Ok so as many of you know, I am writing my thesis. I think I have finally come up with a worthy and comprehensive abstract, but I was hoping for some feedback from you all if you are feeling so generous. Not generous in the 'go easy on me" kinda way, but generous as in, honest and sincere feedback. So yeah, here goes....


Chaotic whiteness is a road map, a tool box, offering ways of being that allow for the possibility of re-membering, re-imagining, and un-mastering whiteness in the ongoing projects that make up critical race theory and whiteness studies. By trespassing on the boundaries that have been fabricated in and among various academic disciplines, I will navigate through women's studies, African American studies, literary criticism and various other theoretical paradigms in order to expose and explode the ways in which the fabrication and maintenance of whiteness haunts both black and white bodies. Finally, I will consider the necessities of articulating and performing a whiteness that must not be bound by what whiteness is supposed to be or have access to, while simultaneously taking seriously the ongoing potential for appropriating, commodifying and romanticizing the knowledges, imaginations, memories and interiorities of people of color.

So Felly spent

$6 plant
$11 Pottery
$2 garden shears
$5 soil

---

$24 for a not so bad lookin bonsai


Dwarf Japanese Juniper...aka shrubbery.



The pottery makes a big impact.

Felly and I have been looking for a dog for her parents for a while now, mostly via craigslist. The other day we saw an ad for a free mini dachshund and now I have two in my house. Amazingly enough, right now, they are both sleeping and it is pure bliss. However, all of last night and most of this morning (since 8:30am when they woke me up) has been HumpFest 2009 in my living room. Sigh. I am not exactly sure what this is all about...if it is a power struggle or a confusion or simply male bonding. Who knows, but I have never seen red rockets quite like these. It's traumatizing really. Maybe later I will take some photos or video so you too can join in the fun. Tonight Felly is taking the new dog, "Lil Smokey," to her parents house in Lake George, so even though I will be alone tonight, at least I will have a chance to recuperate from HumpFest.


Kids doing crazy things



Animals doing crazy things

Felly and I finally made it over to Price Rite last night and at this time, I don't think I can make a fair assessment of the place because it was still a mad house there. I can't really function when there are that many folks clammering over turkeys. Felly and I did manage to come out with a 3 dollar turkey and a giant ham, however. Dunno what we are gonna do with them, but they were crazy cheep. I understand now that it is similar to Aldis, which Felly and I frequent for various items, but is terribly far away. I wonder how long it will take for that place to calm down...or will it ever??

Also, I have to say that I have never in my life seen such a giant display of Goya products. All the labels were facing the right direction and the stacks were perfect. I was in awe.


In other news, I am an idiot. I now have a total of 6 weeks to complete my thesis. 6 weeks. I have had almost 4 months and I spent it doing who the hell knows what. Good grief. I am feeling confident about the work that I have already, but the whole putting all together into one thing and then DEFENDING it....jeez louise. Terrifying.


UPDATE
Just got a postcard in the mail about PriceRite from the UFCW

"A PriceRite supermarket is opening in our neighborhood. PriceRite calls itself an 'American Company' and says that the store and its parent company, Wakefern, have a 'commitment to community.' But PriceRite workers aren't so sure....
Workers at PriceRite stores say they've been harassed, threatened and even demoted when they tried to form a union...
Consider shopping Tops instead."

So there is a petition you can sign to allow PriceRite employees to join a union:


and their website

I was quite surprised by the magnitude of this parade, I must say. I wasn't sure about the whole drinking in the streets thing, so I chose not to buy beer and bring it along with me. Course this later turned into me, (e:felly) and (e:heidi) having to purchase beer at a bar, and then a convenient store, but thats ok. The parade was gynormous and went on for some 3 plus hours I think. So here is some of it.

Why do these people always have to show up?



These dudes were creeptastic.









Please note the massive amounts of bouncing curls. This is also creeptastic.

I love Irish wolfhounds!





Broken down on the incline.

I will spare you the massive amounts of Union pictures.



Weiner Dogs!! Felly and I went home and joined this club!



Haha...we walked right past the police with our beers in hand... fabulous. Later one of (e:heidi)'s friends asked if they were real cops! Hilarious. Apparently they are.




And for those of you missed it, please check out my last post about good ideas for entertaining children that are free or cheap. Donkey!

I went to see the Jonas Brothers Special Event Concert whatever in 3D yesterday. Holy hell...15 bucks PER PERSON. One for me and one for my TEN YEAR OLD! Are you serious. I kept the glasses. Screw them.

In other news...I am desperately searching for FREE and or CHEAP places to take my kids...ie. places to hike, places to ummm...I dunno.
I am not good at this...I don't have kids. What do you do with them?

Looking particularly in Lackawanna, Hamburg, West Seneca area and Tonawanda. The suggestion box is now open...who knows, yours might be a winner!


Finally, Felly and I will be heading out to the parade today so we are looking forward to seeing folks!

I'm not quite sure why I'm posting right now...but hey, why not?

I guess I will go ahead and give ye olde college try at the post I've been thinking about posting. Post haste? Posty post.

The comments I received about Octo-mom were what I expected, to say the least. I believe it was (e:jason) who told me that my gut was telling me that I agreed with the comments, and the truth, he is right. And that is the subject that I want to deal with...

I believe that our "guts"..intuition, instinct, whathaveyou, are culturally and socially shaped and manipulated and that often enough, those values that inform our guts are products not of our own making, but reflect and in turn shape the culture that we live in. This is, on a side note, one of my issues with liberalism and individualism that this country was supposedly founded on. I could go off here on about identity politics and the like, but I will refrain.

Yes, my gut tells me that octo-mom is irresponsible. My gut also tells me that I should be afraid of poor neighborhoods were mostly people of color live because they have been labeled "ghettos," places of violence and poverty. My gut tells me to cringe when homeless people come up to me and ask if I cans or bottles or change. My gut tells me that the cranky woman behind the counter at wilson's farms is a rude bitch who needs to effin relax. My gut tells me that my girlfriend never notices that I scoop the kitty litter every day. My gut tells me to tell one of my client's mom that she is fat and lazy and needs to get up off the couch and clean her damn house. When I was young my gut told me that abortion was terrible, until I thought I was pregnant at 15.

So you see, my point is, that if we followed our guts and refused to step back from the situation, we wouldn't get anywhere.

Felly and I were driving home from...somewhere and decided to follow the map via the straightest route, which ended up taking us through a poor part of the city. I felt scared but then began to ask myself, why do I feel this way? What must it be like to live here, to grow up here? How does my skin color, the place where I grew up and now live shape my feelings about this place?

I once had a man come up to me carrying empty bottles who was obviously drunk. I was totally grossed out and wanted to get away from him, but then he said, in reference to Ralphie, " I always wanted a dog." How nice I thought, sarcastically, and then he continued, "I always wanted a dog and mother." Who knows what this guy went through to get there in front of my house carrying empty forty bottles. How lucky am I?

My example could go on, but I don't think they are necessary.

My point is that we have been conditioned to believe that what we "feel" in our guts is our own, is instinctual, natural, objective. But what we fail to remember is that we all come from somewhere. I grew up in a middle class home where my parents were and still are married. That home was in a 99% white, middle class farming community in "upstate" NY. New York is located on the eastern coast of the United States and all of these and more have brainwashed me in some way or another. The amount of possibilities of ways of looking at and living in this world are almost infinite and to think that something is absolute because our guts tell us that something is wrong will get us nowhere.

I guess here is the point where I should be prepared for backlash. I know I am often on here spouting what I think is right and wrong, what my values and morals are. I don't want to put out there that one shouldn't have values, because obviously I do, we all do in some way or another. I guess what I'm calling for is a more rounded, more obtuse approach to passing judgment and making claims of morality. I think that if we could all open up just a little bit more, to see the possibilities of why things are, how they came to be, what they may or may not mean, we might be able to move forward a bit.

Warning: Contains offensive language!



If you can ignore that misogynist bs that is spewing out of Lil John's mouth, this is actually quite catchy.

Also, I read all the comments from the previous post. I have been formulating a post about political morality vs. gut feelings/reactions, but it's not ready yet.

Sigh...ok, so for my job I have to do notes via the computer... but every time I log into the website I get this:

ERROR:
Cannot locate proxy which supports Remote Scripting.
Was RSEnableRemoteScripting method evoked?

I installed Java and enabled it in a bunch of places but no luck. Every site I look at it is in developer language that I don't speak, let alone understand.

Oh...and that is the message I get when I use Internet Explorer. I can't even get to that page when I use Mozilla.

Por Favor...

Reproductive Rights means more than having the ability to have the option of abortion...it also means that women have the right to HAVE children. The key word here is CHOICE. This is a tricky commentary I've been struggling with over the last few days...but I will do my best.

By now you should have at least heard of the "Octuplet Mom" that is all over the damn tabloids and news stations.



She is getting all kinds of flack...including something the other day about a gun. I dunno. It's tempting, don't get me wrong, to think, what the hell is she doing? She already had a bunch of kids, she has no husband and no job and now she's got eight infants on her hands. Who will support these kids, America wonders. We will! That's what's going on in most people's minds I imagine.

Before I get into this...I want to remind those of you who don't watch TV, or at least not quality programming such as these shows...that there are many, many women who have tons...yes, TONS of kids... and who are not getting half...or any of the negative responses that Octuplet Mom is getting. For example:




John and Kate plus Eight have their own show on TLC...and the only reason they have their own show is because they have EIGHT kids. The show chronicles the trials and tribulations of raising such a large family and there is always commentary by John and Kate where they are all made up and sitting in chairs alone looking calm and relaxed. The picture of a happy, heterosexual, married couple who just happen to have kids.

Then there is this show with the Dungar Family:




They have, I believe, 18 or 19 kids! They are of some religion where you can't use birth control, obviously. They home school all their children and have a real estate business to provide for the little fundamentalist army they have spawned. Once again, happy heterosexual couples who are married and ready to keep producing, and America is ready to keep watching in awe. Maybe a little disgust, but once again, not half the flack that the single Octuplet mom is receiving...



Sigh.

The point here is not to say that John and Kate Plus Eight or The Dungar Family should be getting more negative attention for reproducing as much as they are, but really looking at why Octuplet Mom IS getting so much. We approve of certain women reproducing, and that approval seems to have no bounds when it comes to how many that particular woman can reproduce. She must be married, obviously, to a man who can support her babies for her, and she must be at least middle class or higher. Preferably she should be white...although I guess if she meets enough of the other criteria that would prevent her from being labeled a "welfare queen," then we might let that one slip.

May I remind my dear readers that women, women of color, immigrant women, poor women of color especially, disabled women, and mentally ill women were STERILIZED against their will in this country. Why? Who decides?

Women's reproductive abilities have long long long been used against us. Whether we were having too many babies or not enough, whether they were white babies or light skinned babies or healthy babies or boy babies or whatever the hell men wanted at the time.

So basically, what I am trying to say is this. I understand the temptations. I fight with it myself sometimes. the almost instinctual judgment wells up and we say, you shouldn't have babies that you can't take care of. It seems so simple. But it is not. We are talking about a long and complicated history of women's bodies being used as a tool to manipulate, abuse, coerce, and blame women. And history is not some giant in the hillside that no longer haunts the villagers.