Category: fun

03/20/06 02:20 - 28ºF - ID#23641

Flirting Bloopers And Other Fun

At first I was going to talk about dating bloopers, after reminiscing over some very funny (and stupid) things I've done in my time. Then something occured to me, a comment (e:Ajay) wrote on my MySpace profile - something denouncing my self-proclaimed flirting glory. It occured to me, and you don't hear me say this often, (e:Ajay), so enjoy it - you are absolutely correct! So I want to encourage everyone to share their stories.

Before I start, if anyone is interested, yes Jerry and I are absolutely rampant in Dart League, after our 0-2 start. We are in top form right now.

The first thing I said to my last girlfriend - "You don't like your nose, do you?"

What I said to a girl last Tuesday, after she told me she didn't talk to me the previous week because she was seeing off a good friend - "Oh, I just thought you were being bitchy."

What I said to 2 girls in Florida who bummed cigs from me, and then asked me what else I was up to that night - "You have your cigs, now leave me alone!"

What I said to a girl who blew me off one night, and on the phone said "We'll go out tomorrow! I want to see you!" - "Screw you, you blew me off, I was embarrassed. Only call if you're actually going to follow through." (Friends of mine will find this highly ironic)

Then there was the time in college I was in my girlfriend's bed, and ripped out a GIANT fart while asleep, as well as a few aftershocks. It woke me up from a stone cold sleep, and I thought "Damn if she can live through that she's a keeper."

Jason

jenks writes at 12:38:38 03/21/06 - Comment #5669: Hmm. Well I don't think I've done TOO many asshole things to others, but there are some I'm not proud of- in college i had a big crush on this upperclassman... and at a party we were talking... I was oblivious to how wasted he was (which was of course the only reason he was talking to me). But eventually he suggested "getting out of here." I was pretty psyched... so we walked out, he had his arm around me... Perfect! Dream come true! He was swaying a little.... then said 'hold on a sec'- and walked over to a trash can and puked. (hot.) And- I still went home with him. Yeah. Proud moment.

robin writes at 09:00:31 03/20/06 - Comment #5663: once while fucking an ex I told him "get off of me, I'm bored."

twisted writes at 08:37:27 03/20/06 - Comment #5662: Probably my worst faux pas was interrupting sex to trim a hangnail. Hey! It was really bugging me! And the sex wasn't that good either. Besides a hangnail can be dangerous in certain situations. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

sbrugger writes at 03:29:58 03/20/06 - Comment #5647: Hmmmm..."Austin's Dating Highlight Reel", eh? To preface all of this...I'm mostly ashamed of all of these incidents and I think I have grown and learned from them.

Let me see....

Item #1: I was attending a rugby function with a girl I was seeing. She was the type who doesn't go in for some of the shenanigans that often happen at these events (getting naked, excessive drinking/noise, swearing, smoking, vulgar songs...generally a good blue-collar sort of time). Well, of course she wanted to "escape" early (in all fairness, I guess early makes it sound bad...it was 11...we had been there since 7...my plan was to be there until 4am), I didn't want to, and drunk me then "makes the rounds" of all my friends (with girl in tow), announcing, "Yeah..sorry...I know, I wanted to stay too, but she needs to be 'taken care of'. *wink*".

Yeah..stellar...just stellar...lesson learned there when I was sleeping on the couch.

Item #2: I was on the phone, discussing just how much I didn't enjoy receiving oral sex from a particular girl I was dating at the time with a friend. (no..that wasn't the sole purpose of the conversation, but it came up...) and I get a beep on the call-waiting. It's said girl. "Yeah...I had a great time the other night, but I'm on the phone with Frank..can I give you a call right back? Okay..bye......*click*....So, yeah...she's AWFUL...seriously...I've gotten better head from a virgin! *silence* *female voice* WHAT?!!.....*expletives etc*"

Another shining moment.....

Item #3: Short and sweet.... "Listen, 'Lisa' (name changed), you're a really great girl....but you're ugly...seriously...just not attractive at all...please leave me alone." (In my defense: 1) I was drunk and probably high [this was back in college] and 2) She just wouldn't leave me alone...she'd get drunk and call me and get all mopey and weepy and I really didn't like her.....)

There are others...but those are the first that popped into my mind....maybe drop a few more in later...

Permalink: Flirting_Bloopers_And_Other_Fun.html
Words: 295
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

03/15/06 05:03 - 36ºF - ID#23640

Anyone catch Matisyahu?

I heard there was a listening event at Third Room. Was he there? Did anyone go?

Permalink: Anyone_catch_Matisyahu_.html
Words: 16
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: potpourri

03/10/06 07:41 - 49ºF - ID#23639

Ok, Cupid

I am - The Pool Boy. Sounds fine. Sounds better than Brutal Sex Whore with shaky ass morals. Pool Boy for hire!

Permalink: Ok_Cupid.html
Words: 22
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: fun

03/02/06 03:29 - 24ºF - ID#23638

Caption Time

I see my approval rating is 100% - that is very nice to know. Maybe I will consider running for office! Anyway, I found this little nugget and thought it would be fun to make captions. I'll go first!

"Screw the facts! Screw the Constitution! I've made my choice, nudge me in 30 minutes."

"Justice Ginsburg is busy looking for her facial features, which apparently slid off and onto the desk.

Permalink: Caption_Time.html
Words: 73
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: poll

03/01/06 12:13 - 25ºF - ID#23637

Jason's Approval Poll

Here's a poll that is actually worthwhile - the Jason Approval Poll.

Do you approve of Jason?

Permalink: Jason_s_Approval_Poll.html
Words: 17
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: potpourri

02/24/06 11:40 - 22ºF - ID#23636

Definition of Jason

Jason --
[noun]:

An immortal

Permalink: Definition_of_Jason.html
Words: 5
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: tech

02/23/06 05:51 - 37ºF - ID#23635

Canadian College Bans WiFi?

I saw this on Drudge Report today. Health concerns about WiFi, anyone? I know you all will get a kick out of this.

Permalink: Canadian_College_Bans_WiFi_.html
Words: 32
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: local

02/21/06 04:58 - 30ºF - ID#23634

A Hotel???? A Hotel????

I just don't see the point in having a new hotel on the strip. What a silly idea. I wonder what genius financial minds decided it would be economically feasible to do this. I foresee it being used to capacity probably a couple of times a year.

This is something I've written about in the past - the suburbanization of Elmwood. The strip I moved to in 2001 is nothing like the strip I know in 2006. Holy fucking shit, we do NOT need to transform the strip into some kind of Williamsville-esque plaything for the blue bloods and the wannabes. There IS something wrong with making the strip an upper class place. It would cease to be the unique, varied, fun place I fell in love with. I would be horribly embarrassed to be living in a place associated with the word swank. Do you know what being swanky means? It means classism, it means a homogenous population, it means being exclusionary - these are all things that go directly against our notion of what makes Elmwood great. I don't want any more of those fucking horrible robotic suburbanite princess bitches on my block, trolling for single 30-something guys with cash, unless they are wearing next to nothing so I can enjoy checking out their bodies.

I mean, for fucks sake, they are already infiltrating The Pink! Is nothing sacred anymore?

Permalink: A_Hotel_A_Hotel_.html
Words: 230
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: love

02/17/06 10:03 - 23ºF - ID#23633

Blah

Permalink: Blah.html
Words: 0
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: pimping

02/15/06 04:41 - 43ºF - ID#23632

Pimping Legend

I want to say that an unnamed friend of mine entered himself into pimping legend by calling the various cameramen in the HSBC Arena (he works with them) and getting himself, along with his female guest, on the Kiss Cam during Saturday's Sabres game..

What is the Kiss Cam, you may ask?

During a break in the game, the cameramen pan around the arena at various couples, and when the couples see themselves on the camera, they kiss each other. By securing himself a smooch with his ladyfriend in such a diabolical fashion, he left a lasting impression amongst his friends.

Cheers!

Permalink: Pimping_Legend.html
Words: 102
Location: Buffalo, NY

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