God I feel so depressed today. I'm inconsolable. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I can't focus. I can't sleep. Days like this are so shitty. I can't think of anything that will help me right now. And you, dear reader, have had your time wasted by reading my gripe which you don't care about. Sorry, but sometimes writing helps.

Yesterday I went to yet another friend's wedding in Rochester. Every time I go to a wedding I can't help but wonder about the divorce rate in the USA. I don't ever want to see any of my friends go through the painful process involved with it. Some couples you know for sure are going to make it, and yesterday's couple is in that category. I've never seen a couple so into each other and so happy before! Not everyone has it in them to make that kind of commitment work but I believe in them 110% and then some. They are two of the greatest people I know.

The reception was at the Casa Larga Vineyards. I'd never been there before but I thought it was great for a fairly small gathering. I'm not really a wine person...I can't think of any wine that I would drink before I would drink a Guinness or Boddington's but I bought a bottle of their Lilac Hill variety. It's a white wine that is fairly sweet (2.4% sugar content, compared with practically none for a Chardonnay) and it has a very distinct flavor. I've never tasted anything quite like it. I like it more than any Sauvignon Blanc I've tried. Of course I can't drink much alcohol anymore but I had a couple of glasses at the reception. It was really good....I recommend it highly but I don't know if Premier or Gates Circle carries it.

After the wedding (e:Joshua) and I went to a cafe I know in Rochester called Java's. It's right next to the Eastman Theater. I think Java's is so much better than Spot. Instead of having all of those huge tables they have a bunch of smaller tables which lends itself much more to private, intimate conversation. The lighting is better as well because you don't feel like you have a bunch of spotlights assaulting your senses. If you are in Rochacha sometime I recommend it.

One thing I read in their City Paper (Artvoice minus the extremism) really caught my eye. There is a "national" group which was founded in NYC called "Drinking Liberally". There are chapters all over the country. Basically the club members meet up for happy hour every week. Progressives can meet and have a nice social gathering without the horrible thought of having non-Progressives in their presence. Is there a chapter in Buffalo? If not, why doesn't someone start one? I think something like that would be perfect for Elmwood residents.

Jason

I downloaded the 3 CD version of Mandrakelinux 10.1 from the CSE FTP server at UB. It was basically as easy as Windows to install. That wasn't my worry. As you may remember I was concerned about my laptop being able to run the graphical interface, being that may laptop is so old and doesn't have much RAM. I thought the graphical interface would crawl. Much to my surprise Mandrake works perfectly on my Pentium 2 laptop! Very cool!

Well, actually I did have one minor problem. My wireless card doesn't work yet. I don't know if it is a hardware compatibility issue or simply a matter of finding the right driver. I didn't have enough time to look into it any further but hopefully I'll have that ironed out tonight. I need it to work so I can update the OS and download whatever software I might use.

(e:Paul) - I will post my view of estrip tonight whenever I get my card working.

The next thing I want to do is set up my old Pentium 3 box as a Shoutcast server so I can broadcast music and video. (e:Joshua) is installing Mandrake right now, and I'll be getting the proper software later. I've never tried anything like this but the Nullsoft tools seem easy enough to use, so I expect that by the time Dad comes up on Sunday I'll have something to show him. I would only be running this from my puny DSL connection so I doubt I am going to be able to handle too many listeners, but I think it would be sweet to set it up so I can just fire up Winamp and listen to my playlists at work. It seems like a fun exercise so I'll try it and give you the proper info if/when it's online.

Jason

Holy crap my laptop is too crappy for Linux? Am I stuck running Win98SE?

P2 400mhz
64 Megs of RAM

I checked out Red Hat and Suse Linux web sites and both of those versions recommend 256 megs of RAM. After that I decided I would ask you guys for help. I want to use a stable OS that works with my new wireless card but I'm not sure if I can find a version of Linux which supports wireless without the memory requirement. Am I stuck?

Jason

I know most of you don't care about sports or other types of competition, but I have to say HELL YEA to CFC taking down Barcelona and moving on to the Quarters of the Champions League. Here is one of my favorite players Frank Lampard

I am a lot more passionate about this than politics. Nothing leaves me more spent, frustrated, speechless, depressed, upset than talking about Relationships.

Some chick had the audacity to tell me that really beautiful girls don't get hit on? No, dumb ass, you get hit on just not by the guys you really want. Everyone else is invisible and doesn't count. No you do not want an average guy so stop trying to bullshit me. I hate Womanese so fucking much.

Jason

I'm dominating the microwave! Ain't nobody getting by me!

Lazlo makes me happy. Why the F aren't you fools checking out their music? Here's another question - why the F doesn't Artvoice review local bands anymore? I'm abouts to get liberal militant on that ass. Word.

Jason

I don't necessarily agree or disagree with the theory. Like you said it's not easy to determine. I guess the easiest thing to say is that "getting" encompasses everything you mentioned. I only have heard of this theory in very general terms.

When I think about this theory, I think of a guy I know who works at an unnamed shop on Elmwood. Allegedly, according to an unnamed twin brother on Elmwood, this guy has gotten laid by 300+ women. Now I'm not passing judgment on the guy, but instead saying "Holy shit! 300? Really?" He must be one helluva good conversationalist. I see this guy with all kinds of girls ranging from the freaky to the princessy. I admit he's a pretty good looking guy with lots of charisma. He knows what to do and what to say to get in their panties.

Some guys you see with more girls than they can handle, and others will never ever be with a single one. Those are simple observations I've made, but not enough to say whether or not a theory like this is true. When I hear about something like this, the wheels always churn.

You know, you're right that I need to get out more. Lately, the more I date the more I don't want a serious girlfriend. The last girl I dated had an agenda set for me, lied, cheated, and tried to manipulate me into doing something I thought wasn't right. It didn't matter what I thought - what was important was how she felt about things and how quickly she could get her way. So of c ourse being the reformed nice guy I am, I had to do what was in my own interests and say goodbye. After that I said to myself "fuck this" and haven't dated in a couple of months. I'm gonna wait until spring I think, when all I have to do is step outside if I want to meet people.

Jason

You were one of the only people ever to talk to me in person from this site. You were one of the only people who gave me a chance. The fact that I see the world differently than other people was okay with you. You were my favorite journal writer. You were my birthday buddy. Now who will write my favorite journal?

You have to do what is best for you. I understand. I just wish it never had to come to this. You know my take on it so I won't repeat it. It's an unfortunate situation.

Jason