So this adorable girl, excuse me woman, that I work with is like 7mo pregnant. And she's complaining about feeling fat and clothes not fitting etc. (but she has the cutest little maternity outfits! she looks awesome!) And she said that she watched some VH1 countdown or something, of the top 100 fashion don'ts, and number one was (drum roll)- visible panty lines. And she's so distraught by it. And I just thought-
Huh?
Apparently that is a worse sin than a mullet, or sandals and socks. Or hammer pants. Or gold teeth. Apparently it's worse than EVERYTHING. I'm dumbfounded.
What do you guys think?
Personally, I don't really get the big deal.
So you can tell I'm wearing underwear. Big fucking deal! I would hope I'm wearing underwear... i mean i understand not wearing painted-on-tight pants if you have a cottage-cheese ass, but that's just common decency. Some people love 'em, but I think thongs are uncomfortable. And I heard someone describe them as a 'germ escalator' once... tracking the germs from your ass to the nether regions. Not good. (sorry, that was gross.) Hmm, maybe that can be my research project... do women who wear thongs have a higher rate of UTIs.
But, since I am told that they are "sexy" and that it's "bad" to be able to see my underwear, I do suffer the old ass-floss once in a while.

and that got me thinking of clothes and fashion...
God, my kids are going to hate me. I don't know how I got to be such an old fart, but I am so super-conservative when it comes to a lot of kids' stuff. I do not think babies should have their ears pierced. I do not think little girls should wear bikinis. (it's so dumb! they have nothing to hold them in place! half the time they spin around and their nips are hanging out anyway! when my sis and i were little, we just wore bottoms and no tops.) I do not think babies should wear shoes- until they know how to walk. They're unnecessary, and bad for your feet. They may look cute, but microscopic air jordans and timberland boots are so dumb... My kids are going to be in 100% cotton, cute little clothes. onesies. oshkosh. Dressed like babies, not little hookers. My daughters are not going to wear belly shirts and platform shoes; i don't care if 'everyone else is'. Haha, my mom is probably lucky we were such dorks and let her dress us for so long...

And then THAT got me thinking about kids in general...
I am almost 30. I guess I could raise a kid. But I don't really feel super-prepared. I mean I want kids, someday, but now is not the right time. And then I realized- if I, who have an education and a stable job and a supportive social network etc, (and there would of course be a husband in the picture too if I was thinking kids) do not feel totally 'qualified' to raise a baby, then who the hell is? The CHOB is really getting to me... 14 year olds with gonorrhea... 16 year olds who come in with abdominal pain- only to find out they're pregnant... i have a baby now who was born in a bathroom stall in the ER. Mom was having pain, had no idea she was even pregnant, let along in fucking LABOR, so she went to the ER, and thought she'd feel better if she just went to the bathroom- and had a baby! She's 19. I swear! this is not on tv! Once i had a kid whose mom was just sick of being pregnant, and she'd heard that crack can induce labor. so she smoked some. and indeed, went into labor. much too early. and the baby is a disaster. not quite brain-dead, but 'neurologically devastated' as we put it. And we have so many sick sick babies now who are practically neglected... their moms never come to visit (and dads are not in the picture, of course) we call the moms day after day... ask them to come visit... to come learn how to feed their kids... and they don't. If they DO come in (when we threaten CPS), they don't hold them, don't bond with them... it's terrible. I think they just sort of want to leave them in the hospital and not come back. But then they do come back, because they realize they can get more in their welfare check if they have a kid. It's so horrible. I used to joke about it, but now I'm seriously starting to think people should have to pay a fee or pass some kind of test or something to be able to reproduce. Oh go ahead and flame away, but seriously. You need a license to get married, why not to bring another life into the world??

Ok I will stop before I get all worked up...

Time for a nap.
Work was hell last night.

Hope to see some of you peeps out tonight!

A

So this morning I got to work and went up to our call room... and there were 3 guys there, my co-residents and one of the med students. As I walk in, the student has his pants off in the hall, changing into scrubs. I immediately step back and shut the door but he says it's ok, to come back (because I kind of did have to get in to get stuff for work). So then two minutes later, one of the other guys drops trou... (this happens to be work crush #2, too, so I don't really mind looking.) I didn't know if I should leave or what... I mean there was a bathroom like 2 feet away that he could have gone to, so I guess he didn't care. But seeing a guy in boxers and an undershirt is not that scandalous, and is not the same as if i stripped down to bra and skivvies in front of them. I kicked them all out when I changed. I think maybe they were hoping I'd follow their lead, but I'm not quite ready for that...

So then later we're in the OR... And there are a bunch of people there. The attending, the fellow (both guys), me, the scrub tech, a couple other nurses, anesthesia x2, etc etc. And then some (cute, young) girl comes in, and she's chatting away, and then says to the boss (who is a huge, bald, (married), POMPOUS guy who wears a fucking UnderArmour cap in the OR, apparently he is too good for the blue paper ones)- "OMG Dr __ I loove underarmour! that's so cool!" then she went on about how underarmour has gone public, and they have a lingerie line now. I said "underarmour makes lingerie?" and she said "yeah, bras, and not just like sports bras! and underwear! my friend has some yada yada yada" then she giggles and leaves. And dr __ makes some crack about how is supposed to get that image out of his head or something.

then we work away for a while. in a bit she comes back b/c she needs a key, and she asks where it is, and dr __ says he has it. And she asks where, and he fucking SHAKES HIS ASS at her. So she laughs nervously and approaches him from the back to get the key. Mind you, we are all scrubbed, which means wearing sterile gowns and gloves and all that. We cannot touch anything unsterile. So she has to reach up under his gown to find the key. And she has to fumble around and ask which pocket. Dr __ was in heaven. he was rolling his eyes... after she left he kind of shook his head, pretending to be all flustered... Gross.

Surgery is known for being quite the Old Boys Club, and surgeons are notorious for being assholes. So I am used to being patronized and belittled. And I'm fine with all the jokes etc, but this was kind of gross. Maybe it's just b/c i think he's so gross.

bleh, left an icky taste in my mouth.

And speaking of yucky taste. I am feeling the twinges of a sore throat.
You've got to be kidding me. If I get sick AGAIN, I will scream. I have never ever ever in my life been sick this much! I'm barely over the last one... Maybe my body is trying to tell me that 3-4 hr sleep per night is not cutting it.
So I'm dosing up on advil and cold-eeze and hoping it's gone in the AM.

Not too much to say lately, which is unusual for me. (haha, it's been what, two days since I posted? Feels like ages)

My pre-exam caffeine/insomnia buzz seems to be clearing (though not due to catching up on sleep- I still dozed off in conference this morning despite my best efforts (coffee, gum-chewing [i typed cum-chewing at first. Hmm. where is my mind], arm-pinching), and I don't feel very sharp or insightful. Usually my mind is full of dumb little "oh my god I can't wait to tell so-and-so about this!" moments. And you, estrip, have been so-and-so lately. Much to the relief of my friends, I'm sure- they get a break from being subjected to all my ridiculous "stories"-ha.

But I must say I am pretty stoked right now. Got a random call at like 9:30 this morning, but I was at work and couldn't answer. Checked my messages later- it was none other than my favorite local rock star [come to think of it, i'm shocked he was up at that hour!]- inviting me out to dinner. Granted he's just a friend, and I think he's seeing someone, and he's inviting me along with a group, so this is not like a romantic date, but he's fucking hot (and ok, maybe i have a teeny tiny (ahemhuge) crush), and so it still made my heart skip a beat to even get the call. I hadn't heard from him in months. So woohoo, I'm pretty psyched about that. Maybe the 'ignore him and don't call for a month' strategy actually works...

Hmm. Maybe I should stop wearing my heart on my sleeve and actually telling people how I feel. Maybe I SHOULD play 'hard-to-get' like "they" always say to... What do you all think? God knows my old ways don't work so well.

Just kidding. Despite my track record, I just don't have it in me to turn all digger and start playing bullshit games. Call me naive... but I know there's someone out there, (i mean there has to be! look at me! i'm adorable! I'm a catch! (my mom says so!)) and I'll only find him when I'm not trying. Unfortunately, that doesn't keep me from trying. If only I could listen to my own advice...

So I'm not sure if it's great or pathetic that something as simple as a call can make my day (hell, my week!), but I'm not going to analyze. At least, I won't over analyze... well, I'll try not to... ha.

(but take note guys; it's THAT easy to make us (at least me) happy.)

la di da... I will go float along on my cloud now. Try to do some laundry and clean up this disaster area that I call a house.

Catch you later peeps!

A

Ahhhh, just got back from a long leisurely stint at spot. And Holy Peep Sighting, Batman! I think we counted seven... Myself, (e:ladycroft), (e:theecarey), (e:joshua), (e:jason), (e:salvatore) and (e:decoyisryan). Whew!

And I even have photographic evidence that the mythical Larson brothers do indeed exist: (pleasure meeting you, boys. We'll have to do it again.)









I'm starting to see a trend in Jason's expression...




yeah and for some reason Sal and Ladycroft are totally out of focus...

You know, this place is great.

I love being around mature adults who can argue and disagree but still be friends and respect each other...

I was kind of nervous after posting some of what I wrote about religion etc, thinking 'oh boy what if I offended people'. And then came back to see the debate that ensued...

Maybe I did offend people. But that doesn't mean they hate me.

And I felt a little comforted to think that even if Jason and Ajay are going at it, it's still a civil debate. (For the most part...) ;)

And I like that I don't have to be afraid to say 'no, I don't believe in god." I know most people do believe, and I'm in the minority, and I usually don't bother telling people because I don't want a lecture.

I dunno, this is rambly and I'm not sure I'm getting my point across.
But what I'm trying to say is thanks everyone. :)
It's nice to be around people who can debate like adults and not have it turn into a hissy fit- even when they disgree 100%, it doesn't become a personal thing.

aww shucks.
Warm fuzzies.
I think I'm gonna cry....

Ok.... thank god that is finally over with. Until next year.
I think it went better than last year, but i hope better-enough to improve on last year's pathetic performance.
There was a lot of stuff on there that I wasn't sure about, but that I knew I had seen studying- the kind of stuff that would have been a gimme if I'd prepared better.
Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now, so I'm not going to stress.

Now I can finally stop thinking about it, and try to enjoy myself a little...

But on my way back I was behind a crappy old beater of a car with a bumper sticker that said 'stay back 300 feet. LIBERAL ELITE on board.' I wanted to ram him.

Ok, shower time, and maybe even a disco nap before I go to work.

Later peeps. It's a beautiful day out there, enjoy your weekend!

A

(I started this as a comment, but it got way too long.)

Oy, this is a huge topic... But I think valid points can be made on both sides.
I don't believe in God just b/c I think it's a bunch of impossible crap. (hell I'm a scientist.) Some big mysterious force that made the universe in a few days? Bullshit. Immaculate conception? Bullshit. Resurrection from the dead? Bullshit. Heaven/hell? bunch of crap. Turning water into wine, no way. and on and on and on. Yeah yeah I know, the Bible isn't meant to be taken so LITERALLY, it's all in the translation, etc. Maybe. But I think the majority of people out there who do believe the bible, believe it literally. I have a problem with organized religion in most incarnations because it brainwashes people... it makes excuses. it justifies things. and punishes other things.

That said, it is maybe a little scary to think that maybe we really ARE all that there is. I mean I'm ok with it, but I think for many people it's comforting to believe in SOME sort of "higher power"- just to think and hope that maybe there's a point to it all.

So religion to some degree is fine with me. If it gives people comfort to have something to believe in, if it helps them cope with hard times, that's great. I think that's what it's meant for. If it helps them cope with things that are just too cruel to imagine otherwise (loss of child, etc)- great. Good for them. And I think most major organized religions are founded on a set of 'rules to live by'. Thou shalt not kill, etc. Most of which are pretty good advice.

Believe what you want, I couldn't care less- as long as (this is the key)- you don't force it on me. My problem comes when religion (or atheism even) is taken to either extreme- the zealots and fanatics.
The obvious extreme is war.... annihilating whole countries/societies/cultures because they don't believe in your God? How fucking stupid is that??
Fine, you believe "murdering babies" is "against the bible". Then don't have an abortion. that's your choice. But don't you dare try to tell me what I can do! And what is mind-boggling is when abortion clinics are blown up. It's not ok to "kill" a bunch of non-viable cells (that are most likely destined to a crappy life since they are unwanted)- but it's just fine to blow up a building containing a bunch of productive adults because you don't like what they do? WHAT?
You think evolution is bullshit? Fine. But don't tell me I can't let my kid learn it in school.
You think it's wrong that I use birth control? Fine, then you can raise my unwanted kids. You think I'm a sinner because i'm not married and I've had sex? all I can say to that is I feel sorry for you, you're missing out. haha.

I don't like FORCING people to believe things. I don't like the concept of "god-fearing". The whole catholic guilt thing. And jewish guilt. And making muslim women cover their faces... a lot of it just isn't decent... It's counterproductive.

I could go on forever, but I'll try to reel it in... I think the bottom line is that religion, like anything else- has to be done in moderation. If it's not for you, great. Yeah, I kind of laugh at people who believe all that god/miracle crap- but whatever. If it makes you feel good, if it makes you treat your fellow man better- it's no skin off my back if you want to go to church. Even I can see the pleasure in sitting in a cool dark stone building and hearing some music once in a while...

All I'm really trying to say is- can't we all just love each other? And sing and dance and hug and kiss and play in the flowers with the angels and unicorns? ;)

Come join the church of alex.
The main tenets-
Be a good person. (i.e. don't kill, rape, steal, etc).
Respect each other- even if you disagree.
Enjoy yourself.
If you fuck up or hurt someone, say sorry.
If someone hurts you but apologizes- move on.

Didn't we all learn this in first grade?
"do unto others as you would have others do unto you?"
It's pretty simple.

Not that most people are insomniacs by choice...
But right now I feel like the opposite- I think most insomniacs WANT to sleep, they TRY to sleep, but they CAN'T. (correct me if I'm wrong.)
But right now I DON'T want to sleep (can't afford to, not enough hours left in the the day), and I would be asleep before my head hit the pillow if I lay down, but I have to fight it.
I slept about 2 hours on wednesday (i was on call), and about 5 yesterday. i can barely keep my eyes open, but I fear that I will have to pull the old all-nighter tonight. Which scares me. If my brain is mush now, (i was RETARDED at work today- at one point I thought they were going to send me home [which would have been fantastic]), I don't want to imagine what it's going to be like tomorrow for my test. :( scary. Then unfortunately I have to go straight to work from the test, and stay awake until probably noon on sunday. So 7 hrs of sleep for wed-sun? Man that sucks.

But I really shouldn't complain, since it's totally my own damn fault.
(though I blame work, being sick, the ex, and estrip for my lack of focus lately.) ;)
Fortunately I tend to work well under pressure- we'll see if that's enough to save my ass this time. I wish I wasn't such a procrastinatrix extroadinaire. (though actually I love it. And so I have to pay the price once in a while)

Ok kids, over and out. Time to lock up the computer, put on the coffee, and get to work...
Wish me luck!
(and if you catch me on here tonight, kick my ass!)

God sunday morning can't come fast enough!
Then I can drink and procrastinate and hang out with people again to my heart's content without feeling guilty about it.

Ok, so work fucking blew yesterday. People are being weird and bitchy and high-schoolish. Whispering to each other, excluding people... god it was miserable. I spent the whole day running around two steps out of sync, and then getting yelled at for either not knowing what they refused to tell me, or for not telling them things, when in fact I tried a million times but they wouldn't listen. Aren't we too old for this? Then they were punishing me or something this morning (why I have no clue) and dumping work on me so I stayed like 4 hours late and didn't get home til 1 today.

Ok, sorry for the vent. Point is that all day long I kept thinking of little things to post, but never had a chance to, so I made a list. So here's a whole hodgepodge of crap.

First, a link for (e:Joshua) about the "classic" vs "modern" Hippocratic oath. Pretty interesting. Especially the part about considering "he" that taught me medicine as my father, and taking care of his children like my own, and teaching them all I know for free. And the part about not doing abortions. And the fact that "first do no harm" is nowhere in the thing.


And for (e:metalpeter)- when I walked into work yesterday I noticed a little autographed "Briere #48" stat card on the desk... I guess since he's injured and not playing he watched the game from the hospital, and one of my patients was on tv with him. (and my coworker chilled with him all night too. Said he's a cool guy. But short.) Since I don't know shit about (pro) hockey, and really couldn't care less, I had no idea who he was. (kind of funny, since I actually PLAYED hockey for 3yr in high school. (I was terrible.))

As I spent practically an hour scouring the cold medicine aisle at walgreen's the other day, I stumbled into the candy aisle- my god it is valentine's hell in there. All the red heart boxes... it was suffocating.

For the record- I have the worst med student of all time these days. He's awful. I am saying that here since I don't have the heart to tell him. He's useless! I mean even the less-than-genius ones are ok if they show (or at least fake) SOME interest, and TRY, but this guy just zones out and walks off and checks espn.com. Doesn't even pretend to try to help or want to learn. Oy. It's miserable. He is going to get eaten alive at ECMC next month.

Saw something weird in the elevator yesterday- a guy with really fat EARS. I mean he was a big guy, but in like a "65 year old grandpa with a gut" kind of fat way. But he just had these crazy fat earlobes... I couldn't stop staring. Bizarre. I kept thinking he could use some ear liposuction, and then how insane an idea that was. (almost as bad as vaginaplasty- which my friend (dog work crush #2 in fact) insists is a great idea, because 'no one wants a girl with mud flaps.' That's nice imagery.)

Ok, so I mentioned that work was a fucking soap opera yesterday. Everyone whispering and/or pissed off. The nurses were like 'oh... is THAT what they're all mad about?" and I had no idea what/who they were talking about, it totally spiraled into mass confusion. Til some (black) parents walked out all pissy, and Tasha (who is black) had to go try to pacify them. Afterwards someone asked "Tasha, what was that all about?" and she said "you wouldn't understand. It's a black thing." People were understandably a little offended that she would say that. I mean it's 2006 peeps. We've all had our PC sensitivity training bullshit. So some nurses were like "what do you mean we wouldn't understand?!" and Tasha said "well, like if they said 'where's the shiznit they gave us yesterday that worked so much better?' you wouldn't know what they meant." Oh.... Right.... Shiznit is secret black code that NO white person could ever possibly crack. STUPID!

Who the fuck decided to make sodium free saltines? They're called SALTines people!! The one food staple I can find in the hospital is "salt"ines, and soda- either diet ginger ale, or caffeine free coke. What a mean joke. Makes for a terrible "dinner".

So I think I will obstruct a little justice today...
Just got a weird email- I guess I have an efax number. Didn't even know it. But I just got an email of a fax that came to it. Wrong number, obviously. But it was from a personal injury firm, to a hospital requesting the records of a woman named Charlemagne (I shit you not), in her case of the 'slip and fall.'
Ooooh I am SO not helping Charlemagne weasel wegmans out of money because she walked where it said "warning, slippery" and fell. (no idea what the case actually is.)
There are not many people I respect LESS than personal injury lawyers. But I will check myself there on that topic and move on.

And finally, to follow up the PBS (priapism) talk I had with (e:josh), here's a little info from my handy palm pilot:

Basics:
-Description: painful and/or abnormally prolonged penile erection [as opposed to what kind of erection??]
-Age: young adult
-Sex: male only [haha, DUH]
-Risk factors: dehydration, sickle cell disease (>85% of black kids with priapism will have sickle cell!)
-Possible complications: impotence (doh!!)
-Expected course: Even with excellent treatment detumescence may require SEVERAL WEEKS. Impotence is likely.

Causes:
-meds injected into Johnson (never a good idea)
-prolonged sexual activity
(other boring things)

Diagnosis:
-physical examination (gee...)

Treatment:
-reassurance
-anesthesia
-hydration
-pain relief
-sucking the blood out with needles

Prevention:
-avoid dehydration
-avoid excessive sexual stimulation
-avoid causative drugs

Ok, I think I'm finally done.
My apologies if that sounded like a bad stand-up routine. "I mean what's the deal with fat ears!! Right people?? and don't get me started on saltines!"- sorry.

Oy...
Must study.

To anyone that actually read this all- thanks. I'm impressed you put up with my blathering.

And to (e:larsonbros)- the coffee invites are about to run out if you don't accept one soon. Just a heads up that I'm about to leave it all up to you if you keep rejecting me!
Just kidding. Sort of. Love you mystery boys. Kiss kiss.

Good things about spot tonight-
1: the hot guy working there who was very nice and complimented me on my necklace, and gave me a free cookie on round 2. (he loves me. I know it.)
2: finally did a little studying
3: yummy drinks/food
4: stalking (e:mike) without his (or even my) knowledge. (sorry (e:mike). I wasn't sure enough it was you to say hi. But I was in the purple sweater. Hi!)
5: seeing a friend from work.

Bad things about spot tonight-
1: conspicuous absence of unnamed twin(s) despite near-bribery with cough drops.
2: lack of seating due to 8-person tables being "taken" by two people.
3: did not do enough studying
4: (e:Salvatore) did not say hello.
5: impending loss of sanity as I started to wonder if every person who walked through the door was from (e:strip) and I just couldn't recognize them.

Though 1 & 4 may not be all bad, as they would have worsened 3

Since this is starting to sound like a word problem, I will stop.