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Last Visit 2014-03-26 13:03:31 |Start Date 2004-08-27 03:35:38 |Comments 2,141 |Entries 669 |Images 73 |Sounds 1 |Videos 1 |Mobl 5 |

Category: humor

10/04/05 11:42 - 68ºF - ID#23588

Laughter Makes You Feel Good

So this guy goes to the Doctor because he thinks he might be gay.

The Doctor says, "What makes you think you're gay? Are you having feelings?"

The Guy says, "No, no I don't have any feelings. But my Grampa was gay."

The Doctor says, "So? That doesn't mean that you'll be gay too."

The Guy says, "Well my Dad was also gay."

The Doctor says, "Again, that doesn't mean that you'll be gay too."

The Guy says, "Yeah well listen to this - all 5 of my brothers are also gay!"

The Doctor yells, "God damn! Doesn't anyone in your family like pussy?!?!"

The Guy says, "Yeah - my sister!"
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Permalink: Laughter_Makes_You_Feel_Good.html
Words: 110
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: sad

10/04/05 11:11 - 65ºF - ID#23587

I Cry On The Inside

I cry on the inside when I am hurting. I'm hurting a lot today.
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Permalink: I_Cry_On_The_Inside.html
Words: 14
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

10/03/05 11:27 - 75ºF - ID#23586

My New Wakeup Song

"Ideale" as performed by Andrea Bocelli and The London Symphony. Here are the lyrics in Italian and in English. I can't believe how beautiful the words are:

Io ti seguii come iride di pace
Lungo le vie del cielo:
Io ti seguii come un'amica face
De la notte nel velo.
E ti sentii ne la luce, ne l'aria,
Nel profumo dei fiori;
E fu piena la stanza solitaria
Di te, dei tuoi splendori.

In te rapito, al suon de la tua voce,
Lungamente sognai;
E de la terra ogni affanno, ogni croce,
In quel sogno scordai.
Torna, caro ideal, torna un istante
A sorridermi ancora,
E a me risplenderà, nel tuo sembiante,
Una novella aurora.

I followed you like a rainbow of peace
along the paths of heaven;
I followed you like a friendly torch
in the veil of darkness,
and I sensed you in the light, in the air,
in the perfume of flowers,
and the solitary room was full
of you and of your radiance.

Absorbed by you, I dreamed a long time
of the sound of your voice,
and earth's every anxiety, every torment
I forgot in that dream.
Come back, dear ideal, for an instant
to smile at me again,
and in your face will shine for me
a new dawn.
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Permalink: My_New_Wakeup_Song.html
Words: 216
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: football

10/03/05 09:46 - 75ºF - ID#23585

So The Bills Suck - I'm Still Proud!

Fuck all you haters.....


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Permalink: So_The_Bills_Suck_I_m_Still_Proud_.html
Words: 6
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

10/03/05 09:27 - 75ºF - ID#23584

Misogynist Rap

David Banner - "Play"


Yeah that's about how I feel. jk jk jk jk jk

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Permalink: Misogynist_Rap.html
Words: 18
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: soccer

10/02/05 10:29 - 68ºF - ID#23583

Liverfool 1 - Chelsea 4

Rampant Chelsea tear Liverpool a new ass......


Frank Lampard tells those shit-talking bin dippers to SHHHHHHH!!!!
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Permalink: Liverfool_1_Chelsea_4.html
Words: 18
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: fun

10/02/05 08:32 - 75ºF - ID#23582

What Do You Do When You Are Bored?

I smoke sometimes:


Before any of you evil forces out there superimpose a cock on this picture I want to pre-empt that shit right now. It looks like I am exhaling, making a kissy face or doing my fish impression.


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Permalink: What_Do_You_Do_When_You_Are_Bored_.html
Words: 43
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: movies

09/29/05 10:42 - 54ºF - ID#23581

Exorcism of Emily Rose

I saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose last night. I went into it thinking it would be a thriller, but it really wasn't. The movie centered around the trial of the priest who performed the exorcism on Miss Rose. Rather than give you details about the movie itself, I will show you information I found about the REAL Emily Rose, whose name was Anneliese Michel.

Anneliese was born in September of 1952 in Bavaria. Her life was unremarkable in that she was a happy child, religiously nurtured, and in all other ways normal. However, at the age of sixteen, Anneliese was afflicted with the first of many of what her parents came to believe were demonic attacks. Her body went rigid, and she was unable to call out to her parents for help. She shook violently without control of her actions. Her parents took her to the Psychiatric Clinic in Wurzburg, where she was diagnosed with Grand Mal epilepsy. Medication was prescribed, and she was given treatments, but the attacks didn't stop.

She began seeing what she described as demons, visions of terrible creatures, during her everyday life. After a while she could hear them as well. She only spoke to her doctors about the visions once, telling them that the voices had begun giving her orders. For five years Anneliese went for medical treatment with no discernable benefit. In fact, the attacks were getting worse. Her behavior degenerated into something wholly unlike the child everyone knew. She insulted and beat other members of the family, often biting her three siblings. She refused to eat normal food, as the demons she heard would not allow it, and ate spiders and coal, often drinking her own urine. She slept on the floor and was given to fits of screaming and breaking religious icons such as the family's crucifixes and rosaries. Her behavior grew steadily worse as she began acts of self-mutilation. Tearing off her clothes and urinating on the floor became common occurrences in the Michel home.

In 1973 her parents began a fervent and desperate search for a priest to perform an exorcism. All the churches they approached denied their requests, explaining that the criterion of proof for possession had not been fulfilled. In order for a person to be deemed "possessed" and receive an exorcism, according to the Catholic church, there are a number of signs that must be observed. The afflicted person must exhibit at least three signs for permission to be granted. The signs of possession are varied, but among them are the afflicted displaying abnormal strength, paranormal powers such as levitation or telekinesis, and the knowledge of a language they've never studied.

By 1974 the Michel family won the sympathy of Pastor Ernst Alt, who believed the child was truly in danger from demons. He petitioned the Bishop of Wurzburg, Josef Stangl, with no success. The Bishop suggested that the child live a more holy lifestyle to find inner peace. Alt tried again a year later, this time providing verification of the signs of possession in Anneliese. Bishop Stangl relented and assigned Father Arnold Renz to perform the exorcism rite with Alt assisting. The rite of exorcism to be performed was the "Rituale Romanum."

Exorcism, though long considered one of the church's dirty little secrets, is neither a religious ceremony nor a sacrament. It is a rite in which the priests confront the demon in the afflicted's body and demand that it show itself. Once the demon is revealed, the priests attempt to use their own faith to drive it out of the innocent. The Rituale Romanum was first written in 1614 under the auspices of Pope Paul V. It remained largely intact and in use for exorcism with only minor changes in definitions to distinguish between possession and mental illness in 1952. Through repeating a set group of prayers, the Litanies of the Saints, Pater Noster, and the 54th Psalm, as well as the accompanying Gloria Patri, Anima Criste, and Salve Regina, two priests, a medical doctor, and members of the afflicted's family engage in a lengthy and often physically exhausting trial in which the priests attempt to expel the demon. The rituals are open to interpretation as exorcists are free to add in other aspects of the rite as they deem necessary.

Beginning in September of 1975 Anneliese endured two rites a week, during which time she exhibited violent behavior toward any within striking distance. She spit and bit, cursed and struck those around her, often having to be restrained by as many as three full-grown men. The rituals, however, seemed to be working. She was able to return to school at the Pedagogic Academy in Wurzburg and take her final exams. She even was able to return to church. However, as time passed, her condition deteriorated again.

During the final round of exorcisms Anneliese stopped taking food for several weeks. Though she grew emaciated, she still exhibited unbelievable strength and spoke in the voices of those she claimed inhabited her body. Among the demons who claimed residence were Judas Iscariot, Nero, Cain, Hitler, a disgraced Frankish priest from the 16th Century, a host of other damned souls, and even Lucifer himself. Her knees ruptured due to the more than six hundred genuflections she compulsively performed. By June 30th, 1976, she was so emaciated and weak that she could not stand. Her parents, however, held her up and helped her perform the genuflections.

It was late in the day on July 30, 1976, when Anneliese turned to the priests and said, "Beg for absolution." It was the last statement she would make to them. To her mother she simply said, "Mother, I'm afraid," and then collapsed and died. Her mother recorded her daughter's passing the next day while Alt informed the authorities. An investigation immediately began into her cause of death. Both priests and her parents were charged with negligent homicide.

Two years later the case was finally brought to trial. Nearly forty hours of audio tape of the exorcism was played before the court. Testimony was heard from witnesses who had no doubts of demonic presences in the girl. But in the end it was the coroner's report that Anneliese has starved to death that proved to be their undoing. It was determined that admitting her to a hospital where she'd have been fed through a tube, even one week before she died, could have saved her life. They also asserted that, by introducing the concept of demonic possession, the parents and priest provided a scapegoat for her behavior, which allowed her to misbehave all she wanted to without fear of consequence. Though convicted, her parents and the priests received a light sentence of only six months in jail and probation.

The story, however, continued to capture the imagination of those that knew the girl or heard of her plight. Many claimed that her body could not have been at rest after such an ordeal, leading officials to exhume her corpse eleven years after her death. When it was determined that it had, in fact, decayed at the proper rate for one dead eleven years, she was recommitted to the ground. Her grave became, and remains, a place of pilgrimage and religious importance to those who believe that the brave girl lost her life fighting the forces of darkness.

Following the death of Anneliese the church recanted their permission, stating that she was merely afflicted by mental disorders. In 1996 the Pope removed Rituale Romanum from the approved list of rites and replaced it with his own, called "The Exorcism for the Upcoming Millennium."

Anneliese Michel was a fresh-faced girl of sixteen when her life suddenly jolted out of her control and only twenty-three when she died. Whether or not she was possessed by demons is open to debate, but nothing can diminish the tragedy of her passing. While The Exorcism of Emily Rose bears the legend "based on a true story," respect must be given to the actual people and events on which the story is taken. Audiences should not forget, while they are being entertained, that no matter what their beliefs, Anneliese Michel, the real "Emily Rose," was no fictional character.

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Permalink: Exorcism_of_Emily_Rose.html
Words: 1362
Location: Buffalo, NY

09/28/05 05:11 - 73ºF - ID#23580

Parking Tickets!!

Someone remind me to pay them!!!

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Permalink: Parking_Tickets_.html
Words: 7
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: morons

09/27/05 02:45 - 65ºF - ID#23579

My Response to The Beast Blog

Since my comment left on their site will probably be removed...

Look what lil' ol' me did to poor innocent Uthman.

This blog entry was really quite foolish, Ed. Before going off about me being a Robertson acolyte, or attributing me to what Claybonga wrote about the Iraq war, or taking a blind shot at my own religious beliefs, you should have spent the few minutes it would have taken to read my own blog and find out how I feel about Robertson, zealous Christian assholes and the Iraq war. Everyone who regularly reads my blog knows that I think the Iraq war is wrong, and that Robertson and his ilk are a frightening bunch. They also know that I think taking the Bible literally is nonsense. You can manage to navigate Freedom Chat, so before lying to people about what I think go ahead and learn the facts.

What's even more disturbing than the shot-in-the-dark method of attacking me is this - The Beast, and Uthman in particular, use various levels of venom and "biting" humor when it wants to get a point across, but when someone calls Al Uthman a fat ass or says he would pay a price for saying the same things to someone's face you shrivel up and all of a sudden become hyper-sensitive. The really pointed way your publication approaches various subjects seems to be a point of pride, and yes it does differentiate you from the other Alternatives who are rather boring. If you can dish it out like you do, you shouldn't cry foul when one guy out of X Beast readers pipes up about one of your Editors. What's good for you is good for everyone else.

About your premise I am mad because Uthman challenges my religious beliefs - again you are horribly mistaken. Uthman isn't challenging my religious beliefs - he is challenging the beliefs of people who try to use the Bible as a science text! He isn't talking about the pros and cons of religious doctrine, he is talking about fundamentalists who use their doctrine in an attempt to describe something best left to scientific inquiry. I agree that people who use the Bible this way are awfully misguided and wrong.

So then what DOES upset me? The assumption that every person who calls themself "Christian" is a Jerry Falwell, or a religious zealot blindly doing Bush's bidding, or someone who is intellectually vacant. Learning even the smallest tidbit about modern Chrsitianity would lead you to the conclusion that "believers" are largely fragmented. There is very little unity at all among the various denominations. People who believe in a higher power aren't blindly following Bush, they aren't unified in their beliefs, and yes they do have a brain in their head. Not every person who believes in God is a Jerry Falwell, and that kind of narrow-minded thinking will turn people off to you when they might otherwise consider the things you say about social welfare, health care and other issues. When you say those kinds of things about people it shouldn't come as a surprise or a shock that someone would object.

About Uthman - Ed, you have twice failed to correctly process what I wrote, instead going for the sensationalized writing style The Beast is known for. I never overtly threatened the man. There was a condition attached which you conveniently ignore. What I wrote was, and you have it up on your own blog so you should be able to understand this - if the guy were to directly insult me in the same manner that he does when he is behind the safety of his typewriter he indeed would pay the price. It is my experience that pseudo-journalists with loud mouths fold like a cheap card table when they have to be accountable for what they say.

Anyway, is it really that upsetting and unacceptable to you that someone would take a shot at Uthman? Okay, you poor, poor, innocent publication which has never done anything to remotely upset anyone. I apologize.

PS - Yes I can co-exist with Uthman and the rest of you Beasties. I thoroughly enjoyed your beer and pizza at the last Beast Bash.
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Permalink: My_Response_to_The_Beast_Blog.html
Words: 705
Location: Buffalo, NY



New Site Wide Comments

paul said to ladycroft
Nice to "see" you. I let the CPR ads stay because at least it was something lol...

ladycroft said to joe finger went spastic. ...

ladycroft said to joe
Happy Birthday! I had my 30th with two of those peeps as well :) Remember the failed (but awesome)...

ladycroft said to joe
Happy Birthday! I had my 30th with two of those peeps as well :) Remember the failed (but awesome)...