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Category: relationships

10/29/07 04:28 - ID#41863

When She Outearns You

A friend of mine recently got broken up with, for of all reasons, that she earns too much. She dated a regular joe, blue collar factory guy for 5 months, and never was there a problem really (besides the occasional out-of-your-element moments at the martini bar I suppose).

But to know what he said about himself, it is heart breaking. "I am only this. I am only that. Just a nobody factory worker. You deserve something so much more than me." Hearing that made me want to put my arm around the guy and ask "Hey man, why do you feel that way?"

Of course, I have not been a stranger to those kinds of sentiments, so I really do feel for the guy. He knows how he is going to be judged by many women, and the mistake he made was that he applied it to someone who already accepted him the way he is! Playing the percentages is for wimps.

In the end, his own low self esteem was his (and her) undoing, and so my friend threw her arms in the air because she didn't think that way about the guy at all. He made her happy, and when you tear down all of the attitudes, the bullshit, the expectations - that is what we all want the bottom line to reflect.

You see, guys want to be the hero, and we are conditioned to think that being the breadwinner is the way to achieve it. I think there are a million ways I can be a hero to someone, each having nothing to do with money. Seeing as more women than men are attending college nowadays, and the gap for grad school being even wider, I expect these kinds of problems to only become more plentiful.

If I were in that situation, I would just be really happy for her as long as she didn't hold it against me. She can buy all the diamonds and great clothes in the world, and I would love to see her in them, and I would be proud of her. I feel so damn bad for my friend. She did the best she could and still ended up getting the short end because of something that had nothing to do with her.

Do you see that we are always finding new reasons to reject people and push them away? One thing I'm learning is that when you push people away, sometimes you are really going to wish you hadn't.

Find a reason to pull people into your life instead.
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Category: relationships

08/13/07 09:10 - ID#40509

Meeting People Is Shitty

Went to the Tralf last night. Saw Band of Horses. You know, I liked seeing them live compared to listening to their recording, where the vocals are so dripping with effects that I couldn't gauge whether the guy was hiding a shitty voice or not. Well, turns out the guy has a hell of a voice, an instrument, compared with someone who just holds a tune well. Very cool.

I went with Jerry and a girl (we'll just call her "A"), but I never felt like the third wheel, even when they were cheek to cheek, being all cutesy.

I have been sort of down on this girl, even though she is very sweet, and very down to earth. Not to mention the two of them have many shared interests. The thing is she has been a flake on occasion, not answering the phone sometimes, not calling back sometimes. Lately things have been turning around in a big way. Reading the body language last night, it seemed like they were into each other, teasing one another and whatnot.

Sure enough, when I got into the office last night, I got a phone call from Jerry after he got home. He said that A told him that she wasn't looking for anything serious, that she may be going away to Grad School, and yet she really likes him. YAWNBOMB. Yeah, A, you might have mentioned that before you started actually dating the guy, and accepting his generosity. I know for a fact that if she had been up front with him right away, he would NOT have wasted his time and money, especially on someone who is keeping it in her pants.

THIS is why doing it the right way is so not worth it most of the time. You just end up getting taken advantage of. I feel really badly for Jerry, even though I'm sure he has not exactly been up front with people on occasion as well. Things do come full circle. However, I really hoped that this would work out for Jerry, because I want my buddy to have a girlfriend he really likes. If he's happy I'm happy.

He said, well, looks like it's time to sleep it off and forget about it. Man I wish I could be like that. I hope he means it.
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Category: relationships

07/10/07 01:20 - ID#40036

BREAKING: Women Like Muscled Men!

Yes, it's true! Researchers at UCLA have spent real time and real money discovering what we have already known for thousands of years! Don't you love Academia? Check it out:

"Women were more physically attracted to brawny men, especially for a fling. But when it comes to finding a long-term partner, they tend to pick a regular man over a mate with huge biceps."

Wow. Who could have ever guessed that? Party girl goes and finds hot roided up guys, enjoys dong after dong, and then somehow inexplicably "grows up" one morning and decides she wants a guy with a paycheck and who won't smack the shit out of her, to set her up for the future. You don't need a team of eggheads at UCLA to tell you that! You just have to observe everyday life.

Of course, early on I was flagged as being the latter, not the former, unfortunately. Yeah, being the guy you settle down with should be a whole lot of "fun" after you've exhausted every last sexual fantasy on former gym class heroes who couldn't give a shit about you or any other wet vagina. They lust after one kind of man, but "love" another kind of man, and then say "But I CHOSE YOU." Oh, is that really ever true?

I hate relationships. There has to be someone that fits, someone as crazy as me that laughs at everyone else.
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Category: relationships

03/05/07 02:05 - ID#38363

How To Make A Woman Happy

I saw this on MySpace and I thought it was rather funny.....enjoy!

Peace, Love and Orgasms!

Your homie,


How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate


45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls


51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


54. Never to forget:
  • birthdays
  • anniversaries
  • arrangements she makes




1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

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Category: relationships

01/15/07 12:07 - ID#37697

Ugh, I Messed Up

Was tired and not feeling all that well Saturday, so I didn't think to call her. We were supposed to hang out. I spent yesterday wondering what to say or how to say it, basically I blew it and blew it worse by freezing up and not saying anything instead of telling her something to the effect of "Well can we hang out tomorrow? I am really tired and not feeling well."

Now she thinks something is up. I am such an idiot.
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Category: relationships

01/08/07 02:25 - ID#37588

Not Giving A Shit

It's still the best policy when it comes to women. If there is one thing you can almost always bet on, it's that she has some people on the back burner just in case you fuck up. I have to admit that I am very, very uncomfortable with this, almost to the point where I would rather not bother.

No, nothing is "wrong" per se, so don't worry about me folks. I just don't like the idea of a back burner. Before I even bother to commit emotionally to someone I have to know that I'm the only one. When I date I am a one woman kind of guy. I suppose I should get some interesting backups lined up in case I get kicked to the curb for someone more preferable.

I don't even know why I feel this way.
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Category: relationships

11/30/06 08:28 - ID#23708

Operation Movie and Vino - Success!

Yes, I am tired as hell but I would like to report that everything went over smoothly. The movie (Superman Returns) was okay, if not a bit too long, and we got along just fine. Other than offering some really corny commentary on occasion, I was perfectly well behaved.

The thing is, when I kissed her she went feint and had to sit down. I shit you not! She said nothing like that had ever happened to her before. For a moment I thought the Pinot Noir was a bit heavy on my breath, but then I realized that yes I am that sweet.

Her friends seemed to be worried for her, as they called her at least three times during the movie, which annoyed the fucking shit out of me. They seemed suspicious, and when I heard that I took it very personally, because I'm not a shady guy. She just ignores them. This morning it occurred to me that it had nothing to do with me personally, that no matter who the guy was her friends would act the same way. It gave me some insight into how tight they really are.

She said she had a great time, and that we're definitely cooking together soon. Cool! So far, so good.

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Category: relationships

11/24/06 08:57 - ID#23704

Has Jason Met His Match??

Sorry for being so snippy in my last entry - I've made a lot of progress but sometimes I still get frustrated. I'll explain why I was frustrated in another entry, "The Sophia of Jason, Part III" which will be published sometime later.

Anyway, what is on my mind today? Remember when I bitched that I went out with Jerry on Halloween and had to be the third wheel all night? Apparently that night at Faherty's a friend of a friend thought I was cute. I never found out until a couple of weeks ago, and anyway dating hasn't crossed my mind much, so my radar's been a little off.

When dating has crossed my mind, I've always thought "No, no, this can't happen now, I'm not 100% together yet. I need more time!" I was afraid that if the timing was off I wouldn't be able to do it the right way. This week I've thought about it more and I've changed my mind - maybe it IS the right time. Who am I to be so rigid about when the right time would be? Maybe this is what I need to take my progress to the next level, and anyway who doesn't like a little diddling now and then?

She isn't a very forward person, so there wasn't really a way for me to know for sure until I met her roommate the other day. She's definitely down, and so am I. I know what your first question will be, and yes she is a Republican, but not the mercenary type by a long shot. She told me the more I would try to spend spend spend the more she would resist it. She doesn't care at all that I'm broke now, or that my car's a heap, or that I need a haircut.

For the first time I feel like I have an opportunity to wow someone I like by being my charming, kind, brilliant, golden-hearted, and humble self. The thing is, if I like someone I can barely talk to her, or look her in the eyes and smile at her, but that's what I want to do the most. I'll chillax, don't worry. Doc Lurve, heeeelp!

Far from being a barbie, she has a quick wit and an off sense of humor, much like myself. I see a lot of myself in her (but not the good part, yet, ZING). Oh, and it doesn't hurt that she is a former figure skater, and mediterranean, so she is very, VERY alluring. The other night when we were out I had the constant, almost irresistable urge to wrap my arms around her body and probe her oral cavity but you'll be happy to know I was a perfect gentleman. Next time, I make no promises.

So last night I sent her a text asking when I could see her again. I know better than to get ahead of myself or make assumptions so for now I'm just happy to get to know her more and get out of the house to have fun. I'm such a dork. Maybe that's part of my charm.
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Category: relationships

09/02/05 01:19 - ID#23555

Annoying Things Women Do

There are literally BILLIONS of reasons why guys shouldn't waste their money or their time getting involved in the modern dating game. It is a losing proposition for all men except for the very best looking and the richest of us. Why put the women on a pedestal like you do? Why kiss their ass and jump through hoops just to MAYBE find out if she's interested in you? There are so many things that are annoying about dealing with women in relationships. I'll give you one of my faves.

You know what really bugs me? When they want to sleep over. Oh, great! you think as you ponder the bedroom acrobatics. No no no! It's a trap! Before you know it, she'll have stolen all your sheets and 95% of the bed space, leaving you freezing and with one ass check on the bed, one ass cheek off the bed. And then in the morning you won't even get any head, but she'll be all like "Jason get me a glass of water." What? A favor for a favor!

And then after you've gone and gotten her breakfast and coffee, you'll come back home and she will give you some shit like "So Jason do you like my looks better than my personality, or my personality better than my looks?" This is a loaded question, and the only appropriate answer is "Jeezus!! Stop reading Cosmo!!! If I liked quizzes I would be taking night classes!!"

And then she'll start bugging you about spending the entire next day with her. What? Maybe I have other things going on that day, or maybe I just want to hang out by myself. No I do not want to go see a movie. No I do not want to go shopping, good lord. All I want is peace, quiet, good food and no hassles!

Do the right thing - save your cash, your time, and your precious sleeping hours. Just rub one off and go to sleep. You'll be glad you did!!!!


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Category: relationships

08/29/05 02:37 - ID#23553

I want your child...and nothing else!!!

Check out this new reality TV show ready to hit Europe (you can bet it will be on our TV stations as well)!

There are times when I have to shed my humility and pat myself on the back for understanding the complexities of human nature, and for my prophetic wisdom in understanding how things are going to shake out in the future. Now there will be a reality TV program dealing with the reduction of the human male to sperm donor status. Some people say that reality TV doesn't accurately reflect our nature. I have to disagree - it does mirror our own nature (however packaged and contrived the shows are), and in some cases also shapes our reality as media tends to do.

I've said before it is only a matter of time before men are relegated to sperm donors and ATM machines. Now the idea has been implanted. The thing that is so aggravating is the horde of emasculated she-men out there who are complicit in the systematic destruction of the male. The oppresive court system with laws tilted enormously against men, the politicians and their lap dogs who go along with it just so they stay in power, the media happily advocating it - it is enough to make a guy want to pack up and move to the mountains.

Just as there is an argument now as to whether or not marriage is a "right", there will be an argument as to whether or not having a child is a "right" as well. Should there be public funds going towards sperm banks so women can have a child whenever they want without actually having to deal with those ridiculous, hateful, cheating, violent men out there (that is to say, any male at all)? Wait and see - this reality TV show is only a reflection of the attitudes of millions of women out there who can't find "the perfect flawless man" and still want children. Remember fathers don't matter!

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