Even though I've been rather anxious lately, there is always something that comes to your attention that makes you realize your problems aren't that bad after all.

A friend of mine who plays basketball in England is in serious doo-doo. He got into a car accident and he is now unconscious. Signs are good so far, and there is reason for cautious optimism, but it is still troubling. It was only maybe a couple of months ago he was here with us at Faherty's having drinks, me congratulating him over his championship season (btw - don't ever date a girl whose best friend is a bartender at your favorite bar - you lose no matter what).

See, when you think of a pro athlete, many things come to mind, not all of them good. Arrogant. Womanizer. Full of his own shit. Brian is a solid guy, nothing like that, and sometimes I wonder how it could happen to him instead of me. I've been rotten at times. I deserve it a lot more than he does. He's laid up, and I just have certain monetary issues to deal with.

So, if you're faithful, or even if you're not, send out some good vibes to my friend Brian, who is in England right now battling.

Bring me a bottle of whiskey when you pick me up. Por favor.

Be thankful, don't take it for granted. Drink it up like a frothy orange bottle of Spa....errr, some booze that someone besides me likes.

Gramma said life would have ups and downs. Kinda tougher to deal with when you're wearing ankle weights. Just got some news and it looks like some worries of mine are going to fade.

And, before anyone thinks I'm going all soft and mushy, fuck the golddiggers.

Thank you for your support.

I continue to ruin my future political ambitions with every journal I write. But, hey, I really wasn't too sure what to call this post, but I wanted to run with the topic since people seem to be interested.

I really won't get into the dynamic of the relationship between my friend and said hottie in too much detail, and I can't be the judge of whether or not he's getting "value" out of the relationship. What I will say though, is that if it were MEEEEEEE...........I probably would bail. But, hey, what do I know, his results are a lot better than mine. I am not really willing to put up with BS anymore (which becomes offensive to people sometimes who aren't used to it), and I'm alright with saying goodbye.

I haven't spoken with him to determine exactly how he feels about it, but I can only imagine he wasn't too happy about it. I at least helped absorb some of the pain. I know I wasn't going to pay for those drinks in full, but right or wrong, if you make a stink the jerk becomes you, instead of the entitled birds who should be the target.

See, I have no problem being nice and offering a drink to someone. The problem is that some people think of it the wrong way. They think of it as, how can I get drunk on this bastard's dime? This attitude is fairly rampant in certain circles. It is an entitlement, not a nice gesture to appreciate. This makes me turn really, really sour. I don't think people should be treated that way. I can tell you, when a chick buys me a drink it is a huge shock, and my reaction is always positive and grateful.

It's almost like people have forgotten how to do something good for someone else. They expect some kind of down payment first. they expect to get one over on someone, and they're okay with it. That's not the way I want to go through life....how about you?

How was your weekend, peeps? I hope you all had a good time. Especially those on programmer retreats. Four women, haha. That's about right. I will say though, I will say......I have "dated" a pretty good looking female programmer. It didn't work out, but at least I know there are legit dork girls out there. Fun times.

Speaking of women, I'm compelled to produce a comment to (e:Ajay)'s latest:

The confidence/arrogance thing leads us back to exactly what I referred to with my little fictional character with the right look, car, etc, and whatnot. Things, as they usually do, come full circle. What people say they want, and what they actually respond to, are not always the same, and people are easily fooled, which easily explains one of the reasons why it has become cliche to say "Why are there no good men?"

(e:Ajay) is exactly right (with age and experience comes wisdom) in that a confident man does not need to broadcast his awesomeness to the world, but somehow an arrogant SOB who does broadcast it will still often be confused for the confident man. It is not just about the material things (which if we're honest, are always important to some extent and do play a role), but what those things represent, and how his ego is projected. I can't say I fault you for this ladies, because the difference is subtle at first. Eventually, people become who they are.

Misandry, while politically correct and socially acceptable, is also about as much of a turn on as rotten foot smell, but hey that never really stops anyone.

A little story for you guys. On Friday we went out (a friend came from Philly to visit) and my best buddy brought one of his women along. Nice girl. She brought some friends along, who proceeded to drink up a nice big bill, but weren't so willing to pay for what they drank.

Now, there are a few ways to handle it. You can demand they pay for what they consumed, which results in being labeled cheapskate, regardless if you even know the people or not. You can just pay the big bar tab, but then you are an enabler and a first class chump, although you look like a "nice" guy.

If you're curious, one alternate way is to just pay over double what you owe, and make your buddy pay the rest. Morally correct? I really don't know. The whole situation was freaking weird. What would you have done?

Oh yeah, (e:Ajay) - way to go out there in SF!!

(Cue Oasis' "Roll With It")

Yeah, so I'm sort of hung over this morning. I hate the feeling. Yesterday when I got home from work I turned on my new PC (the one whose first motherboard failed, causing me grief) and the damn thing wouldn't start up. AGAIN. sigh....

Of course, me being me, it really put a damper on my spirits (this is the diplomatic way of saying I shouted and cursed over it, hands shaking). I really don't want to have to re-build the damned thing but there isn't much choice. NewEgg is great about returns, and they are waiving a bunch of fees and shit so I don't go all Chernobyl 2.0.

So I went to my weekly Gordon's trip with Jerry, and had a nice mini-bender. I don't really do that anymore, but last night was a special occasion. I think I only spent $17 which is awesome. Sam Adams Winter Lager is great out of the tap. I managed to make it home okay. The Sabres lost in OT, but I was too busy talking to some Union employees about the County Executive race to pay much attention to the game.

By the way, the union folks I talked to were cool. They want me to vote for Keane, because, you know, he's a Democratic, and he's for the people. Democratic For The People. Hmm. I like that, a take on the REM album title. Anyway, I respect the proletariat, but they say that they "want to give up NOTHING" in negotiations, which is sort of not how negotiations work. There comes a time when you either have to be realistic, or you're all going to be out of a job (just ask Delphi).

I hate how politicians here frame things - they think of people and businesses strictly as tax revenue. Sam Hoyt does this often. How much can we squeeze out of them? You see, we have recently had NEGATIVE private sector growth, to go along with our brain drain and population loss, a slow bleed that is going to kill us. Of course, last year we have done better, with a private sector growth rate of 0.1 percent. Yes you are reading that correctly.

We all want great stable jobs with great benefits, but we don't want the business activity here to generate those things. Elect a Democratic to codify private sector fisting. Business is the devil. I guess that's fine, if you want to struggle for another 50 years, or if you have a cushy Public sector job and don't give a shit. I want Buffalo to flourish and prosper. I don't want another union crony. Don't get me wrong, Unions are important, businesses aren't always going to do the right thing on principle, but does anyone else see that Union people have a seriously vested interest in their company being healthy and successful? The message I receive is that they don't give a shit as long as they get their fat pay and benefits.

Sorry to be so long winded. I guess I don't care if it's a (D) or an (R) as long as we move past the cronyism and hand-wringing, and start to get serious about administering CPR to Erie County and Buffalo.

As for the hangover, I'll get over it. Adversity builds character, and I know I could use a good slap now and then. People, I <3 you all.

Bob Goulet, singing "Soliloquy" from Carousel. All I have to say is, WOW, what a voice. Incredible. Performers like this are becoming rarer and rarer these days. RIP!

As of a few weeks ago, after seeing the Republican forum moderated by that worm Chris Matthews, I think the best choice from the Republican side is Mitt Romney. He is so damned Presidential. Even hard core Libs I interact with begrudgingly give him respect. On the Democrat side, I like Biden the best. He is probably the most likely not to be confused for a European.

Of course, we also know that due to our culture of celebrity worship and absolution there is no chance in hell that the President won't be either Rudy or Hillary (puke).

How anyone can support Hillary and keep a straight face I have no idea. I don't think we want to trade a king for a queen, a liar for a liar, an imperial President for an imperial President. Some people hated it with Bush and love it with Hillary, betraying common sense and consistency. She freaked out the other day when Tim Russert actually called her on her usual double speak and insincerity. Imagine how she would react to any kind of non-compliant Press member at the White House? Yikes.

Rudy, well, he can't keep on living off of 9/11 and the Yankees forever. I like how he goes after Hillary, but Josh and I both agree that pimping 9/11 and the baseball analogies over and over and over are becoming very boring very quickly. He leads most polls but I think, like Hillary, he is one of the weaker candidates for his party. I liked him at first because he's a moderate, but it seems he is out of his league, and if he can't be bothered to talk about something else I can't be bothered either.

So I think for now, overall I am supporting Mitt, but I am not marrying myself (get it, polygamy, ehehe, ehehe. ehmmm). Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich are great in theory, but are both impish, leprechaunesque figures who don't quite have the cult hero, celebrity worship appeal that Rudy and Hillary have.

The election is still a year away....................anyone else think the election season is far too long?

A friend of mine recently got broken up with, for of all reasons, that she earns too much. She dated a regular joe, blue collar factory guy for 5 months, and never was there a problem really (besides the occasional out-of-your-element moments at the martini bar I suppose).

But to know what he said about himself, it is heart breaking. "I am only this. I am only that. Just a nobody factory worker. You deserve something so much more than me." Hearing that made me want to put my arm around the guy and ask "Hey man, why do you feel that way?"

Of course, I have not been a stranger to those kinds of sentiments, so I really do feel for the guy. He knows how he is going to be judged by many women, and the mistake he made was that he applied it to someone who already accepted him the way he is! Playing the percentages is for wimps.

In the end, his own low self esteem was his (and her) undoing, and so my friend threw her arms in the air because she didn't think that way about the guy at all. He made her happy, and when you tear down all of the attitudes, the bullshit, the expectations - that is what we all want the bottom line to reflect.

You see, guys want to be the hero, and we are conditioned to think that being the breadwinner is the way to achieve it. I think there are a million ways I can be a hero to someone, each having nothing to do with money. Seeing as more women than men are attending college nowadays, and the gap for grad school being even wider, I expect these kinds of problems to only become more plentiful.

If I were in that situation, I would just be really happy for her as long as she didn't hold it against me. She can buy all the diamonds and great clothes in the world, and I would love to see her in them, and I would be proud of her. I feel so damn bad for my friend. She did the best she could and still ended up getting the short end because of something that had nothing to do with her.

Do you see that we are always finding new reasons to reject people and push them away? One thing I'm learning is that when you push people away, sometimes you are really going to wish you hadn't.

Find a reason to pull people into your life instead.

......and not everyone is forgiving. See, sometimes even when you want to do the right thing, you will not earn a good result for yourself. Sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes people are content to be bitter. Sometimes a heartfelt apology doesn't work. All you can do is try your best, and work on the damage control.

It made me think about whether or not it is better to just skip to the end and be a total jerk, because you will be treated like one anyway, made fun of, so on and so forth. It is really tempting to say all the nasty things you've always wanted to say, to hurt them, or at least to make yourself feel better for a while.

Or maybe it is better to just not give a damn what people say, because most of them are ignorant, full of shit to begin with, and have no impact on your life whatsoever. They will throw you under the bus. They are non-entities. Their opinion is worth as much as a rock's opinion. We all know who matters and who doesn't.

I don't think either approach will work. Being a jerk from the beginning means compromising your principles, and risking alienating the people who you care about, as well as potential new friends. Not giving a damn means closing off opportunities to have more people in your life who you care about. You can't just not care. It doesn't work that way.

Maybe the compromise is to just be ruthless with people when they really deserve it. Nobody ever got anywhere taking it on the chin all the time. Maybe, in some cases, Islamic justice goes along with human nature.