"Anti-gay GOP sex scandal blah blah blah" written by James on estrip.org

12/11/07 11:57 - 36ºF - ID#42472

Anti-gay GOP sex scandal blah blah blah

God!

I am so bored of these sex scandals. So a Washington state house rep. with a huge conservative, anti-gay record named Richard Curtis got mixed up with the wrong 26 year old boy.

Cody Castanga, a porn ac-tor, met Curtis at a porn shop. They then went to a hotel where Castanga banged Curtis' man-punnanny. After he demanded $1k from Curtis to keep their tryst a secret. Hey, a boy has to eat!

So what does Curtis do? He files an extortion charge against Castanga. Which is good. Nobody should be extorted. However, denying you had sex is kind of silly when you are on survalence tape walking in and out of the hotel where you just had sex with the man!

He resigned from his office on Halloween of this year.

Look, gentlemen, we are having way too much of this! I am getting tired of journaling about you kooky men every other week when the world discovers you have an appetite for another man's ass. So I am going to do you a favor. Here are

James' tips for not being caught in a gay sex scandal

1) If you have a wife and kids, leave them. Pay child support and alimony. No child should discover that daddy is gay after a public restroom sting.

2) Are you crazily anti-gay? Well knock it off. Barney Frank is still around for a reason.

3) Come on, admit it. I am not saying you have to pop on out of the closet. But when the police catch you with a dick in your mouth, don't say you were just unsure how to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation.

4) By nice to the people you fellate. You don't want them writing about your poor sexual performance 30 years after the fact (I am looking at you Mr. Craig!)

5) Pay for it yourself. Don't make the city, or state pay your bath house bill. I am all for you getting off, but a $100 hand job better come out of your well lined pockets.

pay heed to my words gentlemen and your careers may last just flicker on a few second longer than your spooge coated super-nova.

Permalink: Anti_gay_GOP_sex_scandal_blah_blah_blah.html
Words: 359
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

12/09/07 04:40 - 28ºF - ID#42449

The only christmas song you need.

Howdy,

How do you like to spend Christmas? With tinsel and trees and good cheer?

Or do you wake up at half passed whiskey and shave just a little too close around your throat?

If you are among the former. Then there ain't nothin' under the stars of heaven that can help you.

If you are among the latter. Then let Tom Waits and Peter Murphy croon their way into your vermiculited hearts.

I'll talk to you once I drown myself in bathtub gin.

::DOWNLOAD SOUND::

Permalink: The_only_christmas_song_you_need_.html
Words: 86
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: politics

12/08/07 05:36 - 31ºF - ID#42435

Mike Gravel ON ACID!

With the first caucus less than a month away, a huge upset with Mike Huckabee beating the shit out of Romney in the polls, and Obama in a statistical dead heat with Clinton in Iowa and South Carolina (Thanks Oprah!) I am really tweeking, man!

But there is one thing about this primary season that has me groovin' and that is Mike Gravel. Oh! To be sure he is an irrelevant crank who would make a superb commune secretary, or the best boss you ever had, but presidential material he is not.

Please, check out this campaign video. You will be glad you did. The thing about it is that I am not sure if it is official or not. He ads have been all bizzare.

Here it is kidos

tell me that doesn't make you want to smoke and watch Schoolhouse Rock?

Permalink: Mike_Gravel_ON_ACID_.html
Words: 152
Location: Buffalo, NY

12/08/07 12:00 - 33ºF - ID#42433

Ain't that cool!

We have a few illustrious estrippers in San Francisco, but I thought I would beat them to their local news stories.

Yup, it generates more than enough energy it needs to keep itself illuminated, about a day's worth of electricity for a family of four.

Soon, we can smile in the knowledge that the chubby mug of Paul Walier divorce attorney is green, green, green.

Permalink: Ain_t_that_cool_.html
Words: 67
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: music

12/07/07 04:02 - 31ºF - ID#42426

Two of my favorite things

John Cale + Magritte = Love

If I accomplish one thing with this journal it will have been to expose more people to John Cale. This is about the 4th Cale video I have posted here. Just a great song to a slide show of Rene Magritte's art. You know Magritte, the guy with bowler hats and umbrellas.

Permalink: Two_of_my_favorite_things.html
Words: 64
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: sex

12/06/07 07:53 - 25ºF - ID#42418

GREATEST CRAIG'S LIST M4M AD EVAH!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I give you, the GREATEST CRAIG'S LIST M4M AD EVAH!!!!

To actually read the Gurnica of personal adds, go here

tell me you don't want to move down to Texas now?

Permalink: GREATEST_CRAIG_S_LIST_M4M_AD_EVAH_.html
Words: 38
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: food

12/05/07 03:48 - 20ºF - ID#42405

Did somebody say Absinthe?

Holy cow?

How did this happen without me knowing? But, aparently, it is now legal to make and buy absinthe! You know, the same substance that turned the unreadable Coleridge into a poet tapped directly into the muse. Well, it is legal now my friends so let us get some glasses, sugar cubes, and some foppish hair!

How would you like to get your hands on a bottle? Oh sure, there is homemade stuff, but it is so alcoholic you would pass out before feeling the effects. Now that a distillery is operational we are good to go!

And now, for the first time in many, many years, let me say that I love America!

Permalink: Did_somebody_say_Absinthe_.html
Words: 115
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: politics

12/03/07 09:32 - ID#42385

Sex Scandal blah blah blah

Oh man,

I am so behind on my regurgitating of sex scandals. Ya, it is always hilarious to find out that a hypocritical Republican was doing the nasty with a prostitute in a nappy, or an anti-gay senator was getting his chum bucket dredged by an escort. The democrats' sex scandals are boring. So some staffer wanted a 3-way with a 13 year old boy. Just because you make copies and phone calls for someone doesn't mean you are all in some unholy pedophile cabal. Only hypothetical pedophilia can be funny, but only rarely. Actual pedophilia is just deeply saddening.

The Rudy billing the city of New York for hotels and transportation for his mistress and her family is a fine story. The names are great: shag-gate and my favorite 69-11. But fraud doesn't get me going.

So I dug up an old friend. As more and more men are making it public that they have had sex with disgraced Senator Larry Craig (including Mike Jones, the man who regularly blew Ted Haggard) I thought of the first such story I read a few months ago. It is shows the level of class Craig operates with. I will give you the highlights, but you can read the whole thing (and it is short) here.

Here is the man Craig boinked

and here is the unsavory money quote from the linked article

"When we got to what reminded me of a rarely used guest room, he stripped me down, and the man's hands and mouth were all over me. He kept his pants on, though, while laying me back on the bed to suck my cock. Then, he stripped naked and asked me to suck him. I complied for a while, then he disappeared and returned with lube and a condom to fuck me me with. It was a clumsy and unremarkable fuck, except that I wasn't clean and he was frantic about not getting my shit on anything. Still, he blew his load, ripped the dirty condom off and ordered me to get dressed without wiping myself. He hurried me to the back door, again ranting, 'You were never here. You don't know me. Right?'"

If only he threw a $20 at the man on his way out.

Permalink: Sex_Scandal_blah_blah_blah.html
Words: 379
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: school

12/03/07 02:43 - 34ºF - ID#42381

Holy crap

It is the end of the semester and I have a ridiculous amount of work to do. I need to pump out two essays tonight (one on a book I didn't read) and write a 20 page research paper by next Thursday. In between I have three final exams I need to study for and then the day after my research paper is due I have a teacher's certification exam that will decide my fate.

GHAAAA!!!!

Well, at least my boss has left me alone for the day with leftover Indian food. Yummy, yummy.

Permalink: Holy_crap.html
Words: 93
Location: Buffalo, NY

Category: politics

12/01/07 04:33 - 18ºF - ID#42356

Ron is Right

Hey there estripper,

Are you tired of people telling you how awesome Ron Paul is? Sick of having to defend your politician of choice against the flawless glory that is web-candidate Ron Paul?

Wish there was a way to get them back?

WELL NOW YOU CAN!!!

Just send that Ronnite over to Ron is Right.com where they will be greeted with an open letter telling them 1) You get it already 2) Please leave me alone.

And what would make a most delicious icing on the cake? How about the most 80's tastic, easy listening garbage music video ever!

thank you RonIsRight.com!