Chances are, for better or for worse, you deserve it. I love writing about people, and about my experiences, and I err on the side of kindness most of the time anyway. There's nothing to be gained by picking on easy prey. What can I say, I'm just that nice of a guy.

There are also people who matter, and there are people who, along with their opinions, don't matter. Generally both groups of people know who they are, or at least they should know who they are. Then again, some folks just aren't all that clever.

I tried being nice, I tried being a rotten bastard, and the results were the same, so at some point I pretty much had to stop giving a shit. So I don't. I freely admit my shortcomings, and unlike most I have no delusions of perfection.

I've made my regrettable decisions, starting nearly a year ago, and they're in the past. I don't understand why it can't stay there, unless something I've done is so awful that it affects someone long-term, in which case I am not terribly difficult to get a hold of.

---

The pithy version? What's done is done, and what's in the past is in the past, and I am perfectly okay with it. I'm not mad, upset, sick, or anything else, but at this moment I'm a little (or a lot) weirded out.

When you find yourself in a minor freak out:

1) Take a step back from the situation.

2) Clear your head of all the clutter. Most of it is irrational junk.

3) Don't meander into the trap of self doubt.

4) Remember nothing is permanent.

5) Remember most problems have a solution.

6) Remember, unless you're six feet under or starving you're ok.

7) Someone somewhere gives a damn. You're not alone.

8) Like on a tread climber, going uphill means more work.

9) Think of the big picture. Things really aren't that bad.

10) Find your resolve, find your bollocks, and move on with it.

I have revisited this album recently, and I like it much more today than when I first procured it. I don't know why, but when I first heard it I was really underwhelmed.

Anyhow, I don't know whether I was mistaken the first time, or am just now experiencing a weakening resolve, a la the chick at the bar pounding shots some douche bought her. But I digress....

This is sort of a pattern for me, especially with the Radiohead albums post-OK Computer. I give it a listen, pick it apart from various angles, and decide it's not quite up to my insane expectations.

Maybe it is simply a matter of, when I am on the fence, being realistic and learning to appreciate something for what it is, instead of what I want it to be. Maybe it's a metaphor for how you feel about your job, your present situation, your family, or your girlfriend.

Maybe my mind is wandering. They're a very clever band. Not all Wuss-Rock is this tolerable. Fucking emo, it is making me want to start confiscating iPods.

But I'm not. Spitzer is making an ass out of the people (including me) who voted for him.

Peeps -

If you are thinking of going to the Square tonight, you definitely want to check out Charlie Hunter. He is just a fantastic musician, and you will not be disappointed. He is a favorite of Larsons of all ages, and we know our music.

It's beautiful out. Let's enjoy it before we descend into grayness.

Jason

A more tongue in cheek offering from me today.

What is the key to falling in love? What are we looking for? Well, it appears we've known the answers for thousands of years already.



At this stage, on 9/4/2007 I could probably command a good 1-2 out of 10. Ouch! At least the hand doesn't say no. That would be the ultimate rejection.

Jason

I'm sure most of you are hung over. I know I am. Two bottles of wine down, with Josh's help of course. I'm a lightweight anymore, what a shame. I would really like some cafe right now.

Saturday was okay. We were in Jamestown visiting Gramma who just got out of the hospital. She's fine, she's fine, but it does remind one that nothing is permanent.

It looked like the party was a lot of fun. Terry, Mike, you are good guys and I hope you two had a blast. Mike looked absolutely steamed, per usual, that guy is a one-man party.

Well, I picked up the Artvoice, and wouldn't you know it, Michael Moore is going to be a part of the Distinguished Speaker Series! Then again, UB *did* have Ann Coulter there to "debate" Janet Reno. There seems to always be at least one unhinged loon on the menu per year. I wouldn't even think of spending a dime on any of his products anymore, let alone to hear him "lecture" but I know there may be some interested parties here, so I thought I would pass the information along. It is on September 29th.

I'm so happy to have the day off of work today. I haven't had any vacation time available to me yet. My job requires that I work for a year before I "earn" the right to vacation time. What a fucking crock. I'm no commie burn-out, okay, but that is so damn unethical. Study after study, paper after paper, that tout the benefit, nay the necessity, of having time off to recharge, and the result is always a happier and more productive employee, and still some employers don't fucking get it. They don't! They're living in the stone age! What do you want me to tell you? Work for the government, they give good benefits and they are the largest employer in the area.

I hope you peeps enjoy the hell out of your Labor Day. I want that coffee. This hangover is killin me.

Jason

(e:Anne) has observed our reactions to relationships. I would advise you not to necessarily take everything we say to heart, because almost all of the time we are just stroking our own egos. Personally, I like to vent, I sometime slip into drama queen mode, and my sense of humor is such that on occasion I make my point in the most cynical, shocking fashion possible.

Nobody here is an expert in relationships. Almost all of us to a person are utter failures at this. Nobody here is going to be mistaken for some enlightened soul either, and knowing that it is easier to just take everything with a boulder of salt, and learn what you can from their experiences. From me hopefully you can learn to not let one crisis ruin a few years of your life.

As far as the feeling of being in a great relationship is concerned: I have only felt this one time, out of many girlfriends, and my experience was that it was a lot better than any drug I have ever tried (which, I guess is only 2, not including the booze, but you get the point). It was euphoric, and seeing as I am biologically wired to have a difficult time feeling euphoric, the days when I was happy with her were honestly the happiest days of my life. I couldn't wait to see her, I couldn't wait to spend time with her. I cared about her at least as much as I cared about myself, and when you get to the point where your ego is muffled, you know that you really love them.

Some people go through life never having that experience, so even though it ended in tragic failure, I feel really lucky to have at least felt that once in my lifetime. My main problem now is my long list of negatives, and the fear of what would happen if some of them were exposed. Right or wrong, we are expected to be flawless, and that doesn't just stick for guys either. I think I can be the best boyfriend in the world but just not yet, and until someone either says, hey Jason, it's okay, I accept you anyway, or until I have had enough time to be alright with the rejection, I am probably going to remain single.

The thing about the dating game is that it can be so incredibly shallow and dehumanizing. You can read all about it on e-strip, with people on both the giving and receiving end on occasion. (e:Anne), there is plenty you would be happy to be missing out on. I hope if you can take anything from us, it is to have enough self respect and are objective enough to know what a good and a bad situation is, and act appropriately. You can avoid a lot of messes, and avoid unnecessary suffering that way.

I'm filibustering again.

Everyone by now who isn't hiding in a cave should know of the sub prime lending crisis, and the infusion of cash to keep the banks afloat. A credit crunch is brewing, and it affects all of us.

I saw this link on Drudge this morning. The article speculates that this credit crisis is spreading to the credit cards. Check it out:



I know that last year, when I pretty much was in veg mode, I screwed up big time in this regard, and I am taking my medicine. Because so many people are losing their mortgages, etc, and defaulting on cards, now I wonder if it will be more difficult to fix the situation if banks are making their requirements more strict, and lending less money to people overall. Oh yeah, this could just be a rumor, but I read a link yesterday that said Housing prices are going to fall for the first time ever. This is not good.

I suppose it is time to just accept that America in general lives beyond its means, and we are given every encouragement to live this way, starting from Day 1 of college. Got to have that new car, that 50 inch plasma, those expensive hobbies. Anyone ever notice when a store opens anymore it is almost invariably upscale? What about new housing downtown? All upscale. Does anyone save money anymore? Does anyone realize the SS bubble is going to pop in our lifetime? Everyone wants to live a champagne lifestyle on a faygo budget. Not good. As a result we are getting nickle and dimed to death, and neglecting our future.

Nowadays I live pretty much a meager existence. I'm pretty low maintenance. Old car, clothes from a few seasons ago, haven't traveled in a while, rarely if ever dine out. My entertainment needs (got to have good cable and internet) and my rent (Yeah, I live on the strip) are the most expensive parts of my lifestyle. I don't need the newest clothes or the hottest sunglasses or the VW Jetta. I grew up blue collar, okay, and so I would straight up feel like a girl if I had those needs. Go ahead and read MSN style tips - they pretty much tell you to be a chick.

Sigh. I'm filibustering again.