Thanks (e:hodown)- I found a decent calculator. I had looked before, but the one I found said "you shouldn't spend more than 1/3 of your income on rent" and the calculator had a box for 'monthly pay check' and then you click 'calculate' and it puts a number in the box. Gee thanks, I can divide by 3.

So the expensive place has 1 month free rent, and if I divide that by 12, it reduces the rent enough that it's about $100 over my recommended budget. If I have to, I could cover $1200 out of savings.

But you're all right... it would suck to live house-poor.

But I think location (both safety-wise, and 'fun'-wise) is important. Both places are equally close to work, so that's not a big issue.

And as far as keep looking... well that's tough since i'm going back to buffalo tomorrow. But I looked at 6 buildings- and then spoke to a realtor friend who said there's nothing else he would recommend (just some dumps).

And I didn't take pix, but here are the websites-

This is the $$$ one (floorplan M)


And this is the more practical one, with the penthouse-

(the middle floorplan in the 2BR section.)

And FWIW, the 1BR in the first place and 2BR penthouse in the second place are about the same size- 1050 sq ft more or less.
The cost difference is $300/mo.

So, I went to Hartford yesterday to go apartment hunting.

I've decided that I want to live in the city, not the suburbs, for several reasons, not the least of which being that having to go to the hospital at 2am is bad enough- having to drive 30min each way is even worse. Also, I'm just not ready to commit to suburbia- even if downtown hartford is a shithole, and the suburbs are wealthy and beautiful.

Fortunately there's a guy at work now who trained in hartford just a few years ago, who recommended some places.

So the first place we went was his old building. It was great... 2 big highrise towers, super-secure, heat/ac included, garage parking included, a pool, a gym in the building... the apartments were big, and nice. They even had a 'penthouse' available, which has a little private balcony. And it's certainly more expensive than here, but I'll also be making more there, so I think it would be affordable- even the penthouse.

The only catch is that it's on the somewhat sketchy outskirts of town. The building is in a little park, and is very pretty- but I got the feeling that you wouldn't want to walk alone in that park. And there's nothing nearby- no cute cafes or anything. Really nothing in walking distance, and it doesn't seem like you'd want to walk in the area, anyway. But the building is really safe. And it's about a 5 min drive to work.

But if that were the only place I'd seen- I'd have taken it and been happy.

But then we decided to check out a few places, that are really out of my price range- just for the hell of it.

And I fell in love with one... in a renovated old department store, with lots of cool architectural details. The apartment is huge. Gorgeous modern kitchen. Washer and dryer IN the apt! And again, utilities and parking included. And, a kick-ass location. Lots of great restaurants, shops, parks, cafes all within a couple blocks. And still about a 5min drive to work- but really in the thick of 'the action'.

But it's way expensive. I think I could probably swing it, but it would make things tight. It's more than I should spend. I just can't tell if it's "well I'll have to go out a little less" or "I will be living on ramen".

So now I have to decide what to do.

Be reasonable and responsible and get the more-than-adequate apt in the less-than-ideal (but still ok) location, and have a little more money to play with....
Or go for it, and live in a gorgeous dream apartment in a fantastic location, and budget tighter.



This really would be easier if I knew what my monthly paycheck would be. I know my yearly gross salary, but have no idea what my monthly pay will be. Anyone know how to guesstimate?

(ok that sounds retarded, but I mean beyond just "divide by 12". How do I estimate my tax withholding etc?)

Hi Peeps.

So, I'm back in the states. Europe was great. Went to Waterloo (like, as in napoleon and the battle of), Bruges, Brussels, and Paris. Have tons of pix, will post later.

Now home in RI, which is super chill. And my sister is here with the baby, which is, to steal (e:hodown)'s line, totes awes. Again, have tons of pix, will post later. Tomorrow back to Hartford to look for an apt... blah. Today it's off to the mall and playing dress-up with the baby. (I had her in an outfit yesterday- pink bathing suit bottom, gorgeous white smocked dress, crazy turquoise striped slipper socks, a funny little knit beret- and then the whole thing topped off with lederhosen over it all. Poor bebe. haha!)

I watched American Idol last night, for the first time in 5 years. And all I can say is- what a bunch of shit! I have not been missing anything, apprently. First of all, enough with the shitty ballads. No one wants to hear that. I would fire them all for song choice alone. And then Adam, who I guess is a favorite... well he's some big deal b/c he's gay (oooOOOoooh) and wears eyeliner. BFD. he sang "born to be wild" which is the only song that didn't totally suck, but he had to go and do it all screechy hair-band style. Barf. They all suck. That show needs to die.

But then on the other hand there is this, which is wonderful and brought tears to my eyes. (though I'm not entirely sure how simon is judging US and UK "idol" shows simultaneously.) Here is someone who can just flat out SING like a mofo, and isn't all wrapped up in the retarded TRL "image" bullshit.

So, tonight I went to snooty fox.
Had a good time.
Was bought drinks.
Actually met some FANTASTIC guys- one married, one gay. DAMN!!
Saw a familiar face... said hi. Realized "if he is here, then [ex] is here."
A while later, saw said ex.
Went over to say hi, since he is a totally no-drama ex.
But there was a girl talking to him.
So i waited my turn.
Said hi.
Did not suck his face off or do anything inappropriate.
Then he introduced me... "you remember [my fiancee]"
We said a cordial hello.
And she proceeded to give me DEATH GLARES all night long.
Oops!!!
I texted him "she HATES me. I'm sorry if I caused drama for you!"
Yikes!!!

but, hahahaha

so then we went to marcella's.
what a blast.
learned why my 40+ straight guy friend goes there to dance (shirtless) so often. Dude is JACKED. Hell I would be looking for any excuse to take my shirt off!!

Then danced on stage, and was groped by some guy who guessed I was "23". bahahahha, but i love you.
I guessed he was 23. he was all offended. B/c he's really 22. :/

and i saw one of my interns, who is gay but not out....
i hope i didn't just ruin things for him... b/c i'm so ok with it... but i'm sure he's mortified that he saw me. Oops!

then time for a slice... and further drama so not worth writing about.
And now- bed.

Later peeps.
See you soon!

I was told today that my journal is boring b/c there's no boy talk anymore. So, here you go.

To all the doubters who thought I was crazy-

The 'double-date' with Dan and his new GF was a SUCCESS. (all in all).

My friend/date was not as interactive as I wanted him to be (i.e. he kind of refused to hang out with Dan and GF so I had to choose who to talk to) but... oh well. And he wouldn't come for post-show drinks, so I ended up being a bit of an awkward third wheel for that part, but it was still ok.

But, I think we all got over our nervousness after about 2min, had some sushi/drinks at Papaya, and then the show. We all had fun, she's a sweetheart, and I think we put his mind at ease that we can coexist in peace.

And that was my goal. Dan is a fun and funny guy... and we have a good connection, on a lot of levels, that I don't have with many other people in Buffalo. And I always had a blast with him and his friends. So it makes me sad to think that we can't hang out just b/c we're not dating. I mean of course I understand his apprehension, and I know not everyone can do it, but I really am confident that we can still hang out platonically, and have fun. B/c I miss that- more than I miss the sex or anything else.

I also ran into some friends AT the show, who I didn't know were going to be there. I explained that "the tall guy over there is my ex", and one said to the other "Ok. We have an ex situation here. We have to be ALL OVER our girl tonight!!" Which I thought was sweet of them.
Until I went to the bar for a drink a little while later and was told "oh btw they left." Gee, thanks guys. Worst wingmen ever!! LOL.

So that's my current boy situation.
Have met another guy who is very cute and very fun... but he's into the 21 year old chippewa type. He calls me all the time to hang out and always includes me and today called me "part of the inner circle" and asked for my LAST name to put in his phone- but the other day referred to me as "one of the boys", which I think is the kiss of death. Bummer, but oh well.

As The Hold Steady says, "there's always other boys, there's always other boyfriends- you can make them like you."

And in other news...
I finally did my last required case the other day, so I have now officially met all requirements for graduation. That's a good feeling.
And, yesterday was my last day at ECMC. For EVER. THAT is an even BETTER feeling. Now just to find out if they're really going to make me go back to BGH.

On monday I leave for vacation- a week in Belgium, and a week at home looking for an apt in Hartford, and hopefully seeing my sister and the bebe. It is going to be a struggle to not eat tons of chocolate and beer and kill my diet!

Oh yeah on that note- as of this AM- down 22lb. (I don't mean to be obnoxious and brag about it- but I'm pretty psyched.)

And I will leave you with a (blurry) picture of my "senior picture" for the graduation composite. Not a bad pic, even though I think I look like a real estate agent. ha!

"Impress your friends with our sweet dance moves!"
hahahahahahahhaha

So... the son of a local real estate mogul [i'm leaving out the name as i don't feel like being googly today] was in a bad car accident fri night, as you may have heard. (it was in the buffalo news etc).
I hadn't heard about it, but started getting messages from friends asking what was up, and then seeing "prayers with the family" updates on facebook.
So today I went to the ICU to see how he was doing... well the answer was not well.
And as much as I would have liked to update my friends, it would be a huge violation of patient confidentiality etc etc, so I had to keep it to myself.
So when I got the calls tonight "he died" it was like "yeah, i know, i'm so sorry."

But so now everyone is flipping out about how sad and tragic it is.

And it absolutely is. I am not debating that ONE BIT.

The only thing that bothers me is that this happens I'd say at least weekly, and more in the summer.

And there is no big media circus about it.

And now there is.

Just kinda sad that it's suddenly so much MORE of a tragedy if your dad is famous. :(

In any case... sad story all around, and my thoughts are with his family and friends. :(

from my dad...

Even more amazing than the baby cuteness is the fact that my technophobe mother took these pix on her phone, and emailed them to me.

omg, this is awesome: