......and not everyone is forgiving. See, sometimes even when you want to do the right thing, you will not earn a good result for yourself. Sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes people are content to be bitter. Sometimes a heartfelt apology doesn't work. All you can do is try your best, and work on the damage control.

It made me think about whether or not it is better to just skip to the end and be a total jerk, because you will be treated like one anyway, made fun of, so on and so forth. It is really tempting to say all the nasty things you've always wanted to say, to hurt them, or at least to make yourself feel better for a while.

Or maybe it is better to just not give a damn what people say, because most of them are ignorant, full of shit to begin with, and have no impact on your life whatsoever. They will throw you under the bus. They are non-entities. Their opinion is worth as much as a rock's opinion. We all know who matters and who doesn't.

I don't think either approach will work. Being a jerk from the beginning means compromising your principles, and risking alienating the people who you care about, as well as potential new friends. Not giving a damn means closing off opportunities to have more people in your life who you care about. You can't just not care. It doesn't work that way.

Maybe the compromise is to just be ruthless with people when they really deserve it. Nobody ever got anywhere taking it on the chin all the time. Maybe, in some cases, Islamic justice goes along with human nature.

I'm reminded of what my uncle said to me one time when I wasn't doing so good. I'd link it but I don't remember what post it was I relayed the story. Anyhow, he asked me if I stepped on any ants when I walked outside. I said that I didn't know, that I had no idea if I stepped on any ants. He said I could relate that to my own circumstances, that I shouldn't be mad at God or the world, that sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the ant I might have stepped on.

I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. God help me. I hope everyone who is worried about their family finds the strength to cope. Lord knows, when you think you've got it bad, you are always shown someone has it worse than you.

Arrivaderci

My penchant for tinkering failed me this time. Buddhatron V2.0 won't be up until next week. It was fantastic while it was working, though!

Yes, it is time to upgrade, although I think spending lots of money on computer parts is going to become decreasingly feasible, especially if one day I have a family and whatnot. Anyhow, UPS should have everything to my door by tomorrow. Here's what I got (leaving out most of the detail):

nVidia GeForce 8800 GTS 320MB
500 GB SATA Hard Drive (For lots of HD media)
2 Gigs Corsair RAM
2.66Ghz Intel Core 2 Duo 6750

Hopefully, this will allow me to play HD media and the newest games for at least a few years, and will be upgradeable enough where I don't have to put out so much freaking money when I want new parts.

I can't believe that DT actually went through with it and posted the pics. How shocking. To me, the fact that she's a mother isn't exactly irrelevant, but it isn't the first thing that comes to mind as a reason to not do something like that.

It brings me back to a place I was in 2002, shortly after I learned I was being betrayed and lied to over and over again. It was right after the breakup. Living through my worst nightmare, not sleeping, not eating, not caring. We had made some, ahem, content, and the thought came to me to send a copy to the school she worked at, to ruin her reputation for good. Yes, what a way to get revenge. What a way to make her regret what she did.

It certainly would have done those things, but it also would have resulted in many other negative consequences. I would have ended up being a huge dickhead, embarrassed myself, alienated a lot of my friends, and possibly opened myself up to legal action.

Eventually it came to me, the anger, desperation and searing pain I felt subsided enough for me to see how wrong it was to do something like that to someone, regardless of the shit sandwich I was eating. None of it was really going to make me feel better about what happened or help the situation. No, doing something like that means moving in the wrong direction. That's when I just deleted the damn content, and I am extremely grateful for that bit of insight.

And...eventually it was revealed to me that she ended up really, really regretting what she had done anyway. Eventually she woke up too. I didn't need to do anything to make her feel like crap.

Guys, listen to me here, it is just a fact of life that when it comes to women you are going to just have to learn how to eat a shit sandwich and smile. If you go through life without having been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, you either have never dated or you have been extraordinarily lucky. It is what it is, and the scars are just the price of perhaps finding someone you can be with someday.

(Cue Kenny Rogers)

ON TO OTHER THINGS:

I ordered parts for a new PC. Finally, other than the $300 for my monitor, I've spent something on myself that has nothing to do with paying off debt or paying for my car to be fixed. I'm really excited about it. There goes my weekend!

After reading (e:James)' latest offering the wheels started turning. I don't 100% know the state of Buffalo schools, maybe he can elaborate on it a little, but from what I understand, our kids still do not all have updated books and access to technology. This to me is more important than teacher raises, although I do sympathize. They have what I feel is a very, very tough job, and they deserve all the credit in the world, and hopefully sometime down the road, the monetary compensation for it.

I agree that we don't want to take away from a school like OP to give to the poor kids in Buffalo (although I can't understand why they need a TV station). The only way that happens is for layers of government to be shed, for us to regionalize, and the suburbs have already categorically rejected that idea. It's a non-starter.

We also cannot continue to go through the cycle of depending on bloated home re-appraisals, and increasing taxes on a population that is poor and shrinking. Even though this is all true, if we wanted the government to allocate more of the pie to education, we would have to make tough choices, probably making a target of culture, arts and recreation, something we all find intolerable.

So what do you do? I think the answer is to make it really attractive for the suburbanites to come to the city and spend lots of money. Of course, this means I have to compromise a little on my gripe concerning the yuppie-ization of Elmwood, to some small extent, but if you guys will indulge me I will explain.

The best opportunity we have is for the players involved to stop bullshitting and get on with coming up with a really great idea for our waterfront. If done the right way, it could serve as a great way to generate tax revenues through creating more economic activity downtown.

I think it should be a multi-use area that people can go to every night of the week for most of the year. I want to see a lighted boardwalk and bike path, lined by different shops, outdoor wear, things like that, and food places (hot dog, pizza, ice cream, sub shop). Maybe a cool arcade, with skee ball and different other types of games and video games - an alternative to Dave and Buster's, but not quite that big.

How about a different area, a square park area, lots of green space, surrounded by different kinds of things, movie theater, book store/apple store, record store, upscale bar or two, patio restaurant or two, panini shop. Stuff like that. A boutique hotel maybe would also be an attractive thing. I have no idea what kind of space we would be working with, but I think you understand. We want to create a different area with a different atmosphere.

If you really want to be crazy, dedicate a part of it to create an Amphitheater. You could have plenty of great outdoor lectures, plays, pops concerts, and other musical acts staged downtown at a really great venue. We could move the Marina concert series down there. Why not? I bet people would love it.

Of course, I have to get back on track and get to the point. Something like this would be good for everyone. This is one way to get our hands on suburbanite dollars. It could be an uncovered treasure in WNY, and could allow us to generate some jobs and dollars to help our local government get out of the shit, although we still have serious corruption and patronage issues to deal with. We would have more money available for things like teacher raises and books, technology rooms, we can give kids many of the same tools the suburbanites have if we demand it is a priority.

I have other ideas, things that I can't even begin to get into now. Maybe later, but the bottom line is that we have to be proactive, and do something positive to solve this problem.

It is becoming more and more fashionable these days to come up with variations of The Onion/Colbert on Web Sites. I came across this little gem today, and I really have to share.

I give you, The People's Cube:

You can even have The People's Economist, Paul Krugman, answer your questions about the evils of capitalism and the benefits of collective ownership:

"Everybody Loves Ahmedinejad" Rally & Fun Activities:

Also notice on the right, under News We Don't Have Time To Write About - funny funny funny. "Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: 'We will bury you!'"

My turn. *wide grin, not wide stance*



Doesn't this bear a suspicious resemblance to:



I would like to think that it is actually based on the American flag, instead of the China flag, but we all know that the Libs hate American flags that are fireproof.

Hahaha. Oh, man. Seriously though, did the same company work on the Libs' logo that worked on the RNC logo? Even with my meager Photoshop skills I'm sure I could come up with better material.

Democrats Propose Cig Tax Hike To Fund Child Health Care:

From FNC, via the Associated Press:

It's obvious whoever wrote this for the AP takes a very cynical view of things, and brings up a good point about who exactly is getting taxed. That is something, as a smoker myself, I hadn't immediately thought of, but it is a very good reason to oppose this method of funding health care.

Let's think about the goals of the tax:

1) Balloon SCHIP by $35B.
2) Discourage people from smoking.

What happens if LESS people smoke, under this plan? The politicians say outright that is one outcome they would like to see, but it would also result in less money to be available for SCHIP. Now what would happen if every smoker in the USA quit tomorrow? That $35B that the government so desperately needs "for the children" will disintegrate. Do the politicians expect us to believe that costs are going to go down, or that children will cease to need health care? Why are we imposing taxes on people who can least afford to pay them?

I would think the more likely scenario is for the government to continue increasing these taxes to compensate for lost "customers", and continue to take the attitude that someone else is going to have to make the very difficult choices.

It is sickening that our government needs smokers for revenue, just like the tobacco companies. They depend on the addictive nature of the product to support themselves. They issue double speak. They are snakes.

What's really happening here is that the politicians are preying on a group of politically unpopular people, instead of doing a politically unpopular thing (raising everyone's taxes), and introducing these Mickey Mouse proposals because few of them are willing to risk standing up and saying "Yes, we should fund kid's health care better, we are going to do the right thing here, and all of us have to pay for it."

It's just shocking, but maybe I can feel better about myself because my shameful, disgusting habit is going to result in some kid being able to get their shots and medicines. If I decide to quit, am I an uncompassionate fuck?

Chances are, for better or for worse, you deserve it. I love writing about people, and about my experiences, and I err on the side of kindness most of the time anyway. There's nothing to be gained by picking on easy prey. What can I say, I'm just that nice of a guy.

There are also people who matter, and there are people who, along with their opinions, don't matter. Generally both groups of people know who they are, or at least they should know who they are. Then again, some folks just aren't all that clever.

I tried being nice, I tried being a rotten bastard, and the results were the same, so at some point I pretty much had to stop giving a shit. So I don't. I freely admit my shortcomings, and unlike most I have no delusions of perfection.

I've made my regrettable decisions, starting nearly a year ago, and they're in the past. I don't understand why it can't stay there, unless something I've done is so awful that it affects someone long-term, in which case I am not terribly difficult to get a hold of.

---

The pithy version? What's done is done, and what's in the past is in the past, and I am perfectly okay with it. I'm not mad, upset, sick, or anything else, but at this moment I'm a little (or a lot) weirded out.