At least once a month I get a million dollar idea. Ok, if they were really million dollar ideas I would be a millionaire by now -- but a good idea. I don't know why I haven't implemented this one before, but I think it's time has come.

I have read countless m4w posts on craigslist, and let me tell you, the men of San Francisco could use a makeover if they want to reach the women of San Francisco. Seriously! And who better to do it than moi?

At the very least I could take a decent picture of them. Holding a camera in front of your face might be cute when you're out having a crazy night on the town. But when you're home alone writing a personal ad in the wee hours of the morning, it just makes you look awkward at best / desperate at worst. And photos with the ex-girlfriend cut out are NOT a good idea.

Even if you don't include a photo with the initial post you're gonna need one to trade if you get a response. And with (e:Twisted)'s warranted GetADate!® methodology, you are (almost) guaranteed a response!

As for the rest of the ad, I don't even know where to start. Which is why these guys need me so much. I honestly don't think some guys realize how they come across in these ads. There can't be THAT many obnoxiously pompous or socially clueless guys out there, right? Don't answer that. Now I'm not going to portray some arrogant a-hole as a supportive, emotionally-available sweetheart. That might be good for business, but not fair to the female population. But if I can find some redeeming quality and at least soften the arrogance with a little self-deprecating humor, some desperate chick out there might take him. If the picture is good enough.

And some of these guys are already very close to being contenders. A little tweak here and there could make a big difference. Naturally I'll have to monitor their response rate and help with any high priority exchanges. Which will give me a chance to see what works and adapt accordingly. Did I mention how brilliant this idea is?

I'll have to start slowly so I can refine the GetADate!® (patent-pending -- you saw it here first!) methodology before rolling it out on a larger scale. Some of these guys are so desperate they'd probably pay $xx just to get a practice run in with me. (I'm talking email exchange people! I'm not signing on as a sex surrogate, although I hear that can be lucrative too.) I think it's better if someone as compassionate as I am shoots these fish in a barrel before a more cutthroat opportunist comes along.

And if one of these guys turns out to be a diamond in the rough, I get first crack at him. How perfect IS this business plan?

Plus, I can finally live my fantasy of whipping some sense of reality into the rest of them. I'm going to card every 40-year-old who claims to be 35 and says he "looks much younger" than that to delude himself into actually feeling justified in only dating 25-32 year-olds. Get over it buddy! Everybody in the Bay Area "looks much younger." It's the freakin' fountain of youth out here. If you can't deal with a girlfriend who is your exact age, that simply means you're in denial about your age. It's only a number. Get used to it.

And I'm sure I'll get to hear plenty of horror stories about what it's like on the "other side" of m4w, which may very well have contributed to why some of these ads are so defensive. I can understand why that might happen, but if you don't want to attract the b!tches of CL, don't write for that audience. You've got to write as if you believe she's out there. Oh, I am going to be so good at this!

Figures I finally get around to it just when I'm about to start that full-time contract in San Leandro. That is going to be a shock to my system. It's been a long time since I had to get dressed to go to work. Don't anybody steal my idea while I'm gone.