... that drinking my face off is NOT that fun? I get the worst hangovers EVER- yet somehow "conveniently" manage to forget that lil tidbit all the time.

It is almost 5pm. I am still not quite feeling human yet. Getting there, but not quite. Seriously. This is ridiculous.

So I thought I had a shitty night a while ago... (e:jenks,161) But this was even worse.

Since I had a shitty week, and since I didn't have to work today, I figured I'd go out and get drunk. Haven't done that in a long time. So I called a few friends, who didn't call back. Then I saw my lush friend online, and invited myself to hang out with him and his friends. But they weren't going out til late, so I figured I should start drinking a little on my own or it would be no fun to get there and be the only sober one. So I had a beer, and 2 vodka/red bulls over the course of 2 or 3 hours.

Finally go the kid's house around midnight. Immediately a bottle of wine is put in my hand and I'm told to take a swig. So I had some wine. Not a ton though...

So then we walked to cozumel, where I had "what they're having"- a sparks. Gross. And that was it for the night. Not a TON I didn't think... But, I didn't eat dinner so maybe that was it. I dunno.

But so after the one drink at cozumel we walked to frizzy's. At least I think it was frizzy's. I'd never been there before, but there was a photo booth. That's frizzy's, right? I ended up dancing with this one kid for a while (timika- "your" boy from st. pat's)... it was fun, he was spinning me all over the place. I was having a good time, and managed to get my mind off the boy for a while.

Then I went to the bathroom... and I don't know if it was just the change of pace from dancing or what- but all of the sudden I was trashed. Like retarded drunk. Had to go outside for air. I really wanted to go home, but didn't think I could stomach a cab ride at the moment, so I sat down on... I dunno what it was. some curb thing. And I just had to sit very still so things wouldn't spin. I felt disgusting. I kept thinking "i need to go home" but every time I moved my head I thought I would puke. So I figured I'd just sit there for a bit and let it pass. But it wasn't passing. I didn't think I would ever be able to get home. At one point I even contemplated finding some nice soft grass and going to sleep. WTF.

So I was just sitting there, alone, drunk, with my head on my knees, afraid to move. No idea where my "friends" were. People kept walking by and saying 'you ok sweetheart? need a cab?" and I would say no I was fine. At one point this chick came over and said "oh honey... let me put your hair up for you in case you puke..." and she put my hair in an elastic. (very strange, in retrospect, but it seemed kind at the time...)

I have no idea what time it was, but it was late. I really needed to go home. Just then a cab pulls up and the cabbie yells out the window that I should get in. So I did. And I just hoped that I wouldn't get sick the whole time, and kept my eyes closed.

So I don't really know what happened- but I guess he saw some girls run a light and run into a statue or something. B/c next thing I know these girls are getting in the cab with me... cabbie is yelling at them that they can't just flee the scene of an accident. The girl is crying and asking that he not tell... I'm just thinking "oh my god i want to be home". Finally the girls get out somewhere. Eventually we get to my house.

I go to pay my fare. And my wallet was gone. I think maybe the girl who put my hair up took it out of my purse. The cabbie is (understandably) pissed that I can't pay my fare, but what am I supposed to do? So I give him my number and he says he'll call tomorrow. Fortunately I still had my keys and my phone and everything.

Oh and the worst part of it all- i had almost $400 dollars in my wallet that I was meaning to put in the bank.

FUCK.

So I finally went to bed, I think it was 4 or 5 or so. Felt ok when I first woke up. That's the nasty thing about my hangovers. They sneak up on me. I feel ok at first, then it creeps in. I kept trying to get up and get out of bed- and within 10 min would have to climb back in bed.

Then my credit card company called to report "fraudulent activity". Apparently whoever it was tried to buy gas 3 times on my card. Then I checked online, they charged gas FIVE times on my other card. And didn't charge ANYTHING on my amex...

So, all my cards are cancelled now. And all charges are cancelled. So I'm "just" out the cash I was carrying. (what an idiot! I never carry that much money! Ugh I could shoot myself...) And now I need to work on getting a new license. what a pain in the ass. And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do for cash until my new cards come in the mail... My bank is all by mail, so I don't know if any bank here will let me cash a check...

Cabbie just came over and argued with me about taking a check, but since that was the only option, he had to. He was nice and said he'd been worried about me. But when I asked why the fare from allen st to forest was $23, he said it was $13 with a $10 fee for not paying. He said he'd rather do that than "get the police involved". That shut me up.

So I still need to go to the police to file a report since the credit card company wants it.

Which means I need to get to my car.

It's too far to walk.

I have no money for a cab.

I guess I will start calling around.

Seriously... could I have any more bullshit drama in my life?

At least, 12hr later, I am almost to the point that I can walk around the apt without feeling ill.

And all this from 4-5 drinks? I mean I know that's not NOTHING, but it's not THAT much that I should be so miserable today. I blame it on the Sparks. Yuck...

This was really not how I was hoping to spend my saturday... and I have to work tomorrow.

Blah!

-J

Ok, so I really don't believe in astrology. And I usually don't bother to look up my horoscope- one b/c I couldn't be bothered, but two b/c if it's something I WANT to hear, it gives me false hope. If it's something I DON'T want to hear- I just write it off as "astrology is stupid". But, if it's sitting there, I'll read it. And I just found this one-

"Behind the scenes of your day-to-day life, some misplaced energy has clouded your judgment. Today that energy is finally starting to come together into a more focused idea or emotion. Don't be alarmed if it pops up at an inopportune time. Just be grateful that it's popping up at all! The situation with someone else may soon solidify. It looks like you're finally getting through. All your efforts and honesty are paying off. Be confident about the future. "


Ahhh... if only it were true... A girl can hope, eh?

(e:twisted,413)

So I'm not that much of a girly-girl and I really don't like shopping very much... but the other day when I was feeling down and crappy I decided to go to the galleria to get a haircut [sorry lilho... i'll catch you next time]. And I must say... the included tea/scalp massage/ hand massage/ makeup application at aveda is awesome. And not even as expensive as you'd think. And since I can't walk by the Apple store without going in, I went in to see if they have the new wireless mighty mouse yet, which I've been waiting for forever (they don't- maybe by today). but as I walked by old navy I stopped in b/c they were having a sale, and I figured I'd see if they had a denim skirt I like... Well they didn't, but I did buy one other cute skirt on super-sale, and a pair of shoes. They're very un-me with sequins and ribbons and rope wedgie heels... but I wore them today... I think I had ten compliments by the time I'd been here two hours. Random people in the hall stopping me and telling how cute my shoes are. Slightly less random people telling me "something's different... I can't put my finger on it... but you look great! Cute shoes!" (it's the one day of the week that I'm not in scrubs, and I (gasp) have my hair down. I think the non-ponytail is what strikes them as odd)

So even though it really doesn't resolve any of my underlying issues, I must say- these cheap little old navy shoes have made my day. I might not quite be smiling yet... but maybe I'm getting there.

Oh, and I got a random (but pleasant) email from the ex today, saying "we still have to get that coffee" that we talked about months ago and not since. An unexpected, but I guess not unwelcome, surprise.

(unfortunately I'm not sure it's possible to take a flattering picture of one's own feet, not to mention the lovely floor tile at the VA, but here you go).



ok- and a totally random and unrelated P.S.
First, let me say- I am not an especially outdoorsy person. Not that I don't LIKE the outside, but "let's go for a hike!" is not usually the first thing that comes to mind when I have free time. That said, all of the sudden I really want to go camping. I want to sleep in a tent. We used to set up a tent in my backyard- but it was within a few feet of the house (and bathroom) and sometimes we would even run an extension cord from the house. I don't think that really counts. And then I remembered this old military hammock-tent we used to have... It was so cool. has a roof to keep rain out and you're zipped in mosquito netting to keep bugs out... I loved that thing. And I found them online! only $40! I want one!
or the fancy lightweight camping versions- but they're like $100-$200.

I have no idea where this camping bug came from, but all of the sudden I wanna!!

Perhaps all is not lost...

Getting out of the house and seeing friends yesterday has helped me get things in perspective a little...

So my userpic is a little less sad today. Hopefully one of these days it will be back to normal. :)

previous post hidden.

userpic says enough.

But thanks for the comments.

(but first if you haven't seen it- look at the pic in the post below.)

But for any music-lovers out there, I have recently been turned on to some cool websites.

First- Pandora. www.pandora.com Based on the "music genome project". You tell it a few songs or artists that you like, and it claims to analyze your taste in music ("mellow vocals" "acoustic guitars" "minor key" etc) and it makes you a personalized internet radio station of stuff you should like. Then when it plays, you can give songs thumbs up/down and it gets better. And I guess you can see other peoples' stations etc etc. And they even have a cool-looking piece of hardware that lets you stream it (and i assume other radio) to your home stereo...

So I told my self-proclaimed 'music elitist' friend about it, thinking he'd love it... and he said "yeah... pandora is ok. Check out last.fm" www.last.fm

For that one you install a little plug-in type program, the "scrobbler" and it monitors what you listen to when you play itunes (and they claim to not be all big-brothery and keep records) and it makes all these charts and stuff and recommends other music based on what you've played... and then on top of that it's like a music myspace and you can have friends and stuff...

I'm sure I've only seen the tip of the iceberg... but it seems pretty cool.

check it out!

-J

oh my god.
brain fart.
I totally forgot, until paul reminded me, that (e:kara,88) is where I heard about Pandora in the first place.
I take no credit. :)

Ok, enough whiny mopey stuff.

I just got this in an email... Nothing else to the message, just the title "what would you do?"

Too funny.

So... I'm stuck at work on call, and things are blessedly quiet right now. (I almost hate to write that for fear of jinxing it.) So I am chilling in my call room. Where there is no tv. And god knows studying is a LAST resort. And I can only check my email/estrip so many times... But I did get a "new address" email from a friend from when I was in DC. And that combined with my missed connections with friends over the weekend got me thinking about all my old friends....

So I planted myself on the bed and started scrolling through my phone book, calling all my great old friends that I haven't talked to in months (or years!). I texted one guy "how are you?" only to get "who is this?" in reply. Hmm... guess I've been deleted from his phone. haha. (he was not a great old friend.) Then I called ten people. TEN. Not including my sister. One girl's number isn't even in service any more. And eight of the nine others didn't answer. We'll see if any of them call back, but I'm not holding my breath... But the one guy that actually did answer... well we chatted a little, and it was nice. But he was at work (forgot about the california time difference). Learned that one friend, who got married about 2 years ago (probably the last time I saw him), just almost got divorced, but then reconciled. But then we were talking about another friend's wedding... I knew they were engaged, but hadn't heard anything about a date yet. Andy said he'd just gotten back from the bachelor party... I asked when the wedding is... he said august... I asked "so... have invites gone out?"

Silence

Umm.... yeah......
Sorry Roet.... you're not invited.

Ouch.

I mean I know we've kind of lost touch, and I guess you have to draw a line somewhere... but Adam has always kind of held a special place in my heart... and I'm not even invited??

I started making all those calls to reconnect with friends... but now I feel even more isolated. Sad...

Sigh....

I wish somebody would answer the phone so I don't just have to sit here all night.

Oh look... there goes my pager. :/ That should keep me busy for a while....

later peeps.

-J

Wow... i just got a weird sad-sounding voicemail from a friend that he 'needs to talk to me' but now he's not answering. He sounded like shit. Hope everything's ok...

But anyway that's not why I am writing.

So I never saw my friends this weekend, and still no word from them. Bummer. I know they didn't do it on purpose, and I know how it is to be back home just for a few days and pulled in a thousand directions, but still it stings a little. But I could have been more aggressive about finding them, too, so I guess I'm to blame too.

But it also makes me feel like a jerk for letting it ruin my day. I should control how my day goes, not other people. I should be in charge of my happiness, not them.

So today I had a craving for thai, and invited the boy, but it was too short notice... So we'll do it later this week. Totally reasonable and acceptable. But then rather than mope about the fact that we couldn't have dinner, I just decided to do other things. So I washed my car, inside and out, for the first time in about a year I think. It took about 3 hours. So if it rains soon, I take responsibility, and I apologize. ;) And when I came back inside I had messages on my phone. People called! they want to see me! yay!

So then I decided to do good-for-me things. I wanted to 1: study and 2: see friends. I don't want to be one of these people that ditches her friends as soon as there's a boy in the picture. So I went to spot. But spot pissed me off. It was the first time I had been in AAAGES, and:
1- I got there at 8, and they were closing at 9 (instead of 11.)
2- The kitchen was already closed
3- No spotties working. Just weird girls I didn't recognize, and threesome girl.
4- People were sitting in "my" study seat.

So... I decided to walk across the street to check out the new sushi place, and meet Timika. There was a pretty long wait, and while I was waiting, I chatted with Jason. Then saw a girl walking a really pretty pit bull, which made me think of the boy. (awwww. Barf. i'm a sap.)

So we finally got a perfect table outside, and the weather was just right. What a beautiful night... So we chatted and laughed and caught up and had some yummy dinner...

And then...

I saw someone walking... he looked familiar... wasn't sure... I was practically kicking timika under the table and hissing "drchlorine! drchlorine!" So she looked, and confirmed that it was indeed him. She said "hi david" but maybe a little quietly... and he totally ignored us and walked on. I guess there's a CHANCE he didn't see/hear us- but I think he did.

It was hysterical.

So I had to share.

Ok... guess I will try to call Sad Friend again.

Happy monday, everyone. :)

-J

A gentle request...

If you're "coming home this weekend only!!!!" and "really really want to see [me]!!!!" and I say "would love to see you too, but have to work xyz times" and so we talk about getting a drink thurs, please get in touch earlier than 1am thurs night saying "get your ass to the Pink!!!"

And then when I return your call the next day, and you say "come to a movie with us sunday after brunch!" and I say "ok! sounds like a plan!" and then I sit at home the whole freaking day afraid to go for a bike ride or hang out at spot, or make plans with Mr. Boy b/c you are in town 'just this weekend' and 'really want to see [me]" and I don't want to blow you off, and so finally call you at 4pm to ask "what's the plan?" and you take 2 hours to answer and then just say "erin had to work"- don't be mad when I write a bitchy post and call you crappy friends.

I'm so crabby right now.

I sat on my ass all day, turning down other invites, and missing my last chance to see the first shakespeare play, because I wanted to see my friends that were back in town just for a couple days. And then they totally fucking stand me up.

I bet I'll get a call tonight at 2am saying 'meet us at prespa!'

Not to be an old fart... but I don't usually START my night out at 2am when I have to be at work at 6am the next day.

I love finding out just how much I actually mean to some people. :(

Just makes me feel like an asshole.

On-call saturday plus being stood up and thus wasting sunday would equal "craptastic weekend" but a lovely friday will make me call it a draw.

Hope you peeps had a better weekend than that.

Blah!

-Miss Crabby Pants