seriously L - O - N - G freakin' week...
Holiday parties, Work, Birthday Party, Traffic, Lostness in MD, Commuting, Lateness, Oversleeping, Not sleeping, can I say $$$, unfriendly bitchy ass people you can't seem to ditch!, Self Evaluations, Moodiness, Shopping, Lack of Holiday Shopping, Dirty Apartment, way...too much planning of crap to do, grocery shopping to do for holiday dinner yet to be planned, and the list could go on and on & 10 times out of 10 - I might just ignore it!!!

Where the Freak is My Calgon????

Wish I were going to the party tonight... Have Fun!

(Rockwell)

Who's watching
Tell me, who's watching
Who's watching me ?(T)

I'm just an average man
With an average life
I work from nine to five
Hey, hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone
In my average home
But why do I always feel
Like I'm in the twilight zone

And (I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whooooa-oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream

When I come home at night
I bolt the door real tight
People call me on the phone
I'm trying to avoid
But can the people on TV see me
Or am I just paranoid

When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someone standing there
People say I'm crazy
Just a little touched
But maybe showers remind me
Of Psycho too much
That's why

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playin' tricks on me

(Who's watching me)
I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors watching me
(Who's watching)
Well, is the mailman watching me
(Tell me, who's watching)
And I don't feel safe anymore
Oh, what a mess
I wonder who's watching me now
(Who)
The IRS

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Tell me, is it just a dream

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
And I have no privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playin' tricks on me
(Who's watching me)
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Oooooooh
Whooooa-oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
So ? who can it be
(Who's watching me)
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Whooooa-oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playing tricks on me
(Who's watching me)
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Can I have my privacy
Whooooa-oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
Who's playing tricks on me

Quoted from: ROCKWELL lyrics - Somebody's Watching Me

Martinis
"I like a good martini, one or two at the most...
after one I'm under the table,
after two, I'm under the host." - Dorothy Parker


Courtesy of: www.mienyu.com

sometimes findin' comfort is right under yer nose:

In a coffee cup!

traded in my week long sniffles and snooks

for a lil' southern comfort for a lil' southernyankee!


[c][size=m]Good Morning Estrip!!![/size][/c]

Lucky me has been home all week with what appears to be the flu! ick!!!
Being home everyday does seem kinda boring. I guess every other day would be better. Nevertheless, endless hours of sleep, and tv and oh yeah, the medicines, have worn me out! All of the shows on tv are centered around family gatherings, being Turkey season and all...
I don't have any family around and it makes it worse to have to nurse yourself back to health. wah, wah, wah.

So I tried to go to work today but only made it half way down the street before I had to turn around and ended up getting more nutrients from the local food gallery.
After arriving @ the grocers, I discover that they deliver now! I could have stayed in and ordered my theraflu, lemons, & soup online. ALways seen in hindsight I tell 'ya!
Well, $58.17 later & I am still not feeling that much better. I doubt the delivery of health aids would have made me better; just perhaps saved me a penny or two from randomly picked up items - all due to a certain dizzy effect going on in my head.

Turn's out a couple of my friends here also have taken ill also! we have theories: 1 being a poorly ventilated dancing establishment we all attended together; 2 being hot weather, cold weather; 3 being just plain luck of the season!

The sucky part of it really is that this was the last week I would spend in my current work building. I have made a lot of connections/acqaintances here. I would have like to say goodbye to the folks for I will miss greeting them on a daily basis.
Monday I am back out in the boondocks again!
1) 1.5hr commute on Le Metro!!!
2) less sleep
3) less partying (on the weekdays)
4) boringville!!!!

I am such a poor judge of character and behavior.
What goes for some always = trouble for me.
Mother always said you can't do what everyone else does.
Now I realize; but do I?
sucks. sucks. sucks.
now I hate me for it.
sucks. sucks. sucks.

perhaps this was all harder than I anticipated. granted I didn't anticipate any hardship since I was overcome with excitement in the beginning. guess that has fizzled. life is hard. I was always taught to fight back harder. being a sissy who overeats seems much easier : )

I don't deal well with poor decisions.

what do I say?
so much swirling around.
nonsense mostly.
but recurring nonsense.
when does it go away?
what do I have to change?
i hate traitors/backstabbers/assholes!
but then again I put myself right in their path.
i suppose it's almost like standing on the train
tracks waiting for the #2 express (Bronx to Brooklyn)
to run me down.
why this behavior is permitted I have not figured out.
sure, some people don't feel complete with out daily
subjection to humiliation and anything that onsets overall
discouragement. but I don't think I do that.
perhaps I am guilty of it from time to time, but not daily;
or am I simply in denial?
that is definitely an ongoing fear; to live life in denial of things
that are right in front of you and that are ever so clear...
i think people are nice even when they aren't even close to it.
i think there is good in everyone. but what i keep learning the hard
way is that it isn't for me to find the goodness in others.
the hard way = me constantly getting hurt and then being mad
at everyone else (although,a good part of the time this anger which is directed
at the other party(s) is oftentimes highly warranted)
I am tired of putting myself @ risk for the sake of some twisted form of happiness.
true friends are just that: TRUE FRIENDS!!! through good, bad & ugly.
gosh, do I miss my true friends.
I miss meeting people who are truly sincere and recognize your sencerity in turn.
Fake SHit is for punks!!!

[size=xl]Happy Birthday
Sarah!!![/size]
Get Crunk wit it!

Birthday Girls!!! (e:Lilho) (e:Southernyankee) (e:Tina)

Thank you for the lovely Birthday Wishes and Salutations!!!
It made my day! My co workers & friends here were more than gratious as well - 2 Cakes, Candied Apples & Cookies! Not to mention the Champagne, Caviar, & Bottles of Wine~ Yummy!!!

Thanks Again (e:Elmwoodstrip) !

Hope Y'all gets yer boogie on @ (e:Lilho) & (e:Tina)'s Smashing Birthday Party this weekend!!!


Much Love Y'all, Much Love!!

So today is my birthday. It's slightly weird not being around family and old friends like always to whoop it up! Yet I have lots of nice new people ; ) around now.
No plans for today necessarily. I made plans for every day before and after today, just not on this particular day. It will make it an introspective day for me I suppose.
How that differs from most other days, I am not certain;

I miss my mom. She always made birthdays special. Yet again, I am learning to embrace the new of life and just hold dear the memories of yesterday. <insert tear here>
Nothing replaces a birthday hug from Mom.

So I will go on to celebrate my life, my accomplishments, my failures and lessons learned & be greatful for the precious moments and the wonderful people that are a part of it.

Cheers~

ps
Happiest Birthday Day to Miss Tina!!! Thanks Paul & Sarah for the Birthday wish!!!
XOXO,

Southernyankee