a good "off to the convent" angelic smile, and all I can muster is that stupid face? bleh!


less angelic?


Yes, that is the shocker in Carey's crotch.


That guy was not the intended subject of my pic. But look how happy he is!


Looking pretty for the camera one last time, before getting hauled off in the squad car behind us.


Smokin' hot. Literally.

So I had lunch with one of my kick-ass med students today. He's such a nice guy... And helpful... I wish all students could be this good. And his english is fantastic, but he's not american, so once in a while we confuse him.

But anyway so later we were in the ER and this girl was telling someone about how her boyfriend broke up with her b/c he 'fell for her too fast and didn't want a relationship'. Then gave her a ring and dumped her. Huh? Not sure I buy it. But anyway, so then she yelled at Michal, going 'hey you! What's wrong with guys? will you explain it to me? Why are they all assholes!' Poor guy was a little bewildered... like 'i'm not an asshole... don't ask me to speak for everyone!'

Then she started talking, overly loudly, to someone about how 'I just took the bandage off, even though it's only been an hour since it was done and they said to leave it on, do you think it's ok?' she obviously has a new tattoo and wants everyone to know. I wasn't biting. But Michal, good little med student, was like 'bandage? are you ok?' and she goes "yeah.... I just got a tattoo!" and since she was staring at me, i asked disinterestedly, "oh... what did you get?" and she said 'gizmo' and I said "like the gremlin?" and she got all snotty, and said "no... gizmo the dragon. Of course the gremlin! what other gizmos are there?" Oh... excuse me. Just that that movie is from what, 1983? Not exactly a current fad. Don't get me wrong. I think cool tattoos can look awesome. But I do not think flash/cartoon tattoos are cool tattoos.

God, am I a total bitch or what? Sorry for the rant...

as far as V-day- must say I agree with Josh on this one. Dinner+drinks+sex=all I could want. Better yet if it's with someone I dig. Not so into the one-night random thing, just for the sake of booty.

and I leave you with some jokes, courtesy of Laffy Taffy (my dinner)-
What is the best way to keep water from running?
Don't pay the bill.
(Hilarious!)

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday- the rest are weekdays! (ha, I actually thought that one was cute.)

-Jenks

P.S. Who the fuck is Nicholas Picholas? Is he like some Buffalo celebrity I should be aware of? There are signs all over the hospital for "LIVE! From the Fisher Price playroom! Janet Snyder and Nicholas Picholas!" (for the 98.5 kids' kare-a-thon or something like that.)
I dunno about you peeps, but if my last name were Picholas, I would not name my kid Nicholas. And if my name was Joe Smith and I was trying to think of a cool name to use on the air, I don't think I would choose Nicholas Picholas. But that's just me...

Ok, I have too many pix to put into a post, so you'll have to check out a link.
(This is the first time I've used this new web-publishing program- must say I think the slideshow is kinda slick!)

Enjoy!



Ok, and here's something else I haven't tried, so let me know if it works.
I have the pix "photocasted" from iPhoto. Which means any mac people can 'subscribe' to the folder and access all the original, full-size photos (the catch is that you need the new version of iphoto). Supposedly windows peeps can too, as long as you have a browser that can do RSS. I'd be curious to know if it works for you. the login and password are both estrip. Here's the link....