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09/18/06 12:02 - 75ºF - ID#23951

picture goodness

Ok, this is probably exactly the kind of thing I do NOT want circulating the internet- but somehow I can't not post it.

This is a picture of a picture that has been on a refrigerator magnet at my parents' house for probably 10 years.

Have a good laugh. :)

(the new userpic is from the fridge, too. That's at the beach, about age 4).

-J

image

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Permalink: picture_goodness.html
Words: 64
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/17/06 11:44 - 67ºF - ID#23950

Fan mail

Since I got this anonymously, this is the only way I can respond:

"I really dislike you. You are annoying, self absorbed, and downright annoying. You aren't very pretty. You are chubby. You say "boy" far to often for a woman your age. You pretend that you are far to good for most people when really you just aren't. Good luck with all that."

I am sorry to hear you really dislike me. Can't win 'em all, right? Since I don't know who you are, I don't know if I have met you, and I can't say if I like you or not. However if you are who I think you are, and/or you think anonymous insults are an acceptable form of communication- I lean towards not liking you either. But who knows... I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; at least until I've met them and can form an opinion.

I am annoying, and downright annoying. Not sure what to say to that. I'm sorry you feel that way.

As far as being self-absorbed- please remember this is my journal. It's mine, so it's about me, and it's a journal, so it's where I bitch and say whatever I want. I actually care very much about other people- too much at times, as a matter of fact.

I'm not very pretty... well thanks. Not much I can do about that one... I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.

I'm chubby. Yes, I am. And I'm working on it. But thanks for pointing out what is probably my biggest insecurity.

I say boy too much... Gee, what a crime. If you would prefer I use his real name rather than "the boy", I'd be happy to, but I thought I'd try to keep names out of it.

And I think I'm too good for everyone... well that's simply not true. I'm proud of my accomplishments, and I do hope to eventually be with someone that I respect- But i certainly don't think I'm "too good" for everyone.

Since I'm not sure you're who I think you are, I will refrain from passing judgment publicly. I will just say 'good luck with all that' to you too.

If you would like to discuss this further, please leave a way for me to contact you, and I'll gladly do so and we can take this discussion out of the public eye.
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Permalink: Fan_mail.html
Words: 406
Location: Buffalo, NY


Category: boring

09/16/06 12:56 - 67ºF - ID#23949

random stuff

I should write a book about the boy drama. It involves internet espionage, name-calling, vicious emails, the silent game, and mystery guests. It might be a best-seller.

Unfortunately that drama continues b/c I am an idiot and just cannot move on. I thought I was getting better, but as I proved to myself (and poor imk) last night- it is still ALL I can talk about. And as anyone who knows me knows- I can talk.

But we were also talking- where have all the peeps gone?? There are like 20 people that post regularly. I swear there used to be more. Hmmmmm.

So not all that many people post, but SOMEONE sure is reading... I have been naive enough until now to think that no one outside of this site reads my journal. I mean, why would they? And how/why would they even find it? But (e:matthew) told me once that one of his kid's mom likes my journal... And then my mystery guest found me... And then as yvonne pointed out- right now I have 224 journals. And 36,000+ views. Someone besides the 20-or-so active estrippers are reading. Hmmm...

I think I have to go to the mall. I don't want to, but my favorite (and only) jeans have a big hole in them. But, maybe I can peek at the new ipods. I am still trying to resist the call of that ridiculously overpriced new tivo box. I really think my ridiculously overpriced tv NEEDS it though....

Duh... I just had to come back to edit this, b/c I forgot the whole reason I wanted to post-

It has gotten to the point that I simply tune out all political talk. I just can't deal with it. And I'm not so into the Bush-bashing- but this video is kind of interesting. I'm not so sure there's pathology there besides getting older and being busy/distracted- but there is a big difference.
Bush: 10 yrs ago vs now:
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Permalink: random_stuff.html
Words: 337
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/13/06 09:23 - 66ºF - ID#23948

day from hell

god dammit.

So I'm already in a pissy mood. And then my post got erased and there's no restore button. I fucking hate microsoft.

Work kicks my ass today. I have not eaten breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or peed. The cafeteria is now closed, and I have no small bills for the vending machines. Guess I will eat saltines and diet ginger ale for dinner. (not a bad diet, though- I have lost a few pounds already. :| )

Not to mention the fucking disaster drama in my personal life, that is making me lose sleep and have nightmares and feel sick to my stomach. I hate drama, but I seem to be a drama magnet.

I don't know what to do about it. Put up a fight? Roll over and play dead? Do what a normal person would do, say fuck it, cut my losses, and move on? It's eating me up.

And then some bitch in the ER just paged me and gave me attitude b/c she has some million year old guy that has been waiting there for 9 hours. I said "ok we'll see him as soon as we can, but we are SWAMPED." And she got pissy and said 'he's been here 9 hours." yeah that sucks, but I only heard about him 30 seconds ago. Give me a minute...

Sorry. I'm cranky.

But on a good note- I got flirted-with in the OR, I might get to be social this weekend, and the coffee machine at work is working again!

Ok, can't blow off the ER anymore...

later peeps.

-J
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Permalink: day_from_hell.html
Words: 262
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/11/06 04:08 - 68ºF - ID#23946

guest comment

Just got a cryptic postit from 'guest'... about Mobius??

Anyone?

I have no clue.
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Permalink: guest_comment.html
Words: 14
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/08/06 05:29 - 75ºF - ID#23944

testing, testing

Ok, so I just spent FAR to long working on this... Now to see if it will post.

And can I just say- Photoshop is NOT an intuitive program? All this crap with layers... I couldn't figure out how to do the simplest thing- put a little border/frame around it.

Oh well.

Enjoy... (and give it a second... it should change)


image

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09/08/06 10:50 - 66ºF - ID#23943

Second of the day

Oh, myspace....

Ok, why can't I get messages like this*:

HELLO GORGIOUS IM FEELING YOU PICS YOU HAVE A NATURAL BEAUTY THAT IS STUNNING YOU SEEM LIKE A SENSUAL,CARING,INTELLEGENT,VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I LOVE MATURE WOMEN THEY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT HOPEFULLY ILL BE THE ONE WHO GIVE IT TO YOU YOU IS SO IRRESISTABLE I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU SO WRITE ME BACK SEXY



From guys who 1- can spell, 2- don't go by 'SHADE Shadow Walka' and 3- don't describe themselves with:

"I'm all about dat street music,Dat real talk. I do it wit da hood,I do it 4 da hood.I do it 4 my baby boy,my family. My lil' brother(R.I.P. Jarell Muhammad) "I'll see U when I get there nigga,until then........." My team is hungrier than a group of nymphomaniac's at a sausage party, LET'S GET IT!"

And while on the subject, I wish "CHRIS RIGGS FOR PRESIDENT AT NEUE HOUSE" would stop trying to 'add' me. Have denied him twice today already.

  • except- doesn't "mature" really mean "old"?
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Permalink: Second_of_the_day.html
Words: 183
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/08/06 09:42 - 66ºF - ID#23942

sigh...

I hope, someday, the day will come that I can hear this without breaking into tears.

I once knew a girl in the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer: all beauty and truth
But in the morning I fled, left a note and it read:
Someday you will be loved

And I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
'Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
Just as the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
And the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs: like I never occurred
And someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
And someday you will be loved


(
"Someday you will be loved", Death Cab for Cutie)

PS- How could I forget?!
There's another new mix available for your downloading pleasure... here: or the "my mixes" link over there
>
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Location: Buffalo, NY


09/06/06 05:49 - 69ºF - ID#23941

Timika-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Permalink: Timika_.html
Words: 2
Location: Buffalo, NY


09/04/06 05:40 - 67ºF - ID#23940

ew, ew, ewewewewew, ewwwww

Ok, so I am working today, and I am working all night, and I think I've said that a thousand times already, but I am not happy about it. Particularly since I had to work fri/sat/sun day AND night.
And the icing in the cake- they just told me I have to give an hour long powerpoint presentation on wed. Majorly high-stakes, high-stress stuff.

So, not much new in my life these days. Starting back at BGH today, which I feel will be a rude awakening after spending the whole summer at the VA-spa. BUT- it means I can have lunch with peeps sometimes! Other than that, I'm still in a bit of a sad limbo funk, and this weather is not helping.

But the reason I'm posting-
(stop here if you have a weak stomach...)

So I was just called down to the ER to see a lady with a "leg problem". So I go down there.... she's the sweetest little 82 year old lady... maybe a little bit "pleasantly demented", but with the cutest little... Jamaican? accent. She had one leg amputated last year, and then for the last two weeks her other leg was bothering her... finally her daughter was worried and brought her in for us to see... So I was talking to her, trying to take her history, and this big pesky fly kept buzzing around my head. So many bugs lately! Saw a roach at the VA, and a bee on the third floor here. Gross. So I talk to her, then I listen to her heart and lungs, examine her belly, blah blah. Then get down to her leg, which she has wrapped in a blanket.

It was gross.

Red and swollen and infected with weeping ulcers all over, and it smelled horrible...

and, upon closer examination-

(you guessed it)

MAGGOTS!!

I guess that explains the fly...

Poor little thing... she's most likely going to lose that leg too. I feel badly for her. I don't think she has any clue how bad it is. :(

Ok, back to work...

Happy Birthday Jen and Timika.

-J


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Permalink: ew_ew_ewewewewew_ewwwww.html
Words: 353
Location: Buffalo, NY


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