Well I just found out my best friend's girlfriend dumped him out of the blue. That guy is beside himself with grief right now. He actually really liked her and was happy being with her. I actually feel sick about it....poor bastard. This also means that she probably won't be trying to hook me up with her sister any more. I guess I don't care about that anyway.

You know what makes me even more sick to my stomach? I have been too busy/tired/selfish to pick up the phone the last few days. He needed someone to talk to - he needed help - he needed me to talk him up. Of course if I had seen this situation coming I wouldn't have left the phone alone. Bottom line, I failed him, I flat out failed him. This is not like me, and not like the guy I want to become. This burns me. I am seeing red right now. I wasn't there for my best friend when he needed me the most. What a horrible piece of shit friend I have been to him this week.

My man, if you can read this - I am truly sorry. This is not how a friend treats a friend. I try very hard to be the best guy I can be, but I fell very short this time. I am imperfect. I will put my face on the net and say it where dozens and dozens of people can read it - I have been a Grade A fuckup. I will do whatever I have to do, sacrifice whatever I have to in order to make this right. Hopefully you can forgive me - I know I would be super fucking pissed right now if I were you. You will be cool - girls come and go, and you have had some great ones. I would give years off of my life to be able to have some of the experiences you've had. I envy you. I can't say that some chick won't do the same thing someday, but I can say this - I won't fail you again.

(e:lisa) - I didn't know you wrote about my situation. I would have responded if I had read your entry. It's not like I'm dirt ass poor or anything, I am a college grad and hold down a decent job. It's just that I don't have enough. Hell, I can exit my apartment, walk by Kuni's or Brodo and see dozens of similar chicks every day of the week. She is not the bitchy type though - very pleasant to be around like I said before. You know what, you're right, if I can't afford her then I don't want her. Maybe I should find out for sure. I've gotta call her sometime anyway. I'm overthinking it probably, stupid brain.

By the way, I would give an honest take on your hair color but you've got a skully on. Also how did gumby get stuck in your nose? Do you teach young kids? Hehe

(e:sqb) and (e:hodown) - there is a problem in the situation. I found out she has a man already. Anyway maybe it's just stupid to think that anything would happen. She has em lined up already. The thing is that I do feel bad that I haven't called - I don't want her to think I'm an asshole but at the same time I know I can't be her friend because I dig her - last year I learned a lesson when someone asked me why I was so distant from them - I confessed to her that I couldn't be friends with someone that I wanted to be with so badly. So I lost a friend - don't want that to happen again either. I don't even know why I'm thinking about this crap. I'm a guy. Maybe my horniness is clouding my thinking. I'll probably call the girl anyway and hope she doesn't answer, so that way I'm not an asshole and at the same time I don't have to actually follow through with hanging out with her. I hope that doesn't sound bad but it's the truth.

Hmmm....lately I have had something on my mind. Well, really it's someONE. An Elmwood resident and former high school classmate. I've always thought she was beautiful. And a sunny disposition, too - the kind of chick that makes you happy to be around her. She's called my bro and I a couple of times to meet up at Cozumel but it's never worked out (we always had previous plans). My buddy says I'm crazy not to call her but there is one significant problem here - I don't think I make enough $$ to date her. That really sucks. But what are you going to do? Maybe get my MBA or something and eventually get enough money to date a cool girl like she is.

Okay, enough of the sentimental BS - Back to being a guy - Buddha and football this weekend! At least I won't have to suffer through yet another pathetic showing by the Bills offense. Finally work is back to normal and I can spend more time doing stuff I like to do, or just relax. I'm pretty damn happy.

Jason

Well, today my Doctor told me that I have to cut out the booze. Not completely, but for the sake of my health I can only have a beer or two every now and then. So, no more drunken BBQ's for me. No more getting blasted during tailgating before a Bills game. Think of every party situation, or going out for beers with your friends. I can only do that once in a blue moon now. Don't get me wrong, I never was an alcoholic, I never went and got drunk or had excessive amounts on a daily basis, but I liked to go out and have fun and party just like everyone else did. That is no longer possible. I think I'll end up a healthier and happier dude anyway as a result of it - so there aren't too many negatives. I can live with this - will have to stick to the herbals if I want to party. =P

On another note - I can't believe that there is another movie about a social climber coming out. Social climbers portray the kind of greed, self-indulgence, and lack of respect for other people that makes my blood boil over. Only in the USA is this kind of behavior glorified. I didn't read the book but I hope it's satire.

Jason

This isn't a political post, but it does have some political angles to it. This is partially tongue in cheek, so no flaming me okay!!

I have been a mean, cynical bastard lately. Part of it is because lately my job is killing me. Can anyone think of a better way to work off stress? Maybe I'll attend the Anti-Bush rally someone else was talking about. There are bound to be girls there. At Taste of Buffalo there was a very cute Kerry supporter who handed out voter registration forms. I told her I couldn't in good conscience vote for Kerry, and that was that baby, my chance blew up in my face. There is a girl I went to high school with who I think is so beautiful and so nice, but she is a super environmentalist and I doubt she would be down with such a heartless man as yours truly. I am neither rich or sharp dressing enough for the suburbanite girls who flock to Kuni's, Globe and Brodo, nor am I alternative or liberal enough for most of the girls here.

I can't exactly fake having a BMW or a Benz. So.... I am going to have to (a HA!) pretend to be a Kerry supporter if I'm going to have the best chance at success. I Googled "how to impress a liberal" to see if I could find ways to get a liberal girl, and this is what I found:



Obviously the Dick Chainey is a gag, so my search was fruitless. Help me!

Jason

Let's see, what does being a Republican mean to me? I suppose nobody has asked me that question before. I said I probably wouldn't be writing any more politically motivated posts, so I'm going to have to decline to answer. As I said before - I already have had bad experiences with people being actively intolerant of me. Now that I've shown my face it is even more important to know when to shut up and when to speak out around the hood. There are a million and one Niman disciples out there who want to snuff out all voices except the ones which most resemble themselves. Being a Republican is only a small portion of who I am - and not nearly the most important part. I'm not here to convince anybody of anything. I wish to (hopefully) communicate with neighborhood people, and vent every now and then about my own unimportant life. One thing is certain - being a Republican means it's tougher to get dates around the hood. Hehe - unless you can be a wolf in sheep's clothing like my brother.

However, I will say this much - I haven't yet decided who will get my vote. I am a moderate, and have voted for Democrats before (both Clintons, the second one I regret). I'm stuck with two particularly odious choices here. That's part of the reason why I wrote "No matter who wins, we've already lost."

JessBob - Good to see another Satan is around! That makes, what, about a half a dozen of us in the neighborhood? Thanks for the welcome.

Soyeon - Hang in there. Lately I want to get on a train and run away too. Gramma told me that how I deal with the difficult times in life will determine what kind of man I will become. If you believe in yourself and your ability, and do your best, then you cannot possibly fail. I do not know you, yet I admire your risk taking. Best of luck!

First of all, to the e-peeps who stopped by yesterday, thanks. It was nice to meet you, although I was super drunk at the time (I'm paying for that this morning). Hopefully it wasn't THAT bad of a first impression. :) By the way, whoever it is that develops this site (Paul?), from one developer to another - nice job. It's obvious you have put a lot of hard work into it, and it shows.

I am sitting here this morning watching an unnamed morning news program, and learning more about the ongoing protests in New York. It has me thinking about the national political debate in general, as well as the local debate, so I'll post my thoughts. I'll try to make it not too boring. This probably will be my one and only politically motivated post, so please bear with me here for a moment.

"The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions." -Plato

I am about to say something which will likely alienate myself from you all. I wish it weren't that way, I really do, but in my experience it sure as shit IS that way. I am a Republican. There, I said it, okay?! A Republican spawned from a long line of blue collar Democrats. This unfortunately means that I am one of the most hated people in our beautiful community. I can flip through the pages of our local alternative shitrags on any given week and learn a lot about myself. Apparently, having an (R) next to my name means that I am a racist, a bigot, a gay hater, a religious zealot, brainless, spineless, heartless, so on and so forth. I don't tell a lot of people here about my politics because I know that I will be met with hostility. I've been on the block having a friendly conversation with a neighbor, when some anonymous person literally leaps at me, fangs and claws showing, ready to shout me down and insult me. Being a Republican on Elmwood means you will be very lonely, and made to feel particularly unwelcome. Being a neighbor, I could very well become good friends with more or less anyone here, but as soon as you get into politics all chances for that get flushed down the crapper. Can anyone please tell me why it has to be this way? Better yet, can anyone explain why this is accepted?

This brings me to my real point here - That the political debate on all levels has become twisted and perverted, changing from an honest exchange of ideas to a contest to see who can be the biggest degenerate, ignorant son of a bitch to the guy next to you. If you read any of the print or online media lately, chances are you are going to be reading the most ridiculous, unimportant shit possible. In fact, right now in almost all of the media you will be subjected to all kinds of bullshit that doesn't even begin to touch the issues that people like you and me care about the most. Does anyone really give a shit about any of the candidates' military records? Does anyone really care whether or not Dubya shoveled toot up his nose in college, or whether Barack Obama is down with the sticky icky? I don't care about any of this meaningless crap - I care about how we are going to get our boys and girls home as safely and as quickly as possible. I care about finding cures to our most deadly diseases. I care about ensuring that all children in America get the best education possible. Don't you all think these things are a hell of a lot more important than trying to dig up dirt, or finding new and fun ways of insulting someone else? The fact that the tabloid-esque part of the political debate is more important than the issues themselves makes my stomach turn. It is disgusting.

Go to any media outlet, and try to tell me that the bitchfest is getting us any closer to solving our problems. I don't see too many people on either side actually offering up any solutions at all. They don't have the br
ains, the ambition, or the talent to come up with a solution,
t
hat's why you don't get any solutions out of them. Their abilities only extend as far as how badly they can bash the side they are against. It's fucking lame. They want shock value. They want extreme opinions. They want you to buy their shit. Most importantly, they want you to know just how fucking brilliant they are. There is such a thing as a narcissistic personality disorder, is there not? Anyway, it's saddening how fucked up the political process has become. No wonder young people don't want any part of it. No wonder so many Americans don't even care to get to the voting booth. I'm not going to be like any of those assholes who want to waste all of our valuable time talking about nothing. I want America to be a better place and hopefully one day we will get past this nonsense and actually begin to make it so.

So far today has been a good day. Looking out to the corner of Elmwood and Cleveland today I see lots of beautiful young women. I am getting drunk and eating lots of food. This is one of my favorite times of year....I hope everyone else is having fun!!

Before the man finds out I'm surfing this site and tries to get too familiar I thought I would say hello. So Hello already! :) I've lived in the neighborhood for a while, and I'm glad that there's a site where people can communicate with each other. Yikes, you know you're in Elmwood when they default Democracy Now into your links!