So once in a while (generally when I have more important things that I should be doing, like now), I like to think about my skills, etc. What am I good at, what do I have to offer, what am I horrible at [answer: boys]? And I've decided that some things, generally considered negative traits, may actually be talents.
For example: procrastination.
I have finely tuned my keen ability to waste time, and have turned it into almost an art form.
I have just successfully wasted my whole two weeks of vacation. As always, I took books home with me, with the noble intent to study. Did I? Not a lick. But the dogs NEEDED to be played with. A lot. Every day. My sister and her new husband NEEDED me to drink beer with them. I mean really- that would be rude to say no! Those emails from my ex: they NEEDED to be read and re-read and analyzed and cried over, and then responses composed that will forever sit in the Draft folder. That's fun! And that first season of Lost, all 25 episodes- well that REALLY needed to be watched. Because honestly- if I haven't watched the first season, I can't watch the second season, and if I don't hurry up and watch the second season, my Tivo will be full and will start self-deleting things like Arrested Development, Nip/Tuck, and Gray's Anatomy. And that would not be good... (I am also especially good at rationalizing ridiculous things.)
So I thought I would come back to Buffalo on monday, but my parents bribed me into staying longer (by feeding me and buying me things). So I came back with only 3 full days left to myself. But that's LOTS of studying time. I mean, the test isn't until the end of january... no need to give myself an ulcer over it yet (even though it is probably the single most important determinant of my future career). So what did I do with my three days?
Waste time on the computer seeing if I could get my webcam (that I have never really used or cared about before) to broadcast online (because so many people care what my bookshelf looks like). Rip my CD collection into MP3s. Read craigslist. Check out my brother's skanky friends on myspace. Stay up too late. Drink FAR too much, which thus required spending the whole of yesterday in bed, afraid to roll over or answer the phone for fear of bringing back the pounding in my head. And then going to "pick up my car" that I had left downtown due to massive drunkenness, which turned into several more drinks. But really, my friends had missed me, they needed me to regale them with fascinating tales of dog-playing and beer-drinking and lost-watching.
So today... today was REALLY the day to study a lot. So I got up "early". Made coffee. Unpacked from vacation. Watched tv. Checked out myspace. Chatted with my friend in australia. Decided it was time to deal with the pile of laundry that covered my bedroom floor up to my knees. (why do I hate folding sheets so much?? That task was quickly abandoned in favor of doing dishes.) And of course, what better day to decide I need a blog. I never even got around to my other near-patented skill: fake studying. Fake studying involves laying out lots of books and notes and pens and highlighters, then making snacks/coffee/tea during many "breaks". To the point that it looks like i'm studying, but at the end of my designated study time, I have read about three pages. Whenever crunch time comes near, suddenly I invent all sorts of things I need to. Things i usually hate, like laundry and grocery shopping are suddenly very appealing. I suddenly feel urges to rearrange my underwear drawer and balance my checkbook.

So now it's nearly my should-be-bedtime. (but I'm sure I won't go to bed til 1). I have done nothing I should have, and tomorrow I have to start getting up at 4:30 again, and working 30 hour shifts and fun stuff like that.

But hell, that's what vacation is for, right?

But I think the real art to my procrastination is that I have learned to postpone negative feelings. Running late, stuck in traffic, going to be totally late for work? Don't get pissed... nothing you can do about it. It's out of your control. Enjoy the traffic and the music and don't worry about the shitstorm at work until you get there. Consciously did something you shouldn't have? Well don't let the guilt ruin the moment... Might as well at least enjoy your misbehavior, let SOME good come out of it...

Yep, that's me. Master Procrastinator. If anyone wants lessons, I'm sure everything else I should be doing can wait.

Good night.

p.s. hi (e:lilho) from the bathroom line. :)