A 'guest' just sent me a post it that said "ao did you have fun"

Ummm, sure?

So... I just got back from my grandfather's funeral. Sad, but all in all a nice day. Saw a lot of family that I don't see often enough.

My uncle gave a nice eulogy. I learned things about Grandpa I'd never known (he flew seaplanes?). But one thing he said that stuck with me... as he was winding up he said "so... dad was a great guy yada yada and he taught us right and wrong etc" but he said "he raised 3 kids. All three married. All 3 are still married. That says something. All 3 are here. He has 7 grandchildren, and one great grandchild- all of whom are here." And that made me really happy that I'd made the trip- even though it was a hassle, made me miss dave's party, made me miss allentown, was frought with my typical flight snafus, etc...

But so as I was driving from JFK wayyyyy out on long island this morning, I was thinking in the car "ok this will be sad and I will cry... (and not even so much b/c I'd devastated- but b/c I'm emotional and I cry) but at least I don't have to read."

Well... I get there... My mom is like "oh btw... will you read this poem? You don't have to..." But... I'm the oldest grandchild... of course I'm going to do it... Crap.

So... I did it... my mom and her brother and sister and all managed to do their parts without crying- and then I was the one up there blubbering. But I joked later that I figured it was my job to make anyone that wasn't already crying, start.

And afterwards everyone complimented me- which I didn't deserve.

But anyway, I just wanted to share the poem. It's a really nice sentiment.

Gone from my sight - Henry van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad should, "Here she comes!"

RIP Grandpa.

What is this bullshit, AT&T? Are you serious? The rest of the world can do it but you can't?

FINALLY- MMS:

"MMS support (send and receive photos/contacts/audio files/locations) in Messages app (29 carriers in 76 countries will support MMS at launch -- AT&T not until later this summer)"

And tethering:

"Tethering is a seamless experience -- once it's on, you don't have to run any additional software. Requires carrier support -- 22 supported carriers when launched -- AT&T was not included"

So much in a few days, good and bad. I will try to keep it brief. (but we know how that goes. ha.)

last tuesday I went to see the Tragically Hip at Artpark. It was my first Hip show. (which led me to put a comment about losing my virginity on facebook which did not go over so well.)
In any case, the show was great. Tons of fun. And a great time with a new friend.
Saw Dan there, and a buddy of his that I also know.
Afterwards we all hung out til like 3am. It was a shit show. Dan's buddy was flirting with me, which maybe bothered Dan (or maybe he was just drunk) b/c he started flirting with my friend.
Silly boys.
Though my friend said that in his drunkenness, he said something to her about how I broke his heart when I broke up with him. Huh? As I recall, it was the other way around.

He has pretty much ignored me since then, which at first made me sad, but now is really pissing me off.

Wed I went to Coles... talked to another new friend, who I wouldn't have thought I'd be interested in, but I'm finding that he's hilarious and I look forward to seeing him, so that's fun.

Thurs went to tequila tasting... the guy I was talking to a while ago was supposed to be there, but wasn't. I texted him saying we missed him, and he said he was at the Hip show. Which was shitty, b/c I'd invited him to the tuesday show, and he never answered me. So I guess that answers the "did he not kiss me b/c he's a gentleman, or b/c he's not interested?" question. Boo.
But whatever. I reminded myself that I don't have time for flakey guys who can't even call, no matter how cute and fun they are.

Friday went to a funeral all day, which was sad, but also a lovely afternoon spent with friends. Saw a hockey teammate of dan's there, who said he's a good hockey player. I relayed this message to dan, who got snarky and asked what I was doing hanging out with his friend. And then had to tack on "you know when you texted me the other day? I didn't answer because I was in bed. And not alone."

Wow, talk about unnecessary, dickish thing to say.

Friday night went to MASH bash, which I wanted to be fun... but really wasn't. I am really glad I got my ticket for free, b/c I would have been pissed if I'd paid $50 for that. I got separated from my friends, who wouldn't answer their phones, saw my other ex, with his fiancee, who was shooting daggers at me... Not to mention I'm on call all weekend and not drinking- it was just not fun, so I was home early.

Sat went to a friend's beach house in Fort Erie- gorgeous house, nice day, good people- fun fun fun.
But that morning had gotten a call from my dad that my mom had gone down to visit her father, and that he didn't look so great.

That night went to see the Hip again. Dan and his new GF (who I am friends with) and the buddy from last time were all there. I thought we were supposed to meet up. But Dan ignored me again. His buddy told me to come say hi- so during the break I did. I stood there for 5 min, until I felt like a total pathetic ass, and then walked away. The gf saw me and smiled and waved and I saw her poke Dan- who never turned around and looked at me.

Then during the encore my phone rang, and it was my dad. Uhoh. Why is my dad calling me at this hour. That's not good. I texted him that it was too loud to talk, but what was up. Well he confirmed my fears- my grandfather died last night. I'm still not exactly sure what was wrong with him- but it sounds like it was fast and (reasonably) peaceful, and my mom was there holding his hand.

His bitch wife (not my grandmother, she died about 10 years ago) asked if the funeral could be on thursday, b/c she has parties to go to this weekend. (seriously. She said that.)

I'm also upset with myself for not being more upset. It's just weird though. I had no idea he was even sick. :(

So, that put a damper on the rest of the night.

I texted dan that he had died, hoping he's not a monster and would say "sorry". But... no. He ignored me again.

i don't know what is up his ass, but he is being awful to me, and it's really breaking my heart. I know I should just write him off... but I can't. Even if I shouldn't, I still care about him too much.

I mean I know we're not together, I know he's seeing someone...
But I also know that he still cares about me at least on some level.

And I know I am going to miss him, and it will really break my heart if we don't make up and talk before I leave. But that's where it seems to be going. i tried to say hi to him on facebook this morning, but as soon as I said hi, he signed off so I couldn't talk to him anymore.

Dammit dan. If I didn't love you, I would hate you so much right now.

I've also hit kind of a diet plateau, which sucks. I have been gaining weight and I'm not sure why... blah.

So, all around kind of crappy, but with a few great highlights mixed in.

And then on top of it, my grandfather is dead. Boo.

On a lighter note, I'll end with some pix from the concerts, and my new fave pic of my sister and my niece.

But first an announcement-

I am moving 3 weeks from today.
Eep!
It's sneaking up on me far too fast.
Will need to have some sort of BBQ or something.

But onto the good stuff- just got this from my dad:

Recently Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.


Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00 dollars
Having Michelle Obama Serve you your soup: $0.00 dollars

Snapping a picture of a homeless person who is receiving a government-funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Blackberry cell phone: Priceless!

This is yet another tale of the ridiculous shit that happens to me. I must have done something cosmically awful in another life or something.

Oh but first one little aside- this weekend I read Buffalo Lockjaw. Enjoyed it. But I was wondering (to anyone else who has read it) did you notice that they name some places by their real names (faherty's, the old pink, etc etc) but then some others sound fictitious? Like they talk about a bar on Elmwood called "McGlennon's"- I wonder if they mean McGarrett's/Heenan's? And they talk about 'The Greenfield Club' on Delaware, but it sounds like the Saturn Club... Just wondering why some places need their names changed and some don't. Hmm.

Ok, but so what a freaking weekend.

Today is my friend's 30th birthday. I met her when she lived here, but now she lives in Texas. She wanted to have a big "girls' weekend" birthday party. Originally slated for Puerto Rico, but eventually scaled down to Charleston, SC- where another friend of ours lives. Problem #1 was that I mistakenly assumed "long weekend at the end of May" meant "Memorial Day weekend"- so when Memorial Day weekend was in fact LAST weekend- I got screwed with the work schedule, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

But ok. Fiasco #1:
Friday morning, I am getting packed and organized to head to the airport for my 2:30 flight. Want to leave my house at 1, but am running late. Finally I am packed, and start to lug my suitcase downstairs. I still have no idea what happened since it was all so fast- but I freaking BIT IT and fell down the stairs. Head over heels, nasty fall. This is a picture of the makeup stain on the wall from where my FACE hit the WALL at the bottom of the stairs.



My face hit the wall, and my neck crunched at a funny angle. Having spent my fair share of time in the ER at ECMC, my first thought was "oh shit, did I just break my neck?" But then I managed to stand up, and thought 'ok, phew. Not paralyzed'. Then I realized I was standing up and walking, so apparently no bones were broken. Then I looked down, and didn't notice any major bleeding. Then I immediately ran my tongue over my teeth to make sure I hadn't broken any teeth. Haha. So I was shaken up and sore, but OK. Of course, my suitcase did not fare so well. The handle was all bent, and even after un-bending it, I couldn't get the handle to go down. But, there was simply no time to go inside and find a different suitcase. Not to mention, then I'd have to check my bag, and united charges for checked bags, so fuck that. So, I finally get myself to the airport.

Then we have fiasco #2. Flight from BUF to Dulles is delayed due to storms in DC. They claim we are delayed 15 minutes. "No problem" I think, as I have 1.5 hours to make my connection.

Silly me.

First of all, the dumb bitch flight attendant wouldn't stop talking throughout the whole flight. The pilot was making some sort of important-sounding announcement, including the words "total ground stop" and "large delays" but that was all I could hear b/c she wouldn't stop yapping. Afterwards I asked her 'I'm sorry, i couldn't hear the announcement, what did the pilot say?' She of course didn't know. As the delays get longer and longer, I am getting antsy. I ask her "are we going to make our connections?" 'oh I don't know- when you get off the plane just ask the gate agent.' Of course, by the time we touch down and make it to the gate, it's 4:45, and my next flight leaves (not boards, leaves) at 4:51. I only have to go one gate over, but still- 6 minutes is not long. And then it takes them 10 minutes to get the gate-checked bags (i.e. every single carry-on) off the plane. While I am waiting for my bag, I dart inside to try to ask ANY gate agent to check on my flight, hoping they'll hold it 2 minutes. They refused. I finally get my bag, and run (limp) to the next gate. They say "oh sorry, that flight is gone". Meanwhile, I can SEE the plane at the gate, and they are JUST closing the door. But, they won't let me get on. Bastards. I want to know why there was a "ground stop" that delayed my first flight 1.5 hours, but my connection was RIGHT on time. And right then, they announce "Dulles airport is now closed until further notice due to thunderstorms". Great.

So... I go to get rebooked. Next flight is at 830 the next morning. Yeah, it's a two day trip... no big deal to miss one day. But they put me on standby for the 10pm flight, which would get me in at 1130. Not 630 like I'd hoped, but better than nothing. Then I try to argue with them that they should give me some sort of credit. They refused, saying it's weather. I said "but the gate agents refusing to call ahead for me, and then taking 20 minutes to get the gate-checked bags is NOT the weather. If your agents had done their jobs properly, I would have made my flight." But they weren't having it.

Fiasco #3-
9:50 flight. Supposed to board at 9:30.

It's 9:52. No gate agent in sight. No announcement about the flight. Board still says we are 'on time', though CLEARLY we aren't. Finally they update the board to say 10:06, still no announcement. Finally we get an announcement: "the plane is here, but a crew member is missing". Finally we leave- at 11:45, and I get in at 0115. Two hours late (really 7). No apology or explanation besides "crew member missing".

WHAT THE FUCK is that all about? What, he just didn't come to work? went on a bathroom break and didn't come back? FIRE that guy! Drag someone else in from home! That is NOT acceptable.
At work they often like to compare medicine (i.e. patient safety guidelines) etc to the airlines- how many hours they can work, etc. I am starting to resent that comparison. If I treated my patients the way these bastards treat us, I would not have any patients. Simple as that.

But finally, I make it to my friend's. We stay up til 3, then I go to sleep. Sort of. On a couch. With my friend snoring on the other side of the room. But saturday arrives, and the weather is glorious, and we go to the beach and have a lovely dinner and all is good. This is what my face looked like in the morning, where it hit the wall.



Then sunday is much too short, but we see downtown Charleston (beautiful houses). It's lovely:









Then we spend a little time at the pool, and then it's time to head home. :(
From this:


To this:

(and really, by the time I landed, it was down to 49 degrees.)

Finally I get my busted suitcase, find my car, am pleased that it was not broken into, and even more pleased when it starts (and stops- I just needed new brakes last week, an unexpected little 'surprise').

Get home around 1030. All I want to do is go to sleep. In my own bed.

Fiasco #4-
All day sunday a friend of mine is texting/calling me. "Can I stay at your place tonight, please please please". I really don't want him to, but... he's a friend, he's in a bind... what can I do. So I say "fine, but I won't be home til late". Hoping he'll take the hint and find somewhere else to stay. But he says 'great, thanks.'

So I get home at 1030. Text him that I'm home. No reply. At 1130 text "I'm going to bed." He replies "i'm on my way". I said "the door is open, lock it behind you."

Well around midnight he shows up, like a herd of fucking elephants. I am asleep, in my bed. He stomps in, turns in the lights, throws open the fridge, complains that all I have is healthy food, then bitches that he can't figure out how to check his email on my computer.

Then walks into the bedroom and starts getting undressed.

Um, no "go sleep on the couch"

"oh, come on... I won't touch you... let me sleep in the bed."

"no come on, please go sleep on the couch".

He refuses. And then just proceeds to whine and ask if we can 'cuddle' etc. [for the record, he and I have never so much as kissed, but that doesn't stop him from asking "can I see your tits?" 8000 times every time I see him.]

Then he asks "when did your body get so covered with spikes?"

HUH??

Then he laughs and says "sorry, I'm falling asleep".

and fall asleep he does.

And snore.

Until I finally get up, and go sleep on the couch.

Then his phone alarm goes off for about 2 hours straight in the morning, and then he needs an iron, and coffee, and breakfast, blah blah blah.

God dammit! All I want is to SLEEP IN A BED!

Oy!

And that, dear friends, ends my saga.

Now I guess it's time to get on with this day.

I move 3 weeks from tomorrow. :(

It's starting to hit me.

I'm going to miss everyone.

Ok, I know it's obnoxious to do this, and I apologize, but I can't help it.

As of this AM, I have lost 26.6lb.

And today, for the first time in as long as I can remember, my BMI is 'normal', and not 'overweight'. I still want to lose some more, but... I'm really excited.

All this #$%^& salad and not-drinking is apparently working. ;)

Funny thing- this psycho cow

has suddenly re-entered the picture, and is throwing around her standard "she is crazy. Tell her to go on jenny craig or something."

I finally responded to her. I said more or less

'you stupid bitch,
It's been months, and that's the best you can do? Jenny craig?
Which is ironic, since as far as I know you're about twice as big as I am.

Is your sad little life with your new fiance so empty and unfulfilling that you have nothing better to do than attack strangers on the internet?

Get a life."

She of course freaked out, called me fat and crazy, and said she wished I'd sent that to her directly so she could report me to facebook for abuse.

I'm finally realizing that she's just nuts. Simple as that. irrational and nuts.

In other news... I met a cute boy!! (in person!! a friend brought him as his guest to this dinner I went to, and we got to chatting.)
It's kind of exciting.
We've been talking.
Maybe dinner this week.
We'll see. Trying not to be too excited, b/c I'm sure it will blow up in my face and he'll turn out to be nuts, but... for now... the butterflies are fun. :)

Oh- and I just finished my last call at BGH, and am NEVER ON OVERNIGHT CALL IN THE HOSPITAL EVER AGAIN. EVER!!

Not to mention I'm done with the hellhole that is BGH.

So my niece went to visit her OTHER aunt last weekend...
I can't believe how big she's getting!!

Well, for the first time in my life, I have gotten NOTHING for my birthday from my family.
I mean, they sent me on vacation, and that was my bday gift, so I certainly can't complain... but mom has always sent SOMEthing. Some sort of care package with little goofy stuff in it, so that I have "something to open" on my actual birthday.

And this year...
Nothing.

I didn't even get a card.

Growing up sucks.