🏷️ eating in

If you answered popcorn (or nothing), you would be wrong. Utterly, absolutely, WRONG.

It's Kale Chips! The recipe is so ridiculously simple that even I could have made it 4 years back, but didn't.



To make up for that lamentable lapse, I just made and devoured a kilo of kale chips in addition to the kale salad I had earlier. If you see a greenish looking person scuttling about tomorrow, its probably a safe bet to assume that they are not from Ireland.

If you don't put on your coats and boots, rush to the nearest kale selling-store (or your fridge, if you are already a kale-eating monster), make these chips RIGHT NOW, you will have a sad potato-chip-filled or popcorn-filled Friday evening, suckers.

Assuming you now have that kale in hand, wash it, strip the leaves from the stalks, tear the leaves into BIG chip sized pieces, dry it, spin it down, toss in some olive oil, juice from a quarter lemon and a liberal sprinkle of salt. Dry the leaves at around 90 Degree C (yeah, yeah, F it -> ) for 20 minutes or till the leaves are a dessicated dark earthy green.

DO NOT burn them. Do not raise the temperature. The idea is to dry them, not roast them. They taste THAT much better when dried (than roasted). Watch carefully around the 20-30 minute mark. Just drag a chair in front of your oven door and keep staring at the kale. They will transform into junk food craving gold.

I can't quite explain how they taste, they are bizarrely awesome and extremely addictive. If I keep going at this rate, I might just beat out Pizza Hut in Kale consumption.

Well, what do you think? I am slowly getting through everything on my grocery shelves. The idea is to completely finish all stored grains, grain products, lentils, beans, rice and other non-perishables in the next 6 months. I am on a clean-up-the-whole-kitchen-and-start-completely-afresh drive.

I have some pasta but I am not very keen on making it because I tend to cut down on my vegetable portions if I eat too much pasta with regular meals. I do want to try my hand at some bread again - so if I take the pasta (white, acini de pepe) and grind it to a coarse powder will that make a good bread flour along with ground bulghur? I am thinking of making some kind of fruit/banana/apple based bread.

Does this sound insane? Well... it does sound a bit weird but still, do you think it might just possibly work? Thoughts?

My first winter share through the Community Supported Agriculture plan from Thorpe Farms was waiting for me today morning under my office desk - thanks to my wonderful officemates. :) It was quite a surprise. Given that four of us are splitting the share, I wasn't expecting much but I received:

Grapefruit


Florida Oranges


Tangelos


Carrots


Turnips


Beets


Radishes


Garlic


Onions


Parsnips


Brussel Sprouts - on a stalk!


Swiss Chard



Potatoes



I gave away the potatoes because they are banned from my kitchen. I also gave away the garlic for no particular reason.

PS: Just roasted some of these root veggies and they are incredibly tasty! They beat regular grocery veggies by oodles and oodles of awesomeness!

some people declared they could eat it at various intervals ranging from every second (of their lives? in hell? who knows?!) to every other day (in jail? on mars? in a geriatric ward?), and yet some others admitted to tossing 2/3rd of whatever they took discreetly into trash, and the rest were poisoned.

The point is, this recipe is not without its risks. With such variation in human reaction (and there were quite a variety of us at the potluck - from 7-ft palm trees to politically incorrect short pygmies to a graduate horticultural-establishment-management student from Cornell [who knew?!] - and of course the one normal person who threw 2/3rd in the trash, btw), there is a slim chance that you may meet some grotesque fate if you tried it.

Ah, disclaimer out of the way, time for the recipe. Really its just 5 steps.

1. Chop vegetables (Just pick something from across the colour spectrum and you will have a good mix. If you don't have a good knife, the acorn squash can turn into a hand-stuck-in-snowblower-like disaster.)



2. Toss in peanut oil, coarse ground cumin, salt and coconut shreds. Put into oven at around 150 - 175 degrees C (For you non-metric weirdos : - ) Wait for the onions to turn very very slightly caramelized at the tips. Don't let the veggies burn - keep a watch. Roast the garlic cloves whole. (What? You couldn't spot garlic in that picture? Look again!)

3. Chop a bunch of fresh coriander (Sorry, @paul!), smash the roasted garlic into it. Mix in garam masala (Dry-roasted and ground: 5 (coriander seeds): 2 (black peppercorns): 2 (cumin): 2-3 cloves: Dried red chillies to taste: 2 (unroasted cardamom): 1 (dried mango powder/amchur) Mix in chopped green onions, and cooked garbanzo beans (Canned garbanzo is just gooey - you need to go the dried-beans-soak-6hrs-and-cook way. I heard that some canned garbanzo packs come with an additional risk of botulin sometimes - so its up to you).

4. Mix it all in with the roasted vegetables and give it another go in the oven - same temperature, till onions are a bit more caramelized, maybe 10-15 more minutes (Or you could skip the roasting-again bit, because its really murdering the veggies a bit more at this point).


5. Sprinkle with a mixture of toasted nuts (peanuts and cashewnuts) and crispy potato shreds with red chillie powder and salt). Serve.

666. Step back and watch the ill-effects on your unsuspecting victims.

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PS: Heh, yes, the garlic cloves were not really visible in that picture. I figured you deserved at least a nice headache for reading the recipe, especially considering the wealth of emotions the people at the party ended up with. You are welcome.

PPS: No, I am SO not sorry.

Went shopping with a friend recently (you know who you are and I know you are reading, heheh) and somehow this ended up in both of our groceries...



All I can say is. OH. MY. This thing is DELICIOUS! Gulped it down in two days flat. Needless to say, I won't be buying it any more because if I did I won't fit through my flat door in approximately a week or maybe less, who knows...

This is probably the fastest easiest recipe I have ever made and it was right there on top in terms of how mouth-wateringly tasty it was!

Total cooking time is around 6-7 minutes.


1. Heat some peanut oil in a pan. Meanwhile wash and chop a good amount of garlic into fine pieces.
2. Saute chopped garlic till it is light brown. Meanwhile wash and chop Brussel Sprouts into lengthwise quarters.
3. Add chopped Brussel Sprouts, a dash of salt and pepper powder.
4. Saute on medium-high heat till Brussel Sprouts are lightly caramelized (~3 min).
5. Eat immediately and float away into gastronomical heaven!

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@imk2's mum hooked me on to the pear and butternut squash soup from the Wegmans recipe collection. I didn't have stock and I am not really okay with throwing away any vegetables after boiling them in water for making the stock - so I improvised on the recipe.

0. Chop. Chop. Set the rice cooker to cook some orange lentils.

Cumulative time to step 1: 4-5 minutes. (3-4 minutes if you are good at that game where you jab the knife between your fingers on the table really fast and try not to stab your hand. I figure if you are good at this, you will be good at chopping vegetables really really fast.)

1. Saute garlic, onions (preferably red), the hottest jalapenos you can find and ginger on low-medium heat in peanut/olive oil till the onions soften and become translucent. I guess you could caramelize the onions and increase their flavour but I don't have the patience to do this. The recipe is supposed to be ultra-quick and dirty.

Cumulative Time to step 2: 9 minutes

2. Add butternut squash or pumpkin or one of those typical fall squash vegetables, finely chopped celery - a whole bunch, carrots and tomatoes. Make sure you clean the celery well - no need for peeling. Add salt and a tablespoon of fresh or dried thyme. Fresh is better but dry works as well. Saute for a good 4-5 minutes - at the end of this step the squash should be almost tender but not quite.

Cumulative Time to step 3: 13-16 minutes

3. Take the cooked orange lentils out of the rice cooker and smash them. Add them to the mix. Add chopped pears and water to cover it all - bring to a rolling boil. Turn the heat up higher to make this step go faster.

Cumulative Time to step 4: 19 minutes

4. Pour everything into a blender and puree the hell out of it.

Cumulative Time to step 5: 24 minutes or forever (if your blender breaks down).

5. Pour into a bowl, dilute with water, add salt and pepper (rewarm if necessary), finely chop cilantro leaves/stems/roots and and mix it in. Mix in chopped red onions and chopped jalapenos if you want an extra kick.

Cumulative Time to step 6: 27 minutes or never (if you are just reading this. GET CHOPPING!)



6. Enjoy! Reach for seconds... :)


PS: This soup freezes really well. I portioned it out in those smaller hummus boxes so that I could just pop the contents of one box into a bowl, add water, microwave it for a couple minutes on high and vary the extra seasoning and garnish. They also make fabulous lunches - because (depending on your portion size) they contain at least 2 servings of vegetables, 1 serving of fruit, plenty of fibre, complex carbohydrates from the squashes, proteins from the lentils and are very balanced.

Admit it! First you were afraid, nay, you were petrified whether you would survive the flu if it hit you point blank, correct? Well, your can lay those fears to rest. You will survive with the help of food and tea. Cue the music, because I present:



To recuperate from the obnoxious flu I had over the past week, I cooked like a maniac (and ate with a matching attitude) to beat the sickly virus.


Globe Grapes in a cloud of vanilla yogurt blended with frozen blueberries. That was really the last of my frozen blueberry stash. I am kind of sad that I ate them like the greedy grasshopper and now there are no blueberry-hoarding ants I can steal frozen blueberries from.



Pongal with light cauliflower saute and tomato-pepper rasam. Every time I make this, I invariably tweak something and the taste of the rasam flows down uncharted and sometimes blah territories. Being sick has its advantages because I was too clouded to think of new tweaks so I stuck with the traditional recipe and this came out perfect. But oh my, the rasam was so hot, I think it burned all the weenies out of my lungs and maybe some of my normal cells. But it was so worth the collateral damage.



Imitation Chinese soup with cauliflower, carrots, bell peppers, zucchini, bok choy, tomatoes and whatever else was in the fridge. The chopsticks are a sham because I don't really know how to eat with them. I tried, but it made my flu-tinged annoyance worse and I ended up breaking them into two in miscalculated blind rage.



I was interested in trying veggies the @paul way. So these are just bell peppers, carrots and broccoli sauteed very lightly in olive oil with cumin and garlic topped with squeezed with fresh lime juice. It tasted awesome and the texture was crunchy and to-die-for, but I couldn't smell anything that day so I am withholding judgement on whether I really wanted to die for the texture or not.



I think this is my favourite combination for a pizza at home - Whole wheat pita bread topped with some strong wisconsin cheese, red onion slices, tomatoes-on-the-vine, bell peppers, red chilli powder and salt and baked till the pita is crisp like a biscuit, in the oven. I went overboard trying to get a crisp crust so I burned a wee bit of the toppings. My snot-ridden brain thankfully gave me a timely warning and I took it out before it could smoulder into a total charcoal-y disaster.



Oh, and this last one is my formerly-yucky-but-now-fantastic keyboard getting a thorough detergent scrub and disinfection. I threw away the useless insert key when I put it all back together.


If I added up all the minutes I have wasted because of that stupid key, who knows, I might get a day of my life back. No more "insert" anarchy!


Happy week ahead, y'all. Keep away from people who are sneezing and sniffling, because if you do, you may need to spend the week in a snot-cloud, coughing and sick. On the upside, if you do get the flu, you can always look at this journal and do some inspired cooking. I also drank nearly 3 litres of assorted tea every day. Maybe I should have stuck a picture of a cuppa there. Since I didn't, just remember this. Tea is your friend in the time of cholera flu.

Okay, the thing is (as usual), I didn't agree with that recipe and this is my own. Take it or leave it. That blogger has it wrong. And if you substitute ANYthing here, may the kitchen god make you itch till you realize there is no substituting allowed.

The "Podi" (Or The Powder)
You need:
- Coriander Seeds (Cilantro Seeds) - 5 tablespoons
- Chane ki Dal (Bengal Gram) - 4 tablespoons

- Dried Red Chillies (Indian NOT Mexican) 4-5 Full Size
- Karuveppelai ("Curry" leaves) 1-2 sprigs

- Asafoetida powder - A light sprinkle

Prep:
1. Heat a flat-bottomed stainless steel pan at LOW heat.
2. Add Bengal gram and dry roast for a minute
3. Add Coriander seeds and continue roasting till its reddish brown

Some precautions:
DO NOT TURN HEAT UP - even if someone threatens you at knifepoint. DO NOT stop stirring. No, you cannot go away till it roasts to that perfect colour. You need to be there and keep a watchful eye out or they will burn.

4. When the coriander seeds are almost done, add the dried red chillies and keep stirring. Turn off the burner.
5. Add Asafoetida powder - a pinch/sprinkle or less. Stir well with the rest.
6. Add a generous number of Karuveppelai. Mix.
7. Wait till it somewhat cools down.
8. Grind to a rough powder in the blender.

The Rice
You need:
- Long grained preferably Basmati rice
- 1-2 tablespoon of sesame oil

Prep
1. Cook the rice in a rice-cooker (or however you cook it). The ratio of rice to water I use in my rice cooker is Rice:Water 1:1.25-1.5
2. Each grain of rice should be soft and cooked, yet separate and non-clumpy.
3. After the rice is cooked, mix in 1-2 tablespoon of sesame oil.


The Pulikaatchal (?? The tamarind Sauce? I am not sure this has an English equivalent. Calling it a sauce is laughable!)
You Need:
- Peanut oil - 2-3 Tablespoons
- Black Mustard Seeds - 1-1.5 Teaspoons
- Urad Dal - 1-1.5 Teaspoons

- Bengal Gram - 1-1.5 Teaspoons
- Peanuts - 3-4 Tablespoons
- Cashewnuts - 4-5 Tablespoons
- Karuveppelai ("Curry" leaves) 1-2 sprigs
- Turmeric Powder - a pinch
- Tamarind concentrate - 3 Tablespoons
- Salt

Prep:
1. Heat a pan on MEDIUM heat, add peanut oil.
2. Add Black Mustard Seeds (NO, YOU CANNOT use mustard as a substitute. NO means NO.)
3. Add Ural Dal
4. Add Bengal Gram
5. Stir it around for a while
6. Add Cashewnuts and Peanuts
7. Stir till some of the mustard seeds start to sputter
8. Turn off the burner.
9. Tear the Karuveppelai leaves into pieces and drop into the oil. Mix.
10. Add a pinch of turmeric powder and mix.
11. Now add 3 Tablespoons Tamarind concentrate + maybe a 4-5 tablespoons water to the above. Mix
12. Turn on the burner to LOW heat.
13. Keep Stirring with a lot of loving till the water evaporates and the oil comes out.
14. Add salt to taste
15. Add the Podi (rough ground powder) you made to this and keep stirring for a bit.
16. Turn off heat. Transfer it to some storage container - preferably not plastic. Glass would be better.


The Puliyodarai
17. In the same pan you made the Pulikaatchal, add the cooked rice, slowly mix with the pulikaatchal teaspoon by teaspoon - till you feel the flavour is just right. I prefer the rice intensely saturated with flavour till it completely takes over my senses, but some people I know prefer keeping the flavour delicate and light. Either way works.

Let me know if something is unclear. Oh, and did I tell you you cannot substitute with random things or delete things that are not convenient, the rice doesn't work any other way.

The Puliyodarai is a traditional "offering" to the million Gods and Goddesses of the southern part of the subcontinent specifically around the festive days. You have to understand just how angry this mob has the potential to get if you get it wrong. ;-)

It is an unforgiving recipe and a tough rice to get right on a fair day; substitutions/deletions might push it over the edge of being palatable and you might end up like that unfortunate bloke underfoot - at least in spirit.

I am determined to match all the glorious colours of the fall leaves in every dinner this month!


Vegetable Upma with Coconut-Coriander-Tamarind Chutney.


Here's to Fall!