Category: xmas

12/23/07 08:54 - 33ºF - ID#42629

it's really gotten to me this year

I can't help but think that this whole tradition of giving gifts at Christmas perhaps adds more stress to the holiday season than it should. I agree it's a very special thing to give somebody something they wanted but would not have otherwise gotten for themselves. I agree it is polite to reciprocate, and rude not to. I agree that this is not a time to be selfish with one's time or money. I care deeply about many people but have totally flaked out on gifts for all but the most essential. I was not able to devote as much time or concentration to gift-giving as it deserves, and instead sent a big Fuck You to the people most important to me. I feel absolutely rotten about it. Mea culpa.

To my coworkers, who have become my friends, I would not be at Artvoice if you weren't.

To the people who make up (e:strip), you have created a fun, eclectic, warped, and thoroughly enjoyable community just by being yourselves. It has been a pleasure and I wish I could be more involved.

To my friends, the fact that we have never really exchanged Christmas gifts is perhaps the greatest gift of all.

To my family, relax. I got you something.

To (e:dragonlady7), you'd think after spending so much of our lives together that I'd know exactly what you want. I don't, but I've got some ideas. We'll talk later.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Until next year,
- Z

Permalink: it_s_really_gotten_to_me_this_year.html
Words: 249
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: food

12/15/07 06:31 - 19ºF - ID#42527

what the cia won't tell you

[The Culinary Institute of America]

The real reason you learn to make sauce Mornay ['cheese sauce'] is not for eggs Benedict, Welsh rabbit, or potatoes au gratin. The real reason you learn to make sauce Mornay is that you bought some foolishly expensive herbed, veined goat cheese to impress your girlfriend's parents at Thanksgiving, which they politely ate but did not finish, and now that it's nearly Christmas with no food in sight, you're fucking hungry and you don't care whether that's a 'delicate rind' or 'disgusting crust of mold.'

Sauce Mornay: because you paid too much for that cheese to admit it's gone bad.

- Z

jbeatty writes at 01:42:19 01/03/08 - Comment #29866: My only experience with scrapple was at a stuckey's in Northern Va. Probably why I'm not too fond of it. But I must try the pork roll.

janelle writes at 12:54:58 01/03/08 - Comment #29863: Yuck. Pork rolls sound like scrapple.

zobar writes at 12:51:30 01/03/08 - Comment #29862: Pork rolls :::link::: are totally gross-looking but are actually pretty decent. As I recall it's very similar in taste and form to bologna [though it's a little chunkier], but it's used like peameal bacon [which is how it ended up on my 'jersey benedict' in the first place].

- Z

dragonlady7 writes at 11:49:26 01/03/08 - Comment #29853: Because the sort of person who eats old moldy cheese that's been sitting around too long is COMPLETELY the same demographic that has caviar all the time.

jbeatty writes at 11:35:06 01/03/08 - Comment #29850: This post is making me hungry. Btw what is a pork roll?

zobar writes at 11:24:31 01/03/08 - Comment #29846: If your eggs benedict come out tasting like cheesesteak, you really need to re-evaluate your life. I once made eggs benedict with Velveeta and something I have only ever seen in New Jersey called 'pork roll?' and it was definitely still somewhere along the benedict/mcmuffin axis.

That's not to say I have anything against hollandaise - it makes a wonderful sauce for, eg, fried smelt.

The thing about homemade vs store-bought mayo is that they're kind of totally different. Homemade is quite a bit thinner, more of a sauce that you spoon onto things, whereas store-bought really is better suited to spreading on sandwiches or putting on french fries. Believe it or not [and I cringe to say this], "reduced fat mayonnaise" actually tastes better than regular. I agree that mayo should be refrigerated in the store, if not for practical reasons then at least to give the impression that you're buying something perishable.

If I were invited to a party and the host said: "bring caviar," I'd probably go with blini, but I don't actually eat caviar either [unless you count tobiko on sushi]. Thing is, where I'm from people are not easily impressed and if you show up with beluga on toast points you're totally going to get pwn3d by just some really well-executed mini potato pancakes that cost less than two cents each to make. Rather than that, I'd tend to go with just real standard smoked salmon canapes - cream cheese, minibread, and some dill sprigs from the garden, if available. People totally scarf those and enjoy them, rather than eating them delicately and wondering silently whether they should be enjoying them more.

- Z

jenks writes at 11:22:34 01/03/08 - Comment #29845: i'm with you Z. Sadly, good hollandaise is hard to find (but I don't understand why) It should be lemony and zingy, not just some bland yellow tasteless garbage.

mrdt writes at 03:26:04 01/03/08 - Comment #29830: Hmm... I think I would stay far away from a restaurant that couldn't serve a proper hollandaise, let alone kept it festering all day in an enormous stock pot. That's probably why its seperated. Heat during the emulsification process will help the suspension stay together while being held in a steam well. You should try it and maybe someone will say 'Hey this guy really knows what he's doing in the kitchen.' And your benedicts won't taste like a philly cheese steak. Lol.

It worries me that you don't buy mayo in the refrigerated section of the grocery store. Imagine it sitting on the shelf for months or years before some sorry sap walks into Wilson Farms to pick up his favorite condiment for the ol' classic turkey club. Personally I make my own in about 2 minutes using this tiny B&D food processor and people say 'Hey take my money and show me how to do that!'

No toast points? Do you prefer your Beluga straight up or what? Personally I'm a crackers guy.

zobar writes at 11:09:26 01/02/08 - Comment #29826: Hollandaise _used_ to go on eggs benedict, until I'd had enough of restaurants totally ruining the experience with that separated oily runny crap that you know has been festering tepid in a huge stock pot for way longer than is reasonable. When I make eggs benedict, I go with a sharp cheddar sauce, with just a little bit of american [yup]. And everybody goes: 'Hey! This is like eggs benedict, only instead of being terribly depressing it's something I actually enjoy eating!'

I wouldn't eat _any_ cheese on "toast points" because "toast points" is something Martha Stewart does, and she's a ridiculous human being.

But the whole point of the post is that blue cheese is milk that has been forgotten about so long that it is neither fluid nor particularly white, and if you're looking at the thing and trying to tell how much of the mold is P roqueforti and how much is R stolonifer ... you really need to get a grip. If it still smells basically like moldy cheese, which is what it is, and there's nothing else in the house, which there isn't, chuck it in a pot and boil it.

- Z

mrdt writes at 09:33:21 01/02/08 - Comment #29820: Hollandaise goes on eggs benedict and if you wouldn't eat the cheese straight up on say some toast points or something why would you make a sauce out of it???

drew writes at 07:06:50 12/16/07 - Comment #29311: yeah. I never have this problem 'cause I would never have leftover cheese.

dragonlady7 writes at 12:47:40 12/16/07 - Comment #29310: Hey, you've never done a thing to impress my folks. You've never had to, they irrationally adore you beyond all reckoning.

And that was good cheese, but we ran out of crackers.

But it was really good on the macaroni too...

james writes at 07:15:57 12/15/07 - Comment #29298: I am a big fan of so called 'garbage cheese'

I mean, it is rotten milk, how much worse can it get?