Just a few quick things:

1) The job is going fine. So far I like it. It is by far the most professional and organized company I've worked for up to this date.

2) I'm still constantly thinking about how people become happy. I've learned cash has nothing to do with it. Now, don't get me wrong, cash can and will do many things for you. It will get you nice things, and a gorgeous girlfriend. It will not however make me or anyone else happy. People are always looking for something, and are always replacing real happiness with the transitory kind that comes from getting a new gadget or fucking some random chick. I'm still searching but I'm on my way.

3) I have to now shave and shower and dress nicely every day for my job, and I do believe it has a positive effect on how I carry myself, and how I feel about myself.

4) Finally there is a new upstairs neighbor. I met her yesterday. I think she'll fit in well at the house. Oh yeah, it also helps that she is extremely easy on the eyes, and has friends, blonde friends (now don't you brunettes start whining to me - I'm swedish). The evil son of a bitch that I am suppressing wants to prowl but it's probably not the wisest choice at this time.

And, no, I'm not talking about the very awesome Chicago song.

In case anyone wondered, I got the job in Grand Island. It sounds like a challenging and interesting job. I'm going to get a lot of experience in Visual Basic. Finally I will have benefits again, and I am making the same amount of money as I did before, which is great. I don't start until October 2nd, so I still have to bridge the gap in terms of finances, but at least I know I'm not going to be poor forever.

It's been a rough year, but I always felt that as long as I stayed positive and did my due diligence that things would be fine. It is very difficult to stay positive sometimes, especially for me, but the proof was in the end result.

I want to thank Lee and Timika for being in my corner - have no doubt that I drew strength from you, and it is much appreciated. I'm not out of the woods yet - I still have to find out how much I've improved since I went in and out of therapy. There are still things about me that I know have to change if I'm going to continue on this run. I got a call from my Uncle telling me how my family is proud of what I've done since January. I don't tear up a lot but I really had to fend it off during that phone call.

This is just one part of my improvement. It's an important part, no doubt, but I still have to become more of a reliable person overall. I still have to be better. I freely admit there are some ugly things about Jason, but at least I know about them and want to change.

I'm looking forward to PMT's housewarming party. I can't believe it's been almost a year since the Halloween party. Meeting Twisted is going to be cool. Partying with you all is going to be a lot of fun. It is a very humbling and gratifying experience to have people who don't know you so well, but still feel comfortable enough to talk about their lives and experiences freely. It feels great. It lets me know that I'm developing into a better person, instead of remaining the evil son a bitch that I've been on occasion.

I found a really cool piece of software that facilitates the creation of a podcast, and the coolest part is that it's free. It also has a lot of features. I think I'm going to be able to create some interesting things with Josh's help. Larson vs. Larson isn't all that far off.

PEACE.

Roughly translated from what my Uncle told me.

When you walked outside today, did you step on an ant?

You don't know?

If you did, can you say that the ant was a bad ant and deserved it?

You don't know?

If you did, it was an accident, and you can mourn for the ant but you can't say anything so bad about yourself because you honestly didn't know.

Sometimes, people (or other beings) are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And something was different. I wish I could put my finger on it.

But all I can tell you is that when I woke up I felt like a different person. It was very powerful, almost as if my personal storm clouds parted, at least for now. I'm very thankful, even if it is only for a day.

Yes, another excursion into poisonous popular culture by the abnormally spot-on Jason.

Madrid banned models with a Body Mass Index below 18 from strutting their stuff in a major fashion show. Here's the link from Yahoo News:

Here's the picture from the article. Feast your eyes on THIS!


Hubba hubba! Notice the stick-like features and the hair! I call it "Bird's Nest Chic."

Now I can't speak for all men, because I do know at least one guy who likes their women this way, but I'm almost certain guys don't like women with the body of a stray animal. I'm just sayin.

Who was the person who looked at a 90 pound model and said "Yeah, that's HOT?" No guy I know would find this the least bit appetizing, let alone subject themselves to the maintenance costs, including the raging cocaine, scotch and cig habits. I can only assume it was a self-hating woman.

And I also have to question whether women REALLY aspire to this. I mean, that's what everybody is saying, that models are looked up to (God knows why), and that they have undue influence on young people. There is being fit, there is looking good, and then there is looking like Gandhi. NOT HOT!

Partisan double standards, and fictionalizing for profit

The current flap over the upcoming ABC docudrama The Path to 9/11 is a textbook case of partisan hypocrisy. And that label applies to liberal and conservatives alike.

Let's start with the liberals -- not all liberals, of course; I am referring to activists and bloggers -- since they're the ones who are ticked off at ABC. Their outrage is directed at various fictionalizations of the 9/11 saga that the Hollywood types have either dreamed up or improvised. These scenes apparently depict Bill Clinton's national security team as being less than vigilant about the growing threat of Osama bin Laden during the late '90s. Infuriated liberal activists are currently demanding that ABC either shelve those scenes -- or cancel the five-hour miniseries in its entirety. (And a new report in Variety says that outright cancellation is still possible.)

Looking at this case on the merits, it's clear that the liberal camp does have a legitimate beef; even ABC has admitted taking some dramatic liberties with the known facts. But I don't recall the liberal camp acting with similar concern back in 2003, when a CBS docudrama about Ronald Reagan was planning to take some dramatic liberties in its depiction of the former president.

Quite the contrary, in fact. Liberals thought that the Reagan show should air just as the miniseries producers intended it to air -- in the name of freedom of speech. And when conservative activists, led by the Republican National Committee, went after CBS and demanded (in the end, successfully) that the network dump the show, liberals were outraged that there could be such an assault on free expression.

People for the American Way railed in a press release about "right-wing thought police," and Barbra Streisand (whose husband was playing Reagan) wrote on Nov. 4, 2003, "I don't believe Democrats often, if ever, try to muscle the First Amendment like this....This (conservative effort) is censorship, pure and simple." But now that liberals are going after ABC for taking similar liberties with Clinton, I don't hear her, or other famed Friends of Bill, sounding any concerns about "censorship."

Most conservatives, however, are also selective in their outrage. They don't seem very concerned that the Hollywood types (whom they generally dislike) have filmed fictionalized scenes that depict a former president in a negative light. In fact, they've barely said anything at all, content instead to chuckle at the liberals' discomfiture.

Yet the scene was very different in October 2003, when they were so outraged that Hollywood had filmed fictionalizeed scenes depicting their favorite former president in a negative light. Back then, when a major network acted in this fashion, it was viewed as fresh evidence of liberal-media perfidy.

As Ed Morrow of the National Review said, "Attempts to distort our history must be resisted. Historical truth is simply too valuable to be made a plaything for biased filmmakers rewriting it to fit their politics." And Ed Gillespie, the Republican party chairman, said on MSNBC that "there's infotainment and docudrama and reality TV and the lines between fact and fiction blur. That's fine when it's entertainment, but when you're talking about...the Reagan legacy formation, I think that it's important that we get things right."

Where's the plea from Gillespie today, demanding that ABC "gets things right" about the Clinton legacy?

Actually, some conservatives have spotted the double standard, and they have copped to it. Commentator Jonah Goldberg: "A pox on everybody...(C)onservatives howled in outrage (in 2003), and got CBS to drop it. Why shouldn't liberals have a go at the same thing?" James Taranto at the Wall Street Journal website wrote the other day, "The Clintonites may have a point here. A few years ago, when the shoe was on the other foot, we were happy to see CBS scotch The Reagans."

I could just leave the issue here, having made the argument about partisan hypocrisy. But that's not the root problem. Actually, it was Gillespie, in the service of his partisan argument, who identified the root problem when he mentioned the rise of infotainment and the blurring between fact and fiction.

The networks have opened themselves up to these kinds of partisan attacks by embracing the docudrama format, apparently in the belief that mass audiences aren't interested in history unless actors read the lines and scripts contain the dramatic "beats" that work best between commercial breaks. There once was a time when vital issues, such as the road to 9/11, would have been explored at length in news-division documentaries that aired in prime time -- I can remember NBC White Paper and CBS Reports; Edward R. Murrow came earlier -- but that format was not deemed sufficiently profitable, so it was dropped.

But now that the networks, in the pursuit of ratings and ad dollars, have embraced a format that necessarily mixes fact and fiction, they have in a sense reaped the whirlwind -- opening themselves up to attack from whichever partisan camp feels aggrieved about the fiction element. One Hollywood producer laments to Variety, "Starting with The Reagans, everything is now political. It's become so divisive and nasty. It's very sad."

Actually, what's really sad is the networks' assumption that, in our polarized era, they can somehow take liberties with history in the pursuit of profits -- and not get any grief about it.

---

MY TAKE:

This article expresses my feelings on the subject very accurately, and blasts the canard that since the media is corporate, then they will always side with Republicans.

Another point to be made is that the networks are VERY interested in playing down their participation in the tabloid journalism which is aimed at playing into the divisive, partisan nature of almost every single discussion. Nope, the media isn't at fault at all! Ahem.

Jason

Yes, we have further proof that the media is way out of touch with normal Americans, with more or less every media outlet trumpeting the arrival of Babi Suri. Oh, let us also not forget the media trumpeting the arrival of a bronze sculpture commemorating Baby Suri's first solid shit, and oh boy did Baby Suri ever let loose.

Does anyone REALLY care about Baby Suri? This pisses me off! You have the biggest publicity whore in the world eating out of the media's hand, with his brainwashed marital leech/groupie wife dutifully doing basically whatever the hell he wants. She has this glazed over look in her eyes that tells me something is definitely wrong. I'm almost certain the wife and kid are nothing more than accessories, tools to be used to further his fame and to keep him in the news.

Now, I don't know too much about babies, okay, but do four month old babies wear a fade? Who else thinks this sicko put some kind of baby wig on his child for the Vanity Fair photo? And anyway I have to ask again, who besides the media is salivating over this fucking mess?

It is long past time for this Baby Suri saga to slide into irrelevancy. I know by writing I'm extending the life of this pathetic story, but at least I'm doing right by my readership in letting everyone know how wrong things have gotten. You were fuckin MAVERICK, man, what happened?

Jason

And they were NOT in the mood for conversation.

Many road blocks, constant patrols, I hope they get that fucker soon.

So, the Bucky saga continues.

We didn't take the 60 home yesterday because we knew there would be some major shit happening (plus my car is of questionable legality). We saw numerous troopers on the thruway. Today in the Jamestown Post Journal there were some photos of what the scene on the 60 looked like:



Your eyes do not deceive you! The one trooper is indeed carrying some sort of assault rifle! I'm so happy Josh and I avoided that mess, otherwise I'm sure I would have been very late for my Fantasy Football draft, which went very well, thank you for asking.

Apparently one of the wounded troopers lost one of his legs. I know some of you don't like police, I've heard talk about parts of the suburbs being police states (what the fuck do we know about police states anyway?), but those are people who are paid to protect the public, us, from pieces of shit like Bucky. They were ambushed, cheap shotted, by this motherfucker, who will hopefully die a slow, painful, torture-filled death before taking the express train to hell. I know me saying that will make some people cringe, rightfully so, but I think about the kids and the family of those troopers who were attacked and it drives me to near insanity.

I also think about the family and friends who are complicit in this nonsense from Bucky, and they should be severely punished as well. I want them to fucking BURN. God forbid if someone I know were ever that kind of homicidal maniac, I would not hesitate for one moment to turn his ass in, or get on TV and beg for him to do so on his own.

At least taking the extra long drive was nice. Driving from Jamestown to the thruway was very pleasurable today. You go all along Chautauqua lake, through lots of orchards and pretty places, over some hills where you see Lake Erie, and there are also lots of little bed and breakfasts and interesting looking places all along 394. Taking a drive like that, or biking it, or whatever, it really does restore your soul.

Tomorrow we brave the 60 because Dad wants to know what kind of delays there are. If Bucky shoots me, he better kill me, otherwise you can be damn sure I'm gonna get that $225,000 reward.

Jason

I just got done helping my neighbor, rather my ex-neighbor, to attach his car to his rental truck so he can leave. I just got home, and he is gone. It was really nice having a resident Lincoln expert, and he was generally a cool guy. He actually did verify many of the notions I had about the Academy, but I think he will be nothing like his peers. He is going to make a great Professor.

It took fuckin forever though because there was something wrong with the Auto Carrier, and so we waited for what seemed like hours for the Budget people to go to a "close" location and replace a simple safety pin. It was one of those times you wished you had a game boy or something to piss away the boredom.

Oh, and being borderline on the east side there was of course a little racial tension, with this older black lady walking by me, not willing to even make eye contact with me after I looked at her and smiled. It has occurred to me that my gaze is too strong and piercing for some people to handle well. Like looking into the sun it seems to be a little much.

Now I'm looking for jobs, and I'm extremely nervous about being able to handle my shit. Don't get me wrong, I'm confident in myself and my abilities, but after doing all you can do to help yourself the waiting and the boredom is absolute murder on the psyche. I'm one day closer to being where I want to be, and to being albe to say FUCK YOU, LOUSY SLAPPER to the chav cunts who have called me a failure in life, and to those who have doubted me. It is going to be so sweetly delicious, and I will once again become the #1 arrogant dickhead you all know and love, minus the vicious love of booze and drug. The only addiction I want is to the almighty dollar, so I can commence Operation Man Whore.

So it would seem there have been some peep birthdays. Some shout outs are in order:

(e:Ladycroft) - You are much better to me than I deserve. Even for a Liverpool supporter you are awesome, and an example of a beautiful soul for all to witness. I haven't always done 100% right by you and I'm sorry. Normally I can't help it but you understand. Sometime soon we should watch some footie and talk shit about people. May your recovery continue! Oh and did you know I'm an uncle now?

(e:Mike) - I have a soft spot for Mike and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the vulnerability he expresses in his journal now and then. He allows himself to be more human than most people I've met. He gets naked at pretty much every party, which is questionable at best, but Mike you are a cool guy and I'm very happy for you that you've found a good relationship. Happy birthday!

(e:Terry) - Without question one of the funniest people I know, even funnier than myself which is impressive indeed. Terry is a motherfucking grand master needler and joker, and my man you have warmed my heart with laughter on more than one occasion when I've really needed it. I hope you had an awesome birthday. Sorry I couldn't make it to the party. I'm sure it was an absolute scene as always.

Jason