Ok, I feel like killing a little time so I'll fill out ladycroft's survey.

But first a disclaimer- though I do spend more time online than i probably should, I have not in fact been online since yesterday- somehow estrip won't let me logout though, and it says i've been on since then. Hmm.

I think I might have to marry the man in the Pharmacy downstairs.
You would think that, being in the middle of a hospital, i.e. a place whose purpose is to dispense medicine, it would be possible to get some cold medicine. Well you would be wrong. It's like fort knox down there. Despite having taken 48hr worth of claritin/sudafed/aleve in the last 8 hours, I am still miserable. My eyes are watering, my nose won't stop running, I've been through 2 mini boxes of kleenex, and my hands are about to fall off they're so dry and chapped from using that alcohol handwash stuff. There is an eckerd around the corner, but I haven't had enough time to make a run. The pharmacy shot me down when I asked them to help me out, saying that I'm not in the computer as a patient, so I can't have meds. I told them I would pay for them. It's not even prescription medicine, for chrissakes! So I finally went into the bowels of the scary basement, where the pharmacy tech took pity on me and gave me a bottle of Afrin "under the table". I think I love him. As should the rest of the hospital, because I'm sure my sniffling is almost as annoying to them as it is to me.

But anyway, onto my survey...

Where were you when 2005 began?
Took me a minute to answer this one- I thought "my god, I can't even remember new year's last year! what did I do?!" And then I remembered- I spent it in the hospital on call.

Who were you with?
sick people.

Where will you be (were you) when 2005 ends?
NOT in the hospital!! Ha!
I ended up at a mediocre party. Didn't have to deal with people being smoochy, at least.

Whom will you be (were you) with when 2005 ends?
Med/law students, mostly.

Was 2005 a good year for you?
eh... It was my first year in Buffalo. I spent most of it at work. And I spent (wasted?) the majority of what little free time I have in what I realize only now, was a pretty bad relationship.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Hmm... my sister's wedding was pretty great. For it's own sake- it was beautiful, she was beaming, etc. But also because the looks on people's faces when they saw me for the first time in years (minus 25 lb) was wonderful. I am still getting compliments months later, which feels great.

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Had a few deaths in the family... one sudden and tragic (but not a very close relative), one that we knew was coming...
But the one that hurt the most was being dumped- because I was upset that he wouldn't go to dinner with me on my first night off in ages, because he wanted to watch lost, even though we were tivo-ing it. So he dumped me. After 10mos together. Because I was disappointed that we couldn't have dinner together. LAME.

Did you keep your New Year resolutions of 2005?
I wasn't a new year's resolution, but I vowed to lose weight for the wedding, and I did. Still have a little more to go, but I'm making progress.

Do you have any New Year resolutions for 2006?
eh... get back on a diet. Stop letting boy-drama control my life.

Did you fall in love in 2005?
I thought so at the time...

Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
vice versa

Did you make any new friends in 2005?
definitely

What was your favorite month of 2005?
eh... they're all kind of the same. Maybe january, since I escaped buffalo winter and escaped somewhere warm for a while.

Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
I wish. Canada doesn't really count, and St. Thomas is technically part of the US.

How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
Let me think. New York. Rhode Island. Connecticut. Massachusetts. Kansas. Illinois. I guess that's it.

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
Aunt Nancy and Aunt Nina.

Did you miss anybody in the past year?
yeah... a lot. I never get to see my family, and I miss my friends from college/med school/chicago

What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
god i can't even remember what I saw...... maybe napolean dynamite? I'm sure I saw something a little more intellectual than that, but that's the one that sticks in my head.

What was your favorite song from 2005?
I can't pick just one!

What was your favorite album from 2005? Maybe the Garden State Sndtrk.
Lots of new fave bands this year- Killers, Modest Mouse, Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand, The Shins, Death Cab, The Postal Service, Feist...

How many concerts did you see in 2005?
Just one, but it was a good one. (U2)

Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
see above

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
not as much as in college...

Did you do drugs in 2005?
barely. maybe not at all, can't remember the last time.

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Yeah... I let my insecurities get to me and invaded someone's privacy. Which someone did to me before, and it sucked, and I promised never to do it.

What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
"I care about you more than you could possibly know, I imagine our future together blah blah blah bullshit"

Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
I don't think so. He does.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
I think so. He doesn't.

What was your proudest moment of 2005?
Well there have been some small work victories. And the weight loss is a big one.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
Not telling.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
All those times I told myself things would get better, he'd love me back, if I just kept trying... Should have just cut my losses early.

What are your plans for 2006?
Do well at work.
Study more.
Exercise more.
Watch less tv.
Get back on a diet.
visit/reconnect with old friends. And new ones!
Take control of my life and stop letting boys treat me badly and make me feel badly about myself.
Plan a fantastic vacation for my birthday (30th, gasp!)

whew... that was exhausting!

-J

Well I tried to send a pic of all the champagne empties, but something isn't working.

But I also wanted to clarify:
That last post was the lyrics to the song "Somebody" by depeche mode. i guess that was not obvious. Sorry. I take no credit for it.
(and for the record if I had, I'd replace the "she"s with "he".)

Well, happy 2006 everyone.
It's past my bedtime.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

Couldn't say it any better myself.

Happy 2006 peeps!
Hope it's even better than 2005, and that it brings you all that you want.

-J

I really don't know what it is about me that I seem to attract all this ridiculous scandal into my life... Talking to my friends- they do not have any of these crazy stories, and marvel at mine. Saw a totally hot guy at Mother's last night, and then it got better- he walked over to my group and said hi to my friend- he knew her! I was sure I had an in... But no. No introduction, and he spent the rest of the night flirting with about 5 girls who looked about 19. I find it kind of amusing to watch these girls out... They get all dressed up and think they look so hot, and they are pretty girls, I'm not denying that, but I wonder if they have any clue that they all look exactly the same. Four of them standing there with flat-ironed brownish-blondish below-the-shoulder length shiny hair in low-rise jeans and pointy stilettos and silk camisoles. All just variations on a theme. The only difference is the color of the top, and how much cleavage they are showing. ("a lot" vs "indecent"). But hell, maybe they're on to something because it seems to work and they are the ones that got my hot guy. Sigh.

Saw Jackdaw last night in South Buffalo, at Swannie House. Always a fun show. But there were YOUNG kids there, I'd guess 15, drinking at the bar. A little disturbing. And it was so crowded that we took our wings upstairs to eat (I swear they have the best wings in Buffalo. Hell, best wings anywhere.). But apparently while upstairs we missed a fight. Beer bottles and all. Fantastic. Then went to Mother's. Saw Work Crush #2 there. First thing he asked me was if I was drunk, which is a little embarrassing, because I didn't think I was... But he told me that he and another guy from work were talking about how well I dress. I'm not sure I agree, but I'll take the compliment, especially from him since he may be the best-dressed man I know.

Also saw work crush 1 yesterday- i had my back to the door and he walked up and gave me a little scratch on the shoulder... Damn that wife of his! I could so fall for him.

But now my dilemma for the day...
Is it more depressing to spend new year's alone at a party, watching the happy couples kiss at midnight, wishing I had someone- or just staying home.
Haven't decided yet. Working at 7a tomorrow, so it's not like it would be a crazy night in any case.

Well I have suddenly decided that my fishtank is too small. And since I am all about instant gratification, I have decided that I need a new one. NOW. So I'm off to petsmart.

Happy new year, all!

Ahh, south buffalo literacy... (and LC what's your number?)

just a little public service announcement...

First, I extend my deepest sympathy and empathy to those poor souls suffering from abscesses of any form, but especially gluteal/perirectal/buttock ones. They are excruciatingly painful, not to mention the humiliation of having 10 people examine your ass. Then you have to go through the painful, stinky procedure of having them drained. Not fun for anyone involved.

BUT, if for whatever reason you choose to wait until 1 am to come to the ER with ass pain- at least remove the shitballs that are dangling from your ass hairs.
Losing precious hours of sleep for ass pus is unpleasant enough without dingleberries getting in the way. Oh yeah, and don't wear underwear with skidmarks. Didn't anyone else's mom always yell about wearing clean underwear "in case you have an accident and end up in the emergency room" or was it just mine?

My apologies if anyone needs to go vomit now.

I am going to try to get some sleep.

-J

A little belated, but finally got the pix out of my camera.


My cute crooked christmas tree (wish I had a lit-up night shot though)





and totally unrelated, but just a shot that I like. :)

You probably shouldn't bother reading this, as I am just ranting and whining.

I am a resident. That means I have finished medical school. I have MD after my name. I.e. I can call myself Doctor. Residency is specialty training. When I finish residency, I will be an attending. So residents are sort of limbo doctors. We rechnically are doctors, but we're still in training. But we are the cheap labor of the medical field.
I work a 30hr shift every third night. I work 80-100 hrs per week. My hourly wage is barely over minimum wage. (but it's not like it matters since there's no time to spend the money anyway-ha.) I had christmas day off. I worked christmas eve, and I'm working overnight tonight. I have new year's eve off, but have to be at work at 6am on 1/1. But that's not what I'm complaining about. I love my job, and I knew what I was getting into when I started. Sure I get tired and I'll bitch and moan about the ER killing me, but at the end of the day, there's nothing I'd rather do. It's the coolest job in the world.

Just saw a kid in the ER. It's almost 2:30am. I have to start tomorrow's work at 4am. I'd love to get a little sleep in there. But on the way back from the ER, I went by the Doctors' Lounge, where there is a coffee machine. Not much else. A bathroom, a table, a couch, and a coffee machine. Only to be greeted by a big nasty sign saying that residents are no longer allowed in the Doctor's Lounge. Apparently they don't consider us doctors.
Apparently we drank too much coffee.

What a bunch of bullshit. I mean really. How much could that industrial food service coffee cost? say an extra $20/month. Is morale not worth anything? We practically LIVE in the fucking hospital. We do the lion's share of the work that keeps this place running. Along with the nurses. And we're no longer allowed the one little perk we had- a free cup of terrible coffee? There are tons of nurses' lounges. There is no "residents' lounge". Not like we have much lounge time, but I used to enjoy being able to take a 10 min to get a cup of coffee once or twice a week. And they don't think we are worth even that.

Bogus!!!

And now for something completely different...

In case there are any guys out there that read this, you are probably sick of hearing me bitch and moan about boys.

So I have a techno question for you.

I need some new headphones for my ipod, and much to my surprise my dad didn't get me any for christmas. (yes, I'm a spoiled brat daddy's girl. sorry.)
I am not a huge audiophile- i.e. the ones that it coems with SOUND ok to me, they're just uncomfortable and don't stay in my ears.
So I want something decent, but I don't need $300 headphones. But I don't want $2 pieces of crap either.
I had the Apple in-ear ones, and they were ok (and they matched, since that's SO important), but they didn't stay in that well either. And then they died- I only get side from the L now.

So, anyone have any suggestions?
I hear Shure is good... but I think pricey...

Thanks!

That's it.
Ex-boyfriend is done with. Over and gone. I cannot talk to him any more.
Please make me stick to this.
Schmuck couldn't even wish me a Merry Christmas.
Last straw.
Enough is enough.
He is bad for me.