Ok, enough whiny mopey stuff.

I just got this in an email... Nothing else to the message, just the title "what would you do?"

Too funny.

So... I'm stuck at work on call, and things are blessedly quiet right now. (I almost hate to write that for fear of jinxing it.) So I am chilling in my call room. Where there is no tv. And god knows studying is a LAST resort. And I can only check my email/estrip so many times... But I did get a "new address" email from a friend from when I was in DC. And that combined with my missed connections with friends over the weekend got me thinking about all my old friends....

So I planted myself on the bed and started scrolling through my phone book, calling all my great old friends that I haven't talked to in months (or years!). I texted one guy "how are you?" only to get "who is this?" in reply. Hmm... guess I've been deleted from his phone. haha. (he was not a great old friend.) Then I called ten people. TEN. Not including my sister. One girl's number isn't even in service any more. And eight of the nine others didn't answer. We'll see if any of them call back, but I'm not holding my breath... But the one guy that actually did answer... well we chatted a little, and it was nice. But he was at work (forgot about the california time difference). Learned that one friend, who got married about 2 years ago (probably the last time I saw him), just almost got divorced, but then reconciled. But then we were talking about another friend's wedding... I knew they were engaged, but hadn't heard anything about a date yet. Andy said he'd just gotten back from the bachelor party... I asked when the wedding is... he said august... I asked "so... have invites gone out?"

Silence

Umm.... yeah......
Sorry Roet.... you're not invited.

Ouch.

I mean I know we've kind of lost touch, and I guess you have to draw a line somewhere... but Adam has always kind of held a special place in my heart... and I'm not even invited??

I started making all those calls to reconnect with friends... but now I feel even more isolated. Sad...

Sigh....

I wish somebody would answer the phone so I don't just have to sit here all night.

Oh look... there goes my pager. :/ That should keep me busy for a while....

later peeps.

-J

Wow... i just got a weird sad-sounding voicemail from a friend that he 'needs to talk to me' but now he's not answering. He sounded like shit. Hope everything's ok...

But anyway that's not why I am writing.

So I never saw my friends this weekend, and still no word from them. Bummer. I know they didn't do it on purpose, and I know how it is to be back home just for a few days and pulled in a thousand directions, but still it stings a little. But I could have been more aggressive about finding them, too, so I guess I'm to blame too.

But it also makes me feel like a jerk for letting it ruin my day. I should control how my day goes, not other people. I should be in charge of my happiness, not them.

So today I had a craving for thai, and invited the boy, but it was too short notice... So we'll do it later this week. Totally reasonable and acceptable. But then rather than mope about the fact that we couldn't have dinner, I just decided to do other things. So I washed my car, inside and out, for the first time in about a year I think. It took about 3 hours. So if it rains soon, I take responsibility, and I apologize. ;) And when I came back inside I had messages on my phone. People called! they want to see me! yay!

So then I decided to do good-for-me things. I wanted to 1: study and 2: see friends. I don't want to be one of these people that ditches her friends as soon as there's a boy in the picture. So I went to spot. But spot pissed me off. It was the first time I had been in AAAGES, and:
1- I got there at 8, and they were closing at 9 (instead of 11.)
2- The kitchen was already closed
3- No spotties working. Just weird girls I didn't recognize, and threesome girl.
4- People were sitting in "my" study seat.

So... I decided to walk across the street to check out the new sushi place, and meet Timika. There was a pretty long wait, and while I was waiting, I chatted with Jason. Then saw a girl walking a really pretty pit bull, which made me think of the boy. (awwww. Barf. i'm a sap.)

So we finally got a perfect table outside, and the weather was just right. What a beautiful night... So we chatted and laughed and caught up and had some yummy dinner...

And then...

I saw someone walking... he looked familiar... wasn't sure... I was practically kicking timika under the table and hissing "drchlorine! drchlorine!" So she looked, and confirmed that it was indeed him. She said "hi david" but maybe a little quietly... and he totally ignored us and walked on. I guess there's a CHANCE he didn't see/hear us- but I think he did.

It was hysterical.

So I had to share.

Ok... guess I will try to call Sad Friend again.

Happy monday, everyone. :)

-J

A gentle request...

If you're "coming home this weekend only!!!!" and "really really want to see [me]!!!!" and I say "would love to see you too, but have to work xyz times" and so we talk about getting a drink thurs, please get in touch earlier than 1am thurs night saying "get your ass to the Pink!!!"

And then when I return your call the next day, and you say "come to a movie with us sunday after brunch!" and I say "ok! sounds like a plan!" and then I sit at home the whole freaking day afraid to go for a bike ride or hang out at spot, or make plans with Mr. Boy b/c you are in town 'just this weekend' and 'really want to see [me]" and I don't want to blow you off, and so finally call you at 4pm to ask "what's the plan?" and you take 2 hours to answer and then just say "erin had to work"- don't be mad when I write a bitchy post and call you crappy friends.

I'm so crabby right now.

I sat on my ass all day, turning down other invites, and missing my last chance to see the first shakespeare play, because I wanted to see my friends that were back in town just for a couple days. And then they totally fucking stand me up.

I bet I'll get a call tonight at 2am saying 'meet us at prespa!'

Not to be an old fart... but I don't usually START my night out at 2am when I have to be at work at 6am the next day.

I love finding out just how much I actually mean to some people. :(

Just makes me feel like an asshole.

On-call saturday plus being stood up and thus wasting sunday would equal "craptastic weekend" but a lovely friday will make me call it a draw.

Hope you peeps had a better weekend than that.

Blah!

-Miss Crabby Pants

If this doesn't make you cry (or at least tug your heartstrings a little) I don't know what will.

(it's a slideshow of what happens to dogs at a shelter that don't get picked up within 3 days.)



too horrible.

Paul what happend to auto-save??

This (my old laptop) doesn't have firefox on it, and safari is doing it's usual crashing trick... Which isn't that big a deal, I just click restore... But this time there is no restore button!

So my post is lost.

Oh well it was too long anyway.

A big treatise on Newport/"Society"/Snobbery and my comfort level (or lack thereof) with my place in the whole thing.

Inspired by the fact that we just had dinner at a snooty place and my parents' friends that we were meeting showed up in a Model T. Like an honest to god 1927 Ford Model T.

And did you know that the "winged lady" (or whatever it's called) hood ornament on a Rolls-Royce now automatically retracts into the grill when the car is turned off as a theft-prevention measure? Well neither did I, until tonight.

Oh yeah and I talked about yummy food.

We made pizza on the grill last night. A huge production, makes a giant mess... but boy is it good.

And I think my whole week will go by and once again I will not make it to the beach. I was planning on going tomorrow, but then Dad said that the "helicopter is available" tomorrow morning. So- screw the beach. Helicopter ride is way cooler!

I took a bunch of pix to share with you guys... though my "document the whole town" mission ran out of steam after a while... will post them when I get back (tomorrow).

that's about it. I love my dogs. I love home, and I love my house and I love seeing my parents. And the boy is pretty fantastic too, and I'm antsy to see him again. :)

See you soon...
-J

(sorry- this ended up much longer than I had planned...)

Well first, Happy 4th everyone! As Carey said- I hope SOMEwhere saved some fireworks for tonight! Mom has a pretty awesome feast planned, for just the three of us- I must admit I'm pretty psyched.

Feels good to be home. Get some quality time with the slobber-monster pups... God I love them. They're still always so happy to see me and eager to please. :) And this is stupid, but I still just love this house. My mom has such a good eye and nice taste... It looks like it came straight out of a magazine. I wish I could do half of what she does. Hope to get to the beach at some point, but it's foggy right now.

I don't think I've ever gone into this story, but about a year ago on a saturday night, my home phone rang around 11:30pm; which always makes me a little nervous, because no one calls that phone. Caller ID shows it's my parents... and it's my Mom. My Dad's sister Nancy had just been killed in a car accident. Some kid, NOT drunk, surprisingly enough, had been going something like 110 as she was turning left out of a housing development onto the main road in her little convertible Rabbit. From what we hear, she died more or less instantly. (although I immediately found myself in trauma-doc mode, asking about her blood pressure and her injuries etc- then realized that even though my dad is a doctor, maybe he doesn't want to talk about whether or not his big sister's aorta was ruptured, vs. her neck broken.)

So that's all very sad and tragic. And I couldn't get off work to go the funeral, which I think is kind of shitty. But the thing is, we just weren't that close to her. We never saw her, and only talked to her on holidays and stuff, when mom would have to remind dad to call all his sisters. Not that they don't get along, but they just all live far apart and have different lives.

Jenny, on the other hand, is my cousin in Chicago- Nancy's daughter. And during my year in Chicago, I got pretty close to her and her family- and I just adore them. And Jenny, obviously, was a little closer to her mother than I was. So she took on the task of managing the estate, dealing with the lawyers, insurance settlements, the trial, all that. So I'm sure it consumed her daily, but the rest of us managed to put it out of our minds and carry on our little lives.

When I saw Jenny in Chicago in May, we talked about it a little bit... it was sad, and touching, to hear her talk about her mom. And I heard a lot of the trial stuff that just astounded me. I hate our legal system sometimes... They tried to claim that he wasn't guilty. When OBVIOUSLY he was. I mean, he was driving a car, recklessly, and killed another person. (he and his passenger were fine, btw.) How can he not be guilty? Well first they tried to say she was depressed and it was suicide. When that didn't work, they said "well yes, we admit she died on the road that night... but you can't prove it was from the accident." Huh? They tried to say she had a fatal heart attack right at that second. Good one, huh?!

But so then apparently they'd had some bad luck with the legal side of things- there was a last-minute change of judge (or something like that)- and the new guy was reputed to be very lenient. The kid finally pleaded guilty. Which means no trial. Which I guess is good. So all that was left was the sentencing. And they told Jenny she didn't have to go. And she said "are you kidding me? That is the only time this kid is going to have to stand up and admit that he killed my mother. You bet your sweet ass I'm going to be there." But they were worried about the sentencing... I guess he could have gotten up to 10 or 20 years or something like that, but at the other end, the lowest possible sentence was ONE DAY in jail. And with the new judge... So Jenny and everyone was steeling for the worst. That he was going to do a day in jail, and walk. So she had decided that she needed to punish him with her words- get up in that courtroom and pull heartstrings and just make him feel like shit- something that will haunt him the rest of his life. I heard some of what she was planning to say- and it wasn't mean or nasty- just heartwrenching. "she was a good nurse and a great friend (etc etc etc) but she was my only mother, and you took that from me" etc.

Sorry, this is getting way too long...

But so the sentencing was last week, and I guess as it got closer they were more realistically thinking he'd get 6 mos in a county holding cell or whatever it's called. And dad told me last night that he got 10 years in a state pen. I guess 8 are eligible for parole, but he will serve at least two.

So... I guess that's good.

But at the same time, I have to say I feel a little bit bad for the guy. His life is never going to be the same. He didn't set out to kill anyone. He's just a stupid young white trash kid showboating around in his POS car....

Well anyway, the good news is, it's all over. I haven't talked to Jenny, but I think she's probably happy with the outcome. And now we can all just put it behind us and move on and let her rest in peace.

Now i'm going to go sit on the front deck, in my pajamas, with a cup of coffee and two dogs snoring at my feet... and get a little studying done, on the anniversary of the birth of our nation. :)

Cheers peeps!
-J

Jesus...

So I just talked to my mom...

But first you need some background. My sister, K, is married to C. C's sister, D, is married to T. T is a cop. They've been married about 14mo.

So my mom just said 'oh!! Did you hear about D and T??'

Apparently D just got a call from some girl, who claimed she'd been sleeping with T right up until that day. D confronted him- he confessed. Says he's a sex addict and apparently has been sleeping with a bunch of the hookers he busts. (he's in the prostitution division or something.)

How terrible.... I can't imagine how she feels right now. First thing she did was go to the doctor and get tested. Then to a therapist. Then to her parents'. Then to the divorce attorney.

And I've met the guy... he seemed great...

Scary. Just when you think you know someone...

(now back to my regularly scheduled daydreaming...)

Ok, I need to be nicer I've decided. I can be too quick to judge, and I bet I'm missing out on a lot of things/people because I don't give them a chance. I am so quick to find one little thing I don't like, and then just eliminate them altogether.

For example... I've known this one girl for a while. Friend of a friend, works in the hospital. She's blonde and gorgeous, so I'm sure in part I'm just being a stupid, jealous, girl... but I just sort of wrote her off as a ditz. I just figure she's the opposite of me. Why? Because she takes time to look nice? That's a stupid reason not to like someone...

Well it turns out she is maybe the nicest, sweetest person in the world. She called me yesterday and said "i know you're working, but I remember you said you haven't been outside of downtown buffalo too much, so I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner by the river tomorrow..." so she picked me up and we went to mississippi mudd's in tonowanda. So we ate and walked by the water and shot the shit... And it was really nice. Oh yeah, and she got me introduced to the hottie at cozumel a while ago (but then he went to alaska [likely story]).

I guess "they" were always right- don't judge a book by its cover. I guess I should take it to heart more often...

A-HA! Me and the Big Cheese himself (my chairman):


A re-creation of my fave pic from the same event last year:


I love those two boys. [one of them may even be a Work Crush... And the other is engaged].

More here:

I really have that "smile for the camera" face down, don't I? sheesh.

It was a pretty fun party, though my dress doesn't look as good in the pix as it did in my head. Alas... However, at least three people totally didn't recognize me. Like people I work with a lot. I walked in with a friend, and Dr. S said hello to him, and TOTALLY ignored me. Then saw me later "oh... Alex! That's you! I didn't recognize you!" Not sure if I should be offended or not. I guess it's good to get cleaned up once in a while.

-J

P.S. New song- Love will tear us apart- Jose Gonzalez