Sigh... so I'm back. Thanks for all the birthday wishes!

So my trip was great. The cruise was just about what I imagined it to be- both the good and the bad.

For once, travel went smoothly. And in the airport in New Orleans, I got in line to get a shuttle from the airport to the cruise ship dock, and noticed the two girls in front of me were going too, so I said hi, and right there I had new best friends. :) They were a group of 5 women there celebrating a friend's 40th birthday, and they were looking for a sixth, so I was adopted. Which was great luck, because first- they were totally fun, and second, it alleviated a lot of the 'on vacation alone' anxiety. I was the baby of the group by about ten years, but it totally didn't matter- some of these women were a lot wilder than I am! They were all 40ish, 4 had kids, 3 are married, and two are divorced. And, when I saw the alternatives for potential friends- it was a lot of Chippewa looking girls just hanging on the buff tan college dudes- not my scene.

But so I had a few hours to kill before boarding, and I was hoping to check out New Orleans a little bit, since I haven't been back since Katrina, but once the Carnival behemoth sucked me in, there was no going back.

We got on the bus from the airport, and the driver said that if no one minded, she wanted to take a little detour and show us where the 17th stree levee broke. God... it was very eye-opening and depressing. She drove us through lakeview, which is one of the neighborhoods that was flooded- but not nearly as badly as some of the other areas (that we didn't see). There are a LOT of gutted, trashed houses still standing. And, a lot NOT standing. And some new builds going up. Lots of lots for sale- dirt cheap, because no one will insure them any more. You could still see water lines, up at the second story windows sometimes. All the houses had a big X spray-painted on them, from when the military had to search all homes for bodies, etc. There was code on them about what they found. I didn't see any that had bodies- but a few had "one cat" painted on them. Lots of houses had these white FEMA trailers in the yard- families of 6 have been living in these trailers for almost 2 years now- many don't expect to ever move out. Apparently there's a FEMA trailer park in Biloxi of 40 THOUSAND trailers- and most of the people see it as their new permanent home. The city wants to tear down the abandoned houses if the owners don't come back. And some owners don't want to come back, so that's fine- but some DO, but just CAN'T. There are "houses demolished- CHEAP!" flyers on the telephone poles- a whole new industry has sprung up. And the break in the levee itself- you can see where it's being repaired- it's a MILE wide. Wow. So I'm really glad I got to see that. Because the tourists come to New Orleans, see the French Quarter, see that it's fine [it was never really hit], and assume the city is fine. Which it is not.

So then we got to the ship... Yeah... that's a big ol' boat. But within five minutes of boarding, I had a drink with an umbrella, and a deck chair. My entire goal for the trip, met within minutes. ;) Of course, I didn't have my bag yet, so I was in jeans, and didn't have any sunscreen. I think I was buzzed and sunburned within an hour of arriving. ;)

Later that night I guess the other women met this group of guys... I found them later, and they introduced me to two of them. One of whom thumb-wrestled me, and (I say) let me win, but the whole rest of the trip kept saying he couldn't believe I beat him.

Then the next day by the pool, I noticed a guy on a balcony wearing a Tulane tshirt, and thought he was kinda cute and looked nice... but I wasn't going to do anything about it... well next thing I knew he was sitting with us- apparently he was the third friend of the guys they'd met the night before. This guy, S, was a RIOT.

So, we spent our mornings in the sun trying to sleep off hangovers, then eating too much for lunch, then eventually getting ready for dinner, which was at the geriatric time of 5:45. Then we spent the nights drinking our faces off. Actually, I didn't drink all that much. I was pretty good.

During our days in port, we had all booked our excusions in advance, so we weren't together. The first day I went to the ruins of the Mayan city Chacchoben in Costa Maya... WOW. It was really fascinating. Made me realize I knew NOTHING about it. I just figured 'oh yeah, gotta see the mayan temple" and just had an image of those stepped pyramids. But the guide taught us so much stuff about their mythology etc- it's really amazing. For example- they don't just use archaeologists to find/restore the cities- they use archae-astronomers. Because apparently buildings in mayan cities are built according to constellations. So the city I was at- they found two, and then astronomers compared them to star charts, and realized the city was based on Orion, and then they found a bunch of other structures right where they should be. I mean, how cool is that?! And the temples are built so that on a certain important day (summer solstice, etc) the sun comes through a little hole and lights up in a way that the common people think is the gods giving them a sign- and it means plant/harvest your crops, etc. So amazing.

And the other day, at cozumel, I went to some little private island where they served us an awesome lunch and open bar... it was beautiful. And I met this great gay couple who run a bed and breakfast in Vermont and were there celebrating their 18th anniversary. They were adorable...

But so both times I got back to the ship, only to find everyone else had had some sort of wild adventures on booze cruises and beach parties. At one of these, S's alter-ego, "Kevin" was invented. They had me going for a while... I thought Kevin was some friend they met b/c they kept saying how fun he was... Well Kevin was two eyes drawn on S's fist. That was all. Yet somehow Kevin was endlessly entertaining.

One other topic to address... when I told people I was going on this trip, many people's FIRST comment was 'I hope you're taking a lot of condoms!'. And my first thought was "what kind of girl do these people think I am?" and the next thought was "and is there something about cruises I'm missing?" Sure, I wondered if I would meet some amazing guy... but I certainly wasn't expecting it, and it wasn't the point of my trip. And I did meet people... and there were some chances to hook up... like one night, one of the [married] women (who was making out with 22 year-olds left and right) told me 'now is your chance! He's really drunk! Go for it already!" And it just made me realize- that is not what I want... some random makeout session with someone so drunk he won't remember it... I've realized lately that sex is just infinitely better when it's not random... when it's with someone you care about... that cares about you... and it's almost not worth it otherwise. So, even though I'm not (really) seeing anyone, and it wouldn't be a matter of 'cheating'- I just found I didn't want to.

Who knows... call me a prude... but I was pretty horrified to see these married women carrying on like this. But, who am I to judge, I guess.... Vegas rules applied. At first I was so naïve about it... this one woman was flirting with this guy all night, and I just kept thinking 'she's married! What is she doing?' I almost felt like I needed to tell the guy 'you know she's married, right?' Then it dawned on me that everyone knew exactly what they were doing, and I needed to just stay out of it. No one was hurting me... I'd just leave them alone. But I certainly never thought that I would be the conservative one of the group.... And I just think cheating is unacceptable. Period.

Then the last night we went to dinner then the bars, per the usual routine... But we had to pack our bags and set them out the night before, so we were living out of carry-ons. And we all thought we'd go to bed early since we had to get up early to leave in the morning... But then it was midnight and I had to do birthday shots... And I chose SoCo and lime- which everyone but me hated, apparently, so I felt bad that one guy bought this round of like 10 shots and no one was drinking them... so I think I had four... And since these guys were Texans, tequila shots were always inevitable. And they had the band sing me happy birthday... and their version had an added second verse, which went "we all hope you get some tonight." But so then finally things were winding down, and people started going to bed... and one of the guys asked if I wanted to go somewhere quiet to talk. I thought 'heh, I've heard that line before'- but we really did just go talk. On the bow of the boat, as we were pulling in to the Mississippi river and you could start to see lights coming up... And the wind in our hair... It really was pretty spectacular. And we just talked and talked about all sorts of stuff. (what? Me? talk?!) Really, an interesting, charming guy. But not at ALL in an "I want to get in your pants" kind of way- he really was just genuinely kind and liked getting to know people. So he walked me to my room and was a perfect gentleman and said goodnight and that was that. And it was 4am.

It was a nice way to end the trip... until, of course, two hours later when it was time to get up. Ouch.

So I got off the ship, got my bags through customs, and stashed them at a hotel. Made my way to the French Quarter, only to find that the only place I wanted to go has closed. So I had coffee and beignets at Café du Monde (mmmm), and wandered around. Got to the aiport, and made it to Chicago. Started making some phone calls, since I had been making such a big fuss about people going out for cinco de mayo... but then all of the sudden I started to feel crappy... And by the time I reached my house I was shivering and felt dizzy and had an earache and it was all I could do to get to bed. What a bummer! Fortunately I feel better this AM. I guess that just means I'll have to do a belated bday celebration.

Ok, since this post is already way too long, I will save pix for later.

Oh, but one take home message:
Two ways to go from HOT! to not hot in two seconds flat:
1: put a cigarette in your mouth
2: open your mouth and say something asinine- for example be a rude jackass to the staff.

I witnessed both of those things several times, and it was really amazing at how fast my mind was changed. By the end of the trip, the vast majority of the eye candy had proven themselves to be idiots, not worth two seconds of my time or energy.

Happy Sunday peeps!

Mornin' peeps. Greetings from BWI. No delays so far...

See you saturday!

Addendum: ok, this is why I hate southwest. Hmm ok I can't add pix from my phone. But it's of a little old lady in sensible travelling shoes barricading the A gate with her bag, so she can be first on the plane. The freaking flight doesn't even start boarding for an hour. This is not good for my type A competitive (neurotic, compulsive) side, b/c now I feel like I have to stand here for an hour and not move. Even though it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER and I know it. Damn you southwest and your open seating... you stress me out. But you're so cheap....