Whoa, I can so identify with that right now, (e:Hodown,232). I swear2god I am working in a Dilbert cartoon. Thank god for my cohort Steve. Which reminds me, I think I know what the next niche market to exploit is: insider code phrases for surviving in the corporate world. Steve and I came up with a few today, and I really think it's going to make life bearable in the days to come. Basically, it's corporate-sounding terminology that we have secret meanings for. So far we've got:

Term: "Sanity-check"
Usage: "We better have a meeting to sanity-check our proposed approach to this portion of the project."
Real Meaning: "This freakin' project is driving me insane! We better get behind closed-doors to bitch about it before I go ballistic."

Term: "Full Debriefing"
Usage: "We're long overdue for a full debriefing. We'd better reserve the private conference room so we can bring each other up to speed."
Real Meaning: Ok, I know what you're thinking. "Full debriefing?" "Private conference room?" Let's just say if things keep going the way there going, we may have to escalate this particular terminology along those lines. But for now, all it means is, "I have some incredible gossip that requires complete privacy to impart in all it's sordid glory."

p.s. -- they are already talking about extending our contracts through June or possibly even July. I think the next term we're going to need is "offsite." I'm not sure if we can get away with it quite yet, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

If you're interested in my usersound, you'll have to listen to the latest coverville podcast for the backstory.

(Sorry (e:Leetee) and (e:Uncutsaniflush) -- it's not Jim Carroll. That was just a free association.)

So, the good news is, I have a new Steve in my life. And just in the nick of time! He's my compatriot at "work." So I finally have someone to roll my eyes at during meetings.

I really shouldn't go into it, but you know the emphasis is misplaced when you're told to "read the dress code" so you don't risk "getting a citation." That's all I'm going to say about it.

(somebody had to say it)

Faithful, sometimes fanatical Apple customers continue to push the boundaries of loyalty

A Silicon Valley fairy tale: Apple at 30 -- from upstart to Wall Street darling

The man behind the Mac

Apple has made a career out of thinking different -- and regularly charting new courses for the computer industry: Timeline

Ok, I am so over this working thing. It was fun for a few days, but being held hostage behind the Berlin Wall of firewalls 8 hours a day is getting on my nerves. Plus, I got a High Priority request from one of my Premium Support users yesterday, (ok, it was my sister calling to tell me I missed one of the kids in the upcoming birthday countdown on the family web site), so naturally I had to drop everything to fix that. Spent about 10 minutes trying to poke a hole/get around the firewall to no avail. So I got the password for the "open" computer where you can allegedly check webmail and other potentially subversive tasks under the watchful eyes of the admins. I was there for about five seconds when I was reminded to use it "judiciously" or the question "why does a contractor need to use it" might arise. Because you have me in a freakin' straitjacket, that's why! This would take less than 5 minutes and I would be happy to punch out for the 15 minute minimum time-tracking increment just so nobody thinks I'm pulling a fast one. I mean, come on!

Not that it would be anybody's business how I might use my two 10-minute breaks required by California law, but it would be just my luck the "question" would be asked right in the middle of adding all FIVE birthdays for May. (Does my whole freakin' family go fertile in September?) So I decided I would spend that 10-minute break sulking in my cubicle instead. I know, I'm so mature.

And what important milestone on the critical path would I be impeding, you might ask? Printing out the company web site. That's what they have me doing this week. Oh yes, they got me my very own printer to accomplish this important task, and you can imagine my excitement when the project was escalated from "stapled sections" to "3-ring binder with dividers" at the weekly status meeting. If I had an ego, this would be demoralizing. But if they want to pay me an unseemly amount of money to print out their web site, I have no problem with that.

I wish I could tell you some of the Dilbert-esque stories about this place, but this one photo kind of captures it all for me. The employee handbook explicitly states you can only use the provided paper cups for hot beverages. No personal mugs or travel containers allowed. And you must have the company-issued lid tightly adhered in transit. But under no circumstances should you transport a hot beverage -- lidded or not -- between floors.



I don't think I've used one of these since kindergarten (before the invention of the juice box). I didn't even know they came with lids. It would take approximately 28 of these to make one Starbucks "venti" or whatever the hell they call a large.

Speaking of work, good luck with the job application (e:Leetee,153)! Oh, and for the citizenship question you might want to make a notation that you've got your Permanent Resident (green) card. In other words, have a comeback ready for any potential strike against you. (I don't mean to say that would be a strike against you, but you seemed to be concerned about it. And I'm big on notations, haha.)

Ok, that's all for now, except a few random pix off the cell phone.


Farmers' market at City Hall. No sign of protesters last Sunday.


I just thought this was funny. SF is such a live and let live town.

I'm already late for work, so I'm going to be lazy and round up some comments here.

Good luck with the job (e:Leetee,152)! I have a problem with lying too. Although sometimes I just present what is true in a positive way -- leaving it open to interpretation without actually saying whatever it is I'd rather not say. In your case, instead of choosing one of the supplied answers, I would make the notation "Attended high school in Canada -- now studying for U.S. equivalency degree" or something along those lines. If you didn't attend high school at all, just say "attended school" or "home schooled." Do you know how many kids in the US are home schooled these days? And you may very well have a better grasp of US history than most high school graduates, sad to say.

But the most empowering thing would be to get your GED. If it doesn't cost much, or it's free to retake the test, just take it and see how you do. Then you'll know what you have to study. And if you're really worried about US history, pick up Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States." I'm sorry I didn't keep my copy from Howie's class at BU, but I'll bet the Larson brothers have a copy lying around. Maybe you can borrow it. ;-)

Speaking of the Larson boys, I'm really sorry I missed seeing (e:Joshua,134)'s protesters and (e:Twisted,353)'s, counter-protesters in person -- especially since I walk by City Hall on a regular basis. So much for being a roving reporter. ;-)

I really and truly believe any counter-protest was relatively balanced against the protest, but no I didn't see it first-hand, so I can't say for sure. I have no doubt the "come back in the summer" comment was in good humor -- albeit a back-handed dig at a wasted day in SF.

If a bunch of people decide to publicly protest the traits we hold dear about the Bay Area, you can bet your bottom dollar San Franciscans will show up to defend our way of life. Which includes being free to embrace and express your sexuality.

As tempting as it might have been to align myself with the "I moved here to get away from people like you" counter-protester, I have to hold out hope these kids still have some growing up to do, and might still benefit from other role models. In the end, I think my sign would say, "I like San Francisco just the way it is. Why don't you check it out before judging?"

Damn. That's going to be a big sign.

p.s. -- I am so late now. I will probably edit this when I get home. WHY can't I get a job blogging?

This is hilarious, (e:Joshua,134). Since when does counter-protesting = intolerance? Ever heard of a debate? Not to mention, the San Francisco counter-protesters were accommodating enough to suggest "next time come back in summer" to avoid any chance of protesting / counter-protesting in the rain. Yeah, that sounds pretty intolerant.

I have a big problem with any organization that exploits people at vulnerable points in their lives. That includes some fraternities and most televangelists. Ron Luce of "Battle Cry for a Generation" may or may not be a televangelist, but he falls into the same category.

And you all know I have a problem with any organization that spends more time pointing fingers at an alleged "common enemy" than focusing on their own aspirations for the future.

If you think "same-sex marriage is another sign of the end of times" and you would rather see "Godly relationships than porn" then why the hell would you come to San Francisco? I mean, there are PLENTY of other places to get that. Is your life so shallow you have to pick a fight to make up for the fact that myspace.com is the Devil's playground so you're stuck with the "Christian alternative?"

All I can say is, I hope any of the protesters with some semblance of open-mindedness will be here next year holding signs saying "I moved here to get away from people like you."

p.s. - first day of work was fine. Thanks for asking.

I promised I would write about the new ©Picfeeder and ©Loudfeeder web apps -- although that was before I found out (e:Paul,4255) would throw me over for a Latina peep in a NYminute. ANYway...

I knew I might have some regrets about not getting the sexy, footloose, new MacBook. Don't get me wrong, I still stand behind my decision to go with the equally seductive but more anchored iMac. But having indulged my fantasy of untethered computing with my last two Mac laptops, then being forced to buy a PC laptop, (ok, nobody held a gun to my head, but I had a signed contract for 3 months onsite in Seattle that required I provide my own JSP development environment, so what else was I supposed to do?), I figured I was long overdue for something more substantial. Then (e:Paul,4256) goes and writes all these cool mobile apps for publishing "on the go." D'oh! You know I always wanted to be a roving reporter! This week alone I could be reporting "live" from San Francisco at any of these varied events listed for in the Chron's Pink Section:

NOISE POP FESTIVAL
The festival turns 14 with a jam-packed schedule of indie music, film and comedy at 16 Bay Area venues through April 2. It starts Tuesday at Bimbo's with the Flaming Lips

THE BUTTERFLY ZONE
Go eye to eye with a butterfly: At the Conservatory of Flowers' Butterfly Zone you can watch as butterflies do their thing amid the brightly colored blossoms.

SEX DIARIES
An ever-changing cast of characters read from their journals about getting freaky.

Now wouldn't that be fun? But no, all I get to do is snap pictures and grab sounds in my living room. Anyone want to help me pick out a ringtone? ;-)

But I did try out both apps and they ARE awesome, even though I don't have any content that would do them justice. Maybe when (e:Twisted,345)'s GetADate!® empire gets off the ground, I can justify buying a MacBook to record my interviews -- which not only would be an efficient use of time, but would also provide footage for the reality TV show demo tape. Not to mention an on-the-sly podcast for you guys, but that would be our little secret.

In the meantime, there must be some gizmo for the iPod that turns it into a camera/microphone, right? An iPod would be WAY more stealth -- I mean, convenient -- for my purposes. Hmmm ... I'll have to look into that.

So sorry I can't provide a podcast right now, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, check out the coverville podcast. Even if you're not into Nick Lowe (happy birthday Nick!) at LEAST fast forward to "Cruel To Be Kind" (time marker 6:30) and sing along at full blast. It'll do you good, I promise. Hey, there's an idea for an estrip-produced podcast -- karaoke covers! Put (e:Mike) in charge of that.

p.s. -- you guys are so lucky. I clipped "Cruel To Be Kind" from the podcast and made it my usersound. So now you have no excuse. Come on everybody -- sing along!!

p.p.s. -- is it me or does Ian Gomm sound remarkably like Arctic Monkeys lead singer Alex Turner? Maybe I've just listened to that playlist one too many times. But I swear I can hear strains of Mardy Baum in the background. Maybe it could be a mash-up.

Went to the beach this morning with Ron and Sammi. She's a celebrity now!

We met some friends there (three human, four canine) and basically had a great time. I wish I had found my digital camera battery charger on my shopping spree to the storage facility. But here are some generic pix of Fort Funston, exactly 9.2 miles from my house.

While we were wandering and regrouping and basically taking the dogs' lead by investigating whatever seemed interesting at the moment, someone said, "hey! that guy was totally checking you out!" It never dawned on me I might be the object of appraisal, but turned out it was me. And I missed the whole thing! Anyway, now I know how you feel, (e:Mrmike,27).

The last time I went to the beach with Ron and Sammi was in February, so I foolishly thought a jacket might be in order. Everyone else was wearing shorts and/or t-shirts then, so I felt a bit overdressed. Thought I would make up for it today with one of my newly liberated long-sleeve t-shirts. Got to the beach and it was windy and chilly (50degrees!) Luckily Ron had an extra jacket with him.

The moral of the story is, always wear layers in the Bay Area. And check the local webcam of the microclimate you're going to.

I took my friend's advice and went shopping in my storage containers. Found quite a bit of stuff just my size. ;-)

I'm finally weeding out things to get rid of (yeah, I know I should have done that before I moved) and it's kind of scary to actually examine all my stuff. I have quite a collection of stockings. I couldn't tell you how long it's been since I wore any of these, but I remember a time when I had a lot of fun accessorizing. Oh yes, I used to be quite the fashinista! Just ask (e:j3sse) if you don't believe me!



But I gave that all up when I started working from home almost five years ago. And it's been oh so easy the past five months living out of a suitcase -- makes it very simple to decide what to wear in the morning. But as long as I have to actually go to work starting Monday, maybe I'll give some of these another go. Although I don't know -- are brightly patterned tights in? Not that that ever stopped me before. I definitely have to add some fishnets though.

You don't even want to see my scarf collection. Now THAT'S out of control.

(...?...)

Today I was asked to vote for (my other friend Paul)'s band. Of course I did so immediately. You can tell from my usersound why.

So, this evening I poured myself a nice glass of wine. And when I returned to my "station" at the computer, I found another full glass already waiting there for me. That's the kind of day I've had.