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zobar’s journal

$1000000 idea

· · 🌡️ 46°F

and you can have it for free.

I think there should be a game show, where they ask you your own "Forgot Password" security questions, and if you get it right on the first try, you win cash money. The host would have a laptop and as much personality as your bank's website.

Voiceover: Now it's time to play...
Audience: I! FORGOT! MY! PASSWORD!!
Voiceover: with your host, John Hodgman or Ben Stein!
John Hodgman/Ben Stein: Dear Customer, your account remains past due in the amount of $56.72. Would you like to pay your balance online? (Y/n)
@zobar: I'm going to go with Y, John and/or Ben!!
Hodgman/Stein: Login please. (Forgot password?)
@zobar: Forgot password, John/Ben!
John-Ben Hodgstein: Where did you meet your spouse?
[background music starts playing]
@zobar: Um, I'm not married?
J/B: You may continue to receive notices or letters that describe specific collection actions that we may take on your account.
@zobar: No no, I got it I got it. Maybe I substituted 'girlfriend' for 'spouse' ... um, Rochester?
J/B: Incorrect entry. Where did you meet your spouse?
@zobar: Hm, I'm pretty sure it was Rochester. Maybe Jersey City?
J/B: Incorrect entry. Where did you meet your spouse?
@zobar: Could I get a new question?
J/B: Please enter an answer. Where did you meet your spouse?
@zobar: I don't have a spouse! I met my girlfriend in Rochester!! I don't fucking know!!! Dobbs Ferry??
J/B: Your account has been disabled due to an excessive number of incorrect login attempts. The correct answer was 'Schaghticoke.'
@zobar: AUUGGGHHHH!!
[Head explodes, cut to commercial]

- Z
283 words

💬 3 comments

  1. heidi ·

    LOL! I'd so be a victim in that game show.

    Once upon a time, I had an adorable doggie named August West. His name was from Wharf Rat, a Grateful Dead tune, and "West" is my ex-girlfriend's last name (Casey Jones being waaay too obvious).

    My name is August West
    and I love my Pearly Baker best
    more than my wine
    ...more than My wine
    more than my maker
    though he's no friend of mine

    So I started doing the make-your-own-security-question question "My name is..." and then I'd get it wrong!

  2. tinypliny ·

    I used to just use characters from my favourite novel earlier but then the novel ran out of characters and I had to use nicknames of those characters, and then synonymous names in literary, movie, drama and musical adaptations of that novel. Then one day, some years back, I ran out of them as well. I am completely out of choices now. I am also sick of resetting my password every single day!

    So I am probably running a massive security risk and identity theft risk but I am slowly converting all my passwords to one single password - the last character adaptation nickname from that very same novel. And all my security questions to the same questions everywhere because I am losing my brain cells every minute and I can't remember anything anymore.

    Anyone who knows what my favourite adaptation concept novel is can probably take over my life. :/

  3. dcoffee ·

    been there. I even saw a picture one, they show you an image of something, and you associate some word with it. Boy that sounds easy to remember

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