No really, WTF??!



- Z

One of the local scooterists has a Stella GB150 with a license plate that says 'GOT MY'. I understand that custom motorcycle plates only have six letters, but, like, what does that even mean? So I asked her and she was all, I don't really know - it's kind of like fahrvergnugen. OK!

The point being that I just got my back from the shop, and I sort of dig where she's at. Life is more fun on two wheels.

EDITED TO ADD:
This link is for (e:dragonlady7) - it's the lightest trailer on the market, and it also happens to be one of the tallest.

- Z

_______________
Appendix for gearheads:
What happened was: the engine was idling really low, to the point where it would stall out at traffic lights. This was very bad. They told me to turn up the idle screw. So I did, except then it would idle very high before idling very low and stalling out. Then I stopped at a light, pulled in the clutch and eased off the accelerator. The bike stopped, but the engine ... kept going. This was when I freaked out. I held down the kill switch, and the engine ... kept going. This was when I freaked out harder. After several seconds, the engine did die, I pushed it into a school parking lot, hitched a ride home, and called the shop. So when I picked it up today, I said well, what was the problem? And the mechanic said well, it looks like your gasket was homemade out of cardboard and it eventually gave way.

...and he says: 'Make me one with everything.'

[badum-ching!]

So the vendor gives him the hot dog and he hands over a $20 bill. The vendor takes the money, and goes about his business. The Buddhist says, 'hey, what about my change?'

And the vendor goes: 'Change must come from within.'

[badum-dum-ching!]

We went to Old Man River for dinner, which got me thinking: every place you go, they make hot dogs different. Buffalo's got the 'Texas Hot,' which involves weird red shit if it's grilled or weird brown shit if it's griddled. Rochester's got the White Hot and the Garbage Plate. New Yorkers put sauerkraut and mushy degenerate onions on their all-beef dogs. Chicago hot dogs come from another planet entirely (WIKIPEDIA - Chicago-style hot dog).

Thus did I receive my Calling: I will quit my job, buy an RV, and tour America, sampling everyone's hot dogs along the way. I will write a book about hot dogs, with colorful photographs and unusual stories, and also there will be some recipes. I will become a veritable professor of hot dography. And then...

Well, by then I will probably be so sick of hot dogs that I will never eat another in my entire life.

- Z

It's Porn Saturday! This is up there for one of the most ridiculous spams I've ever received. Keep in mind that every single one of these ads is flashing and, in some cases, undulating:



This one's my favorite. Truth in advertising?



- Z


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Thing #1: The super-ghetto school-bus-conversion ice cream trucks seem to be improving, technologically. The one I saw yesterday on Delaware Ave had a drum track to its little tune, and a number of weird sound effects. It went: 'It's a small world after all [boioioing!] It's a small world after all [whizzz!]' all the way down the street. It sounded extra demented as it left and the doppler effect detuned it to a weird modal industrio-prog-rock thing.

Thing #2: One of my coworkers in the back office finally said 'enough of this shit, I can't work in this hot office,' and moved his computer up to the conference table. As he was working there this afternoon, suddenly a stream of water started pouring out of the ceiling and onto his head. Apparently, the central air conditioning unit that is supposed to cool the front office froze solid, shut off, and when the ice block it had created around itself started melting in the summer heat, it drained directly onto my coworker's chrome-dome.

Thing #3: We made our first formal announcement for our newest popularity contest this afternoon at about 12:30pm; just this afternoon we got two very good entries already. One of the entries was a decent but fairly average metal band; the other was a naked disco queer. There is no contest. If I could cancel the contest and declare a winner, it would totally be the naked disco queer, who says his shows are 'fabulous and horrible at the same time - like a trainwreck with box cars full of glitter.' He will be playing a show at a nudist beach in Florida in November. In his press photo, he is wearing nothing but a pair of tighty-whities and daring you to make fun of him so he can beat your ass. One of the sample songs he submitted is entitled 'Where in the Hell is North Tonawanda?' which, by the way, is my new journal music. This man is a rock star, in the purest sense of the word.

- Z

_______________
Kendall, 'Where In the Hell is North Tonawanda?' gather:0353400001154572215

No subject, no signature:

Where can I get Dr. Klein's Bagel Bars in Grand Rapids , MI ??

So I typed "Dr. Klein's Bagel Bars" into Google with unexpected results. So I typed "Bagels near Grand Rapids, MI" into Google Maps and replied:

Have you tried the Bagel Beanery out in Wyoming on Clyde Park Ave near the park?

- Z

_______________
New journal music: "Keep It Hot for Daddy" by Soul Position. gather:0266278001153925680

I finally got around to installing The Gimp on my new laptop. [I would have gone with Photoshop, but I haven't yet installed any pirated software on this computer, and I didn't want to start now.]

So now [is this too corny for (e:strip)?] I want to start a Photoshop [..., Gimp, MS Paint, ...] contest on the theme of this photo of (e:dragonlady7) 's dad:



The only rule is, keep it clean [consider it a test of your sense of humor]. Here's the first entry to get this train wreck a-rollin':



Winner gets ... beer?

- Z

Now we've got these weird fuckers popping out all over the place. [see previous post]



- Z

We used to have an air conditioner in the office, but it didn't work very well. This morning we replaced it with a convenient portal to the underworld.



Last night I made spaghetti with a very flavorful magic red pesto.

Ingredients:
1/4c extra-virgin olive oil
1/3c sun-dried tomatoes in oil [chopped?]
1c fresh basil
2+ cloves garlic
1/3c parmesan cheese
1lb thin spaghetti
Use your imagination.

Instructions:
Use your imagination on the olive oil. [Your imagination doesn't have to be very good if you have a lot of it.] Filter the olive oil into a food processor, along with the sun-dried tomatoes, basil, garlic, and parmesan. Process until finely chopped. Cook the spaghetti. Drain the noodles, saving 1/2c of the noodle water for the pesto [I'm not sure why it has to be noodle water, but that's what the recipe says]. Add the noodle water to the pesto, mix, and toss with the noodles.

- Z

'Buffalo's bloggers took a break Saturday from criticizing Joel Giambra, Wal-Mart and the Buffalo Sabres' proposed new logo to eat some barbecue and meet their cyber peers.'

'only about a dozen bloggers ... attended'

'Saturday's event is the fourth BloggerCon meeting for members of the area blogging community.'

'The social-networking aspect of blogging just comes with the territory," said Derek Punaro'

WTF?! WNY Media has a get-together once a year and, out of their less than 20 members, half show up. What's the deal, call a roast pig a 'conference,' and it'll make B1 in the local paper? We've done more get-togethers in the last four months than they've done in the last four years, usually on less than two days' notice, and there's usually at least a dozen people there each time. And furthermore, we have no offline picnics because when we unplug ... we're still online.

(e:strip) - The Jimmy Olsen of the Buffalo Blogging community.

Who's the new PR director? You need to send the News an angry letter to the editor. I have it on good authority that they'll print anything.

- Z