And I'm not using those words lightly:



Jason

Not to break up the rants or parties you guys are enjoying, but I have to ask you all something. You're all just talking about the national elections, and you're happy that the "corrupt, unethical" Republicans no longer have control - yet we just elected two real gems to Albany, and I want to know why nobody is talking about it. I suspect it's a case of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, or a case of just looking the other way. I hate to be so cynical but that's the way it looks.

Alan Hevesi (D) - An out and out THIEF of taxpayer dollars for his own personal purposes, and a repeat offender to boot. Famous for doing the same thing in the city. Oh, what a guy, he repaid it after he got caught. Unethical, inappropriate, and apparently completely acceptable to Democrats. I heard a good comment on the radio yesterday. Someone said "Who better to look after thieves than a thief? Who knows them better?"

Antoine Thompson (D) - This notorious yes-man, and proponent of the casino ran UNOPPOSED, which speaks to our local apathy and carelessness when it comes to local elections. Can you believe that people who will be harmed most by the Casino voted for this guy? And here we have to deal with the tired, incorrect rhetoric about Republican voters not voting for their own interests, which makes 750 howl with laughter. What a joke, an absolute joke, and nobody is talking about it. Why?

Oh, be happy that the Republicans no longer have national power, but hang your heads in shame and self-loathing after you learn that we continue to move backwards locally. The local elections are what matter the most to us on a day to day basis, and we are asleep at the wheel, mindlessly turning the (D) option in support of people who never should be in office.

The Democrats have, as expected, taken at least one portion of Congress away from the Republicans. I have mixed feelings about this, because I think replacing a group of far right wingers with a group of far left wingers will not result in anything useful for the majority of people.

We will still have minority beliefs and values forced upon us, but they will be of a different nature. I don't think having one party in control of the legislative and executive branch is helpful, so in a way I think it is better overall that things have gone this way, although nothing of any consequence will be done in the next two years.

I will guarantee you one thing - all of the talk of fraud, trickery, illegal activity, so on and so forth, all of this stuff is going to disappear into thin air, and why? Because in the end the left got their desired result. As long as they get their result the rest is sort of insignificant. When Democrats win, obviously nothing out of the ordinary happened. The one liner is "No loss? No problem!" I doubt we'll ever read another Niman rant about this, nor will it be plastered all across the mainstream press. It appears to me that it was all faux outrage. I hope that I'm wrong, and that there are a lot more DCoffee types out there who really give a shit about something other than victory for their party.

Rummy is now gone, and I don't think anyone would disagree at this point that it's the best thing for everybody. I would hate to work for a boss like that.

Congress is going to be locked in investigation hell, and every kook conspiracy theory is going to be given the kind of respect they should never receive. This is going to get very boring very quickly.

The Democrats won in part by courting moderate candidates. This is interesting to me because the House leadership will now be comprised almost entirely of far-left liberals, not moderates. Pelosi (if you believe Time magazine) is infamous for bending people to her will who disagree with her. America voted for Moderates, and that's not the kind of leadership we are going to receive.

I know there are those of you who are begging to have your taxes raised. Pelosi and Schumer have said repeatedly recently that they are not going to raise the rich's taxes, or anyone else's taxes! Do any of you really believe this? Will the Democrats wait until 2010 for Bush's tax cuts to expire? Absolutely not. Not a chance.

How many of you want Bush to be impeached? First of all, if you are thinking seriously about this, you do not know what it is you are asking for, because if you did you would understand that 67 senators need to agree on it. Pelosi and Schumer and the rest have also repeatedly said that Impeachment is off the table. Either they are lying or they are going to disappoint a lot of liberals.

What of Iraq? This is what voters went to the polls to protest. They say they will not "cut and run," but I don't see how moving our troops out of Iraq is indicative of any other attitude. Anyway Bush is still at the top of the military food chain. I see no significant changes in America's Iraq policy. If anything, people are going to vote to cut the funding of the war, in lieu of sticking their necks out for a major policy change.

How will the Democrat leadership do its job? It is going to be gridlock. All that is going to happen is a push for the '08 elections, and the Democrats aren't going to be active enough to hang themselves, if they are smart. They will leave the decisions concerning America's foreign and domestic policy to the UN, or to Paris.

I'm not happy, but then again there wasn't a result of this election that I would be happy with. I feel like it was a choice of bad or worse, and bad is still bad, you know?

Whether you are a proud American or not, the only way we can make things better is if we take ownership of this, our country, and show the incumbents they just aren't good enough. I'll be voting strictly along anti-incumbent lines today. Whether you're straight up commie or a fascist pig, get out there and stake your claim to our great nation and vote.

After yesterday's rant, I've decided it's time to elaborate a bit more on why certain things upset me so.

I try my best not to be a jealous person, and I'm about 95% of the way there. I've not been a jealous person in my relationships, or my personal dealings, but there are certain situations that really bring it out of me - one of them being Jerry's magnetic attraction to the ladies.

I absolutely cannot stand it when someone has so many opportunities, and then bitches about not having what they think they deserve. You see this all the time from lovely women who complain about dozens of guys approaching her, but never the right ones! I can't even tell you how bad my language gets when I hear stuff like that.

I wish I could have even half of the opportunities Jerry gets. I think he takes it for granted, and that really rubs me the wrong way because in the end it becomes an entitlement. If I had around five or so girls vying for my attention I probably would have chosen one. And yeah, part of it involves sex with hot girls but moreso it is about having someone look at you in a way that lets you know how much they want you, how they enjoy being with you. That's what really bothers me, that I don't have THAT in my life. Part of me craves attention, admiration, love and acceptance - instead of constantly having your balls broken.

I'm not nearly as good looking as Jerry, although if I must say so I think I'm a relatively good looking guy. I don't have the whole dark feature thing and that opens many doors. But really what I'm missing is the will to just go for it. There is only a small percentage of girls who I'm willing to make that kind of effort to attract, and it has less to do with looks than her outlook towards life. There are a lot of beautiful girls but only a select few are grounded enough and "human" enough for me to make the effort.

One of them wrote to Jerry recently asking if he's hiding from her. Now, I don't know this chick very well, but my impression is highly favorable. She is definitely not the kind of girl that Jerry normally hangs out with. She seems like an absolute doll. She almost has a negative attitude towards herself, and I can't explain how much I just want to laugh and explain to her how unique she is. I would kill (not really) to have an opportunity to have a girl like that in my life. Of course sappy doesn't sell so I would have to translate that into something better. Anyway I'm jealous as all hell that he has this kind of attention from the girls and I don't. I feel like I would be able to take an opportunity and run with it. I'm not perfect by any means but I could enhance someone's life in some ways.

I'm trying so hard to not be jealous, and to think of the great things I have to offer that other people don't. I know that I'm unique too. It's just so difficult sometimes to get over this stuff and to move on and get what you want.

In staying with tradition, I have to once again rant about some things that will appall you and make you respect me less.

(e:Ladycroft)'s motto is "Say what you mean, and mean what you say" and I thought about that for hours last night. Okay, Jerry is hooking up with his intern, a freshly minted 21 year old, and he wanted me to go with him to this girl's apartment party last night. I thought, "Oh, shit,hell naw bro" until he introduced the tease: There would be plenty of hot chicks there who are going to WANT you, Jason! Well holy hell who could say no to that? And then over the course of the week he sent me links to pics of the girls who were interested. Needless to say I was absolutely excited about the prospect.

Despite not feeling my best for a few days I went with him, really only because he promised me hot ass, otherwise I would have stayed home. I cleaned up, shaved, got all nice smelling and whatnot, put on my costume (Monk re-hash) and got in the car. When we got there I met the girl Jerry's hooking up with, and she was actually a decent enough chick, but where the fuck were the girls Jerry told me about? Some fat bitch asked me where my little boy was ("I'm a MONK, not a priest, you retard!") but the girls Jerry told me about were nowhere to be found. Ummm, what the fuck?!?! It was at this moment when I realized I had been utterly BAMBOOZLED and tricked into accompanying Jerry to this travesty so that he wouldn't feel weird. How could he do this to me?!?!?

But oh, does it ever get worse - I was relegated to third wheel status as we jetted around town, my bitterness and discontentment reaching critical levels with every bar visit. Some chick grabbed my ass at Gordon's, which I guess is better than nothing. Faherty's was alright, but said bartender who hooked me up with a nice shot of Jameson's earlier in the week was having absolutely none of it from me. Too bad because I would have totally respected her and treated her the way a woman deserves to be treated, such and such and so forth. Hell no, I would have drilled her like a Texas Oil man. The closest prospect was a friend of a friend, a known Swinger but that fell through at the last moment as her brother pulled her out of the joint. Fat Bob's was okay, but really at this point I was about 6-8 drinks in the bag and in a terrible mood. When you were tricked into being a mobile support group and third wheel you tend to just want to throw caution to the wind and pickle yourself.

I began to think about how Jerry basically hoards the girls, putting many on the back burner while one gets his attention, all the while making vague suggestions about maybe pushing one of them off to me. Never happens. I also thought about the ridiculous comments he made about Walt "dominating" when he came here. It's times like this when you just have to admit to yourself that you have a hot friend, and you're the equivalent of the ugly chick who tags along in the hopes of getting some runoff. Jason, you're never going to get what you want so just fucking move on and live with it!

If he would have just been straight up with me to begin with I might not have gone, or I might have just because he's my best buddy, but the worst thing to do is tease me with hot ass, promise me a fun, nasty, sex filled night and then end up being a total liar. I am fucking PISSED. I wish I would have just stayed home, unshowered and stoned and perfectly happy. At least I only paid for one drink.

So, Jerry and I were at Faherty's last night watching the Sabres game (one of the bartenders used to tend during our dart nights) and a chick bartender (not the one we know) noticed my Bass Ale wasn't downed. She looked at me, handed me a napkin and said "You might need this to wipe your pussy."

Of course, I'm famous for not taking that kind of thing so when she walked by again I gave her the napkin back and told her that she'd better worry about her own pussy. SHOCKING.

And what happened? She plopped down a shot glass and poured me a Jameson's. Cool deal!

It pays to be a jerk! To be honest I thought about stepping it up a notch and offering her a hand (hehe) but that might have been going overboard.

Jerry's still laughing about the whole deal, so at least we had fun.

As estrip's budding Tony Robbins I feel I have to leave an inspiring message for everyone today, including myself.

Work hard. It's far less agonizing than watching the clock tick.

We all have tough times. Getting through them is good for the soul.

Home is impenetrable to the drama and bullshit of work/school. Keep it that way.

When was the last time you did something helpful for your fellow man?

Which means, of course, that we had friends visiting from NYC. Oh, I love those guys, the most fun and obscene people I know. They are married, so I can't publicly document everything, but I will say a good time was had by all.

The night kicked off at Pearl Street, where we drank some of their beer and watched the Sabres embarrass the Rangers. James is every bit the partisan Rangers fan, so it was fun needling him. Walt once again declared impartiality, which is fucking shameful. Some chick in there had the dirtiest mouth I've heard on a female, calling Jagr a "fucking pussy." That was the clean part. I laughed very, very hard.

After the game we went to Mother's because Jerry needed to wish a happy birthday to his coworker E-Max. She was having dinner with her visibly annoyed boyfriend. Mother's ain't the best place for a quiet dinner, not to mention it is the favored watering hole for prospective trophy wives and social climbers (see (e:Jenks) post about Ryan Miller and Andrew Peters - it is well known that Sabres visit the place, which explains the overwhelming stench of MHBs). I wouldn't say I hate the place, but it isn't my favorite by a long shot. Whenever I go there I feel a strong impulse to get the hell out of dodge and ritually scrub myself with lava rocks.

As an aside, I laughed until it hurt when I read (e:Jenks) post concerning her coworker who was dating Nick Carter, and had him stolen from her by Paris Hilton. I have to ask, was that a joke? Was she being serious? Because some celebrity threw her a bone (literally and figuratively) she's going to go through life thinking that's basically what she deserves, and nothing less. Truly hilarious. The evil motherfucker in me thoroughly enjoyed reading the post.

Anyhow, we finally, thank God, left Mother's and headed towards Chippewa. I have been trying my ass off to get rid of the flawed notion that the overwhelming majority of women are out for the dollas, and Chippewa is the very best place to test yourself when you have this mindset because you are literally surrounded by it at all times. Well, I don't think the notion is TOTALLY flawed, there is some truth to it, but I tend to overexaggerate it greatly.

Of course I assumed an alias ("Jake McDermott") and went to 67 West with my buddies for some more alcohol and debauchery. Josh "forgot" his ID so he went home. I chatted up many a chick with my married friends. These two cute chicks were there with their mothers, at least I think it was their mothers, either that or some really fuckin weathered 30-somethings. They tried to scam drinks from us, and I laughed out loud in their faces. How about a blow job honey? Walt was his usual charming self - the ladies love him, what can I say? I've always appreciated the runoff however. Jerry not so much so, he has to be the #1 dog at all times. This from a guy who fucks more girls in the span of a couple months than I have in my life. Whatever. We smoked some cigars, laughed it off and headed over to SoHo. You guys know how much I love SoHo.

There was a $3 cover, which is completely inexplicable considering there is never any live entertainment, unless you count everyone inside who is trying way too hard to make an impression. Had a Heineken, met an old friend who I hadn't seen in many a moon, and somehow lost my friends along the way. The place was absolutely crawling with hot ass. My libido is returning with a fury, which is yet another sign that I am coming out of it. Saw a tall, leggy blonde, an amazon woman, who was absolutely amazing. I've always wanted to know what I could get away with armed with nothing but $5 and my wits.

Eventually I found my buddies and we went back to 67, God knows why. Did some cherry bombs, chatted up a few more people, and the NYC guys got us a cab in less than 5 seconds. The cabbie was a cool ass dude. He let us smoke the remainder of our cigars, and he bumped some hip hop for us, loud as all hell. Elmwood looks very odd with no lights. Thankfully I've never been out of power. The guys wanted to partake in an unnamed activity which was met by my swift veto (if I won't do it, you know it's gotta be bad).

I love those guys. I wish I could hang with them more. I had an awesome night! How about you guys?

-Jake McDermott

$11.3M award for "defamatory" internet posts.



There are way too many lawyers in the world. They are fucking sharks. Predators. Law firms are some of the very few businesses in Buffalo that can afford billboard and TV advertising (the other businesses being car dealerships).

Broke a nail? I'm sure someone out there would be willing to try and get you a heavy reward. What nonsense.

The fact that people can even do something like this sets a dangerous precedent. What, if someone gets offended are you going to sue them? I guess so.

What are we becoming?