ELMWOOD AVE - A throng of war protestors, Jew haters, self-hating Jews, terrorist sympathizers, white nationalists and self-styled journalists assembled at Bidwell Park Sunday afternoon in the hope of persuading Israel to stop its massacre of Lebanon. Drivers were gifted with exquisite performance art and signage denouncing Israel's atrocious response to constant rocket attacks and suicide bombings.

Bobby McJewHater of South Buffalo, 35, described Israel as a "terrorist state and occupier of Arab lands," and offered the following remedy: "Why don't the Jews, with their hook noses, just lay down and die? It's pretty fucking obvious the world despises them, with the exception of that other terrorist state, the U.S., so they should just submit to Islamic rule or be destroyed."

Bobby's wife Jewy, 32, pondered the situation. "I'm Jewish, and I can't stand what they're doing. I mean, the rocket attacks only kill a few Jews at a time, and what are a few Jewish lives? Nothing, a drop in the bucket, only a good start. A Jewish state is far from necessary anyway. I think their response is appalling."

Bitchy O'WarProtestor agreed with Jewy's assessment. "The collective punishment of the Lebanese people is a war crime. I'm pretty sure the Bush Crime Family is involved somehow. Don't you watch CNN? They had a beautiful piece last week outlining all the great things Hezbollah does for the Lebanese. They educate, they give social services, they do everything for the Lebanese, just like Fidel in Cuba, and they are a legitimate portion of the government. Who cares if a few Jews pay the price for their arrogance? It doesn't mean they have to get their panties all in a bunch and man their tanks. Leave Hezbollah alone! They are only resisting! The world should condemn those fucking Heebs for what they're doing! Err, shit, sorry Jewy, no offense."

Adolf Neonazimann, 23, rejoiced. "I am SO happy that we finally have something we can agree upon with the left wingers. Hezbollah should stack those fuckers up like poker chips! Kill them by the fucking bushel! This is pretty much one of the best days of my life."

A passerby who would only identify himself as "Danq," when asked about his reaction to the mob next to him, lamented the short sightedness of his fellow citizens. "Where the fuck are you when Israelis get murdered on a daily basis? At the computer beating off to it? You people make me want to vomit. Maybe if hundreds of Katushyas were dropped on your fucking heads in the last few weeks you would gain a little perspective. Until then, I just called Buffalo's Bravest, who should be over here shortly to dispose of you assholes with some high powered water cannons. Piss off."

Yes, it's true, YOU TOO may look like a serious ass kicking motherfucker, with the help of these bad boys:

So yesterday after the fucking Italians beat the fucking French in the World Cup, Vinay decided I needed to get out of the house. We grabbed Mack (Vinay's dog, you may have seen him) and headed out to a friend's to smoke some dope, watch some HD, and socialize.

I was really impressed with HD. I have to get it ASAP. We watched Entourage, which by the way ladies IN NO WAY resembles that whore-fest Sex and the City, so stop making the comparisons! I actually liked the show.

Yeah, one of the guys came over and said his girlfriend repeatedly slapped him and punched him in the face, laughing at him, trying to embarrass him in front of his friends. Now, this dude has a hot temper, and I am shocked he didn't just knock her out. He doesn't believe in hitting women. I don't either, but I might have grabbed her wrists, squeezed the shit out of them and restrained her until she chilled out. Eventually he brought her back, probably to hate fuck her before giving her the boot permanently in the morning.

Eventually the fun had to end, but Vinay said we should go to the bar and meet his friend. Fine. We grabbed Mack and headed over there. We left Mack in the car because they don't allow pets in the bar. Anyhow these two chicks in an Explorer yelled at us and asked us to go with them to Frizzy's. Vinay looked at me, I said why not, they promised it would be a short visit.

An hour or so later I reminded Vinay that Mack was still in the truck. Vinay completely forgot. How awful! We went to the girls and said, hey the dog is still in the truck, we need a ride right now to go get him. The chicks said to Vinay "Well I guess it's too bad you're a terrible dog owner!" They wouldn't give us a ride back!

We had to call Josh at 2:00 or 2:30 to come get us. He wasn't happy, but he knew that it was for Mack, not for us.

Fun Fun Fun!

Well, it looks like another female teacher (a.k.a. FUCKING RAPIST, you won't hear it said about her though) is getting in trouble for messing around with some students:



22 counts of criminal sexual conduct with a person under the age of 16! If this was a man, people would demand he be locked in prison, and the key thrown away! I know you guys are sick of reading this but I will bash everyone over the head with it until people do equal time for equal crime!

The press can't even bear to call these women RAPISTS!

The students and parents agreed with the prosecutor on the 7 year term. All I can say is that while I'm sure they're trying to be nice and forgiving, they are in fact sending a message to other potential rapists that you can get over on the justice system if you are female.

Someone yelled my name as I enjoyed a cig on the porch.

I didn't get to see who it was!

If it was you, well HELLO BACK ATCHA.

=)

Anyone else think this "war resister" (COUGH) is going to be featured soon in an issue of our beloved Artvoice?



Jason

The Swedish National Football Team advanced to the knockout stages of the World Cup, by drawing the BLOODY ENGLISH this week. I love the World Cup, and I love the motherland.

Here is Henrik Larsson, reacting after scoring the equaliser.



My man Freddie Ljungberg, one of the best, an Arsenal star.



He does some modelling too. For the ladies, the gay boys, and JOSHY.



Oh yeah, the Swedish ladies. The most beautiful anywhere.



Sweden is pretty much a hottie factory. Myself included, of course. Their fans at the World Cup have been awesome. If you guys haven't been watching the World Cup, SHAME ON YOU!!! Countries shut down for this shit, and civil wars have been halted for it!!! It is a one of a kind event. Check it out!

Heja Sverige!

People:
1. How did you find out about/why did you become of estrip?

I saw the chalk advertising on the street and decided to join.

2. How "out" are you about having a publicly accessible online journal. Do your friends know? Does your family know? Do your co-workers know? Does your boss know? Do you use your real name? Do you use your real photo?

Everyone knows I have an online journal. Yes, I do use my real name, and no I do not use my real photo. It all has to do with the one time some asshole threatened me with violence after GWB won again.

3. How many epeeps have you met real life?

Many. Not as many of the new folks though, as I have been absent at the parties lately.

4. How has estrip changed the way that you meet people, on and/or off line?

I've learned that one or two things that irk you about someone are insignificant compared to the things we have in common. I look for commonality now. I also don't take shit so personally.

5. How has estrip affected you love life?

It has gotten me laid, and I don't know how many people can honestly say that.

6. How many of your friends have joined estrip because of your influence?

My brother. So I guess that makes one? The rest don't feel at all comfortable with doing an online journal.

7. Are you from Buffalo/do you live in Buffalo?

No/Yes

Equipment:
1. What type of hardware or software purchases have you made as a result of using estrip?

None

2. Have you used the mobile version of estrip? Why or why not?

Yes, when I had my Sidekick. Not at all anymore.

Lifestyle:
1. In what way has estrip changed your Internet surfings habits? Describe the amount of time you spend on estrip, when you use it and about how long?

I look at it as much as I look at my e-mail. Who knows how long each day, it varies depending on how interested I am in the content of the day.

1a. How many journals do you usually read per day?

5ish

2. In what ways has estrip changed the way you perceive your local community?

In a way, my perceptions have been strengthened and reinforced.

3. How has journaling about your life affected the way you spend your free time?

Journaling hasn't affected my approach to life at all.

4. Has estrip changed your living situation in any way?

Nope.

5. Do you find that you mediate/document more of your experiences now that you share them with others?

YES. This should tell you how open I am about sharing shit recently.

6. Has publishing on estrip affected the way that write?

Not at all.

7. Do you have other online journals? If so, with what service and has estrip affected your usage of that journal?

No, unless you count MySpace as a journal, which I do not. This site is about equal to the other in usage time.

8. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using estrip at work?

Never, at least not that I am aware of.

9. If you have stopped using estrip, why?

Intolerance. I think this stuff is cyclical.

Actually it isn't true. I've tried writing a few entries, but I get about a paragraph into it before I say "fuck it" and erase the entire thing.

So, I'll just say Hello.

Yes, of course I will help you! Just e-mail me the details or something so I know when and where to show up. And don't worry about the reward, unless it's food. I like food. Especially when Josh isn't here to cook for me.

Oh, and I also got your message, I turned my phone off earlier. Why? Oh well Jason was a fucking moron and didn't take his medicine for 8 days straight, which makes for a very unpredictable and dangerous situation. So today I went and got my pills, took them, and went to sleep for a few hours so shit could get in to my system. So that's why I wasn't able to get coffee and whatnot.

Anyway let me know whassup.

-J