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james’s journal

Stoli hates you

· 🌡️ 49°F

So, Check this shit out.


Russians hate gays. Oh yes they do. In the city of Moscow, a group of people wanted to have a gay pride parade and festival and all that good stuff. But, once again, city government said no way poofs, why don't you go to one of those western countries that allow degenerates like you to live. And so, a group of people, representatives from poofter/western nations, and civil rights groups went with a petition to the municipal government.

They got the shit beat out of them. Oh yes they did. Homophobes, fascists, the sort of people who would do well in Russian politics beat the ever living hell out of them. And then, our petitioners were arrested. You see, you can have an Eisenstein, a Shostakovitch and still wonder how those surfs got emancipated 100 years ago.

So what do we do here in New York? Well, we protest. Who can we protest? Well... what does Russia do? Don't they make a lot of Vodka? YA! Let's boycott vodka.

And so, protesters lined up in front of the Russian embassy in New York and poured Stoli down the sewer. Held signs aloft begging all gays and gay bars to dump their Stoli and replace it with something else (tolerant Polish vodka perhaps? oh wait... crap"

It is a nice shot at Russia. Stoli's sales are over 400 million a year in America. They are the third largest seller of Vodka in the states. That should give the ol' bear a black eye, right?

First, Stoli is not the state vodka. Money earned does not go into pointing new nuclear weapons at Prague. It is a private company.

Second, Stoli advertises heavily in gay magazines which means KA-CHING money in the hands of gays! Stoli does sponsorships at bars, at social programs, in all kinds of media. KA-CHING here you go gays, some money that you gave us back into the community.

Stoli, for the record, is bottled in Latvia, not Russia.

So um. Drink up my homo-brethren. Enjoy the smooth, crisp taste of vodka beloved by millions of men and women and despised by fascists and Russian politicians.
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💬 8 comments

  1. joshua ·

    Swedish vodka, man - my fellow Swedes are as neutral (I prefer "bland") as they come!

    Russia is slowly slipping back to totalitarianism if you ask me.

  2. fellyconnelly ·

    ahh yes... rash Americans trying, unsuccessfully, to prove a point.

    Russia actually exports a ridiculous amount of petroleum/products and natural gas.

    And you KNOW that we don't have much success in boycotting that! So... umm... Vodka! yes vodka and those furry russian hats! we'll boycott that!

  3. james ·

    Joshua: That is why I really dig Ikea furniture, Black Metal, and salted fish. Sweden is the hipest, coolest nation for left wingers who don't have their heads up their ass (sorry kids, Chavez is quotable, but the same South American scary ass lefty we have seen before).

    And Russia isn't slipping back to totalitarianism, it has never really left it. I think Russians really want a Philosopher-King. They dig that idea. So warm, fuzzies like democracy and capitalism just don't work in Russia. At its most democratic, Russians love a pro-wrestler drinking buddy as king (Alexander II). Other than facial hair, I can't even tell the real difference between the right wing monarchy, the left wing Soviets, and the abortive democracy they have now.

    Felly: Russian energy is exported mostly to its neighbors. They are also the largest exporter of arms (weapons, not limbs). Strangly though, the largest exporter of those furry Russian hats is Utah. Who knew?

  4. james ·

    Ahem, Alexander III is what I meant.

    I am afraid my old academic adviser will read this and weep that I can't keep my Czars straight.

  5. fellyconnelly ·

    I just looked it up and they are called ushankas. The Utah Ushankas, on a side note, sounds like the name of the Mormon Bobsled team.

  6. metalpeter ·

    This is the part that I don't get about a boycott. Lets assume that there was some Vodka Company that gave money to the Russian Government and then they beat up gays and people who wanted a pride parade (it isn't true but let us assume that). What would a boycott do? 1. Some Gays would stop buying it. 2. Some strights would stop buying it. 3. Some bars would stop buying it. 4. A lot of strights and gays wouldn't care and still buy it. 5. Everyone who doesn't like gays would go out and buy that brand of Vodaka the second they heard about it. There are a lot of people in this country who don't like gays and think being gay is immoral and have a lot of hate. These aren't people who protest marchs or hurt anyone. But if they thought they could help fund the hate then they would. I think a boycott could just make things worse in Russia. Again it is mute point since Stoli doesn't give money to people to attack gays. That being said it is to bad that they beat up the petitioners but that is a much different country then places where gays are more accepted.

  7. james ·

    Felly: Have you not seen the epic movie about the Mormon bobsled team called 'Austere Runnings' it is a somber testament to the triumph of the human will and sobriety.

    Peter: For the boycott to work more people have to stop using a product than new people begin using because of the boycott. Of the many, many gay bars I have been in almost all had Stoli in them. Which could mean a huge hit to their earnings. But, if suddenly homophobes and facists and the like pick up drinking Stoli well, that would dampen the damages a bit.

    Thankfully, Stoli is Latvian and loves all people. So, go out today and have a martini or two to show your support for progressive liquor.

  8. fellyconnelly ·

    i had to google that to see if you were kidding or not. stupid me, the first entry that came up was this post.
    don't mind me, i was raised in a shed behind a cave.

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