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Category: food

05/18/08 09:15 - ID#44388

What is Wrong with our Fish?

Howdy,

Jim was an absolute doll and took me to Toronto for the weekend. It was such a blast. This was the first time either of us had gone on a vacation without visiting either of our parents. I highly recommend this.
I haven't been to Toronto in ten years. It has changed so much. New skyscrapers are everywhere, absolutely everywhere. We would walk down a street and see a very old period building and then notice a thirty story tower was jutting out of the top. The contrast between old and modern was unnoticeable. I mean, these towers started on the fifth floor and you didn't see them unless you were gawking skywards. Should Buffalo's population trend reverse I would like to see this sort of development.
Toronto is an expensive city. A friend of mine pays 1,200 for a one bedroom and utilities are nearly twice what we pay here. But everything else is cheap, cheap, cheap. Which brings me to the point of this journal.

What is wrong with our fish?

Twice we had sushi. Delicious sushi. As good as the sushi we had at (e:jbeatty)'s Fish Bar (which is the best I have had in town). But for nothing. Twice we had a meal of way too much sushi, where your burps taste like fish hours later, but spent $30 on it. There are what, 2-3 sushi bars in the city of Buffalo? There is a sushi joint on every block in Toronto. Maybe it is a quantity thing. You fly in a half ton of sea urchin and we will cut the price in half.

I don't know what sort of magic they have ensorcelled the fish mongers of the world with, but we need a little bit of that mojo. Spare the chicken wing and spoil the child with delicious fishous!

Thank you Jim
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Category: food

12/05/07 03:48 - ID#42405

Did somebody say Absinthe?

Holy cow?

How did this happen without me knowing? But, aparently, it is now legal to make and buy absinthe! You know, the same substance that turned the unreadable Coleridge into a poet tapped directly into the muse. Well, it is legal now my friends so let us get some glasses, sugar cubes, and some foppish hair!

How would you like to get your hands on a bottle? Oh sure, there is homemade stuff, but it is so alcoholic you would pass out before feeling the effects. Now that a distillery is operational we are good to go!

And now, for the first time in many, many years, let me say that I love America!
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Category: food

10/03/07 01:20 - ID#41472

The Most Disgusting Food Gift Ever

Hi,

You know how you get a song in your head, in this case Last Dance With Mary Jane by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, and then you read a little on wikipedia then 30 minutes later you have followed a giant trail of vaguely related items and find yourself reading about sausage casing?

Well, that happened just now. And check out what treasure was unearthed



image


That is right! From a large distributor you can order sausage casing in the shape of a beer bottle! And this isn't a skimpy little sausage. Oh no, this is 1 1/4 pounds of summer sausage fun my friend.

Think of the hilarity as you whip this bad boy out on your next fishing trip. All your friends will be pawing for a bit of your beer bottle sausage. Hey there fellers, there is more than enough sausage to go around!

Order yours now from the mouthwateringly named Mid-Western Research and Supply Inc.
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Category: food

07/20/07 10:57 - ID#40172

Pope declairs Satan "a total dick"

Sorry about the title, I was on such a roll it just came out.

No, I want to talk about more serious matters: lunch.

I am the only employee of my bosses business. I work in her basement, which isn't as weird as it sounds. But lunch is always interesting.

So I got hungry early because I didn't eat breakfast and I go scouring for lunch stuff. In her basement pantry (which is a shelf placed in the doorway of a bathroom that doesn't work) and I find a can of organic salad beans. The smell coming from this moist, broken bathroom is enough to turn anyone off food for the rest of their whithered days, but I am determined!

I open the sucker up, rinse them off, cut up a little red onion and pour some balsamic on it. But I am feeling a little more haute than that. I look in the fridge and, bingo, capers. I love capers. Salty delicious sacks, yum. So I liberally pile them on, mix it up, and go back to my dungeon to work and eat.

Did you know that they sell green peppercorns bottled in vinegar? Did you know that they look just like capers. Did you know that eating enough peppercorns to buy a dozen slaves (in 1600 money) can make your stomach protest?

I feel like a waiter. After depositing your bibb salad I would offer some fresh ground pepper. With a smile and a nod in the affirmative I would bend over and vomit on that salad. Ah! So savory!

that is all.
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