My friend's stag was this past weekend. Honestly I wasn't sure if it was going to be all that cool, it being a party designed to separate fools from their money and all, but it ended up being pretty fun. Beer and food = most guys are happy. Simple equation. This must be a Buffalo/WNY thing. None of my friends had similar parties. I brought a Jenna Jameson DVD to raffle off and that bad boy went FAST. Couldn't have been prouder with my selection. How can you say no to a "choose your own angle" feature?

The girlfriend was also in town, not for the stag or anything, as she told me she didn't know how to dance, heh, but we did get a little bit of time together. Things are getting more serious, and we're talking about the future. What will happen next year? The year after? Having witnessed my friend JV go through this process, I told her if one day I get married I refuse to have a big ceremony, refuse to have a shower (another shameless marriage benefit), and refuse to throw a party at some reception hall. I

The whole process resembles some jejune conformist nightmare. Seriously, outside the awesome wedding of (e:Ladycroft) and (e:Rory) aren't they all the same? Why does everyone have to go through the same BS process? Since when was going deeply into debt, for the satisfaction of knowing you have a bigger diamond, more lavish party, better cake, a requirement to be a married couple? I've thought of registering my protest by wearing the same shirt and tie every time. Same haircut.

Anyway, my girlfriend said something very interesting to me. It should have been obvious to me, but when you think about all of the photographers (love me some (e:dcoffee), you don't count, man), reception halls, caterers, mens and womens clothing, invitations....there is actually an industry dedicated to the perpetuation of this awful paradigm. I wonder what is more true. Does the industry thrive because people WANT to go through the pain in the ass? Does the industry thrive on appealing to us emotionally, making us feel like our relationship has less value if we don't do it the "right" way? Or is it peer pressure?

She also said she doesn't want to have another (cough) big to-do. This was such a huge relief for me. It's going to sound bad, okay, I'm not going to pretend it sounds lovely but the good thing about dating someone who's already had her day in the sun is that I'm off the hook, no dealing with the aforementioned pain in the ass. The only thing I would want is one good dinner with my boys, maybe some golf and cards. Whether it is this situation or another, I want to just go away somewhere, minimal number of people, middle of nowhere. Maybe on a beach. I'm sorry for saying it but I feel more connected spiritually in nature instead of in a hot church building. Don't you?

It sounds awfully close to me saying I'm ready for the next step but it is still way too early to do anything other than poke around the issue. Can't believe I'm talking about this. Anyway, I'm very thankful for what I have in my life. Very thankful. I have been so blessed this year. I think I've met my match. She cares about the little things that make life interesting and fun, which I had lost sight of for years. Life is great, people! You have to unplug, detach yourself from the day to day so-called "existence". You make yourself happy by happily investing in other people and other experiences. You feel fulfilled by participating in someone else's fulfillment - and really giving it your best. Even if this falls apart tomorrow I will still be blessed because of everything I've learned.