For three years, I have been on this site, using rhetoric as a means to an end, sometimes to make a point forcefully, other times to give the soft touch to an issue that commands some delicacy.

By now, anyone who has been reading me, or anyone who has ever met me face to face, should know exactly what the shtick is. I am not so naive or presumptuous as to assume that any of you are like your blog, because we use it in different ways. For me, it's a way to blow off steam and have fun. 85% of it has always been tongue in cheek.

Now, just because some of you don't get the shtick, does not mean that I am open to you policing what I write. You know how I feel about that. I don't feel the pathological need to police what I feel are bullshit, nonsense opinions, otherwise I would quickly suffocate every single post I see that even has a whiff of politics involved. I leave you alone most of the time. I'm a live and let live kind of guy nowadays.

So, please, for God's sake, leave your embarrassing "Grow up" and your assumptions about what kind of women I attract, or comments about what I honestly think and feel locked up in the basement where it belongs. I don't particularly give a shit, respect, or lend any credibility at all to that, for good reason. Most of the time I'm just doing what I always do, use rhetoric as one of the many tools in the bag to get my point across.

I'm trying to be diplomatic here, and not resorting to dropping a 2 ton verbal sledgehammer, which I most certainly will do ad nauseum if this bullshit persists. I have opened myself up completely two times when it comes to women, once with a letter to my friend Janine, which I promptly deleted the day after when I was horrified that I wrote it publicly, and the second time being a recent letter I wrote targeting my ex Nicole, which was dripping with grief, when I addressed my disappearance from her life completely.

I know damn well how women behave during dating - I DATE WOMEN. I know that the generalizations do not apply, and I know that people who don't date women will never get the jokes I make about the dating game. I know that what I write is not technically correct. That's not the point, and it never has been. If I want to blow off steam, just like the rest of you do when you talk about what people are wearing, what they should be driving, what they should be cleaning with, who they should be voting for, why guys keep on disappearing from their lives, then I am going to do it.

Well people, just thought I would follow up on our local boy Neil Haskell.

First, I have to clear this up, I have never watched and will never watch the show. Dance ain't my thing, but I root for the local peeps whenever possible. I saw on Yahoo today that another person won it. =(

I figure even though our local guy didn't win, he probably will be able to parlay this into something lucrative. Probably some more Broadway gigs. Who knows. Good for you, Neil!

Well, my beaten-up-ass car could finally be on the outs. Maybe.

Broke down yesterday on the way home from Gordon's, engine rattling, coolant pissing all over the parking lot where Jerry and I put it after it quit.

Basically, without boring you with the details, it's a $500 fix, unless the valves are bent as a result of the issues my car has, in which it is $1500 (LOL) and I might as well just try to find a new car.

Mechanic is going to call me back once he knows more. I have been here in the office, hands shaking, unable to think about anything else. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, it is just the 500 and I will have my car back tomorrow sometime.

Josh is in the TO, and won't be home until tomorrow, so I'm home alone for once, which would be great if I wasn't freaking out.

Either way, whether my car is dead or alive, I'll have to deal with it and move on with life.

Jason

Went to the Tralf last night. Saw Band of Horses. You know, I liked seeing them live compared to listening to their recording, where the vocals are so dripping with effects that I couldn't gauge whether the guy was hiding a shitty voice or not. Well, turns out the guy has a hell of a voice, an instrument, compared with someone who just holds a tune well. Very cool.

I went with Jerry and a girl (we'll just call her "A"), but I never felt like the third wheel, even when they were cheek to cheek, being all cutesy.

I have been sort of down on this girl, even though she is very sweet, and very down to earth. Not to mention the two of them have many shared interests. The thing is she has been a flake on occasion, not answering the phone sometimes, not calling back sometimes. Lately things have been turning around in a big way. Reading the body language last night, it seemed like they were into each other, teasing one another and whatnot.

Sure enough, when I got into the office last night, I got a phone call from Jerry after he got home. He said that A told him that she wasn't looking for anything serious, that she may be going away to Grad School, and yet she really likes him. YAWNBOMB. Yeah, A, you might have mentioned that before you started actually dating the guy, and accepting his generosity. I know for a fact that if she had been up front with him right away, he would NOT have wasted his time and money, especially on someone who is keeping it in her pants.

THIS is why doing it the right way is so not worth it most of the time. You just end up getting taken advantage of. I feel really badly for Jerry, even though I'm sure he has not exactly been up front with people on occasion as well. Things do come full circle. However, I really hoped that this would work out for Jerry, because I want my buddy to have a girlfriend he really likes. If he's happy I'm happy.

He said, well, looks like it's time to sleep it off and forget about it. Man I wish I could be like that. I hope he means it.

And yet I feel like I can't say them to anyone.

BOLLOX TO LIVERPOOL!!!

I thought about when I would next write in my journal, and for a while there I really didn't feel like writing anymore. I appreciate a joke just like everyone else, but I wasn't really expecting to have my hopes played with in that way. Really sort of makes me not want to be such an agreeable guy anymore and reverting to stone cold dickhead Jason, who everyone likes more anyway.

In fact, I wonder anymore if having a bad attitude is an issue. There are plenty of people out there who have absolute garbage attitudes about life, who toy with emotions, act like entitled snots, behave like hypocrites, never grow up, and seemingly they get plenty of ass and plenty of joy out of life. Maybe I'm just having a bad mood.

I just wrote a fairly large rant that I have to say was high quality, but I had to delete it. I feel good enough just getting certain things off my chest, reading it, then getting rid of it. Want the gist? Being classy has to do with who you are, not what you wear, what you drink, where you hang out, and who you hang out with. That stuff is just superficial bullshit, and only a total fucking idiot could lick her friend's tit, suck off the doorman, put the pics up on MySpace, and then claim she is classy because of the outfit she wore or the martini she was drinking. So many girls are straight up DIRT but pretend to be classy. Ish Ish Ish Ish.

Maybe this can actually be productive, and we can finally admit what is Classy, versus what is Klassy.

Straight off of the front page of the Snooze, something I've addressed before, and am about to revisit: The way boys lag behind in education, from the cradle to graduation, due to weird social engineering practices.



Well, the instant you try to say there is an inherent difference between boys and girls, the PC crowd gasps and the Rad-Fems start burning bras. Larry Summers got ambushed, castigated, and kicked out of Harvard for such a thing. People are now, at a trickle, starting to understand this stuff as basic fact, especially when the results don't match the intent, much to the chagrin of the social engineers.

I'm not all that convinced that schools are actually going to do anything about it. They ask why the results are the way they are, give themselves the answer, and then ask what the answer is all over again, all in the same article!

I don't think there is any feasible way to help the situation right now. The social climate has to be corrected first, and that is almost an impossible hurdle to overcome. Nobody is ever going to believe that little boys are getting screwed over, no matter how many simple, black-and-white facts you give to them. Boys are savage brutes, from birth till death, they're just not willing to learn like girls learn, they're not willing to put in the effort to be like girls, and that's all you need to know.

Maybe the schools will surprise me. Maybe. I doubt it. Whenever you do something to help boys, you are charged with trying to screw over girls. The political implications are impossible to ignore.

Here are some possible future implications of this trend:
1) Far less Marriages overall in America
2) Men have less money, but forced to keep all social expectations
3) Lots of single 35 year old women (Where's my Mr. Big? Waah.)
4) Nice, stable crime and incarceration rates for males
5) Even wider gender gaps in college and post-grad admissions
6) Worst of all, more boys may give up entirely on education

Well, who cares I guess? It's only little boys who are getting the short end. We can just shuffle them off to prison, or to trade school for jobs that are going to Mexico. Yay boys!

Oh. Em. Gee. We went to Allentown tonight, and I saw this horrible vision of hipsters, wannabe trophy wives (the same whores who you see at Cecelia's every Monday), and various hangers-on from across the street. I think the place was called Sample, the same joint (based upon numerous e-strip reviews) famed for their underwhelming martinis. Holy shit. Holy shit. And there seem to also be some other new joints that cater to those pencildicks too, scattered along Allen and whatnot. We need another martini bar like we need a colonoscopy, or a brain tumor, or a knife through the penis.

Now, us being us, we went straight for the Pink, which thank Jeebus is still the most interesting place to witness various types of foul behavior, and we weren't disappointed. Drug dealers, let me tell you right now, when you hand off a "cigarette box" to another person, we all know you aren't passing cigarettes, you coke-polluted twats. We also know that girl you're with isn't with you because of your charm. Okay, I know I'm being harsh here, okay, and the targets are far too easy. Shit, alright, I'll stop.

We kicked much ass on the dart board, confirming our ownership of the dart board at the Pink. Oh, it was so gratifying, dickhead whispering bullshit into my ear like "Oh, that was good" after I missed my bullseye attempts. Sure, I'll put two in my pocket, keep one, and win the game on you assholes. Oh lord. Yeah, maybe next time fellas!

Good night!

Looking back a year or so, I've changed a lot. I found my center. I found motivation to roll with the punches and come out on top. Instead of not even wanting to get out of bed in the morning, I want to go out and live.

I've come really far. I've had to isolate myself, which some of you may not understand. It may have seemed weird, odd, flaky, but how many of you have ever had to ask the question "Who are you?" and force yourself to be alone to figure it out? Even though I feel like I've done well, and I have something to be proud of, it feels to me like I've only taken a step and there is an endless path ahead of me.

Now, it is just lonely. I haven't seen some of you in so long, and others I have always wanted to meet but it just hasn't happened. I felt alone even when I had a girlfriend. She didn't get me, and deep down I didn't want her to. A year from now I want to bury some demons for good. I've come pretty far up until now, and will I be a super hero in another year's time? No, but maybe it is okay to just be a super hero to one person.

I want to be happy. I want to be safe. I want I want I want. I need I need I need. Please God just give me one glimpse of daylight and I promise I'll turn it into a sunny day, every day, no matter how tough things get.

I'm gonna LIVE, y'all!