It's Porn Saturday! This is up there for one of the most ridiculous spams I've ever received. Keep in mind that every single one of these ads is flashing and, in some cases, undulating:



This one's my favorite. Truth in advertising?



- Z


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Thing #1: The super-ghetto school-bus-conversion ice cream trucks seem to be improving, technologically. The one I saw yesterday on Delaware Ave had a drum track to its little tune, and a number of weird sound effects. It went: 'It's a small world after all [boioioing!] It's a small world after all [whizzz!]' all the way down the street. It sounded extra demented as it left and the doppler effect detuned it to a weird modal industrio-prog-rock thing.

Thing #2: One of my coworkers in the back office finally said 'enough of this shit, I can't work in this hot office,' and moved his computer up to the conference table. As he was working there this afternoon, suddenly a stream of water started pouring out of the ceiling and onto his head. Apparently, the central air conditioning unit that is supposed to cool the front office froze solid, shut off, and when the ice block it had created around itself started melting in the summer heat, it drained directly onto my coworker's chrome-dome.

Thing #3: We made our first formal announcement for our newest popularity contest this afternoon at about 12:30pm; just this afternoon we got two very good entries already. One of the entries was a decent but fairly average metal band; the other was a naked disco queer. There is no contest. If I could cancel the contest and declare a winner, it would totally be the naked disco queer, who says his shows are 'fabulous and horrible at the same time - like a trainwreck with box cars full of glitter.' He will be playing a show at a nudist beach in Florida in November. In his press photo, he is wearing nothing but a pair of tighty-whities and daring you to make fun of him so he can beat your ass. One of the sample songs he submitted is entitled 'Where in the Hell is North Tonawanda?' which, by the way, is my new journal music. This man is a rock star, in the purest sense of the word.

- Z

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Kendall, 'Where In the Hell is North Tonawanda?' gather:0353400001154572215

No subject, no signature:

Where can I get Dr. Klein's Bagel Bars in Grand Rapids , MI ??

So I typed "Dr. Klein's Bagel Bars" into Google with unexpected results. So I typed "Bagels near Grand Rapids, MI" into Google Maps and replied:

Have you tried the Bagel Beanery out in Wyoming on Clyde Park Ave near the park?

- Z

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New journal music: "Keep It Hot for Daddy" by Soul Position. gather:0266278001153925680

I finally got around to installing The Gimp on my new laptop. [I would have gone with Photoshop, but I haven't yet installed any pirated software on this computer, and I didn't want to start now.]

So now [is this too corny for (e:strip)?] I want to start a Photoshop [..., Gimp, MS Paint, ...] contest on the theme of this photo of (e:dragonlady7) 's dad:



The only rule is, keep it clean [consider it a test of your sense of humor]. Here's the first entry to get this train wreck a-rollin':



Winner gets ... beer?

- Z

Now we've got these weird fuckers popping out all over the place. [see previous post]



- Z

We used to have an air conditioner in the office, but it didn't work very well. This morning we replaced it with a convenient portal to the underworld.



Last night I made spaghetti with a very flavorful magic red pesto.

Ingredients:
1/4c extra-virgin olive oil
1/3c sun-dried tomatoes in oil [chopped?]
1c fresh basil
2+ cloves garlic
1/3c parmesan cheese
1lb thin spaghetti
Use your imagination.

Instructions:
Use your imagination on the olive oil. [Your imagination doesn't have to be very good if you have a lot of it.] Filter the olive oil into a food processor, along with the sun-dried tomatoes, basil, garlic, and parmesan. Process until finely chopped. Cook the spaghetti. Drain the noodles, saving 1/2c of the noodle water for the pesto [I'm not sure why it has to be noodle water, but that's what the recipe says]. Add the noodle water to the pesto, mix, and toss with the noodles.

- Z

'Buffalo's bloggers took a break Saturday from criticizing Joel Giambra, Wal-Mart and the Buffalo Sabres' proposed new logo to eat some barbecue and meet their cyber peers.'

'only about a dozen bloggers ... attended'

'Saturday's event is the fourth BloggerCon meeting for members of the area blogging community.'

'The social-networking aspect of blogging just comes with the territory," said Derek Punaro'

WTF?! WNY Media has a get-together once a year and, out of their less than 20 members, half show up. What's the deal, call a roast pig a 'conference,' and it'll make B1 in the local paper? We've done more get-togethers in the last four months than they've done in the last four years, usually on less than two days' notice, and there's usually at least a dozen people there each time. And furthermore, we have no offline picnics because when we unplug ... we're still online.

(e:strip) - The Jimmy Olsen of the Buffalo Blogging community.

Who's the new PR director? You need to send the News an angry letter to the editor. I have it on good authority that they'll print anything.

- Z

The air conditioner for the back office is busted and it ain't getting fixed.

I feel kind of bad about it, partially because I'm in the back office but mostly because I'm on the outs with management w.r.t. the air conditioning situation (e:zobar,68) [woops].

So today I went out and got a 6-pack of icy-cold Sam Adams for the back office. [It is important to know that the back office and the front office are separate enough that we may as well be in separate buildings.] Later on, the assistant music editor came back to chat about our upcoming citywide battle-of-the-bands thing (e:zobar,79) . Of course I offered him a bottle, and of course he accepted. I did not expect that, after the meeting, he would come back with two 6-packs of icy cold beer of his own for the office. Now Video and Editorial are in on it, and nothing is getting done.

Now we've got AirTunes set up in the back office and one of the front office people is djing for us. I got a link to Bar Stool Racing and we got videos of dudes taking on four other dudes and winning and the whole place has just gone to hell. This is kind of a crappy company to work for, but where else could you get away with this much fucking around?

Wally is my hero. Perhaps that's a bad thing.

- Z

On the one hand, what a weirdo.
On the other hand, can you blame him?



- Z

First things first: (e:libertad,79) got me thinking about the environment, sort of - so my new user sound is '(Nothing But) Flowers' by the Talking Heads gather:0052634001152745342

I'm a little cheesed off about work- I got the last three articles dumped on my desk at 5:30 this evening, a half hour after I was supposed to have already been at my mom's house to tend to her dog. One of them was supposed to be a web exclusive that we were going to promote on the cover, but it's in the paper this week. Is it just me, or does something cease to be a web exclusive once you run it through the press? Ohhh.... just the video is exclusive to the web, because that's a special thing. Wouldn't it be more impressive if we did run the video in the paper? Pick the most important 54 frames and print them in the corner of every page so you can flip through them real fast?

The moral of the story is: the dog pooped all over the floor.

- Z

_______________
ps. The video is kind of blah, but it's worth it just to see Antoine Thompson try to say that he supports gay marriage without actually saying that he supports gay marriage. Also, props to Sam Hoyt for showing up and going on-record, though his argument that gay marriage would be good for Buffalo's economy is, like, really weird.