So, I'm really sick of the cialis/etc spam emails that I get all day. Most of them get filtered as spam, but a few make it through. And there was one today, that just wouldn't delete. I don't know why, but it wouldn't go away. So I finally had to open it, and it had this lovely porn-spam-poem:

That's great you've got a gal that's hot
You wanna nail her juicy twat.
She's cute and taking, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will yearn for more?
You need a thing she would adore!
But how to get it long and thick?
Your only hope is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your shaft will pound her poon so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!

So try today this magic pill
And change your life at your own will!

Nice, huh??

And then, this one from my dad. Very politically incorrect and culturally insensitive and potentially offensive blah blah blah- but it made me laugh:

WIN 2 AIRLINE TICKETS ALL EXPENSES PAID TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN
PEKING , CHINA .

To participate is very easy, just view the attached photo, correctly
Answer the following questions and send your answers to the
International Olympic Committee:

1. Which student seems to appear tired / sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?

Hmm, I'm suddenly talkative again. (I know why- because I don't want to go deal with the ER.)

So, this isn't quite the story (e:imk2) wants me to tell, but (I think) it's funny nonetheless.

So... I met a guy last year at St. Patrick's Day. He was super cute and charming and witty blah blah blah. We had a great chat, I thought we hit it off, I was pretty psyched. Then all of the sudden he up and disappeared, without asking for my number or anything. Bummer. But my friend said "oh don't worry, he's alway out, we'll run into him again." But she also warned he that he's quite the player, and not to fall for him.

Well, months went by, I never saw him, and I kind of forgot again.
But then we ran into him again. And he's very hot and cold. First I was hurt b/c he totally ignored me. But then all of the sudden it was 2 days of steamy texts. Then more ignoring. Who knows. And I kept remembering her warning not to get invested, b/c yes he's cute and charming and all that- but he's slept with half of buffalo and isn't about to stop.

So, one night I was talking to my girlfriend, and I said I had finally accepted that he is fun, but not to expect any more from him than that. He's a blast to be around, he flirts with me and makes me feel pretty, blah blah.

And she replied "yeah... totally. He's like M [another fun, non-dateable, friend of ours], only better looking, with a better personality, a better job, and better breeding. Basically he's M 2.0!! You should upgrade!"

So now I refer to these two guys as 1.0 and 2.0.

haha. (ok, I thought it was funny...)


And a totally random aside, just to go along with all the political ranting...

So my mom was telling me yesterday that in my hometown, our trash collection was not free. It was not provided by the city. I guess you either could have a pass to the dump (for free) or you could pay for trash collection. But I guess trash collection to the low-income housing was free, or something like that.

Well apparently in their infinite wisdom, the town has decided to close the dump or something. And thus I guess that *have* to provide some sort of free trash pickup. My parents are like "sweet, don't have to pay for trash pickup anymore." And over the last few weeks, they delivered two of those nice big plastic garbage cans with wheels (like the ones we have here) to every house. Which I'm sure cost the city a pretty penny.

So, how are they going to recoup these losses??

They have decided that they will only pick up your trash from your fancy new trash cans if it is in a fancy new trash BAG. Otherwise they will just leave it there. The catch- the bags are $3 apiece. Which for my parents, still ends up being cheaper than trash collection used to be. But for the people who had it for free, now it costs them money and they're all up in arms. And the town also doesn't want to have to pay garbage men (besides the driver) so they are instructing people to line their garbage cans up JUST SO on the street, so that the truck can just pick them up, without needing the extra guy to help line them up.

Is it just me, or is this about the worst plan ever??

Well, ok... here's a story that's not about boy drama.

This is an example of my typical luck.

So last year for christmas I wanted a remote starter for my car. But was told that it's not possible for a stick. Then found out later that it is.

So the other day I revisited that idea. Talked to a friend, who said he can get me a deal, have their top guy do it, blah blah.
So, I made my appointment. 11am yesterday. Was told it would be two hours.ish. So I figured I'd hang out and wait and study and check out fancy tvs and drink coffee etc.
Long ridiculous story "short"- at 6:30 pm, when I've been up since 5am the PREVIOUS day, they told me "well, it's installed, and everything is working except the auto-start."
(um, ok, so what exactly IS working???)
Then they went on about how my car is like a BMW (yes, I know that, didn't you?) and how they don't usually do BMW's b/c they're too hard [apparently their security is very good, and it's very difficult to start a BMW without the key. Go german engineering!] [==> new user song: German Engineering, by Maritime. It's awesome. Check it out.], BUT since I know K they did, blah blah. Sounds like it was quite the headache, and a lot more work than they'd bargained for. So they have to order a part, and i have to go BACK for more installation next week. In the meantime, it works- IF you leave a key in the ignition. [Thanks K- 'preciate it. (and I'm not being sarcastic)].

Which is a bad idea, but of course I had to try it out.

So last night.... well more long stories short, I got stood up by a friend, and I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him. (yeah, you "really want to catch up", my ass). So I woke up around 230, and went to bed. (realized in the am that what might have woken me up was a text I got at 230 am... "can I please come over?" from a VERY HOT acquaintance that has been ignoring me lately. Odd. But answer- no. You do not get to ignore me for a week and then booty-text at 230 am.)
So, I went to bed. Was supposed to be AT WORK at 6.
Well, I slept a bit, and woke up... opened my eyes, looked at the clock, 6:07. I had forgotten to turn on my alarm clock. FUCK. So I flew to work.
Got there, and since it was almost 630, the parking lot was just about full. (well, just about HALF-full, but the fucking union makes them keep about half the lot roped off til nine, for the people that start at 9.)
So I pulled my latest trick and parked in a handicapped spot.
Yes, yes, I know that's wrong.
BUT, there are about 15 handicapped spots. And the kicker- there IS NO HANDICAPPED ENTRANCE anywhere REMOTELY nearby. So I boycott those spots on principle. I park in them often, and have not had a problem. Besides, if you DO get a ticket, it's like a "please don't do that again" post-it from hospital security.

So I go to work. Am finally ready to come home. Figure I'll try the starter. So I push the button. Go out to my car, it is not running. Well, maybe I was too far away. Oh well. Get in the car to start it.
It does not start.
Dead battery.

GOD DAMMIT!

I left the headlights on.

Often if you leave your lights on, some good samaritan notices, and they make an announcement overheard. I have to assume that's what happened. My inappropriate headlights drew attention to my car- and to my inappropriate parking space.

So I got a ticket.

And not a hospital ticket. A ticket from Buffalo's finest, for $100. $100!!!! Guess that will teach me to leave the 'handicapped' spaces for the people who are able bodied enough to walk up stairs, but handicapped enough to get a pass (i.e. fat/lazy.)

And the story doesn't end there, oh no, dear readers.

But I will abbreviate.

I needed a jump. One woman lent me cables, but wouldn't let me jump off her battery. So my friend, who had no cables, pulled his truck around. Only to find that the damage incurred when he hit a deer 3 mo ago has made it impossible to open his hood.

i mean really! Could things be any more ridiculous?!

Dr. Farkle goes to work...

So. That's my non-boy story. Now you probably all wish I'd stick to boys. ;)

I hate that my journal is so boring lately.

I hate that I am censored and not allowed to talk about certain people/things.

Because really, that's all I want to talk about.

omg, it's 3am. Why am I awake?!
I fell asleep on my couch watching tv, since my friend stood me up.

I ate popcorn for dinner, and fell asleep on the couch, but am such an addict that I had to check my computer on my way from my couch to my bed. I don't like going to bed <2h before my alarm is going to go off.

My life is so awesome.

Boo.

But in the spirit of halloween, here's the pic I wanted to post the other day but I couldn't get it to work.

I love photo booth.

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Happy Halloween from Photo Booth!

Oh, peeps....
I am so sad about the party last night.
I had such simple plans at first. I was going to go to the 24. The End.
But then it got all complicated.... went out with my friend one night, met a bunch of her friends from work, and it turned out they were having a party the same night, that "YOU HAVE TO COME!" to.
So... we went there first. It was ok, but not as fun as the first time I met them.
So then to the mansion.
Which was crazy and fun as usual. But my friend was having some BF drama issues and was eager to get downtown to try to find him- and then there's the whole 'estrip/non-estrip worlds colliding' bit. I told her that Paul runs a website, but just left it at that. Didn't really feel like explaining the whole blog thing, since as we all know, blogs are super-uncool. ;) Or more like I'm scared to death of being found out for the closet nerd I am. [or REALLY I'm scared to death people will find my journal and find things I said about them! haha.] But I'm not sure she was really feeling it and I felt bad, so we had to go to the last party. Which was not as fun as I wanted it to be. And by the end of that I was kind of cranky and not at all drunk so I just went home to bed.
Total bummer! I wish I had stayed longer.

But, in the few minutes I WAS there-
TK!! Nice to finally meet you!
And Tiny!
And Felly and Lauren- once *again*, I saw you across the room but never actually said hi. Dammit!
DCoffee, nice to meet you, but I don't think I saw your GF (Monica, is it? MTornow!)
Chico- love the costume, again sorry I only saw you for a sec.
Mike- ahh, mikey I love you.
And Lib. You hot straight man you! [someone, the centurion, don't know his name- called lib a breeder and thought he should set him up with me and my friend.]
Jbeatty- I think I saw you out of the corner of my eye, sorry I didn't get a chance to say hi.
Yvonne- I hope your party-dreams came true.
PMT, you sexy babies you.... thanks!
And to all the other 'regulars' that I saw but didn't really talk to (jim/james, peter, vincent, vycious, carolinian, and others that I'm forgetting but please don't be offended)- good to see you, sorry we didn't chat more!

Let's do it again NEXT weekend!

And now, I'm off to study (more like "study") at Spot.

So, last night was a bit of a bust. Had these great intentions of a wild, late night out (just because I had today off, so I felt I needed to take advantage of the chance to sleep in). I started at the benefit for my friend's nephew (which was nice, and there was a HUGE turnout. Including "special guest" Baby Joe Macy, or whatever his name is. The ex did not make an appearance- and I'm not sure if I'm relieved, or disappointed.) Then part two of the evening fell through. So inertia set in. So I took a shower to try to wake up... and ended up falling asleep sideways across my bed, in my towel. Apparently even slept through my doorbell when people came to try to drag me out. Oops.

But then today was nice. My friend is/was dating this guy who keeps losing a lot of money at the casino. So he has banned himself from the casino. And by that I just thought he just told himself he's not allowed to go anymore. But apparently he went to the casino, with a lawyer, and filed all this paperwork, to the effect that if he ever tries to go in to gamble, they are supposed to kick him off the premises. I never knew you could do that.

But here's the rub... as you may imagine, someone that gambles enough that he has to forcibly ban himself from the place- will earn some comp points. For example, this guy had a free night in the hotel for every day of the month of august. We are talking lots of comps. So, what do you do with all these comp points, if you can not use them yourself? Why, you give them to your girlfriend, to try to keep her from leaving you.
(ahh, dysfunction...)

But long story short, she and I were treated to massages (plus pre-massage sauna/steam/whirlpool) and lunch on his comp dollar. Then a stop at the Saks outlet on the way back, where I snapped up an adorable pair of shoes on sale (on my dollar, not his, haha). Then to Transit for The Nightmare before Christmas in 3-D. It was awesome. (but note- it is in 3-D, but NOT in IMAX. We went to the IMAX screen, and were surprised when Transformers started instead. oops. Fortunately we made it to the right screen on time.)

Now I am home, full of popcorn, and with muscles made of jelly. I love it.

And, a little mystery to top it all off--

When I came out of my massage, I had a missed call on my phone. From a blocked number. No message. I was curious, but what could I do. Then as the movie is starting, I go to put my phone on silent, and I have ANOTHER missed call from a blocked number. This time with voicemail! So I listen to the message- it was 3 seconds long. A hangup. But obviously the person heard my outgoing message. And then as we were leaving the movie, "Blocked" called AGAIN! I mean, by now this can't be a matter of a wrong number, can it?? But I didn't answer in time. I'm dying to know who it is!! I mean, to call 3 times, but not leave a message?! So weird! So I am going to sleep with my phone, just in case s/he calls again.
Watch it be a telemarketer...

Happy sunday everyone. :)
-J

Ok, I think this is worth bumping my previous post down a notch.

I just found the best podcast ever!!!
NPR's All songs considered

It's mostly cool indie stuff, including full live sets

here's a sample of recent episodes-

radiohead, neil young and others
Jose Gonzalez
Okkervil River
Iron and Wine
Robert Plant
Rilo Kiley
Bishop Allen
Louis Prima
the apples in stereo
the new pornographers
and of course, The National :)

Why did I not know about this before?? [maybe because I never listen to NPR?]



The website has even more- there's a whole column of live concerts you can just download.

Take that, vista!

and another geek thing-
this is LaCie's new 500gb external HD-

• even if you don't read the whole post, please skip to the bottom for a PSA**

Well, I guess I haven't posted any of my typical overly-revealing overly-long rambling posts in a while, so I'm sure you're all dying for an update on my exciting life.

Unfortunately, my life is like 90% work and 10% "me time"- but my priorities are the exact opposite, which is probably not good. [yes, I'm exaggerating, no need to get scared for my patients.] I love what I do... but I am just sick of the miserable hours. And sometimes I would rather go home after a 12 hour day, than stay an EXTRA six hours for some disaster case. Does that make me a bad person?

But so on Tues I went to The Tralf to see The National- my favorite band du jour. I seriously love them. [Their newest album, Boxer, is fantastic. But I don't have mp3s of it small enough to use as a user sound. So I am back to my old standby, "baby we'll be fine", from the album Alligator. Check it out.]

It was the first "real" show I've been to... god, I dunno, maybe since I lived in New Orleans?? i.e., in years. It was great. They were fantastic, it was fun to see them, nice to get out, etc etc.

But I was there looking around at all the cute hipster indie kids... and suddenly thinking "I wish I knew more people that like the music I do." But a lot of what I like is obscure indie stuff, and the only reason I even know about it is b/c my bro-in-law hooks me up.

So, when I got home, I turned to trusty craigslist. Emboldened by anonymity, I decided to post a "missed connections" message. Really just for the hell of it. I think I am (unfortunately) still an emotional disaster over the last guy, and am probably not in any position to be a good 'girlfriend' to anyone. Which sucks, b/c there are some good guys out there. [though I did hear rumors (through the grapevine, of course, since he still refuses to acknowledge my existence) that it sounds like he is losing it. Acting weird and unreliable... I don't know if it makes me happy or sad to hear that.] I've never been so head over heels over anyone like I was/am over him- and I've never been hurt as badly. Ok, but I digress...

My point is that I put up this ad really just for the hell of it- not b/c I'm really actively trying to find someone. I doubt I'd write back to anyone, but I was curious to see what other National fans there may be in the area. So I wrote:

If that title means anything to you- please write to me!!

MC to all the cute hipsters at the Tralf tonight... and there were plenty of you...

You made me realize that maybe I've been going about things all wrong. Maybe all I need is a guy who likes the music I like. Someone who won't say "oh really? you're going to a concert tonight? The National? That's nice. Are they a rock and roll band?"

So if you were there tonight, so was I. You may not have seen me. And I may not have seen you. But chances are- I dig you.

(but just to be a little more specific- ideally you are >27, gainfully employed, have some sort of degree, not living in Mom's basement, and for the love of God, do not have a full beard.)

Drop me a line... what's to lose??

[a wee bit about me- not to brag, but I'd make your mother proud. I'm a cute fun chick, with her head on her shoulders. I am quite well-educated, and have a good job. Not into drama or games or designer labels. Am into good times, laughing, with good people.]

For the title, I used a lyric from one of my favorite songs of theirs. (Baby we'll be fine; my user song) And it's one of their 'bigger' songs- one that people who know the band would probably know.

Well, I'm an idiot, and didn't think about the line OUT of the context of the song, and what 'if that title means anything to you, write me' means.

the line I used as a title is:
"Baby come over, I need entertaining. I've had a stilted, pretending day."

DUH.

So I have been inundated with messages like 'oh yeah! Baby I'LL come over!' etc.

Oops.

Only one person has known what I was actually getting at.

But the worst of all-
I got a message from an anonymous gmail address that just said "Oh, Alex dear... :)"

WTF!!!!!
Am I that recognizable???? Which suddenly makes me quite embarrassed, b/c I guess the message is a little braggadocious/obnoxious.
I don't know who it was... I'm guessing my ex-ex. Crazy.

Ok... guess that's enough for now. I miss you peeps. What's new with you??

-J

• PSA**

My friend's adorable little nephew Dominic has Hypertrophic Cardiac Myopathy. He's only about 1, and he needs a heart transplant. :( There is a benefit for him next saturday. I'm trying to help spread the word. Tickets are $25. Here's the website:



(yeah, that's a baby with a playoff beard.)