02/17/04 09:06 - ID#21819
Am I so wrapped up in my own life out here that I have completely ignored my darling buffalonian friends? I talked to Mike today for a second and it didn't sound like there was anything new going on with anyone, and I haven't updated or really read any journals in about two weeks so I just assumed I was as up to date as always. I just took the time to read everyones journals and I realize that I am so in the dark. I asked mike about everyone's spring break plans and whether it would be possible for people to come up and visit me, since I am unsure if I am able to come home for mine, or if maybe we could meet in NYC, there were no real answers since he hadn't talked to anyone about it, but I really think something needs to happen in the way of me seeing people because I am obviously not in the loop as far as what is going on with everyone. I read these journals and I need the info so badly but you guys are always very vague as to what is actually going on, just that something is going on. I have many questions that I need to be answered, someone e-mail me about the following: Ted? I am assuming he is a guy from pano's that jill is dating. How did they meet and who asked who out? Does he work at panos or was he just there? What does he look like? Has everyone met him? How long have they been going out? Has she seen his wanky? What did he get her for valentines day? Mike what exactly was the best time and yet the worst in your life that made you think about what you were missing? And why were you thanking teres for it? Are you really considering going to the prom? Does this girl go to west? Who is jens boyfriend? When did they meet, how long have they been together, and who asked who out? How was valentines day in canada? Has everyone met him? What does he look like? Did you get naked with him? Are you still "pure" (for lack of saying a virgin) and what is this about you "entertaining" the troops you saucy minx? and MK where are you going for break? Do you realize that I wont see you till summer crazy lady and if you take another trip in early summer I wont see you for a VERY long time!? And someone please tell me about this yosepha jewish dating service (I am assuming thats what it is) thing? All of these things need to be discussed, I need someone or frankly all of you (so I can get all sides of the story) to e-mail me these details so I know what the heck is going on!!! Okay I will update my own information either later this evening or tomorrow about what is going on with me but right now I really have to get to a paper that I have procrastinated all week. Please get back to me asap with all of the crazy details!
Location: Buffalo, NY
02/01/04 03:53 - ID#21818
Private Parts starring Jingles Deumant
Mk just did these fun little name things and I thought I'd try it cause it was silly:
EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = Garlic-Salt Austrailia
(Favorite Spice + Favorite Foreign Vacation Spot)
SOCIALITE ALIAS = Fry Ontario
(Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied)
"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J.Lo) = D. Ve
(First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)
DIVA ALIAS = Juice Disanni
(Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen)
GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = Kitten Milton
(Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Last Went to School)
BARFLY ALIAS = Flurry Coke
(Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink)
SOAP OPERA ALIAS = Phylis Liston
(middle Name + Street You Live On)
PORN STAR ALIAS = Jingles Deumant
(First Pet's Name + Street You Grew Up On)
ROCK STAR ALIAS = Vodka Rose
(Any Liquid on the Bar + Last Name of Bad-Ass Celebrity
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/28/04 07:58 - ID#21817
Vanity and Ghosts
My roomate moved out monday night, exactly one week it took to get rid of her, a record for me. I didn't kill her or anything actually she hated me before I hated her because I made friends the first day I got here, and she was hoping to be the person to be my best friend and show me around etc. and I was prettier than her (shocking, I know) so whenever she brought over skanky or drunk guys she was trying to hook up with, they would hit on me and it pissed her off. I had or did everything she wanted to, but couldn't get or do in one semester. I liked being the person that someone aspired to be like or at least best friends with, its a change from me being that freak like in high school (we all know I still aspire to be Katie Philips or Jennifer Garner but thats a whole nother entry). I guess thats kind of my goal in life, to be the kind of person other people wish they were, even for a second. Thats why I think I love when people comment on how cute and in love Matt and I are, because I spent a huge portion of my life before him waiting to have the kind of relationship that other people wished about and it happened literally over night (I am so lucky sometimes). Is it selfish to want these things? I don't know, I guess some people might see it that way but I think its kind of human nature to want be the best like a darwin survival of the fittest. I may sound smug about being a role model of sorts but on the flip side I am also terrified of losing these things, friends, the boy, the nice dorm room, nice clothes, all material, but I am so terrified that it makes me appreciate them so much. Especially for how hard I worked to get to this place in my life. I think that is something else that makes me more of a person, that I appreciate these things and worked hard to get them which is a big reason why I don't think people should be jealous or mad at me for getting to this point. That may be the most vain entry of the year, but when do I ever have moments of vanity?
Mk and I are talking on aim right now and she is telling me it is a 50/50 chance of her coming to Boston to visit me next month. Which I was so looking forward to but stuff happens and I totally understand but still. I want you guys to come down and see this city that has stolen my heart. Its probably the best place I have ever been in my life. Enough said. I must get some homework done, and tonight the ladies and I are going to play with the ouiji board in our building because this place is sooooooo haunted. I am going to be so afraid, as if I haven't slept with the tv or lights on since I got here this is only gonna make it worse. Oh well I'll get over it..I guess. Nighty night
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/22/04 05:00 - ID#21816
Its the new Jan Brady!
So I am at my new school now, I moved in on Monday and I love it here. However, once again my roomate is insane. The first day I got here I started going around introducing myself etc. and as soon as I told them where I am living everyone cringed. "Gabbie" my roomate is loud and obnoxious with a smoker voice due to the pack a day she smokes. Everything she owns smells of cigarettes and whatever doesn't smell like cigarettes smells like chinese food. Everyone told me these stories about how crazy her and her former roomate were and how many times they both had been switched out of rooms until they were put together. Apparently their room was singlehandedly responsible for the rat and mice problem in my building because they would hoard food in their room and leave it lying all over the place and that you could smell their room from down the hall. She "takes over the personalities and likes of other people she meets and has no real self esteem" is what someone had told me. Not two days after I got here she bought a bracelet identical to mine, bought identical groceries (pizza rolls cookie dough and a green message board) and anytime she saw a guy talking to me for more than a few seconds she would interrupt our conversation to say something about how I have a boyfriend. That is a. embarrasing and b. rude especially since I am new and just trying to meet people. Or if I said something about thinking a guy was cute she would tell me she dated that person, a blatent lie in every case, especially because she is deffinately not the most desireable girl in the world. She had a 20 min conversation with a prank caller the other day, she's crazy needless to say. She kind of reminds me of that mental patient in girl interrupted who saves all the rotissery chickens in her room. Thankfully she has not left any food out or shown any signs of being messy since I've been here because we all know what a crazy clean freak I am. I totally dissinfected the entire room after hearing the stories about her before she moved in, and matt and I flipped the mattress and lysoled everything. So yeah crazies are funny.
I made some really good friends for the first time since high school. Hopefully I wont say or do something stupid and put myself in the gabbie category and lose my friends but so far I've been having a lot of fun with them. They were all friends from last semester and last semester was all of their first. The two girls that live down the hall cassie and wendy are freshman but very mature for what I remember being like at 18. Cassie loves animals esp. cats and she has two horses, she lives a half hour from boston and is incredibly motherly and boy crazy at the same time. Wendy is from marthas vineyard which is about 2 hours away and she is this really great writer, she's bi and likes elves, fairys, and orlando bloom. Kyle is a gay fasion major who tells the funiest stories and some stories about gay life that I am shocked by. He's 21 and from vermont and he has the lowdown on the fun clubs in the area. Shannon is 20 and from vermont and she looks a lot like katie obrien so she freaked me out a lot. I was so intimidated that she was just going to make fun of me every day but she is really nice and it is fading. She's a child education major and works for the "zoloft" family (our nickname for them) in the richest neighborhood down here. Yesterday cassie, wendy, this girl from across the street Jen King and I took wendy's 2 foot plastic lawn ornament penguin she has in her room (Wally's kind like those hollow santas people always have on their lawn at christmas) and went around campus and the streets of boston intruding people to wally and putting on street performances with him. Very entertaining.
Matt is just 3 or 4 stops away on the subway and it takes about 10 min to get to him, which is so much nicer than an hour like last semester. We STILL have not exchanged gifts with each other for christmas. It just keeps getting pushed back. Its tent
ely scheduled for next weekend but matt works on Sat and Sun so I have no idea when he is going to shop. I'll keep you informed on that. But its crazy because his birthday is in like two weeks (the 16th) so by the time he gets his christmas gifts it will be his birthday or valentines day.
Grrr this makes me realize how much time I don't have to plan gifts for all three of those and the job I don't have to get the money to put the ideas in place. Must go and plan now.....godnight all
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/13/04 05:25 - ID#21815
Porn: Only the lonely
As a person I find porn amusing, sometimes funny even especially if watched in good light humor. As a freshman and sophmore in college I would sometimes watch the occasional internet porn with one of my former closest guy friends, my boyfriend's roomate Ben, strange as it may sound. I ever had it on my computer, or on paper for that matter, but Ben, a virgin in college, had a bunch of it. Once in a while he would be downloading it while we were sitting in his room studying and we would stop and watch it. I would tell him things like "that position would never work with a non porn star, the girl would scream in pain" or "why do they always have spike heels on in porn? I mean I know they are not going for realism but when was the last time you saw a girl hitchhiking in stilettos?" etc. and most of the times we would just laugh at the horribly bad story lines, acting or music. Like I said as a person, in a group situation porn is funny- amusing even.
As a girl and girlfriend (my boyfriend Matt and I have been together for 2 and a half years) I think porn is disgusting as well as degrading to those who have sex for love with those they do love. I feel it makes a mockery of the act. After waiting for quite sometime and never compromising with my virginity I had sex with my boyfriend because I was in love with him. I knew that he was the one I wanted to share that with and I don't regret that for a seccond. I was never pushed into it or pressured by any force and I can say that I mad my decision based on love, which I can say I am one of a very few percent who did, of which I am proud. But my boyfriend and I had made the decision together and one of my pre-reqs to this was that he give up porn. If I was going to share something that special I would not want it to be dulled down by seeing the act, made for love, displayed in such dark a display. It was pure to me and if he didn't think so, then it wasn't worth my time, love or no love, if he couldn't respect the act, then I was not going to share it. I guess the deciphering of whether or not you fall in to the gross or acceptable porn watcher relies in how and why you watch porn. If you watch it alone and do it for masturbation purposes when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend willing to do the things you are watching (if you are alone and do not have a person to share naked time with, then I can understand the need for release)then I think that there is something wrong with that. However if you are a group amusement watcher I think that is healthy and acceptable. I'm no crazy religious freak or even a morality freak, I am a woman proud and willing to share the goods when I am loved and respected as much as the act is. Granted this is only my opinion sparked by pop ups and junk mail but this is how I feel with few and little exceptions. Random I know but thats my entry good day folks.
Location: Buffalo, NY
01/03/04 06:50 - ID#21814
I realize that I have not updated in a while and felt increasingly bad about it since seeing the e-strip crew on new years, so here I am. Earlier during Thanksgiving break when I was out for coffee with Mike and Jill, I was informed that other people read our journals, people I don't know, but that Mike and Jill have met or known, and that they discuss our journals sometimes. I was completely shocked, I had been writing these entries with the assumption that no one would really read, know, or care about me and my entries, you can tell in the format that I had been writing that it was aimed directly at my close friends. When I realized that other people had been regularly reading my journal I got a bit embarassed at all of the past things I wrote, just because I was so honest about how I really live, crying over a wedding story on tlc, money troubles, issues with my boyfriend, depression. I considered taking my journal offline, butI got so much positive feedback from my friends that I really don't see that often (since being at least 3-7 hours away from home for school) that I remembered why I started having a journal, which was to keep people up to date on me in a non fake way. Sure, I could do what my aunt from arizona does and send out that annoying newsletter to all of my friends at least once a year, but you honestly can't write one of those without sounding like you are bragging, and besides no one wants to read those, they are so general and boring. The other reason was because I have changed so much since starting college that I want my friends to still know who I am when I come home. I have started to read other people's journals who I did or do not know earlier this week, and I realize that I have nothing to be embarassed about, some peoples lives are more misguided than mine and more depressed than mine and I am glad that I throw in some cornyness sometimes and chesseyness people don't usually admit to(we all remeber the entry where I was talking about dancing naked in my dorm, when my roomate leaves for the weekend and I bust out the old school rap and dance naked or in my underwear, it is seriously the hilight of my week, and such a stress reliever -try it sometime).
Moving on, glad to see that I got such big mentions in MK and Mike's journals I thought you guys would appreciate a little new years suprise attack. Big ups to Paul for putting the directions to the party on the site, we drive past your apartment and wave almost everytime we go out but I never knew the exact address. Thanks to Paul and Terry for inviting the crazies off the street that I call my friends. Props to Terry for explaining the salt water tank, I felt like I was on bill nye or reading rainbow.
In other news, I am going back to work at the factory on Monday and have to get up at 5:30 thats about an 8 our difference from the time I get up now, I don't know how I will do it. Thank god it is only for a week and then I get to go back to bean town at 5:30 sunday morning. It's gonna be a crazy week.
I'm looking forward to being at my new school, a little nervous about making new friends as it is hard for me already because of my strangely high standards for friends and then the fact that there are only about 600 kids at this school. I am really going to have to suck it up and not be so synical and pessimistic for at least the first few weeks. Incredibly hard for me. I am also praying for a good roomate this time, it hasn't really happened yet, but I haven't had any unbelievably bad ones either, just none that I could deal with on a basic friendship level. Okay I have to go eat something, but I am feeling better that I let this out and feeling better that I updated. Godnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Location: Buffalo, NY
12/21/03 04:47 - ID#21813
It's such a good vibration
I love that I told my cousin that we would go shopping at 1 tomorrow and it is already 3am, and since I need at least 10 hours of sleep on a non school day for me to actually get out of bed as well as an hour to shower then its not happening. She's going to call me and wake me up and I am going to be pissed, but she also invited me over for dinner so if I bail out on shopping I don't get dinner tomorrw. Its so funny how much I have no money right now that I need to rely on whatver dinner invitation I get to eat. During Thanksgiving break I was not concerned about the ammount that I was spending and I wasn't really thinking about my $400 deposit on my new school or christmas presents or my train ticket home. I had saved $300 which is quite a lot for me to have accumulated and I was expecting to go back to my nanny job when I got back to school when the family got back from Ireland. Well now I wish I had been concerned and tried to save more than I did. My nanny family came back and fired me with rumors that they were bringing back a girl from ireland to be a full time nanny. So there went my main income, so then I thought that I could just return my books for the remaining two hundred for the deposit as I spent a hundred on a train ticket home leaving me with $200. However returning my books gave me only $70. I am not only in debt for the remaining deposit money but I need to buy Christmas presents for my family and secret santa (as well as have some money for my secret santa dinner and new years). Matt and I already decided that we wont exchange gifts until after we get back to Boston which is later than 2 weeks after christmas which is depressing because I look forward to his gifts the most. Now my work tells me they are shutting down the factory for cleaning and repairs until the 5th of January which only gives me a week of work before I go back to school. I hate money and how unless you have it there is nothing to do or eat and I hate how in order to get money yu have to work. I hate working, and responsibility. I think I really hate working because it is so structured. Maybe if I was allowed to wake up naturally at whatever time my body feels fit (alarm clock alarms are my biggest pet peeve, the mere sound makes me angry literally very angry especially if they are loud alarms with straight beeping) and get ready at my own pace, and set my own days and hours then I would not care about having to work so much. If my job allowed all of those things I wouldn't care what I did, even cleaning elephant poop or pornography. The same I feel with school, I would have A's in every class if I could do it my way. Whatever.
So I got back to the B-flo Thursday at like 1am after a 13 hour train ride with Matt. Being with him made it only seem like 5-7 hours. I thought it was going to be horrible, but it was actually pretty fun kind of like an adventure. I prefer it to a seven hour car ride with matts dad (mainly because of the latter who feels that I am a distraction from Matts work and doesn't totally apporve of our relationship even though I am a lot of the reason Matt does sit down and do his work etc) We watched movies on his computer played simpson's clue and UNO and I didn't even really sleep at all (I nodded off for a half hour during monsters inc).
Today we went to Mikes dinner party which was quite delightful. I would not have believed that Mike could have pulled it off on his own had I not been there, but the food was delicious. The chicken was great despite my quandry about the oranges being cooked inside it. I am one of those people who doesn't try many new tastes with old food that I already like, especially when it involves fruit and meat or poultry. I guess I just like to keep my food groups pretty seperate with a few exeptions, but I must admit the chicken was very good and the mashed potatoes were quite a crowd pleaser(the cheese was a great thing as always). The conversation was good and my dancing was better, but
er and zobmndo brought the house down as always. Good times. But now I must sleep as it is almost 4am and I know my cousin will undoubtedly wake me up too soon so goodnight everyone.
Location: Buffalo, NY
12/09/03 12:42 - ID#21812
Oh the weather outside is frightful
Wow, Boston is just recovering from a snow storm, I have been stuck at Matt's dorm for the second day in a row and will be missing class tomorrow due to a driving ban. While this sounds fun, tomorrow is my last day of french and American civ and I will be missing the review I so desprately need. Grr I hate snow. Not to mention that my boots are in my room 10 miles away and I have been taking on the storm in my red sneakers that get wet the second I step foot into the snow.
I have $200 dollars in my bank right now and I am hoping to make $200 in returning books so that I can make the $400 deposit for my new school that is due soon. Not to mention that whole christmas thing. The deposit will take up all of the money I have had saved for christmas. The factory I was hoping to work at over break shuts down for the week of christmas and then it will be another two weeks before I get my first pay check. Talk about a lousy holiday, oh well I am not homeless and I keep telling myself that so that I don't feel as bad. My mom is gonna be pissed that I won't have any presents for everyone. Strangely I bought hers before my economic depression but then her birthday is the day after christmas and I have no gift for that. Sometimes you just can't win. Graa.
I love the family guy, I am sorry that I didn't watch it when the episodes were coming out new. The stuff is so random and hilarious. Okay there is a free midnight breakfast at matts school that I need to take advantage of, because I have never been one to turn down free food and that explains a lot. goodnight.
Location: Buffalo, NY
12/05/03 01:08 - ID#21811
Movin' on up to the east side...
Yesterday I was informed that I got into both of the schools that I applied to this semester. I am going to tour the remaining one on Saturday before I make a final decision, but the one that I toured last time will be tough to beat. I am very excited to get the hell out of here (my roomate was even more thrilled then I was). You know how the day that you know you are going to get your hair cut, your hair looks better than it ever has? Thats kind of how Curry College was for me today. I want to get out of here, I want to be more in the city, I want my old major, and I want to be closer to matt, but I spent the whole day today hanging out with these kids that I hang out with once in a great while, and I had like the best time. They are all pretty good friends because they've been hanging out together all the time this semster so I knew I was a bit out of the loop but I know that if I hung out with them a little more I would totally be in with them. And even though I was still technically out of the group I had an amazing time. Moving on, I've been thinking about my factory job that I have to go back to this christmas break and I am really dreading it. Thank god it will probably only be for like two or three weeks. I hope I can even get through that much, how did I ever do it this summer?
OMG My roommate is watching real sex on HBO and trying to pass it off like she's watching it because it's the funniest thing she's ever seen. Yeah sometimes its funny when you catch it when flipping channels but if you aren't really interested, you don't watch it for the full hour by yourself. She had a guy in here earlier and my friend Ferris and I were trying to embarass her and it was hilarious. She has been such a slut lately. There were three different guys in here this week. I gotta give her props for catching so many guys when she doesn't believe in pre-marital anything (and she's startlingly ugly), thinking about it, forget the props those guys probably didn't realize that she wasn't into naked time until halfway through the chick flicks she made them each watch. No wonder why it was a different guy each time, not to mention they were mad weirdos. The guy tonight had crooked and some missing teeth and could not pronounce his s's...real winner.
Matt has been working on his final projects non-stop which is good because he's such a procrastinator but I really miss him. I haven't really seen him at all since we've been back from thanksgiving break. Thats been really hard for me. And Mary Kate Maloy I miss her too I've seen her for only two hours in three months and then she was off to penn. I wondered if her lecturing aunt had murdered her because I hadn't seen or heard from her, she hasn't updated her journal and for a while she wasn't on aim.
How do I check this elmwoodstrip mail? I have no concept of where I retrieve it, someone let me know. So much more to say but not enough time to say it, story of my life. Alrighty tv and bed call...goodnight everyone!
Location: Buffalo, NY
<-- Earlier Entries
12/01/03 02:36 - ID#21810
So it's 1:16 in the afternoon and I recently just got up. I guess I shouldn't be suprised that I missed both of my classes today because it happens so frequently but I am pretty mad at myself for letting it happen again. I think it's just that I know I can pass without going and that I really hate being here, but I forget that attendence does count as part of my grade here and I should have learned after failing my english class my first semester freshman year because I missed too many classes. I hope that they would at least tell me that I was in danger of failing because of attendence but they didn't with my english class at mo-ville so again I should know better. Grrr. I won't get to see matt until at least tomorrow night and that depresses me because seeing him is generally what I look forward to after being stuck in this hole. I have crap to do today and I guess I should get started on it but then the depressed side of me is saying to sit around in my pajammas all day, but I like variety and I did that yesterday.
I really wish I had some friends down here it's not so fun spending all day alone and waiting for the few hours at night when I get to see Matt. It's pretty pathetic. It would be so nice to have friends here because there is so much stuff to do in Boston and it would be nice to try a lot of new things, but I generally don't want to do things by myself. It kinda sucks because Matt litterally only gets off his campus on the weekends and only then if there is good reason to. I would love to do fun stuff during the week, it would break things up and probably take away some of the depression or at least the focus on the depression, but Matt either has to much work, or wants to relax because he's had too much work. I need some friends bottom line. I guess I am going to have to make a conscious effort to make friends at my next school. However if I go to my first choice school there are only 600 students and that could be a problem.
Okay it's about time I showered and attempted to do something with my day. I will probably update later when I have something worthwhile to say about my day. Later.
Location: Buffalo, NY