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01/31/08 10:23 - 24ºF - ID#43122


Since bailing out of student teaching I am pleased I didn't go through a week long 'I am a miserable failure let's drink a few years off your life' phase. Rather, I am super glad I did what I did.

So, I have been talking to a career councilor at Buff State. I have been seeing him for a month now, as I was pretty sure I wanted nothing to do with public school education for a while now. Well, I completed a few aptitude and temperament tests two weeks ago and got the rest results back. According to those tests I have an overwhelming aptitude for being an elected official.

So I want to use this moment to announce my candidacy for anything. Anything at all. My platform is as follows.

We will reform X to be superior to the way it was before!

We must end the policy of Y because it increases disparities between working class Americans and demonized institution du jour!

I promise you, in the first 100 days I am in office, I will not shake the hand of any foreigner who does not speak in an outrageous accent. Further more, I will not shake the hand of any member of 80's rock behemoth Foreigner.

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Permalink: Hi.html
Words: 209
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: religion

01/28/08 10:50 - 30ºF - ID#43059

Response to Tony

Tony, I have a book your daughter needs to read.

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Permalink: Response_to_Tony.html
Words: 12
Location: Buffalo, NY

01/26/08 06:34 - 25ºF - ID#43045

State of the Union

Chris Morris is the funniest man alive.

Check out this State of the Union address he spliced together. I peed myself three times watching it.

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Permalink: State_of_the_Union.html
Words: 33
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: politics

01/25/08 08:08 - 23ºF - ID#43034

Boycott Chuck Norris

Now that Grandpa Fred's presidential bid/nap is over what is his staff up to?

Much bigger and more noble work apparently.

A former communications staffer has launched Boycott Chuck Norris to fight the disease which is Chuck Norris.

Chuck has been a very public supporter of whackjob Mike Huckabee. In fact, when the Huckster won the Iowa caucus his wife was not up on stage with him, but Chuck was there.

Huckabee, is fucking crazy. Seriously fucking crazy. He believes in a literal biblical interpretation of reality. There is no evolution and he said if elected he would rewrite the constitution to be in line with god's word. In the early 90's he called for the quarantining of people with AIDS. He has continually likened homosexuality to necrophilia and bestiality.

Chuck is free to get in bed with whomever he wants. But, as the site says

I want you to join me in boycotting all of the products that Chuck Norris endorses and some of the national companies that run advertisements on the show in which he starred and currently rerunning on the USA cable network, Walker, Texas Ranger.

all I got to say is, thanks, 20 years ahead of you on that one.
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Permalink: Boycott_Chuck_Norris.html
Words: 204
Location: Buffalo, NY

01/25/08 03:21 - 23ºF - ID#43031

Deep Breath


Now that I am out of student teaching I have to do a lot of work. I have a part time job that pays well enough and has a very flexible schedule. But the tricky thing is getting a career going.

I know next to nothing about technical writing. But I can explain things to people well and I love to write, so that might be fun. Jim is going to help me put some samples on a web site. I would do things like explain how to use a complex function on the flickr web site. Adding video would be awesome. I was born to be a star! A star who explains how to edit out the face of your ex-wife from photos. In a world full of podcasts why not aim for untold internet stardom and prove Warhol's axiom true.

Telling professional adults that I quit has been mixed. Most have told me it was a good idea, some have told me I should stick it out.

But I never did like to listen to authority figures.

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Permalink: Deep_Breath.html
Words: 181
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: fucking damn it

01/23/08 09:55 - 17ºF - ID#43005

Well, there goes that

I fucking hate student teaching.

We will see if I finish next week.

Then I will beat myself up for the next month and drink too much.

Then, I will do something else.

God damn it what a waste of time.

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Permalink: Well_there_goes_that.html
Words: 41
Location: Buffalo, NY

01/20/08 04:47 - 13ºF - ID#42963

Sick Day


I have a horrible cold. The cold medicine got me through last nights lovely dinner with (e:pmt). I would have loved some sushi, but my palate has gone to hell with this cold. If we had gone to Korean House I am sure some pickled fish heads would have been able to penetrate the phlegm barrier.

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Permalink: Sick_Day.html
Words: 59
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: health

01/15/08 06:40 - 29ºF - ID#42894

Stupid Fucking Doctor

There have been a lot of 'ZOMG my fucking doctor is the lamest lulz' posts over the past couple of months. You would think there are no competent doctors in Buffalo from reading it. So, when I do have a positive experience with a doctor I will let you all know.

But in the meantime...

what a fucking idiot doctor. I spent all of seven minutes with the guy. He walks in, checks my heartbeat and the sound of my lungs, asks if I need any scripts refilled and leaves to write them up.

I didn't have the opportunity to say something like "oh, and while you are here can you please check this giant infected gash oozing pussy slime" or "oh, I got stabbed last night and I stitched it myself, care to take a look?". Just wham, bam, that will be $20 for your copay ma'am.

He doesn't ask me about my diet but proceeds to tell me not to eat things I haven't had in years, like white bread or pasta. This would be like telling a vegetarian to cut red meat out of their diet.

But he pulled out a real show stopper at the end. Apparently, I am too fat and need to lose some weight. Yup, he looks at my height, looks at my weight, walks over to a BMI chart on the wall and declares me over-weight. He is using a useless metric that would declare the beefiest of body builders as obese as the chunkiest opera tenor. (Muscle = fat) = stupid metric used by stupid doctors.

This is the Keleida health place on Hertel. The last time I was there I got a lecture about the use of condoms. When I told the doctor I was monogamously coupled she said I should still use condoms. Because, you know, all gay guys sleep around.

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Permalink: Stupid_Fucking_Doctor.html
Words: 310
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: film

01/10/08 11:09 - 41ºF - ID#42829

I Bring Shame to my Snobbery

I love snobby movies.

I just finished a film noir kick and still can't get the zither music from The Third Man out of my head. A bunch of Hitchcock is due from Netflix soon, but I have my sites on something much different and somehow much more exciting.


so next time someone calls me a snob for hating Transformers, Pirates of the Caribbean, and every Rambo movie ever, I will just remind them that Neil Patrick Harris riding on a unicorn is way better than the words 'rosebud' whispered over a snow globe.
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Permalink: I_Bring_Shame_to_my_Snobbery.html
Words: 96
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: politics

01/08/08 11:14 - 52ºF - ID#42798

New Hampshire let down

Politics is my favorite sport.

Sadly, the New Hampshire primary did not go as I hoped it would have. Very sadly in fact. I started off well enough with a celebratory glass of wine. Then the numbers started coming in. So it went to glasses of gin, gritting my teeth as I drank. The polls disappointed me again.

It takes me back to November of 2004. When I assured all my friends that after months of reading polls America would choose cottage cheese John Kerry over insipid pepper jack Bush.

So I spent that evening at a bar, filled with drag queens and their admirers. Watching the numbers come back in ways they shouldn't have but somehow did.

I hate drag queens. I hate George Bush. And most of all I hate being wrong.


  • edit*

No, I wont let this set back discourage me. For, while I do not want to spend yet another election night drunk and surrounding by drag queens there is a shining glimmer of hope.

For Bill Clinton lost both Iowa and New Hampshire and still came out on top!

And there is but one drag queen who still bestills my heart with her grace and talent.

The one

The only

Dina Martina


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Permalink: New_Hampshire_let_down.html
Words: 217
Location: Buffalo, NY



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