After reading (e:Terry)'s post about the radioactive material, I believe I have an answer. A satisfactory answer, one that will make everyone feel happy and lovey and want to hug each other, probably not. Brace yourselves for the truth!

The U.S. military is working in conjunction with the aliens to develop an anti-gravity device. The motivation is to come up with a type of transportation system that doesn't require treads, wheels, or any other kind of ground-based technology. You see tanks and other vehicles can get stuck in awkward terrain (like sand!) and require large amounts of money and oill to move around. The military wants vehicles that can float slightly above the surface, rendering the type of surface irrelevant. Imagine 50 Abrams tank type things that simply float over water, over mountaintops and run over the sand at about 150 mph. You're fucked. I guarantee you'd poop your pants and drop your gun. For a while now the military has taken advantage of new technology to decrease the amount of manpower, and increase the effectiveness of their weapons. This is no different, but it will have other consequences besides those two things.

This will usher in a new era in the military. The Navy and the Air Force will eventually be joined together, creating a US "fleet" of air-based gunships and even larger battle cruisers. It will require a significant change in the military management structure, but it will go along perfectly with their strategy of joint warfare. It will make joint warfare that much simpler and more effective. I'm sure there could also be many more byproducts of the research, but primarily the objective is to make the military faster, scarier, and more deadly.

Jason

Over the years we have put up monuments glorifying the male form. This drives me crazy because in my view the female form is the most beautiful, breathtaking, awe inspiring thing in the universe. The softness of the features, the curves, the legs and ass, I can't help but be mesmerized every time I see a cute girl walking down the street. There isn't a single doubt in my mind that if I were female I would be a lesbian. Pussy power ain't no myth. Wars have been fought over it. It makes men do crazy things. It makes men sad and want to crawl into a hole for the rest of their life. Beware the pussy power!

Apologies to the gay dudes here but I just don't understand the appeal of sucking dick! At the same time I would never ever ever ever date a girl who didn't do that, and didn't do it often. I know guys who aren't down with it but going down on a woman is one of the most amazing experiences life has to offer. Having her smooth legs over your shoulders, pleasing her with your lips and tongue, exploring her body, seeing her nips harden and watching her facial expressions - knowing you can do that to someone is one of the best feelings I've ever had. Men are visual creatures and nothing flips my switch quite like that visual, except maybe when she is on top and my hands are all up on her ass.

Of course I've been denied that experience lately but depending on how much of a conniving, evil son of a bitch I want to be I think I can resume my vagitarian nature soon. Here's to all of the male and female vagitarians!

Jason

I went to an excellent Cuban themed party at the home of my brother's boss on Saturday. They had a pig roast (interesting to see a pig split from the neck to its ass) and lots of Mojitos. I met some French Canadians and some Mexicans. I also met a co-worker of my brother's who said she and her husband are leaving the US over American politics (my response is typically "fine, get the fuck out, i'll help you pack" but I had to be charming). Everyone was nice and I had a very good time. I also got to meet (e:Joshua)'s co-worker Julio who he has been globe-trotting with. They get along beautifully.

When I got home my neighbor Vinay guilted me into going with him and one of his friends to Left Bank to get a couple of sodas. I admit to having judged Left Bank based on the girls I know who go there - I thought it would be jam packed full of gold diggers and other parasites - I thought it would be a miserable experience but I was totally wrong. The bar is really nice, I wish they didn't have that house/trance music assaulting my senses so loudly, but they have lots of good stuff on tap and also Johnny Walker Blue so those who think they are classy and can tell the difference between it and dog piss can get drunk as well. They have a nice outdoor patio area - someday if I ever have a girlfriend again I'd like to take her there. I saw some Kuni's waitresses there - I wonder why the asian one always has a perma-scowl on her face? It wasn't at all a diverse crowd but at least you don't have to get dressed to the nines to go there! They also put out some free food - it was some kind of bbq beef and rice mixture. I didn't care what it was, because it tasted great. There were plenty of beautiful girls there too, but everyone there is basically with a group of people and they aren't trying to socialize with anyone else. It was a far more acceptable mix of surburbanite and city folk than Cozumel. All this being said I had a great time there, and I will definitely stop there on another Saturday night.

Dad came up yesterday with some friends and took me to the Artvoice Street Festival to see some live music. Now everyone here knows that I think Artvoice is more or less bird cage worthy, but they put on one hell of a show for us downtown. I hope everyone got a chance to check it out. Benevento Russo Duo was new to me, but I absolutely LOVED their music. My head was definitely boppin. MMW was of course amazing and wonderful - it was Dad's first MMW experience and he thought it was outstanding. I hadn't heard too much Gov't Mule but I have to say without a doubt it was the best live music experience I've had at the square so far. I wasn't sure if I really liked the music or not but as the show went on I grew to enjoy what they were doing. Everyone was into it, and the band went way out of their way to show appreciation for the fans. By the end of it all I wanted to hear more and more from them. Now I see why so many people love them. I also saw my friends from Lazlo Hollyfeld - my buddy Chris is in a new reggae band! There isn't much reggae in Buffalo and I love it as much as any style of music. Chris said that their lead singer is cute and I should come down to McGarret's to see them on Thursday night. All in all it was a fantastic day and a very fun weekend. I really needed it!

Jason

I was really glad to meet all of you e-strippers who came to the Pink. I hope we can have another get together someday soon. The rest of you are CHICKENSHITS and had better come to the next drink-up. I had a good time last night, although I am sad to hear that (e:Ajay) will be heading to the liberal Mecca to resume his life. I wish we could have met and hung out earlier. Best of luck to you, sir!

Unfortunately not a lot of the (e:peepettes) showed up. After a while I realized they are just intimidated by conservative scandinavian guys! Yes, of course that's the answer! Don't worry, (e:Jason) is personable and pleasant, not to mention easy on the eyes. At least I didn't have to buy any shots!

(e:Joshua) makes his return to the B-Low tonight, which should be fun because I haven't seen him in a while. Maybe a BBQ is in order for this weekend.

Jason

Here's an Ann Coulter article, enjoy!

WHAT LEFT-WING P.B.S. BIAS? by Ann Coulter

Bill Moyers, the lamented, demented former host of the PBS program "Now With Bill Moyers," referred to the American-led war in Iraq as doing "to the people of Baghdad what bin Laden did to us."

He called American flag pins "a little metallic icon of patriotism" comparable to Mao's Little Red Book being displayed on every Communist Party official's desk in China. This is silly. The metallic icons of patriotism that Mao used to keep the masses in line were considerably longer and sharper, and were usually applied to the back by a fellow "comrade."

Moyers denounced Condoleezza Rice for her ineptness in not preventing the 9/11 attack, despite a clearly worded memo stating: "Bin Laden determined to attack the United States." In other breaking news: Waitress in L.A. Determined to Become Actress. As Condi said, "I don't think you, frankly, had to have that report to know that bin Laden would like to attack the United States."

In his lengthy diatribe against Rice, Moyers said she had cried wolf, intentionally misleading "America and the world about the case for invading Iraq." Apparently Rice had said Iraq was "a part of the war on terror" on the grounds that Saddam was: (1) supporting terrorists, (2) a weapons of mass destruction threat and (3) "a tremendous barrier to change in the Middle East."

But as regular viewers of PBS know, in fact, we invaded Iraq for oil.

Yes, precisely. That's why U.S. forces seized Iraq's oil fields right after Baghdad fell, confiscated their vast oil reserves, and now we can buy all the gasoline we want here at home for just pennies a gallon any time we want. Sorry, we what? Folks, my switchboard is completely lit up and this isn't even a radio show.

Moyers responded to the 2002 midterm elections in which Republicans bucked history by gaining seats in both the House and the Senate by warning Americans of the coming Rapture: "(I)f you like God in government, get ready for the Rapture." As Moyers described the horror that was to come: "That agenda includes the power of the state to force pregnant women to surrender control over their own lives."

I'm pretty sure even the harshest anti-abortion laws would only prevent a woman from killing her baby, not send her to a slave labor camp. But with his broadcast career crashing down around him, Moyers took a brave stand against the internment of pregnant women.

Moyers also said the agenda of the coming theocracy "includes using the taxing power to transfer wealth from working people to the rich." (And we'd appreciate it if you poor people would fold the bills a little more neatly before mailing them in next time.)

As the extra little cherry on top, all Moyers' nut conspiracy theories were being broadcast on PBS, subsidized by the U.S. taxpayer. Not only that, but Moyers takes a cut of every video of his show sold, and he has family members on the payroll. Let's see now: a corrupt, partisan demagogue and his family caught feeding at the taxpayers' trough. Let's just hope he never took a free golfing trip to Scotland!

When Ken Tomlinson, chair of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, suggested that PBS was maybe a smidgen left of center, Moyers began his lengthy public nervous breakdown. Already well-known as an insufferable jerk, it turns out Moyers is also a crazy megalomaniac, too.

In a recent speech to the the National Conference on Media Reform -- a conference dedicated to increasing liberal representation in the media from 94.6 percent to 99.8 percent -- Moyers responded to his critics by reading from his fan mail, reading favorable news articles about himself, and comparing himself to Jesus Christ or, as he put it, "one of our boys." If it were possible that he actually believed in God, PBS would be doing a special report on Moyers after a remark like that.

He said his critics were "obsessed with control, using the government to threaten and intimidate" -- almost as control-obsessed as 45 senators trying to tell 55 senators which judicial nominees are acceptable. The threat is: Provide balanced programming or stop expecting subsidies from the U.S. taxpayer.

Moyers also noted that his critics were the ones behind the bin Laden-like attack on Iraq in order "to make sure Ahmed Chalabi winds up controlling Iraq's oil." (And that's why gasoline is so cheap!) Yep, it's all right there on the Project for a New American Century's agenda: (1) invade Iraq, (2) somehow get Bill Moyers' PBS show canceled, (3) invade Syria, (4) invade Iran ...

Moyers has clearly reached the next-to-last stage of the megalomaniac's life cycle: the persecution complex. We'll know Moyers has reached end-stage megalomania when he begins to exhibit an inordinate fear of germs.

According to Moyers, the reason these right-wing radicals focused on him despite the fan mail he gets -- to say nothing of favorable write-ups in the mainstream media -- is that he "didn't play by the conventional rules of Beltway journalism." (That and the giant piece of tinfoil on his head.)

These contemptible "rules of Beltway journalism" apparently consist of reporters completely ignoring important conspiracy theories regularly featured on Moyers' program and instead functioning as "government stenographers" -- as Moyers called one reporter for The New York Times, no less.

Moyers did live by one rule of old-media journalism: He believed he should not need viewers to have a TV show. During fund-raising drives, scores of local PBS affiliates would drop Moyers' program for fear of driving away donors. Let me say that I personally believe this was a mistake. Moyers' show was the one PBS program that made the pledge drives seem interesting.

But the absence of an audience is no concern for liberals. After all, Air America is still on air. How about making George Soros pay Moyers' salary? Then at least he'd have a little less money to spend on wrecking the country. Hey -- maybe that's what Moyers meant about the Republican government transferring money from working people to the rich.

...and a little depressed, and a little hopeless. Why is it that a boss feels like it is well within his rights to belittle you and your efforts? He doesn't know your job or how to do it, yet he feels entitled to judge! Just once I would like to hear, "Hey Jay, this is really neat, nice job", but no, instead you hear about the 2 things that aren't quite right yet and they are made out to be disasters of biblical proportions, and you never hear one single word of encouragement. How nice.

Jason

Bullshit outside of work, bullshit at work. I'm knee deep in bullshit. Everything I do is wrong, I can do no right. I'm beginning to wonder if they are right about me.

Jason

Today I tried my damnedest to open up my medicine bottle but I couldn't. It hurt so bad to wrap my hands around the bottle and try to twist off the top. Eventually I had to just bear the pain and twist until the freakin thing opened. I'm gonna call Gramma today and tell her I understand her life a little better now.

Jason

T.I. - ASAP
Paul Wall - Sittin Sideways
T.I. - Motivation
The Neptunes/Snoop Dogg - It Blows My Mind
Jay-Z - Where I'm From
Trillville - Some Cut
Lil Jon and Lil Scrappy - What You Gon Do
Lil Boosie & Webbie - Give Me That
Tupac - Hail Mary
Jay-Z - In My Lifetime (Remix)
Mike Jones - Back Then

Let's see how the hood reacts!!!!!

Jason

I am totally non-functional right now. I've been sleeping all day. I called my only connect to see if I could pick up and as usual he didn't answer, and most likely as usual he won't even bother to acknowledge my phone call by hitting me back. God I hate that. Oh well, one less person in my phone book.

I'm really hungry too. Maybe I'll go get some BK.

Jason