"I was the turkey all along" written by James on estrip.org

05/07/07 10:58 - 61ºF - ID#39197

I was the turkey all along

Jim and i have been watching Invader Zim from netflix. When this show was on TV i was usually drunk or stoned and couldn't quite comprehend it's delights. This was one of my favorite moments and I would love to share it with you in all its VHS ripped glory.

Permalink: I_was_the_turkey_all_along.html
Words: 58
Location: Buffalo, NY

05/07/07 03:05 - 65ºF - ID#39191

And me without my camera

Riding up Delaware Ave to drop (e:Jim) off at work the car in front of us had a rainbow flag sticker with a bear paw on it. I made some joke about a bear sighting then notice his license plate. A Virginia plate reading XXXPUP.

How fucking awesome is that?

typing his licence plate number into google yeilded this first hit

mystery solved.

fellyconnelly writes at 01:46:46 05/11/07 - Comment #18360: homosinuality is an awesome word... i'm going to have to remember that!

james writes at 11:24:36 05/10/07 - Comment #18350: And I was going to blaim a catholic bishop for your soul's fall into homosinuality.

paul writes at 10:36:13 05/10/07 - Comment #18345: I took this communciations class in college where we had to pick a fringe group and do a report. I ended up writing mine on bears. This was sometime in 1996 and it was way radical for the class I was in. I had a fun chatting with them on online. In fact I think it was my first experience chatting with a gay person online. Oh where that has lead.

fellyconnelly writes at 09:44:57 05/10/07 - Comment #18344: big hairy xxxpup man!

i agree... awesome thread..

and i definetly think that more people die in that manner than we think - i think it is more often classified as suicide for the sanity of the family/friends...

james writes at 07:14:35 05/10/07 - Comment #18338: Felly:

Ya, big hairy men works just fine as a definition. Smelly is just for zest.

Ya, the INXS fella did die from strangling himself while pounding one out. That doesn't really fall under the BDSM category, though strangling and breath-play definitely does. It is tough to say what he got off on, the enhanced orgasm from strangling, or the being strangled part. I can't say what got him off so I don't know how to categorize it.

This comment thread has been awesome by the way. Thank you everyone for participating.

fellyconnelly writes at 06:55:09 05/10/07 - Comment #18335: I always just saw bears as big hairy men. thats all.

also - didn't the guy from INXS die from auto erotic asphyxiation?
if so i don't think that would be BDSM but just Bondage. BDSM involves two persons in a submission/domination type of setting.

and james - i love your explanation of tops/bottoms.. very blunt and to the point! also your description of a bar full of hairy bears!

james writes at 09:33:28 05/10/07 - Comment #18304: Jenks: I could make a joke about profetional experience with XXX, but I won't. ^_~

Joshua: Well, we can extrapolate from below mentioned study that hets don't. Which isn't so bad in a heteronormative world for the straight individual I guess. But whether someone likes to be spanked, peed on, or just plain vanilla fun, it is just sex and what an anxious age we live in if we have academic studies on what gets us off.

The people who like to be smelly/hairy and be treated like dogs, that is swell and I tip my hat to you. To everyone who enjoys good ol' fasioned crotch slamin' sex, mazeltov. It is just sex, enjoy it.

joshua writes at 10:43:33 05/09/07 - Comment #18298: I'm happy with my sexual identity but I don't really think about it too much... it makes me wonder if heteros such as myself just don't consider it as much as the gay fellas do.

To hell with that BDSM stuff - that got that guy from INXS killed! Call me crazy, but I like the original, old school, sweaty, all-out bonin'. Having a little kink is cool, but I'm not about to drink piss out of a bowl. That ain't sex, man!

jenks writes at 09:43:17 05/08/07 - Comment #18271: Cool. Thanks. I had an idea about the other terms, but pup is a new one to me. (I DID manage to figure out the XXX part all by myself, though. ;) )

james writes at 08:31:43 05/08/07 - Comment #18268: well, we already covered tops/bottoms, doms/subs, and shiney primped gay boys/bears.

Another subculture in the sexual pantheon of homos are the pups. It is a dom/sub play thing where you treat the sub like a dog, or pup. You know, give them a leash, make them drink from a bowl on the floor (I wont go into what they might be drinking, but for pleasnatries sake let's just say it is a single malt scotch) make them sleep in a cage, all that good stuff.

Interestingly enough, a study was conducted in Australia recently that said that gay men and lesbians are more likely to engage in BDSM than their hetero counterparts and that they were more happy with their sexual identity as well. They also there was no difference between either group (BDSM and vanilla) in terms of experiencing abuse.

jenks writes at 08:20:05 05/08/07 - Comment #18267: ok, I have a different question. What does XXXPUP mean? Am I missing a joke there? Or is it just random?

james writes at 05:13:44 05/08/07 - Comment #18266: Jason: You know those queer eye for the straight guy folks? Bears are the opposite. They are manly gay men. They are hairy, smelly, and don't give a damn about pomade or wainscotting. However, the number of bears I have known have some secret overtly homosexual asthetic, like owning a cher CD or really liking Bett Midler in Yenta. People are individuals ultimatly but they love their labels.

Joshua: that is a damn awesome idea.

Peter: Basicly Tops like to stick their dicks in butts. Bottoms like to have dicks and other assorted things stuck in their butt. Power, domination, and all that other good stuff is optional. So you could be a dominate bottom and shove your butt on some guys shlong. A hetero version would be a woman who spanks her male friend and calls him a baby for not fucking her hard enough.

Sex is a many faced and confusing subject. I mean, what sort of catagory does the guy who gets off from smelling fresh q-tips fit into? I don't know, but a sexual world full of variety is a wonderous one we should all romp through now and again.

metalpeter writes at 04:23:29 05/08/07 - Comment #18262: Not being gay by self I'm not sure if I can explain it right. My understanding is the top is the aggresser or the one who starts things going sexualy. They are the ones in control and who like to control things. Supposidly two tops won't get along because they will both try to control the sexaul situation. Bottoms like to be controlled. I Have no idea if tops and bottoms have anything to do with what sexual position is used or not. Even though you can have gay S&M if guess it would be like if the top where was the dom and bottom was the submissive. When I have heard the term "bear" I all ways thought of someone who was furry like a bear, but also is kinda built like one also in terms of being wide and maybe short and heavy. Lumbjacks are tall and have a completely different build. Again I'm not gay so I could be completely wrong about this.

joshua writes at 04:18:04 05/08/07 - Comment #18261: Forget top/bottom - I think sports euphemisms are far better!

jason writes at 04:09:38 05/08/07 - Comment #18260: I'm serious man, what is a "Bear" compared to a normal gay guy? The lumberjack types? I didn't peruse too much but most of the guys looked big framed, lots of hair (face and body).

james writes at 04:00:10 05/08/07 - Comment #18259: Joshua:
That famous sexual cosmonaut and social critique Gore Vidal rejects the idea of gender roles but totally believes in Tops and Bottoms. I don't get it. People should spend more time doing what they like rather than penning themselves in a neat little roll. What confusing people.

Felly: I worked in a middle of no where gay bar that was somewhat notorious for running a New York beat weekend. Where all the NYC bears would come up to conneticut, drink and do drugs in this bar and then go camping and have lots of sex.

The ammount of fur in that bar would clog an armada of vacuums. *shiver*

joshua writes at 03:14:15 05/08/07 - Comment #18257: The gay lingo I really, really don't get. I understand why this guy might be referred to as a "bear" but the top/bottom thing is something different.

I think somebody a while back made a post about this lingo that would probably shed some light on this.

fellyconnelly writes at 10:22:29 05/08/07 - Comment #18253: wow... that is one hairy bear!

james writes at 05:18:15 05/07/07 - Comment #18228: You know, I think there is something to your terminology. Never again will I think of the lumberjack as exclusie terain of Lesbians.

jason writes at 05:00:34 05/07/07 - Comment #18227: Is Bear411 strictly for lumberjack gays?

Permalink: And_me_without_my_camera.html
Words: 64
Location: Buffalo, NY

05/05/07 09:08 - 57ºF - ID#39169

Choke this down with your mint julip

giggle snort*

a horse in the Kentucky Derby is named Scat Daddy

that is all

snort giggle*

Permalink: Choke_this_down_with_your_mint_julip.html
Words: 17
Location: Buffalo, NY

05/04/07 09:05 - 61ºF - ID#39156

Bubble Mother Fucking Tea, mother fucker

I am pleased as punch

The sort of punch distilled from a child's smile ground of their face and mixed with scotch. Oh yes, it was indeed a happy moment.

I had heard of bubble tea a few years ago, and it sounded bizarrely exotic. Buffalo seems to culinary be insular. We have great food here. But I the thai places are blah, I have yet to have good Chinese food, and most good restaurants seem to work on that American/French fusion formula "Large piece of meat and braised veggies". That is great and all but not the best place to expand your palate.

But while waiting for photos to be developed at Color tech Jim and I had a snack/dinner at Bao Bakery and Teahouse. Holy crap it was wonderful. It is a little Chinese bakery and offers a huge list of bubble teas and other drinks. I have been looking for a chinese bakery since I moved here. Even in tiny little Albany there was one filled with amazing baked goods.

If you don't know what is up with Chinese baking, it works like this. You take this croissant like crumbly pastry and fill it with anything, teriyaki chicken, BBQ pork, tofu and veggies. And oh man, these were do good and only 85 cents a bun. Two buns will satisfy anyone when hungry.

The bubble tea was so much better/weirder than I thought it would be. I had lychee flavor. 12 oz of lychee tea was so much more than I could drink. Gnawing on black pearls of tapioca is magically weird. It is, like Guinness, a meal in a can/cup.

So, if you are ever near Thunderdome/The Boulevard Mall please stop by and drink/eat until you are giddy from all the super tasty treats.

love

Permalink: Bubble_Mother_Fucking_Tea_mother_fucker.html
Words: 303
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/30/07 09:05 - 61ºF - ID#39109

For U Buffalo H8tahs

I found this article while looking for a picture of the Hutchinson house which is now the leveled parking lot of the Saturn club.

Here is an excerpt:

There is a fine line between something and nothing and Buffalo manages to walk it straight despite the large quantities of alcohol it consumed in hopes of blurring that line just a little wider. Unlike other cities, where it's easy to sink into the flow of everything's fine, in Buffalo, you must be a prophet or drown in utter mediocrity. Buffalo demands existential authenticity, and the rock we push up the hill (only to have it roll back down over us time and time again) is our only salvation. Like Rimbaud in the gutters and back-alleys of Paris, in Buffalo, you have no choice but to remake life; there's no bullshit left to buy, no palace gates to hide behind (I endure Siddhartha Gautama's 4 passing sights whenever I walk out my front door). Buffalo is the most advanced city in America; we progressed beyond progress.

And the full deal is here

enjoy kittens

Permalink: For_U_Buffalo_H8tahs.html
Words: 181
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/29/07 08:11 - 49ºF - ID#39088

Saving a dead whale for supper.

Damn, I am good.

I don't say this to pat myself on the back. For I am pliable enough to do that myself and I am sitting down now anyway and the patting would be uncomfortable for the both of us.

But we are moving in a month, and over the two years we have lived here I have become my mother. This is not to say I have at any point lactated or made someone believe baby Jesus cries when you touch yourself; rather I have collected enough food to stock a bomb shelter for however long the half-life of Plutonium is.

I have no intention of moving several thousand pounds of adzuki beans, a metric ton of brown rice, an drum of olive oil, and enough canned tomatoes to bomb Drezden to the ground. So, it is up to me to use this cyclopian collection of foods up.

It was easy enough at first, there were palatable connections to make among the items. But over the last few weeks the options have become less enjoyable. Tonight I had a 28oz can of crushed tomatoes, some half and half about to expire, stale abarito rice, and various fresh foods. I should mention that out of concern for using all these staples, I have been ignoring all the veggies which are in various stages of rotting.

Well, creamy tomato risotto with chicken sausage and crimany mushrooms actually came out well. But I am affraid i am running out of possibilities. What do you do with a pound of freeze dried shitaki mushrooms, cannelloni beans and lasagna noodles? And if you say shitaki bean lasagna I wont hear of it. I wont make another culinary abortion like that.

But, just three more weeks until the moving van is here and life can resume to normal. And I can begin creating another future crisis of too much food that doesn't go together.

Permalink: Saving_a_dead_whale_for_supper_.html
Words: 320
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/26/07 02:56 - 58ºF - ID#39056

My Silly Phobia

Hi folks,

If anyone is planning on using this information to torture/murder me I must warn you, it wont be easy.

I have a phobia, and it is really weird. Do you know anyone else that has this, because it is starting to make me think I am too weird for my own good; moving from charmingly eccentric to fucking psychotic.

I get really freaked out by gas giant planets. Jupiter is alright, but Neptune and Uranus boarder on bowel loosening terror. Recently, the discovery of this earth like planet were cause of panic. The planet itself is sufficiently earth like to be fine, but it's sun is much smaller and cooler than ours and looms 5x larger in the sky than our sun does. That was close enough to a gas giant to really let me get nervous. Imagine, the very life giving sun above your head is the source of your terror? What a hellish planet. I nearly spent the remander of the day under the bed sheets, shivering.

So, does anyone else suffer from this malady? Know anyone? Or am I stranded in this neurosis alone?

help.

james writes at 11:29:35 04/28/07 - Comment #17926: Josh: It is experienced in weird ways in the imagination. Like reading about the below mentioned planet. But, you are right, it is pretty easy to handle.

THe gasbag planets might have a solid of liquid core, but none that you would want trapse around on. Well, I wouldn't at least. The wikipedia article on Jupiter has some interesting stuff about its core as well as it being too small to be a star. An interesting if not horrifying Lovecraftian read.

joshua writes at 10:58:23 04/28/07 - Comment #17922: Well, one thing about this particular phobia is nice - you'll never actually experience it for real.

I do find it weird to think of a planet that has no land mass to speak of. They say Jupiter was a star that never got big or hot enough to ignite.

james writes at 03:03:59 04/27/07 - Comment #17899: Nice try Jason. I am cool with noxious gasses. Just not so much noxious gas that you get a whole huge ass planet.

jason writes at 02:48:49 04/27/07 - Comment #17895: Mmmm! Ammonia and Hydrogen Sulfide! Get two lungs full!

james writes at 02:17:05 04/27/07 - Comment #17893: theecarey: red suns are fine by me. Some of the other colored ones sound awesome. Like Blue! Or those half-dead brown ones. I mean, a brown star? That joke practicaly writes itself!

Josh: Dude you are seriously freaking me out. Thankfully I find this whole phobia really funny. So my cold sweat and terror are making me giggle.

Jenks: right on!

jenks writes at 01:17:11 04/27/07 - Comment #17892: heh, low blow joshy!!

joshua writes at 11:26:43 04/27/07 - Comment #17891: Can you imagine travelling through Jupiter if you could? You'd basically fall straight through layers of gas that eventually turn into liquefied metallic hydrogen and your body would get crushed far before you'd ever arrive.

theecarey writes at 10:37:24 04/26/07 - Comment #17878: Ah see, thats why your post made me think of Goldilocks then ;)

imagine staring up at a red sun?!

james writes at 10:28:52 04/26/07 - Comment #17877: oh ya, I mentioned that planet above. It the hell out of me. And for the record only the hell was scared out of me.

theecarey writes at 10:22:25 04/26/07 - Comment #17876: No bowel loosening intentions here, but I can appreciate a good fear inducing borderline neurosis (babies, spider monkeys and clowns for me). I'm not sure how gaseous she is, but I think 'Goldilocks' may send you crying. Similar to Earth, the planet has just one sun, but its a big ole bright red one. Also possibly inhabited :) read on..

:::link:::

Permalink: My_Silly_Phobia.html
Words: 193
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/25/07 03:52 - 45ºF - ID#39039

What happened?

Dear me,

What ever happened to the hardened alcoholic I fell in love with all those years ago? I used to watch you, in an existential sort of way, do a shot of grain alcohol and chase it with plastic jug popov vodka and smile. Oh, you would smile. For you were getting drunk, way too drunk to tell the difference between alcohol and laundry soap. But he's dead now. The self I fell in love with is dead to us all now.

So,

I thought I would take a nostalgic drink down memory lane and picked up a bottle of Seagrams lime infused gin. Last time I had a bottle of this particular gin I was atop a mountain in Pennsylvania along the Appalachian trail, tripping my face off with about eight other people. It was crisp and delicious, the way anything can be while on drugs if you convince yourself enough of it.

Man, while cultivating a certain refinement I didn't think my appreciation for the shittier things in life would wane. But wane they have. I have become spoiled by good wine and beer, leaving my love for cheap but plentiful hard liquor behind. And sad to say my first alcohol soaked love, gin, went first. But I thought I would be safe. I could still drink my cheap brand x whiskey. But that sweet, sweet taste of Jamison makes me wonder why I don't shack up with him.

For the first time in my life I can't help but to think that life would have been better had I been born in a prison. That way I could have raised my palate on toilet hooch. And now, among men of the free world, I would be wide eyed in wonderment that a drink doesn't cause throat scaring. That people have liquor cabinets and bars, not storing them in plastic bags in a toilet tank.

Truly, it would be a wonderful world.

Permalink: What_happened_.html
Words: 325
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/20/07 12:07 - 46ºF - ID#38975

Makes you want to throw up dosn't it?

So, how about fighting religious extremists at home?

james writes at 06:58:40 04/20/07 - Comment #17718: MC: WWJD? I would hope he would strike Phelps as god did Saul.

Peter: I imagine Jesus as a hip and groovy guy. One who's first miracle was to turn water into wine so that we could all party and get our freak on. The words of Jesus himself make no condemnation against much of anything. He would be as aghast with Phelps as any sensible person or demi-human would be.

Carolinian: Phelps and his bunch are so fucked up they can't even get a moderately large following in a place like Topeka. Or do I think of it that way because Phelps has tainted Topeka? We must all go to a fetish bar in Topeka to feel out what the natives are like.

carolinian writes at 06:51:10 04/20/07 - Comment #17717: Only a small church? I would have imagined such passion and zeal to be at least worthy of a moderately-sized ATF-resistant compound.

metalpeter writes at 06:17:00 04/20/07 - Comment #17716: (e:musemchick) you bring up a good point about what would Jesus do. One of the problems with organised realigon is that you get people who read the Bible and base what they do on a book that was writen 400 years after his death. That would be like if after we got our indepence from England now one wrote a history book until today. Not to mention the fact that there where other scripts that could be in the bible but "The Church" not jesus had a say in what stories where put into the bible. People should do what they belive is right based on what they believe Jesus would do not the church. Most people don't understand that those two are different and think that the church and Jesus are the same. But that being said There are multiple branches of Christianty and some of them hate other branches of the same basic beleif system.

museumchick writes at 04:14:39 04/20/07 - Comment #17703: What would Jesus do?

Would he tell people to picket someone's funeral?

Arrgh.

jason writes at 02:08:17 04/20/07 - Comment #17698: Since his following consists of mainly his personal set of friends and his family, they would be fairly easy to round up. Hell, stage a fake "fag-in" and wait for them to walk right into the trap.

Well, since we can't do that, we'll just have to do what we do with all radicals - shout them down ourselves.

zobar writes at 01:50:37 04/20/07 - Comment #17697: The Rev Phelps has been around this block more than once :::link:::

- Z

jim writes at 01:38:52 04/20/07 - Comment #17696: I'd say, ignore the trolls. Protesting these people just escalates the coverage they receive.

james writes at 01:10:38 04/20/07 - Comment #17694: oh, I am all for absolute free speach. Yell fire in a crowded theater. I am cool with it, espetialy if there is a fire.

These people are ignorant fucks, however. They picket the funerals of US soldiers because they are in an institution that is friendly towards gays. And I guess unless the military isn't stringing up homosexuals they are freindly to them.

Or picketing the funerals of people who have died of AIDS. After all, AIDS is a fag disease, and all those place in Africa where the infection rate is over 30% of the total population ,well, must be dem fags.

I am glad we live in a country where people can say whatever they want. But I am sad we live in a country where more people don't protest the protesters, though there are certainly several examples of people doing so.

joshua writes at 12:59:30 04/20/07 - Comment #17693: Welcome to the dark side of the 1st Amendment. =/

Permalink: Makes_you_want_to_throw_up_dosn_t_it_.html
Words: 10
Location: Buffalo, NY

04/19/07 10:55 - 45ºF - ID#38955

My Favorite Republican

Right now I am listening to Alberto Gonzalez testify before the senate judiciary committee. Al's voice sounds so soft. I imagine him wide eyed, doe like. Naughty boy is going to be spanked. And he is.

So far, I want to make dirty sweet love to Arlen Specter in thanks. That man knows how to rake someone over the coals while sounding paternal.

Al's strategy so far is
1) "I can't recall"
2) "Kyle Sampson has that information"

But Arlen, how you cut through that. Asking Al "Do you prepare for all of your hearings? Do you prepare for all your press conferences?" Oh yes, YES YES! You just hit my g-spot Mr. Gentleman from Pennsylvania. Hit that! YA!

I really don't know much about Specter on many of the issues. But during the confirmation hearings for Harriet Myers, Sammy Alito DAMN! Specter fucked their shit up! I don't care if he wants to burn all the gays, deport the Jews, and enslave the blacks. He knows how to toss daggers with kisses from his jowly mouth.

You are my favorite Republican Mr. Specter.

You hear that John McCain? Ya, you knew you were on my shit list from your shift from Maverick Republican with principle to Straight Talk Crap Express far right wing blow job giving dog. But you a buried beneith the specter of your former self... that and Arlen Specter. It is over between us. Mail back the ring, no, pawn it. I don't want it anyway.

love,

-James

Permalink: My_Favorite_Republican.html
Words: 250
Location: Buffalo, NY