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Category: family

03/22/06 12:04 - ID#23643

Sister Recap

Some of you may remember how heartbroken I was that I lost my long lost sister's phone number, so I couldn't get a hold of her. I was so upset, besides myself. Well I finally found the number and gave it a ring tonight.

ERRR ERRR...the number you have dialed is not in service anymore.

So I spent some time trying to use the web as a resource to find her. I called a half dozen Diane Marsh characters tonight and none of them was her. After a while, the "Oops, I'm sorry" speech to the aggrieved became canned. Tonight I've been absolutely inconsolable, and alone, and with a phone out of battery. So I choose to go online to say how I feel. I desperately want to connect with my family.

Eventually I decided I would try my mother, the first among many women who threw me away and didn't want me. It turns out she is indeed in Jamestown, so next week I am going to show up at her door and confront her. She is the reason I have so many deeply rooted issues when it comes to women. Plus she is possibly the only way I can get a hold of Diane.

I only have one memory of my mother, in Pre-School when she came to see us, and we went to get some candy. I remember being in the candy store, and I picked something out and she was like hell no. I don't recall even recognizing her as mom, only as some lady who wanted to hang out with Josh and I. I thought she was mean.

Then one day at home when Josh and I were in our early teens, Mother called and I would not speak to her. Josh did, and he told me Mom said she thinks about us every day. Bullshit, I thought, absolute bullshit. I held a grudge.... least until tonight. I can't go on through life not talking to Mother. I can't imagine getting married and not having my Mother there to see it. I have a whole half of a family which is a complete mystery. Diane stuck her neck out to get a hold of us and I owe it to her to find her, no matter the cost, even if I have to face up to the things, and the people, which have hurt me the most.

At least I didn't almost piss in the garbage today.

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mike said to grandma
I'm so glad you made it safely!...

mike said to grandma
I'm so glad you made it safely!...

joe said to grandma
OMG welcome!...

joe said to mike
New years resolution to top (e:strip)?...