So, I'm really trying to stick with this move more/eat less business. So far so good, I'm down about 4lb.... The other night I went to Coles, and was SO jealous of the big juicy bacon cheeseburger and fries on the other side of the table, while I munched on my salad with dressing on the side.... But, I was good.... And I've been exercising, even if only a little, every day (well I've missed two)... I just keep looking at cute clothes and stuff and imagining how worth it it will all be when (not if! WHEN!) I can look hot in a bathing suit....

I haven't bought myself any new clothes in FOREVER, b/c I don't have the patience for shopping and have no fashion sense, but I just got a new catalog today (that I'd never even heard of- Boden??), and OMG I want about 75% of the things in it. Seriously, it's worth looking-
example- I want the dress AND the purse-


The thing is, I never cook. I end up eating a lot of Lean Cuisine type things, and cereal. And the food at work is so awful, and it hasn't even been two weeks but a cup of bland vegetable soup and a lousy salad with the only "lo-cal" dressing option is getting boring...

So I was perusing the weight watchers menu section... and wow, I'm almost inspired. They have a "staples" shopping list, that I really should just go out and buy. It will cost a ton initially, but then it would be so nice to actually be able to make something on a whim, without requiring a trip to the store.

Some of these "make stuff healthier" cheater recipes suck, because they take all the deliciousness out, but some are really good. I think this will be my first venture:

Thai chicken and string beans-

Ingredients
3 cup(s) uncooked string beans, washed and well-drained, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 spray(s) cooking spray
2 tsp jalapeno pepper(s), seeded and minced, or 1 medium Thai chile, seeded and minced*
1 medium garlic clove(s), peeled and smashed
1 cup(s) light coconut milk, divided
2 tbsp green curry paste, **
1 tbsp packed brown sugar
1 tbsp fish sauce, (nam pla; see note)
1 tbsp lemon grass, minced**
1 pound(s) uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut into thin strips
2 tbsp basil, fresh, minced
2 cup(s) cooked brown rice, or cooked jasmine rice, kept hot

Instructions
Steam green beans in a steamer basket on stove or in a microwave, until crisp-tender, about 5 minutes. Drain well; set aside.

Coat a large skillet with cooking spray and set over medium heat. Add jalapeno or chile and garlic; cook, stirring frequently, about 1 minute. Add 3/4 cup of coconut milk, curry paste, brown sugar, fish sauce and lemon grass; bring to a simmer.

Add chicken and reduce heat to medium-low; simmer, stirring occasionally, until chicken is cooked through, about 10 minutes. Add string beans and basil (mixture may separate). Add remaining 1/4 cup of coconut milk (sauce will be smooth again). Simmer until hot, about 1 minute more; remove garlic clove and serve over rice. Yields about 1 cup of chicken-string bean mixture and 1/2 cup of rice per serving.

I love it. :) I did a lot of christmas shopping at the Onion store this year, and actually almost bought myself that exact bottle, but I think they ran out.

Voila!


And I gave this to Dan:


And these to my BIL:


Hmmmm. Well pix are not uploading. [what's wrong paul? they're all sitting down there saying 0 percent complete. x2. They're only ~30k .jpg files...]

But Santa Drew gave me a water bottle that says "I will never take this camping"

I gave Dan a tshirt that says "Your favorite band sucks"

And I gave BIL a T that says, randomly, "Owls are assholes" and a coffee mug that says "I enjoy Colombia's second finest export"

Ok, so once again I spend my free time yesterday NOT doing chores (I mean really, so what if the christmas tree stays up one more day...)
and instead, did fun things.

Saw Slumdog Millionaire -> FANTASTIC

went STRAIGHT from there to Gran Torino -> ALSO FANTASTIC

then came home and watched a few episodes of Flight of the Conchords -> FANTASTIC,

and then fell asleep on the couch.
Woke up at 3 and went to bed.

Woke up again at 415 to drunk texts from friends, and was depressed b/c it was time to get up.

Then at like 5 of 6 got texts asking me to come out... friends were still out partying, while I was on my way to work.
boooooo.

But aside from that- great day.
I am also in a facebook faceoff which is very entertaining. Some nutty chick who is stalking a friend of mine and thus hates me since I'm his friend, called me nobody and fat, and I said I'd rather be fat than stupid and crazy. We went back and forth, then I deleted all my messages so now all that's left is her craziness, and it makes no sense with half the convo missing. (not that it made much sense to start.) Ahh, fun to be juvenile for a bit. (she had it coming, I promise.)

Go watch all those movies/shows!

Not now, RIGHT NOW!

:)

Well, round one bloodwork- all negative. Yay.

Felt a little pukey this morning, but I'm not sure if it's the meds, or the thai/wine/beer/no sleep from last night. either way, pretty much better now, except that food tastes gross.

And finally, an ecard that I could send to a few people these days...

Macworld is today. Apple's last. And sans Steve Jobs. The announcements don't look all that exciting to far, except as (e:fing) mentioned, Picasa for OS X. Oh, and that the songs from the itunes music store are now going to be available DRM free (for a price), which is kind of huge news.

What else...

Have to admit I'm a little hurt that I wasn't invited to Timika's Pearl street dinner, particularly after being her secret santa and asking several times to get together. Just throwing that out there.

And while I'm being a cranky bitch...

the new boy seems to be seeing someone new. And I am furious with myself b/c I find this makes me upset. I think I am a serious emotional cripple. I mean really... it's irrational and unfair for me to tell him that I don't want to see him anymore, and then be upset if he goes out with someone else. PARTICULARLY since I realized that despite what I might think, I have not been sitting home pining for him, and have been putting myself out there too, with varying degrees of success.

And the most awesome news of all....

Was in the OR yesterday.... doing a dumb little case that was "below me"- i.e. not a "Chief level" case, but something that would usually be delegated to the interns... But, I didn't have anything better to do, and felt like operating, so... I went in.

Enjoyed the case.

Until the end, when I stuck myself with a needle. No big deal, happens more often than it should. I was wearing two pairs of gloves (which I don't usually do). Didn't even think it went through the gloves. But at the end of the case I took my gloves off and inspected my finger, and there was a tiny drop of blood.

The kicker...

The guy has HIV and Hep C.

The chance of me catching anything is miniscule. But, it's not zero.

So... I am on a lovely anti-retroviral cocktail (complete with prophylactic anti-nausea meds) for 28 days. Have to have blood drawn to check my liver functions every two weeks (to make sure the meds don't put me into liver failure), and have to be tested for HIV/HepC at 2wk, 4wk, 6wk, 2mo, 4mo, 6mo and 1 year or something crazy like that.

What fun. And I thought the 9months of TB meds I took last year was bad enough. Stupid occupational hazards. :( I already had a skin cancer scare and a pap smear scare last year (that were negative, for the record), but I don't feel like having to worry about this.

But, better to be safe than sorry.

It was a low-risk incident (tiny scratch with a tiny needle), and he's a (relatively) low risk patient (his HIV and Hep C viral loads are undetectable), but... he's still positive and they now recommend the meds for just about everyone, even if the source patient tests negative, so...

I figure I'll sleep better at night.

Assuming I'm not up all night puking.

(but hell, maybe a month of GI distress will help me lose some weight. Silver lining, right?)

fun fun fun...

(and for the record, I think it's kind of huge that I am putting this out there, but I thought it was a good story. I still may take it down. But please do not take this the wrong way. I am not HIV+. You do not have to fear me and talk shit about me. K? I promise.) (not that anyone should/would fear or talk shit about people with HIV, but you know what i mean... don't want the rumor mill to go crazy here.)

Well, maybe the almost surreal night I had last night makes up for a lame new year's?

First, went to Roller Derby, finally. woohoo!! (and (e:dragonlady) I wasn't sure if you realized that was me talking to you in the bathroom after the bout... but great job out there. :) ) Also saw (e:zobar), and holly lulu and fritz... (whose relationship I take a small amount of credit for.) I went with a girlfriend, and then D met us there after he piped for the bandits. Also saw another friend, and some people from the hospital... seems I was running into people I knew around every corner. And then bumped into a friend of Dan's... Who I kinda got the feeling might like me last time I saw him. (i.e. when he asked Dan "why haven't you married this girl, you idiot??") So he asked me "how's danny? I haven't talked to him in months". heh, clearly. So I was like 'Um, I don't know, we don't talk anymore." Anyway, it was nice chatting with him, and then he actually came out with us afterwards for a drink. And I also ran into a friend who dropped a bit of a bomb on me... we have a bit of history, but never dated... he also dated a friend of mine, and I've always gotten the feeling that he still has a thing for her. Well last night he started telling me that I'm the one that got away.... that he's always regretted that we never dated... I said "I thought you still liked [my friend]" and he said 'her? nah... she's just an ex. You're different."

Wow, that kind of blew my mind. I had no clue. Not quite sure what to do with that info. he's in a serious relationship, but I get the feeling he might not be happy... Hmm.

Then this morning I couldn't find my wallet. Ugh. I was on the verge of cancelling my credit cards, when I went out to make yet another sweep of my car, and found it waaaaay under the seat. Phew. But, how did it get under there??

and finally, I leave with you with the cutest thing ever: it's a live webcam of a litter of 4 8week old English Bulldog puppies named John George Ringo and Paul. SO CUTE.



p.s. timika are you still here? I sent you an email about getting together before you guys leave...

Sigh... Hi peeps.

Wish I had stayed longer last night- but it was really good to see you for the few minutes that I was there.

Today is just a weird, melancholy day for some reason. Bleh. i don't mean to whine, but... oh well.

I think I hate new year's.

But it's my own fault.

Every single year I get my hopes up that it's going to be this big amazing night... and it never is... and then I'm sad about it. Last night was the same, and then some. (although last year, being at PMT's with Dan (and all of you) was probably the best new year's I'd had in years- so thanks. :))

First of all, I worked tuesday night. When I got to work in the morning, it was warm and the roads were dry. When I left the next morning, it was a freaking blizzard, a-gain. And on my way out, I slipped on some snow someone had tracked in, and landed hard on my right knee, which was sore and bruised for the rest of the day.

Then I got all dressed up for the night, only to realize I'm fatter than I've been in a long time (ever?) which is depressing. I really mean it when I say I have to exercise more this year... wii fit is a start, we'll see if I can stick with it.

But then walking out to the car, in ridiculous heels, on ice, I fell again, and smashed up my OTHER knee- and this one was bleeding. But we were already late for dinner, so I couldn't do anything about it. Just went out with a bloody knee and a hole in my stockings. (picking the panty hose out of the scab hours later when I went to bed... yeah that was awesome.)

But then the highlight of the night... went to O for dinner. My date's-friend's-brother is the chef there.... so I guess they always go, and he just sends food out... We never ordered anything, they just kept bringing stuff. wow, it was great. I think there were eight courses, but we had to leave before dessert. We had-
Crab bisque with truffle oil and sour cream
tons of sushi/sashimi
Tempura scallops with some wasabi cream sauce
steamed clams served in a curry broth
then the entrees-
some delicious beef (tenderloin?) cooked good and rare, with blue cheese
lobsters served with sweet chili sauce
and braised short ribs that just melted off the bone and were delicious.

And sake/wine/drinks too.

And that's where we had to leave- I hear dessert was something like jasmine-ginger creme brulee and tempura cheesecake. OMG.

So THAT was definitely awesome. And I met some new people, it was fun. And fun to be out all dressed up, even if I felt like a little old lady walking all hunched over trying to navigate the parking lot in the ice... I wished I had a walker.

But then we went to the Ice Ball, which I have to say was a huge disappointment. Which is a bummer, because I was really hoping it would be fun. maybe it would have been more fun if we got there earlier, but as it was we got there at like 11:15. Managed to check our coats and one glass of wine, and find TWO of the friends we were supposed to meet there- was expecting to see more.

Now, I didn't wear a watch, b/c it didn't match my outfit. I figured I had my phone if I needed it, and that at a party of 500 people, I figured I could trust them to remind us when it was almost midnight. So they had passed out noisemakers etc and we were milling around... the DJ was playing Living on a Prayer and so OF COURSE everyone was singing along. [side rant- did I miss the day in school where everyone in the country was taught that you MUST love that song, and that if you don't you are un-american? I just don't get it. I actually kind of hate Bon Jovi. There you go. I said it.]
Anyway, so the crappy song was over, and my phone beeped, I had a text. it said happy new year. I looked, it was 12:03.

Way to MISS MIDNIGHT, idiot DJ!!

there was never any countdown, any ball drop, any auld lang syne, any toast, any kiss, any "happy new year" proclamation.... bon jovi just ended and it was like "oh... i gues it's new years. ok."

So, that was just kind of weird. We never saw the "unlimited food, and champagne toast" that was supposed to be part of the deal, so... we left, pretty unsatisfied and wondering where our $50 had gone. And I was a little sad because I was hoping to hear from a few people at midnight, and did not. :(

oh, but on the way out, I saw a friend from work. When we'd first gotten there, we saw her and some other people from the hospital. On the way out, just the one girl. She said "oh did you miss the fight?" Um, yes we did.

So... I guess this guy likes this girl. But she's not interested in him, and has told him that. Well, I guess he was drunk, and saw her talking to some guy and got jealous or something, and punched the guy. Who I guess punched back. I just heard that someone was bleeding and they went to the ER.

Well I learned this morning- the guy went to the ER, then to the ICU, then to the OR for emergency surgery because he RUPTURED HIS EYEBALL. Holy crap!!

Anyway, so then we stopped by the 24... and I would have liked to stay longer but my date was waiting in the car with the engine running and didn't want to come in. :(

We went to another little house party, and then all of the sudden I hit the wall and had to go to bed. Was home around 4, and today i feel like I've been hit by a truck. My whole body is just sore. And mentally I just feel disconnected and off.

But this morning, went to brunch at date's-friend's-brother's (the chef) house- we had mimosas, fruit (fresh pineapple... mmmmmmmm...), Raisin challah bread french toast served with coconut banana sauce, and some delicious savory spicy scrambled egg dish.... wow.

And now I'm home. Haven't done anything productive all day. I just keep looking at the mess and wondering where to start, and going back to the couch. My house is a disaster, I need to take my tree down now I guess, I'm hurting physically and emotionally, I need to study, I'm feeling fat and gross and down on myself... bleh. I think it's time for a long hot bath and a DVD and early to bed.

tomorrow's a new day.... I can do all my chores this weekend, right?

Well, once again my life is drama. Sigh. Stupid effing boys.

But for now...

Ok, so I finally bit the bullet and broke up with the new boy.
I feel horrible about it. But it had to be done. The timing is shitty, but I decided that it would be worse to spend christmas with him and his family and put on a false front and THEN drop the axe.

He's given me a little attitude (like when I gave him his christmas present, he said "what's this? a breakup gift? 'now take this and get out'?"). But overall he seems to be handling it ok- already has some chick on facebook chasing him, and I think has a date tonight- or at least is making it seem that way.

But the weird part... within an hour of that, my phone rang. It was Dan. I did not answer. He left a really nice message about how just wanted to check in and make sure I was doing OK with the snow and wasn't snowed in or anything. The timing was just so weird. I was like "OMG he knows"- but there's NO WAY he could have known.

In any case, it's nice to know he thinks of me still. :)

Then this morning I went to work... first day back at ECMC, blech.

But so it's a whole new batch of patients and I have to get to know them. We walked into one guy's room... 30something.... Came in as a John Doe... riding his bike a few weeks ago, and was hit by a car. Bad head injury. He's not braindead or in a coma or anything- like he may look at you if you talk to him, he may wiggle his toes if you ask him to- but there's no glimmer of recognition... he can't talk... can't feed himself... it's really really sad. And far too common. :(

But what makes it even more sad... He has an unusual last name. And I know one other person with that last name. And she's about his age. And she has a little baby. I just thought 'oh god, I hope this is not her husband". And I looked around the room for requisite family photos... and there's a pic of a baby that looks like this girl's baby... but then again, all babies sort of look alike... So when I got home I sent her a message.... turns out it's her brother.

I mean it's always sad, but somehow it's just that much more tragic when I have a personal connection to the patient- even if it's really indirect. So who knows... sometimes these patients make amazing recoveries. But... a lot of times they do not. :(

But on a cheerier note, I'll end with a few pix....




My little tree... in varying degrees of photo quality, and varying light conditions. :) It makes me happy.



My street, as I came home from work yesterday morning. AWESOME plow job, no?

A few Santa Pub Crawl pix...

SHOTS!




(my bus boyfriend on the right. Not sure who he's cheating on me with in that pic. ;) )




And saving the best for last, a few new baby pix. :)