My mom and I are going to write a book. She basically wants to cut and paste our email correspondences into a book, but I am having none of it. There is not enough aspirin for the headache I would get trying to funny that shit up. But we have been sitting on this idea for a while that I think would really work.

We planned this for when she retired and I had the time and money to take two weeks off of what ever future job I would have. We would do a little research finding places and then go on a quest. A quest to find the hair salons with the tackiest names!

In the town neighboring the one I grew up in there is the salon that inspired this idea. On the side of a small wooded road is a building that looks less like a salon and more like the infirmary at a summer camp. Open the screen door with holes the size of raccoons and you will find not the typical hospital like floor of a salon, but rather pine that hasn't been swept since the dust bowl. Take a seat and close your eyes. Mentally prepare yourself for a treat. Decadence: thy name is beehive!

You have entered "Curl Up and Dye".

The name of that place does a wonderful job of being funny, but a terrible job of conveying that it offers a service you would want; unless you have a beaver in need of taxidermy.

The book would be pictures of the different salons, interviews with the staff and customers, the essential question of "where did you get that name, for the love of god?" all thrown into a blender of sarcasm and served over ice.

Strangely, at a party my mom was at she was talking to this couple. They both happen to be publishers in the coffee table book industry. I took that to mean they publish those bargain basement picture books about moose, or Tuscany. Not the endless folio of Madona's coochie. Well, they said that not only was the book a good idea, but it was also a refreshing idea in a stagnant genera. I'm not holding my breath.

Well, I am looking for a new career.

Hi,

I am going to ask a favor to you estrippers. If you hear of any entry level positions in a public relations department or firm kindly let me know. Volunteers positions would also work, but pay is always preferable.

thank you

So far I like out new Governor David Patterson. Admittedly I don't have much to go on. He has been a state senator since the 1985 so he has quite a track record. However, New York politics being what they are I can't really find too much on the guy without serious digging. From reactions from senators from both parties he seems like a good guy: progressive but willing to work with members of the other party. Spitzer treated the GOP like a mole to be removed. Patterson and Senate Majority leader and soon to be Lieutenant Governor Joe Bruno have a good relationship which indicates that, for once, shit is going to get done.

The media has the same problem I do. There is info on him, but we are too lazy to get it. Good thing it isn't my job to find these things out. Too bad it is theirs. Look at a picture of the man and what jumps out at you

1) he has a beard
2) he is black.

I put it in that order because I mourn the loss of political facial hair.
Q: Who was the last president elected who had facial hair?

A: Howard Taft. And that was with a measly mustache. The last president with a full beard was Ben Harrison. That is over 100 years since the office of the presidency .

Q:: Who was the last Governor of New York to have a beard?

A: Governor Hughes. Left office in 1910.

sad, sad state of the Executive beard.

But, despite the fact I firmly believe facial hair is essential to running a state or nation, the media has only really picked up on his blackness.

Yup, we are about to have the first black governor in New York history and the third in US history. Could have told you he was black looking at his photo. Thanks for taking the work out of that one.

More remarkable, I think, is that he is legally blind. He memorizes all of his speeches. His aids brief him via voice mail. He will be the first blind governor in US history. That I think is even more remarkable, especially since race is a political issue so diluted it can be lampooned by the Clinton campaign. Ability has not really been an issue in politics. FDR's polio was largely not discussed. A wheel-chair bound Roosevelt must have been a contrast to the barrel chested war hero adventurer Teddy Roosevelt.

But so far, I have heard very few media outlets mention his blindness and his remarkable adaptation to it. Perhaps ability is still a taboo subject. Much like how GOP opposition to Senator Tim Johnson has largely been mute since he suffered a debilitating stroke which he has been recovering from.

Well, media. Get on that please.

I can't believe I forgot this!

Remember Elliot Spitzer's campaign slogan?

"Bring some passion back to Albany"

Comedy gold.

So, in the wee hours of the morning someone set off a small explosive in front of an army recruiting station in Time Square. No one was injured, and the door to the recruiter got smudged up.

The recruiters had been the site of many, many protests of the Iraq war. The logical thing to speculate was that the bomb was related to that. Come on, consider the location, its history, the political climate. Even take into account the magnitude of the explosion, or the lack there of, and the time chosen.

Then why have I heard three separate news casts, and read a smattering of headlines that assume this was an act of terrorism? Sure, it was a tiny act of terrorism. But from the way they made it sound Osama Bin Laden himself bought the ammo case at an army surplus store and stuffed it with fizzy 4th of July explosives.

If anything illegal, suspect, or even a little eccentric happens in New York it is automatically linked to the holiest day of the year, 9/11. The state of New York should change its moto from excelsior to "New York: the ZOMG 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 Never Forget, FCNY/NYPD 4EVAH!!!! State."

Can we get over it now?

It is amazing how you can never meet someone, or even be aware of them and still be greatly influenced by them. I had never met Gary Gygax, and didn't even know his name until I was 19. But his influence was very important to me and millions others.

Gary was the creator of Dungeons & Dragons. It was a game I first played in 1992 and with various people played until 1999. But even after that time his influence was still felt. In college I played other role playing games that wouldn't have existed if Gary hadn't created his. My best friends run different role playing games. Games that have no dungeons, no dragons, no dice but are role playing games that wouldn't have existed without Gary. Many hours of my life have been spent playing, enjoying, and thinking about this style of play. Some of my fondest memories are of role playing with my friends.

Gary Gygax died this morning. He had been in poor health for some time. He will be missed.





So long Gary, and thanks for all the Troglodytes

I have a job interview tomorrow for the Smoking Cessation hotline at Roswell. Not because I have any passion concerning smoking or cancer or junk. I just feel bad about (e:Jim) leaving Roswell. We can't let estrip's control over Roswell slip!

I interview well. But I can't get this wry look of awkwardness off my face when wearing a suit. So, I am going to have to put the suit on and pose in front of the bathroom mirror saying things like "never get a job with a tie man, a tie is a noose!" Just to get it out of my system.

Wish my luck.

A classic.

Part of the margharita assignment challenge.

How drunk are YOU!

(e:Drew). I have read the sermons posted on this site and believe you to be a good person and a fine pastor.

But buddy, you can't hold a candle to this man.

When you are out there preaching about social justice, or good community, you are just wasting your breath. You are taking soft, easy issues that please a crowd, but do not enlighten.

He is a preacher that understands that the most pressing issue of our time that only the religious community can take a stand on is the horrible blight of men sitting down while peeing.

Yes. That is what is tearing apart not just this nation, but the whole of humanity.

Listen to a REAL MAN - a man who STANDS UP WHILE PEEING - preach some gospel truth!



Amen!

• Update***

Acording to (e:Drew), there is a trend of men peeing sitting down. To illustrate how this is nothing short of blasphemy here is a clip

Ya damn kids.

When I was a boy we had comics that were actually funny. The Far Side, Calvin and Hobbs, Opus. Those were actually the only three. Peanuts was a little too Christian for my tastes, but occasionally would capture the strange, befuddling awe of a simple man trying to understand an infinitely complex world. But really, more often than not comics just disappointed.

Case and point. Family Circus. The grandfather had a bit part until he died. Now he is in every fucking strip. Disappointment.

But really, I want to talk to you about the brilliance that is Garfield. Jim Davis is a sort of idiot savant. He comics are terrible. They have no crushing moral like Family Circus nor do they ironically poke fun at the genera like Boondocks. No. Garfield sucks. It is the purest insipid garbage.

But imagine Garfield in the hands of William Burroughs. Bill would take scissors to it, rearrange it, and turn crap into alchemic gold! Since he is gone, we now have to rely on machines to do that work for us, and to great effect.




Behold! The Garfield Comic Randomizer!

Now if only it could make Hagar entertaining.