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03/22/06 11:43 - 32ºF - ID#23815

shoutout

So many things are bouncing around my head... May be a little discombobulated if I try to include it all (but since when has that stopped me, right?) ;)

Reading (e:twisted)'s post... makes me jealous. I haven't been to a show in so long... And I love music... I may not always get to stay as current as I'd like, but so much music is so significant to me... Can pull up profound emotions/sensations/memories... Or just makes me shake my ass. I love that. Both versions.
I have been listening to Cake lately. I love Cake. But hadn't listened to them in ages. That is one of the perils of the ipod... I have ripped in all my CDs, plus all the stuff i've bought/downloaded over the last couple years, and now it's almost like I have too much music. I'll want to listen to something, and I get overwhelmed scrolling through, and end up listening to the same '4 star' playlist over and over. Of course, I have only assigned stars to a few hundred songs, so I'm missing out on so much. Like Cake. It was chosen for me the other day. (specifically, the song "love you madly". Hmm.)

So... I think some of my drama may be resolving. Which makes me feel better. Somewhat. Still not great. I have tried to be true to myself, and have TRIED to hurt as few people as possible, as little as possible. And I have at least tried to be honest with everyone involved, as hard as that can be. Blah... Like I said, not thrilled with things, but at least I don't feel like i have an ulcer anymore, so that's good. It's all such new territory to me....

And that got me thinking again about the nature of a blog/journal. On the one hand it's a great place to put your thoughts out there, but on the other hand, as these people go from being just peeps online, to actual friends, it becomes a little harder to post your deep dark secrets etc. But, I decided that I think that the benefits of the 'community' here far outweigh the sacrifices.

I never would have thought of myself a the type to have a journal/blog. I tried to keep a paper journal for a while in college.... but it ended up just being a stupid list of who i had a crush on at the moment. (hmm, come to think of it, I guess not much has changed.) But I don't really fancy myself much of a writer.

But I have a friend from high school, one of the few people from my class that I keep in touch with, and she is a great writer. And she kept a blog for a while. And that was the first one I ever read... So I was thinking that I probably owe this whole journal to her... Well, among other things...

So, this is a little shoutout to my friend E. You're the best. :)

Though if she'll ever see this remains to be seen. Not sure I'm ready to invite the outside world into "my" estrip...

Ok, I'm suddenly deliriously tired, so I'm off to bed...

night peeps!

-J

update- seems i was wrong about being wrong about the beer tasting. maybe it WAS tonight after all. I will get to the bottom of this. But bottom line- sounds like fun, and if it is indeed a monthly thing, we should go next time.


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Category: un-social

03/22/06 03:20 - 32ºF - ID#23814

oops. no soup for me.

Oops, so I'm retarded.

There is no beer tasting at Shango tonight.
Upon second look, the article that said "beer tasting tomorrow"- was posted on JAN 24th.

It's the last wed of every month.

So maybe we can try again NEXT wednesday.

Bummer. I was looking forward to it....

(new song: one million miles, by J Ralph)
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Category: social

03/21/06 08:08 - 30ºF - ID#23813

beer is good

Ok, this is a superquick illegal post from work so I will get to the point.

Just saw in the artvoice that there is beer tasting at Shango tomorrow (wed 3/22). (Shango is "new orleans bistro and wine bar" on main, near UB south campus.)

7-9pm.
10 beers for $10.

Reservations recommended for dinner before or after, but not necessary for just the tasting.
Sounds fun to me...
Any takers?

I'd be down for a meal too- only eaten there once, but it was good. (and it's fun to get all n'awlins nostalgic once in a while.)

Lemme know!

ok peeps i'm out. Maybe i'll come lurk later.
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Category: food

03/18/06 03:55 - 31ºF - ID#23812

grumble grumble

First, Happy Birthday Matthew!!

Next: so not only am I missing tonight's festivities, but I also can't go to this:

"Fine wine, intelligent discussion, shredded Cuban roast over couscous, homemade hummus, haydari [not sure what that one is], grilled eggplant puree, feta & melon, thai cucumbers, berry salad, and a roaring fire. All for just two hours of your time."

Damn work!

Have fun tonight peeps.
Take lots of pictures for me.

-J
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Category: music

03/17/06 08:55 - 32ºF - ID#23811

E-A-T H-O-T D-O-G

Ok, so I like the Faint, but the opening of that song was a little too grating.
So now you get a totally random little ditty about hotdogs.... (The Detroit Cobras, in case anyone is interested).

So I'm wondering if I shouldn't take a little tip from (e:Joshua) and hibernate for a while... at least emotionally... I've been on too much of a rollercoaster lately... pulled in too many directions... work... friends... boys... some good, some very good, some shitty... And I don't do well with uncertainties. Not sure where my priorities do/should lie. Who to put first, when to put myself first, when to say screw it all and just stick my head in the sand. Unfortunately, I can't have my cake and eat it too- I fear there is no easy way out of my mess. Someone will be hurt/alienated, and it may be up to me to decide who. Or, to suck it up- and have it be myself. I repeat- too much drama for this mama. Which is crazy, b/c I HATE drama, and always try to keep things simple. But they never are. I guess that's what being a grownup is all about. I'm not sure I like it... I think I need a week or so at some sort of zen spa. ;)

I am also super-pissed at my work. I want a day off to go to my dad's 60th birthday party in the Outer Banks. Never been there, and it will be a bit of a family reunion. I need ONE measly day off- I want to leave fri and come back sunday, instead of leave sat and come back sunday. So, since I am asking for SO MUCH, I am at everyone's mercy, and have to pick up all the shit. Which means 3 saturdays in a row. That means NO DAYS OFF FOR 4 WEEKS. Not to mention missing Matt's bday. So not fair, but there's nothing I can do about it I don't think. But I was looking forward to the party.

Fuck.

And now all my plans for tonight just fell through.
Goddammit.
That's it, I'm going to bed.
No green beer for me.
No corned beef.
No jackdaw show.
No seeing-my-friend-before-she-goes-to-china-tomorrow.
No Spot.

Hmm, well this post is shot to shit... I had some funny (well at least I thought it was funny) stuff to say, but now I've forgotten it all and am just cranky...

Blah!!

Happy St. Pat's everyone.
And Happy St. Matty's Day, too.

Drink some green beer for me...

-Cranky Kong


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03/15/06 12:23 - 32ºF - ID#23810

not much....

So I wanted to post something because I'm sick of seeing the lone star every time I log in.

But, I'm too tired to form complete sentences and coherent thoughts.

So I just leave you with a new user sound.

"Worked up (so sexual)" by the Faint.
(how can you not love a song about strippers?)
Check it out.

Naptime...

P.s. so mad I can't make it to st. matty's day!
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Category: work

03/10/06 08:28 - 37ºF - ID#23809

Lone Star (warning- kinda gross.)

Ok, so i've been lamenting the fact that Boy I Like, Boy Who Likes Me, and Boy Who Is Not Off-Limits cannot all be same person. And it's totally bumming me out. Everything is always way too complicated...
But then at work today things were put into perspective a little...

Kids, be glad you do not have Hirschsprung's Disease. It is a disease where you colon doesn't have enough nerve cells, so basically you can't shit, and it all just builds up forever. To the point that you have to have your colon removed. (usually as a baby.)

Now, after you take out someone's colon, the shit has to go somewhere, right? Well there are pretty much two options. 1: an ostomy. But shitting in a bag isn't always so socially acceptable. Especially as a kid/teenager. 2: sewing the small intestine to the anus.

We just did the latter on a baby. Well she had an ostomy for a year, and today we took the ostomy down and did the "pull-through".

But to get to the point of this story... as you can imagine, it is kind of hard to sew something to a puckered up little asshole. So some sadistic fuck invented a retractor called the Lone Star. (sick pun, no?) Basically it's like an 8" ring with notches around the edges. And then there are the other parts. Basically SHARP little hooks attached to rubber bands. And you put the SHARP HOOKS in the asshole, and then hook the rubber bands into the notches, in 8 different spots around in a circle, effectively stretched this poor little baby's asshole to about 1.5" wide.

But i must say, it worked brilliantly, and the operation went without a hitch, and now she won't have to shit in a bag anymore. And if we're lucky, she'll even have control of her sphincter tone and won't just shit herself all the time.

Isn't my job great.... ;)

Ok, time for green curry, wine, tv, and some soul-searching... Hopefully not too much crying...

-J

But before I go (since I'm sure you were all holding your breath)- my cupid results.

not sure if i like this, but sadly it's probably fairly accurate-
(but nonetheless I think I will go change my answers to get something I like more.) (but (e:Twisted), at least I'm in good company. You're the closest to me I've seen...)

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.


ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy
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Category: meep

03/09/06 12:20 - 53ºF - ID#23808

scattered

So I don't know what's with me these days...
I just can't seem to get my mind around anything. Can't focus, can't concentrate, don't want to DO anything that I should do...
All I want to do is sleep and lounge around...
And it's not that i'm depressed, I don't think... I'm just... scatterbrained.
My thoughts are all over. Not sure what's right or wrong, what I can or can't do...
I feel like my mind is racing all over, but not really going anywhere...
People are in and out of my life, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about that... In fact I'm pretty sure I'm NOT happy about it.

I have so many good things going on right now, but there's still so much more that I want... And I don't even know if it's reasonable of me... I'm distracted all the time...
I don't know how to act... what to think... if I should talk or not talk.... act or not act... make a move or not... I wish people would just answer my questions and help me out... don't play games, my ass.

I hate feeling all jumbled up like this. Throw me a bone people, please... just a little guidance through this minefield... I feel like everything I do is stepping on SOMEone's toes, or else if I worry about everyone else, i'm not true to myself and MY desires/needs...

And, I'm eating too much and getting fat, and I just found out I have a cavity! I almost cried!! Well not quite, but I am quite dismayed!

nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i guess i'll go eat worms...
[that's a children's song before anyone gets too worried.]

Blah...

Distractedly,
-Eeyore
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Category: hotel

03/07/06 12:53 - 31ºF - ID#23807

ok, i'll weigh in.

(originally posted as a comment to (e:enknot)'s comment on (e:leetee)'s journal [sorry, don't know how to do the links]- but he said (forgive me for paraphrasing) something about not wanting to see the anchor businesses of a thriving business section demolished.)

Oh, I am so sick of this topic, but I can't let this one go by.

ANCHOR businesses? THRIVING business section?
Correct me if I am wrong, but the shops in question are a clothing store, a video store, a head shop, and something else... tattoo parlor?
Now, I will readily admit I have never been in any of those. For several reasons. 1- I am too busy, and don't go ANYwhere (i've been here almost two years and haven't seen the freaking FALLS yet). 2- I'm not currently in the market for tattoos or bongs (though I don't have a problem with either). 3- the stores are rundown and unappealing and don't make me WANT to go in. And if these stores are so "thriving", why don't they fix themselves up? i.e. try not to look like shitholes. (blah blah blah, I don't want to hear about mobius). Appearances aren't everything, but they do not LOOK like "successful" businesses, they look like "barely scraping by off college students' beer money" businesses. You get the feeling they are only there b/c it is the cheapest real estate in town. Not exactly what I look for in a business to patronize. If I want to go clothes shopping, I can walk just a few blocks down elmwood and go to any of the numerous attractive, interesting, local stores down there.
Frankly, I personally (and by "I" I mean myself and any family/friends that may visit me) would be much more likely to patronize a hotel/retail building on that corner than what is there right now. And if you think that makes me some corporate sellout snob who wants to see elmwood yuppified and turned into williamsville, well you're simply wrong.

And finally- if those crappy buildings (again, I don't want to hear about the how fact that they're crappy is Mobius' fault) are the "anchors" of this end of the elmwood strip, then god help us, we are in DIRE need of a makeover. I'm not saying a monster hotel is the answer. And I support local businesses and don't want to see them put replaced with Gap and Blockbuster. And Dragonfire I'm sorry your house is in danger. But we all say we want what is "good" for the neighborhood. And good for the NEIGHBORHOOD (increased pedestrian traffic, more money spent, better word of mouth, etc) may not be the same as what is good for YOU (status quo, cheap rent, crappy buildings.) If we want things to change and improve, we have to at least CONSIDER, well- change and improvement, rather than just screaming 'no hotel no hotel i won't stay in it thus no one will thus it is bad!'

phew. ok. i hope that is all i have to say on this matter.

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03/06/06 10:04 - 27ºF - ID#23806

headphones, anyone?

God I'm an asshole sometimes.

So my old ipod headphones died. So I wanted new ones. Not total pieces of crap, but not like $400 things either. So I decided to order two pairs with the thought that I'd try them out, and send one back. So I got some from Shure, and some Sonys. Both sound fine, but the Shures are way more comfortable. (and way more expensive too. oh well.) So I put the sonys on the shelf, and put 'send back headphones' on my to-do list. Finally went to do it today- I had to have done it within 2 weeks. (they were shipped 1/21). And I needed an RMA number. And there was a 10% restocking fee. Doh, my procrastination bites me in the ass again.

Ok, the point of this stupid boring post is that I have a set of half-decent headphones sitting here if anyone is interested....
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